Road House

Road House (1989)

Runtime: 114 minutes

Directed by: Rowdy Herrington

Starring: Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Ben Gazzara, Sam Elliott, The Jeff Healey Band

From: United Artists

A perfect movie to revisit if you are still feeling like death warmed over after a booster shot. Yeah, it did not hit me until last last night but after a bad night's sleep and barely making it to the bank then Target, watching something serious after returning home was not in the cards. Instead for the first time in ages I went to the Double Deuce and I at least tried to believe that there's a great bouncer named Dalton who can sew his own stitches and has a philosophy degree from the prestigious NYU.

Technically speaking, the movie is really dumb and a gigantic mess, at least when it comes to the storytelling and plot. At times it did feel way too long and the movie OBVIOUSLY was filmed in California despite the alleged Missouri setting. Ben Gazzara played a rather over the top evil SOB, although perhaps not as I'll mention at the end. This is pretty dopey (after all, the honky tonk craphole known as the Double Deuce changed suspiciously fast into a slick 80's bar) although that doesn't mean it is not a blast to watch if you're so inclined.

After all, there's the awesome Patrick Swayze, the even more awesome Sam Elliott, explosions, blood, bone-breaking action, nudity, a monster truck, legendary professional wrestler Terry Funk, philosophical statement that may or may not be wise, and to me the best of all: multiple songs from the Jeff Healey Band performing live. No wonder this became a favorite in the 90's after it played ad nauseum on both TNT and TBS. For something that apparently drew a huge female audience due to Swayze being THE heartthrob of the time, it's hilarious that this is such a macho over the top affair featuring a monster truck crushing cars, many barroom brawls, and the aforementioned blood & nudity. No way could I handle anything actually serious-at least as of this moment-so this was perfect for the way I am feeling now.

A little earlier I noted how Ben Gazzara played a rather obvious A-hole, an evil man who bullies everyone and acts like a mob boss by skimming money from everyone else. Well, it wasn't until today that his comeuppance here reminded me of a real life villain; look up Ken McElroy, a town bully in a small Missouri hamlet. He's been covered in multiple podcasts & documentaries. He was REALLY a horrible human being and his ultimate end seems so similar to Road House's ending, I wonder if it was coincidence or not. Point is, perhaps I shouldn't complain about Brad Wesley ruling roost over a California... I mean a Missouri town.

So Sweet... So Perverse

So Sweet... So Perverse (Cosi Dolce... Cosi Perversa) (1969)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Carroll Baker, Jean-Louis Trintignant, Erika Blanc, Horst Frank, Helga Line

From: Several different European companies 

Or: When you just received your booster shot for The Black Plague and the power keeps on going out where you live... I won't be saying as much this time. The Troglodytes that provide my power apparently need multiple days and multiple attempts to fix a problem, which is definitely not needed after having to endure an incredibly inefficient experience getting my booster shot earlier today, which wasn't at a dead mall like the first two times but was a drive-up deal at the city's health clinic. Henceforth, I'll be more brief than typical. If there's any solace, besides a sore arm and feeling tired, I haven't been knocked on my fanny by the shot... actually, let me say “hindquarters” as I know that “fanny” means something much more explicit in the United Kingdom!

Anyhow, the plot: it's a remake of Diabolique, whether it's designated as so or not. There's no school involved but otherwise the beats are familiar; there's a scheme to murder an SOB which goes awry. As the director is Umberto Lenzi, of course there was plenty of sleaze on display. While not a patch on the original movie, it was still an entertaining time. Jean-Louis Trintignant is the most famous name although his role was designed not to show off his talents the best; subsequently, Carroll Baker, Erika Blanc and Horst Frank stand out more with their showier parts. Flashy visuals and a groovy Riz Ortolani score meant that it was a fun giallo.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Runtime: 125 minutes

Directed by: Chris Columbus

Starring: Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Lisa Jakub, Matthew Lawrence, Maia Wilson

From: 20th Century Fox

As a result of Prime having a 4K stream of this that won't be free for me any longer in 2022, that is why I watched this for the first time in at least 25 years. The last time this was viewed, I was a kid so of course I was tickled pink by Robin Williams, who is indeed someone I still miss. Viewing this now, there are some flaws.

I mean, the entire premise is absurd, although it is easy to roll with and it's supposed to be silly instead of a scenario where you're supposed to ponder what impact this deception would have on his children. This is perhaps too long at a hair over two hours-and among other things, they shoehorned in some moments where Williams did his manic riffing even though it was not needed. Furthermore, I don't know if it was the intention to make Pierce Brosnan's character not that bad a guy... sure, he's a rich dude who drives a Mercedes but as he's someone who stated his intentions to finally settle down AND he likes all the children. His biggest “crime” is dating a divorced woman; Sally Field as the wife isn't always painted w/ the kindest strokes.

All that duly noted, this was still a pretty good time. Most importantly is that with the variety of humor on display, I laughed a decent amount, especially in the final act. The lead guy definitely is a flawed character (an immature guy who can't hold a steady job and is rather lax when it comes to raising the children; no wonder his successful businesswoman wife is upset) who does learn from his mistakes and even if the method is rather unorthodox, he learns important life lessons & skills which do make him a better parent. The award-winning makeup does help with the illusion yet to me the nicest aspect is that the real life drama of divorce and a fractured family is addressed. While my parents were married for 40 (!) years and I never had to deal with a divorce, many kids do have this experience and the way it was presented here was more “realistic” and difficult than what you get in Hollywood, as long as you ignore the whole cross-dressing angle.

This does not have as much nostalgic love w/ me as it has with many others; that said this was about as good as I remembered it from the halcyon days of my youth.

 

I Talk Christmas Then Folk Horror

The first film I saw was the 1951 version of Scrooge, S.K.A. A Christmas Carol: 

Scrooge (1951)

Runtime: 86 minutes

Directed by: Brian Desmond Hurst

Starring: Alastair Sim, Jack Warner, Kathleen Harrison, Mervyn Johns, Hermione Baddeley

From: George Minter Productions

Merry Christmas, everyone! I wanted to make that proclamation in this truncated review, due to me having a busy day that will include having a nice meal w/ family. For the first time I saw this famous Charles Dickens adaptation-which many say is the best cinematic version-on the FXM Channel.

It is an oft-told tale where the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge is a greedy avaricious SOB who is visited by various ghosts on Christmas Eve and despite his advanced age he is shown the error of his ways and the rotten impact he had on various people. It was a great presentation behind and in front of the camera whether it came to how the plot was presented, the cinematography, the editing, the music, etc. However, it was Alastair Sim's portrayal of a three dimensional character-along w/ his expressive face-that help make this so impactful. The changing of the original text also were beneficial in selling the transformation of the lead character.

2021 has too often seemed like 2020, Part 2. At least there have been positives, and today should be a nice one. Hopefully everyone has a nice Christmas or if you don't celebrate the holiday, a nice December 25.

The second was the 2021 documentary Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror.

Even if I never acquire the Severin Films boxset All Our Haunts Be Ours: A Compendium of Folk Horror (there are other Blu releases I'd like to have that will be far less expensive than a 15 disc set of 19 movies that from all appearances will be excellent and worth the cost) at least this documentary can be easily streamed for a cheap price. The 194 minute (!) length may cause some to blanche and be wary of it right away but at least for a dork like me, I was always riveted by all the information present and the history lesson that was given. As for the box set itself, it was supposed to be out by now-the release was pushed back, hopefully resulting in a decrease of issues that have sadly plagued boutique releases in recent months.

After an introduction where three titans in the genre came out within a few years of each other (Witchfinder General, The Blood on Satan's Claw, and The Wicker Man) are spotlighted, it is divided into such categories as British folk horror, those from America, the rest of the world, and the sobering reason why this specific genre has become popular again in recent years: the world has sucked as of late & so many bad things have happened everyone is pessimistic about the future. As the documentary doesn't even mention “the black plague” we have had for almost two full years now...

More than 200 movies are brought up, all having clips of at least a few seconds long and plenty of those were new to even me. It was fascinating hearing about different culture and how their folk traditions were the same & differed, resulting in the broad scope of differing tales out there that at times share similarities & themes but typically are colorful and unique in their own ways. Comparing and contrasting examples from the UK, the US, Brazil, Finland, Thailand, and Australia-among others-was fun for someone of my disposition. Besides all the footage shown, a wide variety of different heads were present, most unfamiliar to me but practically all seemed quite knowledgeable about the subject. A wholly appropriate score that matches the images on screen quite well-from Jim Williams-and not only was this a rewarding journey for myself, it will inspire me to see a genre example for review tomorrow. Of course, if you aren't as interested in the subject then there is a probable chance that this straightforward academic presentation won't win you over, yet if you don't fall into that camp...

There isn't the time to go on a long run of those-among other things there are some titles that will be off of Prime at the end of the year-but in the future I should remind myself to watch more.

Finally was a specific folk horror title: 

Hagazussa (2017)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Lukas Feiglfeld

Starring: Aleksandra Cwen, Celina Peter, Claudia Martini, Tanja Petrovsky, Haymon Maria Buttinger

From: Several Austrian/German companies

Slow even by my standards, yet it was still interesting enough for me.

As I mentioned in my last review, in the future I'd like to see more folk horror than just “once in a long while”; the rest of the year I have plans for what to see so another one won't come until sometime next month. This specifically was picked by me as more than once in the past I almost pulled the trigger on it but never did. Last night I finally did and while I understand those that found Hagazussa to be “too dull”, “languid”, or even “a cure for insomnia”.

The pace is indeed rather relaxed, even by my patient standards. Yet this isn't a Lav Diaz production; at least personally I was always captivated by the story. Comparisons to The Witch-or The VVitch, if you will-are obvious. After all, the setting is the 15th century and centers around witches, or at least a mom and daughter accused of being such and when the daughter becomes an adult herself, those accusations continue. There's even a black goat, although the two films are otherwise pretty different from each other. Whether or not the claims against the lead girl Albrun are true, her being ostracized from most others does take its toll.

A movie made in film school by Lukas Feiglfeld that was partially crowdfunded, there are some flaws such as the pace. That said, if you relax and pay attention you may find this to be quite the jam. That is an important aspect to note: the viewer has to pay attention as information is never spoonfed to them and you will miss key plot points if you aren't focused on the screen. It has nice performances, gorgeous rural Alps scenery, a suffocating atmosphere, a few haunting moments I'll never forget, several WTF moments, and an awesome dark ambient industrial music score that was atypical music in general-at least to my ears that rarely hears anything from the genre-and manages to be rather effective as when it is present, the unsettling mood it creates is perfect.

Not for all tastes-even for those that love The Witch-yet for some they'll enjoy the movie even more than I did.

Tomorrow Is A Day For Catching Up

Tomorrow night I'll have three reviews in the same post. Christmas was busy for me so things got pushed back at least on this site...

Downhill

Downhill (1927)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: Ivor Novello, Ben Webster, Norman McKinnel, Robin Irvine, Jerrold Robertshaw

From: Gainsborough Pictures

On the Criterion Channel this month, they introduced Hitchcock for the Holidays, which is 21 movies from his career. Most I had seen before but some I'll either rewatch and not mention it to anyone online or they will be reviewed here such as this silent that was one of Hitch's first ever films. It's a simple tale which thankfully was spiced w/ Hitch's flair—even back then his strong style helped elevate a script.

After all, the plot is not a Gordian knot impossible to untie; a college man named Roddy who is a star on the school's rugby team takes the fall for his friend when a young woman becomes pregnant out of wedlock-perish the thought but that was a scandal back then. Roddy does indeed have a downfall as his life goes downhill. does unsavory things to survive, whether explicitly shown or implied.

As typical for The Master of Suspense in the silent era, this did not have many intertitles, instead letting the visuals tell the story. When they do appear there is some creativity, such as “30,000 Pounds” that I won't spoil. Part of the visual storytelling involves such devices as metaphors and camera tricks/movement. Roddy does appear to be a fool for not revealing the truth much sooner but overall this was a fine tale, a little on the dry side (apparently for some on Letterboxd this is more effective than a Quaalude in making them doze off) yet due to the acting and the visual panache was good overall.

The Cat In The Hat (Unfortunately, The 2003 Movie)

I have my toddler nephew to “thank” for this one.

Yesterday evening I flew back from Kansas to Florida; while it was nice to hang out with family and have a toddler suddenly determine that I was his new best friend (hopefully he's not heartbroken that I won't be back there for an entire year) being at home is a great feeling. Being around three young boys is absolutely exhausting-I don't know how my sister does it. Anyhow, the littlest one wanted to see Mike Myers as a furry; the reasons why are unknown to me... then again he isn't like Jim Stafford—he likes both spiders and snakes. The appearance of Myers as a cat-man is truly the least of its problems and this was indeed as ghastly as I had heard for all these years.

From the very beginning this was just wrong, a total disaster that was thoroughly unpleasant and totally antagonistic against anyone watching this. I have many questions that probably don't have satisfying answers. Why did they go in this garish direction? Why did it have multiple moments that made me glad my nephew was probably too young to understand what was being said or done? Why does Myers play the titular character as if he was Austin Powers, except with a different accent, was in the middle of a coke binge, and was a gigantic loathsome A-hole? Why did the Dr. Seuss estate approve of this nightmare that totally disgraced beloved children's literary characters? Thing One and Thing Two fare worst of all, including totally nightmarish visages. The final act, it made me think that perhaps I should have said “Austin Powers, in the middle of a brown acid trip” due to how bizarre it got.

The most surprising is that this is one of the most polarizing motion pictures on the entire site of Letterboxd. Many actually rate this better than I do and that is perplexing. Is it nostalgia? Is it ironically giving this 4 to 5 stars as if this was The Room? I can admit that it at least was shot nice (by three time Oscar winner Emmanuel Lubezki, of all people!) and the loud production design was at least interesting-the director did that role for multiple Tim Burton movies. Otherwise, what a nightmare for the two children that made up the lead characters; it was preposterous that they somehow learned life lessons from a creature seemingly from the bowels of Hades that treats them both terribly, threatens multiple times to kill their dog, has the hots for their mom... the overwhelming thought I'll always have for this disaster is how something so appalling could involve so many talented people and treat a beloved character for kids so poorly. Seeing almost all the cars in town be a 5 door Ford Focus except for Alec Baldwin's Ford Thunderbird-and all were Day-Glo colors... I am sure The Blue Oval regrets the sponsorship designed to show off then-new vehicles.

Catching Up On Christmas Entertainment

I revisited two Christmas classics in the past few days, only one of which I've reviewed here before: 

First was National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Watching a Blu-ray projection of this on a small part of the screen at a dome theatre... what an experience.

I have reviewed this twice before; I'll link the newer review here, done only two Decembers ago. I don't want to reiterate that too much so instead I'll note that it is still a quite funny film which present the holidays in a truthful if exaggerated manner. Among all the laughs there's poignant moments that aren't mawkish & a nice message about getting together w/ your family even if at times they can drive you batty. One thing I'll note that was only realized by me during this screening: as Bill Murray gets older, he more and more resembles his brother Brian.

Thus, I'll describe the experience of seeing it at a science center in Wichita. Long story but there will be some alone time w/ the grownups so last night was me, my sister and her beau. After eating at a tasty local pizza joint & having a drink at a hidden Tiki Bar, we attended a sold-out screening of the film. There was the option of cosplay, which we didn't do but plenty did. For all the booze that was present, thank heavens the audience wasn't too irritating. It was nice to be around an audience laughing at a very entertaining comedy.

It was a fun experience so I don't want this to sound like a bellyache yet two things were unexpected. The way they got Miriam Flynn to plug their screenings of the movie: they paid her to do so in a Cameo. Now you know that Miriam Flynn is on Cameo. The proclamation at the beginning where I confidently stated that this was a projection of a Blu-ray they have; if you're wondering why I am so self-assured there: why, the first thing you saw when the movie started playing was the FBI warning, then the Warner Home Video logo!

Second was Mickey's Christmas Carol, the 1983 cartoon that's a little less than a half hour long. It may be nostalgia but I will have to give this a high rating; perhaps it's that or watching this for the first time in at least 25 years, but if I don't see another version of the oft-told Charles Dickens tale, this will fulfill that need. I definitely have seen other versions, but that was long before I even joined Letterboxd almost 9 (!) years ago.

As others have noted, it was a nice feat for the Disney animators to be concise and distill the essence of the Scrooge tale where an ill-tempered old penny-pincher is visited by his late business partner then three ghosts of Christmas and is shown how his cruelty has left its mark in a multitude of ways, including poor old ill child Tiny Tim. It was a nice introduction to the famed tale for those like my nephews that hadn't heard it before; heck, my 3 year old nephew recognized the most famous Disney characters that played role here, such as Mickey and Donald. There is a dark moment (at least by Disney standards) but otherwise this is still charming & even heart-warming at the end.

Important life lessons are learned that were originally based on the drastic differences between social strata in Victorian England but still apply to 21st century life. Not being a greedy avaricious SOB is always swell advice, along with giving to charity, helping those in need, and being happy during the holiday season. I realize not everyone can do the latter because of horrible real life things but the rest can hopefully be learned no matter the age.

A Boy Called Christmas

A Boy Called Christmas (2021)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Gil Kenan

Starring: Henry Lawfull along with familiar names like Maggie Smith, Jim Broadment, Sally Hawkins and... Kristin Wiig?!

From: A few different European entities, although I watched it on Netflix last night

This review is brought to you by Coke and... Jim Beam! Note that this was typed on OpenOffice late last night; I am not day drinking like I am some sort of lush. Right now I am in Kansas until this upcoming Wednesday, hanging out with some family. It is nice to see them again although three young boys in one house: I would be a terrible parent of one young child, let alone three that love to bicker & are full of energy. Anyhow, after they went to bed I was offered some alcohol, which included a mixed drink. I know that with some properties exclusive to Netflix in at least the United States-if not the world-hard liquor is seemingly required to survive to the end, but the booze came after this was watched-which was not a movie I picked out as it was meant for adults and children present. Ironically I was the one who paid attention to it the most although the kids weren't disinterested as they asked me about some plot points-and what a plot it is, perhaps too complex for the little tykes if they were paying attention.

Why did it seem familiar to see an older person telling a fantasy tale to a kid who sometimes interrupted and the adult responded back w/ sarcasm... why of course, it is The Princess Bride, something I haven't seen in eons but no doubt is superior to this. Heck, this even has a rodent, although it is not of unusual size. The plot as is: Maggie Smith is the older person who tells a fairy tale to three children and it's... an origin story! That is what we need more of in modern times—and it is the origin story of Kris Kringle, who was some kid in the Finnish woods that went out to look for his father (part of a group tasked with looking for an elf, because reasons) as his aunt babysitting him was a comically evil human being so he had to run away... and from there we not only get an elf village, fairies, and a troll, but poor Sally Hawkins had to utter some preposterous as the lead heel elf. It's all goofy and if I was a kid my opinion would surely be different but as an adult who had to see it while there was a cacophony of noise around me-thank goodness the captions were on.

I know there are far worse things that could have been streamed on Netflix last night that was designed for all ages. Even if there are plenty that seemed to like this wackiness more than I do, I can't go above “eh” with my opinion. There are “modern” references which were definitely designed to make the grown-ups laugh but “sigh” was my reaction. Kristin Wiig as the awful aunt was a surprise as otherwise this was full of British actors, from Smith and Jim Broadbent to Toby Jones and Stephen Merchant providing a voice. The biggest realization I have after watching this: I've seen Hawkins as an evil elf and appear in two Godzilla films yet not only have I not watched her early indie darling pictures, I haven't even viewed The Shape of Water yet. Shame on me.

 

Christmas Evil

Christmas Evil (1980)

Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Lewis Jackson

Starring: Fiona Apple's Dad (no, really), Jeffrey DeMunn, Dianne Hull, Andy Fenwick, Brian Neville

From: Edward M. Pressman

In my last regular review for at least the next week, why not discuss a movie starring Fiona Apple's father? No, really; I read that elsewhere and I was incredulous to this fact... only I used Google and discovered that Brandon Maggart was actually her dad. I've known of this for awhile so this was the logical time to see something easily available on Shudder... where it's listed under this this title yet the print uses one of its alternate titles: You Better Watch Out. As tomorrow I am flying out of state and won't be back in Florida until a week from today, I may only do a review or two during that time. At least I'll be online each day.

To be frank: a reason I saw this was a comment left on the Shudder website on the page of this movie. Someone asked why the plot of this was similar to Joker! I guffawed then was intrigued. Turns out, that is not an exact comparison although it can be said that like Joker, this was inspired by Paul Schrader, especially Taxi Driver. Of course, the director and screenwriter (both Lewis Jackson) is no Scorsese and Schrader, although the general idea was good and if the script would have been polished more, this would have received a higher rating for me. Maggart portrayed Harry, a poor schlub who at least has an alright job at a toy factory but otherwise is as troubled as Travis Bickle... in this case, as a kid he had a rather creepy experience where he realized that Santa wasn't real so subsequently he became obsessed over Santa. It was to the point that he spies on children in the neighborhood... which sounds horrifying and while it's just to write down in a giant book if they are naughty or nice, that doesn't mean it wasn't chilling.

Christmas Eve he snaps and the killings begin-only the targets he kills are the A-holes who are rude to him while he's kind to the children that deserve it, while he gives dirt to the bad kids. The first two acts are definitely uneven and slow. The third act, though... not only does business pick up, it becomes more and more bizarre until the ending happens, where I was befuddled yet I did laugh-in fact this has an undercurrent of rather dark humor throughout. The movie is rather peculiar-no wonder why John Waters loves it. Maggart's performance does carry Christmas Evil, along with an odd chilling score. In addition, Jeffrey DeMunn has a key supporting role and it was an eye-opener to see Mark Margolis pop in for about a minute.

There shouldn't be any concern—the rest of the holiday season I'll watch at least one appropriate picture that will be cheery/heartwarming instead of in the horror/thriller genre.

The Polar Express

The Polar Express (2004)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks... he does a lot of voices here

From: Warner Bros.

Or: I saw a Robert Zemeckis acid trip.

This is a first time watch as even though this was read to me in elementary school, I was an adult by the time this was released. The mixed reviews that this always had-not to mention the dead-eyed expressions that this unique motion-capture animation had due to the technology of the time-kept me away but it was about time to see how I felt about this. The wide gulf of opinions meant that I had no idea what to expect.

Honestly, this was far weirder than anticipated. From what I recall, the book was more about the pictures than anything else—the story was on the sparse side, so a lot needed to be fleshed out to create a 104 minute film. I was NOT expecting hobo ghosts, the train turning into a roller coaster ride, an elf that sounds like a G-rated version of Angry Joe Pesci, or Steven Tyler singing a holiday song. The pacing is all wonky & am I supposed to think that The Conductor is a real ass sometimes?

Yet perhaps because it's the holiday season and perhaps because I don't want to be a Grinch, I'll say this was fine overall. The general story is more than worthy... a little boy is unsure if Santa exists so the titular train arrives and he goes on a magical journey w/ other children to the North Pole. There's at least nice messages for all the kids out there about friendship and not being an impatient know-it-all like the character voiced by Eddie Deezen... it's funny to me that Tom Hanks voiced so many characters and one of the other voices came from Deezen. I don't know if any of my little nephews have seen this, but I bet they enjoy the film as they are still small kids. Me as an adult: I'll instead be baffled by such things as a random musical number where Hanks sings about... hot chocolate!?

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Martin Kitrosser

Starring: Jane Higginson, William Thorne, Tracy Fraim, MICKEY ROONEY, Brian Bremer

From: Still Silent Films, Inc.

This movie features a toy maker named JOE PETTO who has a son named PINO. Need I say more?

The availability of the film on Shudder and having watched Part 4 last night meant that this was the opportune time to check out something I heard was rather daffy for many years now. With any luck you'll figure out why I laugh at the name of the toy maker and his son; just WHY they went in that direction is unknown to me. What is known: Mickey Rooney must have been incredibly desperate for a paycheck at this late stage in life. You see, back when the original film came out, he was one of those that was outraged by a motion picture where a killer dressed up as Santa Claus & he made that opinion public. He was easily swayed to change his opinion... I imagine it going as: him being handed a bag of money and he accepts it by saying, “Controversy? What controversy?” I've looked at his filmography before and in the early 90's he appeared in a few genre B-movies that are surprising for a famous name like him. Whether they were less dignified than playing Mr. Yunioshi...

Anyhow, the plot is that what resembles a Pokeball murders a father in his home & bad things start happening to his wife and young son. Believe it or not, there actually is a toy maker named Joe Petto played by Rooney and he has a son named Pino. If you don't get the hint, it may be best in terms of potential spoilers... three characters from 4 actually return here, although two of those are small supporting roles that don't have too much impact on the plot and the third is Clint Howard, who only shows up for a minute before leaving. This is definitely more straightforward than 4 although there are still some elements that are rather goofy or characters that act creepier than they should.

While not the director, Brian Yuzna still was a producer and a writer of the script so his tone is still present; Screaming Mad George returned to contribute to the effects which were fine for the low budget. This has more comedy and was even hornier than 4 which did provide some laughs. Even though this is flawed and uneven-there are some dull moments in the first two acts-at least this was alright, with a zany third act. Rooney as a bitter old man who pounded down Jack Daniel's—was it true to real life? The cantankerous part I am more sure of than the alcohol part; but, I don't want to disrespect a legendary figure who had an incredible 88 year career in the movies.

As for the 2012 Silent Night that is a “loose remake” of the original, that's not available for streaming plus I've heard wildly different opinions. Will the 2022 remake be any good? Who knows.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Brian Yuzna

Starring: Neith Hunter, Maud Adams, Tommy Hinkley, Clint Howard, Reggie Bannister

From: Silent Films Inc.

This needed a GARBAGE DAY! Ha Ha HA HA sort of scene.

Last night once I arrived home I saw this movie, and shortly thereafter revisited the original when it played on TCM Underground as it had been awhile for me. There doesn't need to be a new review for it as my opinion hasn't changed. Let me mention that and what I recall from the first two sequels:

The first SN, DN is a nasty piece of business which is rather harsh and has some great kills... yet for its low-budget faults I won't fault the attempt at addressing trauma and the mistakes that can happen when attempting to care for children w/ what is known now as PTSD.

Part 2... it is legendary for all the stock footage and the GARBAGE DAY scene as that is buckwild—but there are other elements which also made me guffaw, including the bad acting.

Part 3...what a dumb mess of a movie which at least has moments such as Ricky from Part 2 now being played by Bill Moseley & having what I've heard described as “an electronic salad bowl on his head” which exposes his brain. It's odd, although strangest of all is that it features three people best known for their work in David Lynch projects.

This, it abandons the first three movie and does its own thing. As it is from Brian Yuzna and features effects from Screaming Mad George, of course it is gooey & features gross-out moments, in this case using a plethora of bugs. That is all well and good... except that the story (from 5 different credited writers) was a real mess. Heck, it barely feels like Christmas. While it's set during that season, it is in Southern California so like in Florida, it's just not the same if there isn't a cold snowy landscape.

The “plot” revolves around a budding newspaper journalist-who is discriminated against at the workplace due to gender-investigating a mysterious death on her own assignment only to meet up with a group of ladies best described as “a coven” and... a bunch of weird things happen which barely tie together and even if there's unforgettable body horror moments, the overall product is just strange and something I'll shrug my shoulders at. At least it managed to tie together The Bible, bugs, Clint Howard and Reggie Bannister, but there are other Yuzna flicks he was involved with that I prefer to this, like Re-Animator or From Beyond.

I Saw Gremlins Theatrically Tonight

AMC Theatres brought back their Thrills & Chills gimmick of secret screenings, as I mentioned in my early October review of Snyder's Dawn of the Dead. It was the only one of those I saw that month; considering most of the rest were either obvious popular genre efforts from recent years I already saw or recent films with mixed at best reputations (including The Purge), I made the right choice. I've talked about the movie twice before so no need to reiterate as I still think it's very good, an 80's classic among people around my age.

Bicycle Thieves

Bicycle Thieves (Ladri Di Bicilette) (1948)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Vittorio De Sica

Starring: Lamberto Maggiorani, Enzo Staiola, Lianella Carell, Elena Altieri, Gino Saltameranda

From: Director De Seca in essence made it himself

As 2021 winds down and I won't be around as much the latter half of the month, this may be the last “prestigious” film from the past that I get to see until '22. Among other things, a few holiday-appropriate pictures will be watched. They likely will be more cheerful than Bicycle Thieves, a downer of a motion picture which is still great and a prime example of the “Italian neorealism movement”, which is stripped-down pictures that has a cast of non-actors. Yet, don't think of it as Dogme 95 or even Mumblecore. Besides director Vittorio De Seca shooting it with a professional flair, the movie has a lush musical score. It's just that from what I understand, Italian movies before WWII were lavish productions like you saw in the Hollywood of old.

It is a deceptively simple story where the patriarch of a small poor family (Antonio) has to scrape together enough dough to purchase a bicycle that is needed for a new job-hanging posters. Not only is there political commentary, the struggles of trying to rebuild the country after the events of World War II is a key plot point, whether said or unsaid. It is not long before the bike is stolen—both Antonio and his young son Bruno look around the city. It is not the happiest movie for the holiday season, that's for damn sure.

Yet for the lack of help they receive from anyone in authority due to the chaos of Italy still suffering from the effects of the war (their poor status does not help either) it is still a movie worth seeing. After all, it is a moving tale where it is impossible not to root for such a empathetic family. The performances of Lamberto Maggiorani & Enzo Staiola as Antonio and Bruno respectively are outstanding & feel so real. It is one of the best child performances I've seen; those are so easy to go so wrong yet the kid himself and the director created something memorable. For all the strife and heartache, this is still filled to the brim w/ humanity & there's so much magic I'd rather not spoil for those that were like me before last night and hadn't experienced this before.

 

Chinatown Kid

Chinatown Kid (Tang Ren Jie Xiao Zi) (1977)

Runtime: 115 minutes

Directed by: Chang Cheh

Starring: Alexander Sheng Fu, Sun Chien, Jenny Tseng, Philip Kwok, Lo Mang

From: Shaw Brothers

Pabst Blue Ribbon, bootleg orange juice, & LED watches are bigger plot points than I expected.

It's been since April that I had last seen something from Shaw Brothers. A big release from Arrow of 12 movies from the studio (to be released late this month) has their prints now available on their streaming site. As someone asked in a messageboard thread, the print I saw is restored and unedited-apparently, Western releases of this were all cut. Despite it being directed by Chang Cheh & starring Alexander Fu Sheng, it was not a typical SB period piece... rather, it was set in Hong Kong, Taiwan and San Francisco—most of it was filmed in Hong Kong on indoor/outdoor sets & only some clips were photographed in the United States.

Fu Sheng played a Chinese version of a country bumpkin named Tan Tung who moves to Hong Kong to be around his grandfather. They are poor & he stirs up the pot so much, he has to illegally immigrate to San Francisco where he stirs up even more trouble by being in the middle of a feud between two gangs... which also ropes in a college student from Taiwan who is struggling to make ends meet in the Bay Area. This involves such things as corrupt cops, drugs, the dangers of wealth/greed and the Triad. 

There is too much bad comedy, which was unfortunate. Otherwise, this was a good time. My personal tastes lean towards enjoying 70's culture so the funky music and clothing was to my liking. It was an entertaining-enough yarn although it was not the best modern times Shaw Brothers picture I have viewed-that honor goes to 1976's The Sexy Killer, which believe it or not was a ripoff of Coffy-but at least it still has enjoyable fight scenes-not excellent, yet still enjoyable. More niche things that tickled me pink were: Tung squeezing orange juice by hand to sell it at a stand that is bootleg as he does not have an ID card, several characters consuming Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Tung desiring an LED watch. Not the LCD watches that first debuted around the time this film came out; rather, it was LED where you had to push a button for the time to appear for a few seconds. Just a few years earlier they were such hot s*** as technology that they cost more than a Rolex and 007 briefly had one on in Live or Let Die. Probably around this time they fell out of favor as LCD was honestly better for such a device.

All that said, it won't be 8 months before I see something else from the studio.

 

Time For Me To Catch Up Again

Sunday night I saw a YouTube documentary and Monday I had to do other things. By midnight I'll post the review of what I saw last night. For now, Disney's FastPass: A Complicated History, as seen here: 

I can't believe I'm reviewing a YouTube documentary here but there are several reasons for me to do so. I try to avoid any discussion revolving around what is even allowed to be reviewed on Letterboxd as it just seems like a real rigmarole. As long as this is available for me to do so, let me discuss this 103 minute piece all about queues and lines at Walt Disney World. It would seem to be an esoteric subject must resonate with a lot of people and be accessible to those that aren't dorks like me, as it has had 3 million views while only going public two weeks ago! I have had an annual pass to WDW for many years now so I am quite familiar w/ the subject and I generally enjoy going there despite all the negative opinions I have of how Disney runs the parks... or how Disney does business in general. My pass is NOT an endorsement of their practices.

Anyhow, the creator of this (Kevin Perjurer) runs the Defunctland channel & before last night I did see several other videos from the account before, which deals with various theme park attractions and related content that is in fact defunct. To share my interests w/ others, I'll mention that I use YouTube on a daily basis and what I see there is NOT the most popular drivel that has zero interest for me. After all, just looking at the thumb nail for MrBeast videos is enough for me to NEVER watch due to the stupid expressions on his face-which I know is a common trend among the “popular” creators... even worse is knowing that he's gamed the system to become so popular, and that's enough for me to say, “F this guy” no matter how much he says he wants to clean up the oceans...

Anyhow, I avoid all the tools on the platform and instead my watches include but is not limited to:

Esoteric sports (for an American) like Gaelic football
New car reviews
Repairing old cars
Discussion of odd tech products
Repairing old computers
Classic pro wrestling matches/discourse
Sports stadiums
Movie reviews
Some odds & ends
Many different genres of music

So naturally I'd be interested in watching a feature length product all about services at Walt Disney World no longer in use.

Introduced a little more than 20 years ago, FastPass was an awesome idea: paper passes created daily which allow people to pick up early in the day and use at a later point, which would allow them to cut in line and join the regular line close to the point of entering the ride. It was great and I always used it. Then, they F'ed it up when the digital route was taken. Going digital wasn't the problem itself; rather, it became way convoluted and the average person was screwed over as mastering FastPass+ was a pain... and I did use it & otherwise had no problems with it. It became a monster out of control so I am sure Disney was glad that for all the problems COVID caused them (including shutting down WDW for 4 months), it was the perfect time to get rid of FastPass+ all together and introduce Genie.

It has been a thing for less than 2 months and I haven't used it yet, mainly because I only have been to the parks once, and that was last week. Genie is apparently buggy as hell so using it at all doesn't seem so appealing right now. Never appealing to me is the idea that now to cut in line at the most popular attractions, it'll cost you 15 bucks! As the one ride I went there for (Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance) was mostly inoperable-as typical-and the mobile option for ordering food (which is the only way to order food now at some spots) did not work for me for the first time ever... my opinion of WDW right now is not the highest it's ever been.

Be that as it may, it's not like I won't renew my pass in two months time, or not walk around there and do other things besides occasionally going on rides, which is my modus operandi whenever I visit the parks. Even if you've never visited a Disney park in your life, hopefully this review resulted in you learning a little bit more about me.

Night Nurse

Night Nurse (1931)

Runtime: 72 minutes

Directed by: William A. Wellman

Starring: Barbara Stanwyck, Ben Lyon, Joan Blondell, Clark Gable, Blanche Friderici

From: Warner Bros.

For the purposes of adding more variety into what I review-not to mention, some recent followers are fans of Old Hollywood-I finally got around to a film I've known of for years now. It is decidedly Pre-Code: the movie is so horny, stars Barbara Stanwyck & Joan Blondell are shown in their underwear a few times each, totally gratuitously!

Those two dames are both nurses, Babs just hired basically due to her appearance rather than meeting all the qualifications-long story. They deal with a real battleaxe of a head nurse—she is easily mocked. After a first act that has some laughs, it becomes much more serious as the duo take care of two ill children of a rich woman where there's such things as the kids being mistreated, the socialite mom is an alcoholic and their chauffeur is Clark Gable who does decidedly non Clark Gable things in being a psychopath who punches multiple people, including women. Heck, there's even a sexual assault at one point.

Minor quibbles aside, it was an enjoyable (if dark) 72 minute experience. Gable managed to do well in an atypical part for him but it was Stanwyck & Blondell who were the standouts. It was especially easy to root for Barbara as the lead as she tries to help two little girls while using some scrappy street smarts. Even if there are some stereotypes present, at least there's a good deed done in the first act which is repaid in the finale. Wild this was, but at least it also had some heart.

 

House Of Gucci

House of Gucci (2021)

63% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 256 reviews)

Runtime: A too long two and a half hours plus

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Starring: Lady Gaga, Adam Driver, Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Jared Leto and his unforgettable performance

From: MGM/BRON/Scott Free

Last night I discovered that Ridley Scott must be a Donna Summer fan.

There's an AMC A-List app I'm paying for each month that better be used and as Scott yelled at people like me for not seeing The Last Duel (one day far off in the future I'll do so. To be honest, it's no surprise to me that a film with such a story was not a huge hit at the box office), I'll instead check out what looked to be the trashier of the two, and trashy elements this did have. The biggest issue I had with this was the tone. Some characters are way over the top (which I'll mention in a moment. Jared Leto's performance, my God) yet others play it more straight and it's not like The Wolf of Wall Street, another tale of rich people way out of control & behaving badly-which always is rather gauche in style.

To be frank, I knew nothing of the family's drama beforehand so I went into this fresh. Eventually me and everyone else in the same boat are caught up on the backstory of the family and all the drama within. The story told here is a familiar one: wealthy families having drama & feuding with each other, along with outsiders trying to weasel their way in because they're greedy. It's centered around Maurizio Gucci and his wife Patrizia; through her influence he takes over the family business but a prudent keeper of his (along with his company's) wealth he was not. She is a rather devious woman, he has a bitter father, his uncle Aldo is behind the times-it was another over the top performance from Pacino-and Aldo's son Paolo... Lord does this movie savage him something fierce.

Under a mountain of prosthetics, Leto dons the most exaggerated Italian accent you'll ever hear aurally and is portrayed as so incompetent, he had to be mentally handicapped. Not a shock that Paolo's daughter is IRATE over the movie, although other members of the family also aren't happy. Why he was buried so deep here, I am not quite sure as someone who otherwise knows nothing of all the machinations w/ the Gucci empire. At least there are famous faces sporting some real looks w/ their fashion...

All that said, this movie is still fine. I've mentioned before how I'll never understand the Lady Gaga gimmick or why many people think it's great; as she can sing and actually has some catchy songs (a rare admission for me when it comes to a “modern” musical act) I wish it wasn't a thing. Well, she actually delivered the best performance as Patrizia; yep, even better than Adam Driver as Maurizio. While not the best directing I've ever seen from Scott, it wasn't poor overall; the same goes for the song choices that sometimes are rather obvious and are too familiar to me. There's the sneaking suspicion that The Last Duel would have been granted a better rating from me; as is this was not bad... House of Gucci just wasn't a great morality tale concerning the evils of avarice or even was an over the top extravaganza. However, a big laugh came after the movie when I discovered the irony of Salma Hayek's supporting role: her billionaire husband is the CEO of the conglomerate that now owns Gucci.

Is Paris Burning?

Is Paris Burning? (1966)

Runtime: 173 minutes

Directed by: Rene Clement

Starring: An incredible cast which I'll mention in the review

From: A few companies in France and the United States. It was released by Paramount

Anthony Perkins fires a bazooka; need I say more?

It seemed a good idea after The Train to watch another famous picture revolving around the Liberation of Paris in 1944 during World War II. This will leave the Criterion Channel at the end of the year and as I dig both & all-star casts and Second World War pictures, it seemed apropos.

In a fictionalized version of real life events, Gert Frobe plays a Nazi general who is dispatched to Paris and an insane Hitler (as if there was a not insane Hitler) tasks him to blow Paris up if the Allied Powers come near to save the French after 4 years. The first half presents those in the French Resistance; importantly, not all of them are on the same page so one segment will do something bold in defiance and the rest have to catch up or perhaps try to stop what could be a deadly mistake. The second half introduces the Allies as they triumphantly march into town.

Look at all the talent involved:

Kirk Douglas; in fact, the Channel has it in a section devoted to movies “starring” him. That's rich in this case as he only has a 3 minute scene-as General Patton!-and that's it.
Orson Welles
Anthony Perkins, who does in fact fire a bazooka in the final act.
Glenn Ford
Robert Stack

Besides several German actors who were famous in the country at the time, look at all the familiar French names: Belmondo, Delon, Cassel, Montand, Leslie Caron, & Trintignant. How could I not watch something w/ such a lineup? Sure, some of the names are glorified cameos but that also happened in other all-star films of the time. Admittedly, this was uneven & some of the segments in this near 3 hour epic either felt too long or perhaps weren't needed at all. That said, this was still pretty good in my eyes. Besides all the famous faces, there was the interesting subplot of the German general actually being a sympathetic figure in part, there's stirring moments in all those disparate French men (not to mention women) having to work together, the sacrifices, etc.

It does remind me to see more pictures of its type, whether or not they feature unexpected famous faces using destructive weapons.

The Train

The Train (1964)

Runtime: 133 minutes

Directed by: John Frankenheimer

Starring: Burt Lancaster, Paul Scofield, Jeanne Moreau, Suzanne Flon, Michel Simon

From: A few different companies from a few different countries

Not exactly what I envisioned going in, but that is OK.

One consequence of having an up & down last week was not viewing this sooner, back when I wanted to. Consequently I actually briefly had bad memories of this due to that but I put that past me and this was last night's entertainment. It wasn't quite what I expected once I heard the basic premise of “Burt Lancaster plays a Frenchman who tries to stop the titular train that is carrying priceless paintings from the likes of Van Gogh & Picasso from being taken by Nazi bastards to Germany as Paris is about to be liberated during World War II” but that is OK as what was presented: very good overall.

I'd wax poetic about the performances, the battle between Lancaster's character and Paul Scofield's Colonel von Waldheim, the action scenes, the heroic acts, the sacrifices, the stirring score from Maurice Jarre, why I am probably like a lot of viewers in being tickled pink by Papa Boule, the intensity, or the affecting ending... but to be frank, today was not only busy for me, it was also a pretty blah day which wasn't complete trash. To be frank, the movie deserves a better review; of course it's only loosely based on a real life incident—the Germans did try to steal all that art but what happened IRL was far different from all the action presented here.

It was nice to see something else from Frankenheimer; he came into this production after a few days due to Lancaster s***-canning original director Arthur Penn, but even so I'll say how good this was: entirely his doing. As others have noted, he had a few years stretch in the '60's where several pictures well worth seeing were created.

Last Night In Soho

Last Night in Soho (2021)

75% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 296 reviews)

Runtime: 116 minutes

Directed by: Edgar Wright

Starring: Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy, Matt Smith, Michael Ajao, Diana Rigg

From: Focus Features

It took a long while, but I finally saw this film, and theatrically to boot; a Cinemark still had it and as it was 5 dollar day yesterday... I haven't seen every Edgar Wright movie (and not all that have been watched have been reviewed here) but my being “meh” to Baby Driver despite a soundtrack seemingly curated by me-that gave me pause when it came to his new movie. Of course it was something different from him so the alluring trailer & the retro vibes should have been enough. Be that as it may, at least that mistake has been fixed. As I would have been happy to be pals w/ lead girl Eloise “Ellie” Turner and her 60's aesthetic if I was a college-aged British chap now...

By now I presume most are familiar with the plot of how Ellie-from a small English village-starts having visions of 1960's London after she moves to the city in present time and those dreams start manifesting into her real life, so I'll instead move on. Personally, an awkward retro sort of person like myself will easily sympathize with a character like Ellie yet the biggest asset for the movie is the excellent performance from Thomasin McKenzie in the role. Even if you aren't like me you'll probably find it easy to root for such a likable young lady, or feel awful that she is crapped on by some Mean Girls at her new art school, or she sees those dreams turned nightmares in her reality. The cast as a whole was nice (including those that acted in the '60's like Terence Stamp, Diana Rigg in a fine final role or Margaret Nolan in a small part which was also her final acting credit before she passed away) such as Taylor-Joy's magnetic performance or Michael Ajao of Attack the Block fame as an actual nice fellow or Matt Smith's part but for this being the first time I've seen McKenzie in anything, she was great and shame on me for not seeing something like Jojo Rabbit or Leave No Trace before.

The story: it started off fine between modern London and the swinging 1960's version of the city that at first looked great for Sandie but eventually became a horror show for her—shown at the same time as Ellie's life is in a tailspin. Then the final act happens and well, I was not entirely on board for everything that happened. Not that it doesn't make sense in its own way, but I can't get into details as it'd massively spoil it for those that still have this on their watchlist. It very well could have ruined the entire movie-which is the opinion of some-which was not the case for me, although it being more effective at the psychological horror aspects rather than the more overt scares is something I have to note also.

At least there were other things that deserve high marks: old London being brought to life, the colorful cinematography, the bangin' soundtrack of older tunes either familiar to me or not, the blatant DePalma/giallo influence, & a nice concluding scene. Last Night in Soho was well-suited for the theatrical experience so not waiting for home viewing was a prudent decision on my part. Even if I don't love everything about it, McKenzie as the lead girl was good enough for me to give it a better than average score. Oh, and for those unaware the title of this movie came from Tarantino telling Wright that the song of the same name from Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich (who can forget that English Beat act when they were referenced in Death Proof?) would be great if it was used for a movie, and Edgar agreed. As even I hadn't heard of the tune before, it is played during the closing credits.