Picasso Trigger

Picasso Trigger (1988)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: Steve Bond, Dona Spier, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond, Roberta Vasquez

From: Malibu Bay Films

Yes, after more than 5 months, I've finally watched another Andy Sidaris film; I've been doing it in chronological order and this was right after the infamous and hilarious Hard Ticket to Hawaii. From what I've heard, after that one the rest of these wacky silly movies that Sidaris did just weren't the same.

The plot... double agent Picasso Trigger (named after a fish; really, the Lagoon Triggerfish is sometimes known as that, as its look makes it appear to be painted by Picasso himself; there's also a painting of the fish and it's part of the plot) is gunned down by Miguel Ortiz, a bad guy. To make a long story short it involves Ortiz's brother being dead so understandably Ortiz is pissed and he (along with some other people) guns down those who he felt responsible for his brother's death, mainly being those in “The Agency” (the group of people represented in Hard Ticket to Hawaii and Malibu Express). The Agency gets together and they go after those bad guys. That includes a cousin of the Abilene boys you saw in the first two movies, and like with them, his shooting is so bad he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

It's more convoluted than that but by the middle you'll figure it out... not that the plots in these goofball films really ever matter. I thought it was strange that in the first half of the movie you only see one pair of bare breasts but soon thereafter in the 5 minute section where several different couples make out and bump uglies (and also you see more after that), suddenly you see pair after pair after pair... it does take time to get going; the second half is for sure better than the first. You get plenty of explosions, for sure.

So yeah this isn't as great as the last film old Andy did-like I said already-but it's still entertaining if you're willing to watch such programming. There's wacky 80's music, fashion (one guy always has on a shirt that is almost completely unbuttoned), and aside from the boobs there's such plot elements as a sex/slave trading ring and weapons like a shotgun crutch and motorized toys that blow up, such as cars and an airplane. I also laugh that one of the good guy agents is an attractive Hispanic lady known as PANTERA and an older guy in the agency apparently has the code name UNCLE LONG DONG. Tremendous.

Oh, and there's a fight between two buff bad guys and a girl/guy combo where the bad guys do pro wrestling moves on the dude, including the Boston Crab and the old Hart Foundation Hart Attack finisher. Seriously. I marked out. Like I said, the second half definitely is better; it's more action-packed and wacky, at least. I'll be back tomorrow night.