Clerks

Clerks (1994)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Kevin Smith

Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti, Lisa Spoonauer, Jay & Silent Bob

From: Miramax

Yes, I chose to watch this due to obvious reasons: 

Me rewatching this movie did come about after the shocking news that Kevin Smith had a massive heart attack. I've done reviews for Cop Out and Red State, both films I absolutely loathed for entirely different reasons; not even all of his most popular works are rated highly by me. Yet some of it I do dig, such as his debut. By now everyone should know the efforts it took to raise approximately 27,000 dollars to film this in his actual place of employment with his pals. It was quite the achievement to make a movie so lo-fi yet due to its quality receive all that attention and it launched his career. As I went to college in the early 2000's, no surprise that I knew plenty of people who loved his 90's work. I have no idea what they think of his career after that but it should also be no surprise a bunch of young men would be amused by all the vulgar dialogue and outrageous situations like this movie has.

Yet this is not just vulgarity or outrageous situations. I presume Smith saw himself as both Dante and Randal, guys who were in their early 20's and were currently listless in life, being content working at convenience store and videostore jobs people look down upon and having to deal with rude and dumb individuals on a daily basis. As much as an a-hole (charming, but still) Randal was, he still imparted important advice to Dante about how he is in charge of his own fate and if he thinks he's better than the customers, he should have the motivation to change his station in life. Also, his comments (along with what Silent Bob said) about how he shouldn't have that complicated relationship with both Veronica and Caitlin and he should pick one of the two... some guys definitely need to follow such a suggestion.

The movie and its dialogue still feels fresh today, and you believe those two colorful characters are the best of pals despite their disagreements and the bombastic way Randal acts. Such conversations as the one about Return of the Jedi and those that worked on the Death Star II... still unforgettable. Of course the performances aren't always great and the movie is rough about the edges, but that's part of the film's charms and it coming off as totally believable.

Despite what I think of where Smith's career has gone, I still wish him a full recovery. Except for such things as the early 90's hairstyles, I am thankful this has not aged badly.

Raw Force

Raw Force (1982)

Runtime: 86 minutes

Directed by: Edward D. Murphy

Starring: Geoffrey Binney, Jillian Kessner, John Dresden, Hope Holiday, Cameron Mitchell

From: Ansor International

If you haven't heard of this before... whoo boy what a motion picture:

For years now I've known of this cult movie, but last night was the first time I got to experience this... its cult status is well-deserved. Shudder has the Vinegar Syndrome print of the movie, and that print looks great.

What a damned crazy plot this has: basically, some people (including members of the Burbank Karate Club) go on a cruise that ends up in the Philippines, then they want to go to a place named Warrior's Island, which has monks, but they are atypical... there are also the alt-right... excuse me, Nazis, cannibalism, a probably drunk the entire time Cameron Mitchell, and if you ever want to see a fatter Hitler with a lazy eye and wearing all-white suit, that is the main bad guy. If you think that sounds like the goofiest-looking person in the picture, then you'll be gravely mistaken.

There's a lot more but I don't want to spoil all of the highlights, although there is a lot I can still mention and not reveal everything. Cannibals, zombies, a cathouse and a jade mine all factor into this story. Oh, and there's an Andy Sidaris-level of boobs, butts, and even beaver... meaning “an excessive amount.” Sure, most of the characters are interchangeable, the story slight and some of the acting is straight out of a porno from the era. Who cares though if you love outrageous movies along the lines of Miami Connection or Samurai Cop. And disco producer Walter Murphy did the score. As Edward Murphy was the director... I can put 2 and 2 together.

If only what was teased at the very end actually came to fruition...

The Phoenix Incident/Phoenix Tapes '97/Phoenix Forgotten

The Phoenix Incident (2016)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Keith Arem

Starring: Yuri Lowenthal, Travis Willingham, Troy Baker, Liam O'Brien, Michael Adamthwaite

From: PCB Productions

The Phoenix Tapes '97

?

Phoenix Forgotten (2017)

44% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 16 reviews)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: Justin Barber

Starring: Florence Hartigan, Luke Spencer Roberts, Chelsea Lopez, Justin Matthews, Clint Jordan

From: Ridley Scott, of all people

All three of these movies are related to one another only in terms of subject matter. First, Incident:

This was a horrifying fact I only discovered a few days ago: there were THREE faux documentary found footage movies made about the Phoenix Lights, the incident in 1997 where people (including Kurt Russell! He saw it while flying his small plane) spotted mysterious lights and naturally, “aliens in UFO's” is the popular rumor about their origin. The government says that it was illumination flares that were leftover from fighter jets (an Air Force base is nearby) and scientists explaining it do sound convincing... and they were not actually over Phoenix but rather nearby... yet of course people will be skeptical about what the government has to say about UFO's, so many will forever think it was alien aircraft. I thought it'd be a gag if yesterday I watched all 3 of those; after all, one is for free on Prime and this was only for 99 cents. I know, the joke's on me as I saw three found footage movies in the same day.

This covers 4 ATV riders who vanished. Thankfully this incident was only 73 minutes before slow ending credits begin. A big problem is that most of the '97 footage looks far too clear and modern, which destroys the illusion. So does this faux documentary somehow acquiring military footage, and I mean footage from fighter jets. Preposterous. As is, the story says that the United States military has had skirmishes with aliens before and this was the first big confrontation.

Another big problem is that the four young men are of course (and I don't know why this is a trend in found footage) real dickheads and totally unlikable. They were asstagonists I could not like at all with all their bro humor and arguing w/ each other. I suppose the special effects looked alright for the budget, but otherwise I can't give this too many compliments. A guy involved with videogames directed this so that is why one of the leads is Troy Baker, but even if you love his voice work in such things as The Last of Us, the Batman games or in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, you should stick with those instead of seeking out this dopey intelligence-insulting waste of time.

Now, '97:

This was the second of the movies I saw yesterday surrounding The Phoenix Lights of 1997. This one tried real hard to be authentic, down to there being no credits and it's not even on IMDb. Yes, some people still do that now. It is not a must-see and falls into the expected trope of the genre... yet I did not hate this so I'll call it average.

This has only a little of the faux documentary format; it sets up the footage we see, which is 4 young men (but thankfully not as annoying as the ones in The Phoenix Incident) out in the desert camping and fishing. Mysterious things happen and you can probably guess what happens next. The creature we see here is far different from the ones in The Phoenix Incident, although it's seen only sparingly. They have an RV so scary events happen while they are in there... like I said, predictable.

Whomever was involved with this, at least the movie wasn't bad, the acting was acceptable and the footage did look like it was from the late 90's. Even if you don't like this, it is over with after barely more than an hour.

Now, Forgotten:

Earlier in the day I posted reviews to The Phoenix Incident and The Phoenix Tapes '97, two faux documentary found footage movies based on the Phoenix Lights of 1997. Incident and Tapes were made before this, so they weren't trying to cashing in on this film, which somehow had Ridley Scott's involvement, as one of the many producers. This is about three teens that disappeared in '97. The sister of one is now an adult and decides to do a documentary about the disappearance; fitting, as her brother was in the midst of doing a documentary himself about the lights. In a tremendous comparison-even though it's not an exact fit-I heard the structure compared with Cannibal Holocaust. It was interesting how the entire second half of the movie is the '97 footage and you never see the sister or her story again.

Things are incredibly cliché and you won't see too many surprises. Actually, that is putting it mildly: even more of an inspiration than Cannibal Holocaust when it comes to storytelling was The Blair Witch Project. When the two teens are named Josh and Mark... c'mon now. This not having any jump scares is something that has to be noted in a wide release recent horror movie; then again there aren't too many scares at all.

Some aspects that have been attached to UFO is included here yet that and how the 3 teens aren't annoying A-holes is not enough to make me recommend this found footage movie, even if the structure is a little different and a famous director is attached.

Dead Of Night

Dead of Night (1945)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Alberto Cavalcanti/Charles Crichton/Robert Harner/Basil Dearden

Starring: Michael Redgrave, Mervyn Johns, Frederick Valk, Roland Culver

From: Ealing Studios

If you haven't heard of this British horror anthology before, now you do, and it's worth seeing:

I figured last night was the time for me to see a highly regarded British film from the 40's; now only was it horror (there weren't too many of those in the decade, mainly because of World War II) but it's an anthology.

The framing story is creepy from right off the bat: an architect goes off and visits a pal in a country cabin after he's been haunted by a recurring nightmare, which he starts off barely remembering. Turns out, once he arrives there and meets the group of people hanging out there, he realizes the nightmare was like a premonition, as it was him visiting that cabin and all those same people were there... and he predicts some things before they happen. That is certainly unsettling, then he states he remembers “something awful happening”, only he does not recall the specifics. There is a doubter (a doctor, naturally) but the rest seem to believe this premonition, and they explain that strange things have happened to them too in the past... which is the various segments in this anthology.

I won't go into detail about all the segments except that of course they do vary in quality, although the weakest one in many people's eyes (the golfing adventure) was at least darkly humorous (and definitely wacky too) and it featured Basil Radford and Naughton Wayne, best known as Charters and Caldicott from The Lady Vanishes; they were so popular they appeared together in other films playing similar sports-obsessed pals. To think that story was adapted from something by H.G. Wells. It happens to stand out as it's more a comedy while the rest are at various ranges of being chilling. After we're done with golf, boy does this end on a strong note.

Various aspects of Dead of Night reminded me of later works, which I dare not spoil. I will mention that one tale will remind you of a 21st century horror franchise. In addition, the ventriloquist segment-the most famous one-has a dummy that looks like Jack Nicholson but the infamous Magic is not the first horror film to make that field creepy as s---, although at least this did not have commercials that ended up traumatizing children like Magic did. After that the framing story is concluded and the resolution is also unforgettable.

Believe the hype this film has gotten in modern times.

The Room!

You likely know all the details by now.

Oh hai guys, yes, this is a film I've seen before, but that was a long while ago and last night was the first theatrical experience. Randomly, my local cinema (part of a pretty small chain) had two screenings of it last night; it was the same digital file that was shown by other chains late last year... it was an advertisement for The Disaster Artist as among other bonuses, Tommy Wiseau talked to James Franco twice in incredibly ungainly discourse. I used that specific term as the screening started a half hour late; a manager explained that it was a problem with the digital file they downloaded. As that place has had several problems in the past with starting movies on time... oh, and the place looking run-down after only 10 years are big reasons why I rarely go there despite its convenient location for me.

Anyhow, there were no footballs but someone did bring plastic spoons. It was decently attended and it was a good communal experience, everyone laughing at disbelief from all the perplexing moments; it was easy to hear which ones had never viewed it before as several times there were giant guffaws. By now I don't need to explain how the story is an American tragedy involving a few friends, or any of the subplots brought up only to be dismissed seconds later (a character almost being killed, or the whole breast cancer thing) or Wiseau's unconventional performance/highly unusual accent, or YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA! Even people who have never seen it in full at least knows those aspects.

The movie is as bad as its reputation. I have seen worse, and it has never made me mad like other half star catastrophes I have seen in my life. Watching it is a 5 star experience, especially with a crowd. However, it all is stupefying, and this is a crystal clear example of a piece of work better seen than described. It becoming a cult hit is quite the tale so I am not surprised someone brought it to the silver screen. While I am not unconvinced that Tommy Wiseau is some sort of character played by a performance artist, I guess it does ruin the illusion of him being this inept and creating something so cockeyed... not to mention his very weird demeanor. No matter the case, in this digital era it is quite the feat for most of Wiseau's life to still be a giant mystery; I will presume he has a different name on his birth certificate and such basic facts as his age, birthday and place of birth can only be guessed at and rumored.

There's so much more I could say-such as the incredibly passionless sex scenes-but instead I'll note that it took chutzpah and sheer determination by the insane star for people to even know about this trainwreck rather than being a grain of sand on the beach and imperceptible to practically everyone like other similar dreck has over the years.

Black Panther

Black Panther (2018)

97% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 335 reviews)

Runtime: 134 minutes

Directed by: Ryan Coogler

Starring: Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Martin Freeman

From: Marvel

Yes, I saw a comic book movie in theatres, and I don't regret the decision: 

In the past I've made it clear that unlike most other people, I don't actively seek out or watch the modern superhero/comic book movies as I just don't care for many of them which is why I haven't watched too many of them. It doesn't mean they are off the list for me so that is why in the past few years I've seen the two Guardians of the Galaxy and Wonder Woman. Besides the rave reviews, they work as stand-alone films so it's not like of The Avengers series where I need to see all the others beforehand. WW and GotG, I did not think were 5 star masterpieces but I still gave at least decent marks to them. All the hype surrounding Black Panther captured my attention, and what I had seen concerning all the work that went into costuming was appealing. Even people I know who usually don't go to the local cineplex saw the movie and “loved it”. Therefore, I went to an IMAX screening; it was a good decision as the screen expanded for certain scenes and there are gorgeous visuals throughout.

By now most people are familiar with the story and how it was obviously influenced by such work as Hamlet. Beforehand I thought it was typical comic book nonsense that the country of Wakanda was “hidden to the rest of the world.” In the movie it still is a little silly this was the case. Yet how that was presented... to a history nerd like me, I know all about various European powers pillaging and ravaging the continent for its resources and Wakanda would want to put up a facade to protect itself. Those Colonialist fears along with them being a peaceful nation and not wanting to make its great capabilities known as it would inevitably lead to combat (despite their weapons being enough to prevent black people from being oppressed) is the backbone of the film and I thought it was a fascinating thing as you could see both sides of the argument.

The humor moments usually did not work for me and there were a few silly comic book moments but otherwise I can give a nice rating. The story is not deeply complex yet I was still intrigued in the central conflict and the talented cast doing a nice job overall was a big asset. I have little knowledge of the character; I can say that as presented, it was easy to root for the titular Black Panther, thrust into the role of having to be the King of an entire country. He loves Wakanda so he is concerned for its citizens and trying to protect them.

As for the costumes the Wakandites (at least that's what I'll call them) wear, they are inspired by various peoples in Africa; I found online discourse about it. That includes the lip plates of the Surma and Mursi tribes of Ethiopia, Zulu headdresses, the guards' uniforms modeled after Maasai people of the middle eastern part of the continent, and Agbada robes, commonly worn all across Africa. I've seen some complain about how all the different influences are not “realistic”... and this is a film where the brilliant 16 year old scientist/Black Panther's sister can sit in Wakanda and simulate driving a car in Busan, South Korea... I'll instead tip my cap to those in production, such as costuming for using all those influences to give the rest of the world a general look at how some people in Africa dress, based on tradition.

This is still a comic book movie so the expected tropes are still present and if I watched more of those I imagine I'd feel this sticking to the same general formula to be tiresome and old hat by now. But as I don't, I can enjoy this for what it was and I am glad the black audience finally got a movie they've been wanting to see for years now. The idea of seeing a heroic movie set in Africa and starring African characters is sadly alien, so no wonder this has resonated with so many. I guess I shouldn't complain about the delay as Ryan Coogler did a bang-up job here and anyone can be a fan of this.

Black Magic Part II

Black Magic Part II (Guo Hun Jiang Tou) (1976)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Ho Meng Hua

Starring: Ti Lung, Lo Lieh, Liu Hui-Ju, Lili Li, Lin Wei-Tu

From: Shaw Brothers

What a zany horror film this was: 

Recently I saw someone online briefly discuss the film and mention a few things about it that tickled my fancy; as it's for free via Amazon Video Prime, I figured I should watch the sequel to a film I saw last summer. While the writer, director and 3 stars are all the same, this has nothing to do with the first Black Magic aside from it being a horror film set in the 1970's... and a lot of wacky moments.

What a wild plot this has. Note the opening: it is less than 30 seconds before some women working at the women take their tops off and swim in the river. An alligator with green eyes (!) eats one of the girls, because I guess the filmmakers were like everyone else and loved Jaws... or all the money it made. Suddenly, an older dude draws that alligator over with a chicken... so he kills 'gator... all for retrieving that girl's bracelet? A few minutes in and I was baffled. The main plot kicks in and some people note that bizarre cases are being noted at a local hospital, so “spells” are being blamed by some of the locals. Even after some powerful evidence, there's a character who shouldn't have done something so dangerous in order to finally believe that something supernatural is going on.

They end up at a nightclub; I had heard various 70's funk songs were lifted for the soundtrack. A tune or two I may have recognized but that's uncertain; whether or not it's original, the score is pretty funky and the one ditty I did recognize was The Last Bongo to Belgium, by The Incredible Bongo Band. Apparently Shaw Brothers never asked beforehand if that tune could be used; then again, there have been movies from minor Hong Kong studios that did the same thing. As for the actual plot... Lo Lieh is an evil wizard who has created zombies; they aren't always the undead, but he controls them via a nail to the cranium so it's a voodoo sort of thing. One way he has his powers: drinking, well, human breast milk. As breast milk was also a plot point in the first Black Magic, does this say something about Hong Kong society at the time?

The movie has a lot of different elements... a deformed fetus, wacky 70's clothing, worms, voodoo dolls, a few moments straight out of James Bond (!), various gross-out moments I won't spoil, the dark arts in a capitalist society, and even on one occasion I was reminded of The Devil's Rain. The final act has some real strong scenes-ones I won't be forgetting anytime soon. That is why I can give this a nice rating, along with general entertainment value, sometimes the thrill being perverse.

Stagecoach Is Still A Great Movie

and what an entrance for John Wayne... he appears and there's a hard zoom into an extreme close-up; iconic.

Cinerama's Russian Adventure

Cinerama's Russian Adventure (1966)

Runtime: The version I saw was 128 minutes

Directed by: A bunch of Soviet directors

Starring: This is a documentary

From: Two Soviet companies and the American one that put together this compilation of footage

Not only do I deliver a review, but I also provide some education for those that don't know about an interesting format from way back in the day: 

Before I talk about this I better make sure that people know what Cinerama even is; judging by number of ratings on sites such as Letterboxd and IMDb, not even that many film fans have seen the releases done by Flicker Alley of some Cinerama films, made by Cinerama Productions Corporation. That process is from the early 1950's and lasted a few decades; it was on a giant curved screen that wrapped around you almost 150 degrees, and the picture was shown via 3 projectors. This was impressive as it debuted even before the widescreen process of Cinemascope, which was the catalyst for all but a few specialized releases in modern times being widescreen of some type, whether 1.85:1 or something in the range of 2.35:1.

Not surprisingly, the showings of those documentaries were big deals and to best wow the audience, those films were all about the sights & sounds of locations all around the world. I hadn't seen anything from Cinerama before and the impetus behind me seeing this first was its presence on Amazon Instant Video. That seemed like the best way of trying out one of these; it wasn't even made by Cinerama Productions-rather it was several shorts made by companies in the Soviet Union using Kinopanorama, which is practically identical to Cinerama. They just put it together for American audiences and added an intro/narration from Bing Crosby.

What is seen here is various sights/sounds all across the Soviet Union in all the four seasons, scenes of life in Moscow, a few minutes at a dance company, and the ending moments are from the legendary Bolshoi Ballet. There are also segments that a few will find more objectionable by today's standards... whales are hunted and you see one butchered, and there's time spent at a circus. It's not a traveling one... rather, they hold performances in a circular arena with seating on three sides. There are comedic moments and trapeze stunts, yet you also see bits involving animals and there have been accusations that in general, critters in circuses aren't treated well. I can't say for certain about that but seeing lions get on the backs of horses as they ride around... I might not want to know how they were trained to do such a thing, even if the visual is pretty incredible. Also, there's a bizarre segment where you see trained bears do various things, the highlight being one driving a tractor! Somehow that is presented straight as if it's supposed to be as authentic as the rest of the footage.

I better explain how the image is simulated for disc release; the process is known as Smilebox and it emulates the curved screen the movies were originally shot for. Stitching the images together, where they are put together is obvious; then again that was always present in the print so that is to be expected if you ever watch one of these. As for my high rating on this, I am a nerd who enjoyed seeing all that footage from the Soviet Union, from horses pulling sleds on a snow-covered landscape to loggers transporting timber down the river; also, all the cultural material, such as the ballet and earlier, those native dances. While I watched the stream in HD, seeing it on Blu-ray would be better and the stream's audio was in mono; the other big selling point of the format was stereo sound, which was another novel feature for the time and Flicker Alley replicated the sound for the releases, so I don't know why the stream was like that.

This documentary shows the USSR in a favorable light, which was uncommon in the Cold War era and hell, the way things are now you won't find much praise for Russia. I'll be happy to support a smaller niche label that releases films like these and ones even more obscure, so in the future I'll be seeing at least one more of these.

10 To Midnight

10 to Midnight (1983)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Charles Bronson, Lisa Eilbacher, Andrew Stevens, Gene Davis, Geoffrey Lewis

From: Cannon

Oh, the 1980's...

Recently I discovered that all the Cannon movies on Amazon Video which recently became free if you had Prime... they'll be leaving Prime already once March 1 rolls around. Henceforth, I reasoned I should watch at least one of those, and in some circles people still laugh at some of the most over the top moments in this picture; specifically, the surreal moment where Charles Bronson holds an odd sex toy and bellows at a suspect the immortal line, “IT'S FOR JACKIN' OFF, ISN'T IT?”

The plot: Bronson is a hard-nosed police detective (would you expect anything else) who has to team with young neophyte Andrew Stevens as a killer named Warren Stacey is slicing and dicing young women. When I say he's just like a Men's Rights Activist, I am not being trite; he's not a bad-looking guy and is in shape, but he doesn't know how to talk to women so he comes off like a real creep. Instead of saying horrible, incredibly dunderheaded comments on Reddit, he kills. Warren knows enough to wear gloves to avoid any fingerprints; to avoid further evidence, he... does the murders without any clothes on. That character was pretty chilling, especially considering he spoke in a whiny fashion and was sometimes a crybaby; like I said, a Men's Rights Activist.

The cops don't have enough evidence against him and as Chuck has a college-aged daughter, he decides to plant evidence; not that a cop would ever do such a thing... honestly, I am not anti-police yet I can easily admit that some are poor human beings, and for whatever reasons evidence has been planted, even if it's for what they think are noble reasons, as was the scenario here. As you can suspect from what has been said so far, the movie is high on the sleaze factor; plenty of women are seen nude and there is some pretty vile dialogue. This is obviously not for all tastes. Yet I was entertained by this trash.

10 to Midnight is at least well-made, there are some nicely done suspense scenes, shades of giallo and slasher are conspicuous, the acting is fine-familiar faces include Lisa Eilbacher, Andrew Stevens and Geoffrey Lewis-the final act is aces, and there's a synth score that is pretty rad; hell, the opening credits tune and the one right before the final scene sound like synthwave that was made a month ago by some guy in his basement at about 3 AM and uploaded to YouTube. I am sure some will find it obvious the Reagan-era political beliefs that too many criminals are being coddled and there are too many loopholes that set them free... some won't like such a viewpoint and I won't share my mine but in the context of this movie I can be amused as that's how many 80's flicks were. Those that love sleaze definitely need to give this a whirl.

The My Bloody Valentine Remake Is Still Cool

That is all.

The Love Witch

The Love Witch (2016)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: Anna Biller

Starring: Samantha Robinson, Gian Keys, Laura Waddell, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Jared Sanford

From: Anna Biller Productions

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Yes, I did decide to watch this movie the night before Valentine's Day so I could talk about it on what is technically St. Valentine's Day... but I may sound like a tool saying that so let me continue. I have no good explanation for not seeing it sooner; there are now regrets that it took me this long to check it out, especially considering it's been on Prime for months and I've known about it since pretty much it was released.

While the movie is set in modern times, much of it has the retro vibe, inspired by the Technicolor movies of the 1960's (especially the horror flicks) and it's easy to forget the time period as you see all the colorful sets and costumes. Elaine is the titular witch, who is quite attractive... her appearance is part of the social commentary as she wishes to be valued for more than just her good looks. She makes potions to make men fall in love with her but it always goes wrong. They go wild as she does various sexy things yet in the end they are not able to handle it.

I haven't seen any of Anna Biller's other work... then again she's only done some shorts and this is her second feature film. I can say it is admirable how she not only wrote and directed, but produced, did at least some of the groovy score, was the editor, art/set director, made most of the costumes, and also production design. More so than typical, the successes and failures of the movie are on her shoulders. I believe the movie overall is a success. It may be a little overlong at 2 hours exactly but otherwise I can't carp too loudly. Ms. Biller set out to make a movie which is feminist and tackles such topics as the patriarchy and unfair standards women have to follow. I feel anyone can enjoy this but as a dumb man I can only assume the target audience will be most interested in the film's messages.

Samantha Robinson as the lead is not just a pretty lady who was made to look red-hot in the film; she was a smoldering presence, a true treasure as someone whose performance was hammy (as in the style this was aping) and it was note-perfect for the movie. The rest of the cast is fine and there are various interesting-looking people presumably cast for their appearance, but Robinson was the standout and as her role is so important I am glad they did not choose the wrong person to play Elaine. Naturally this won't be for all tastes, yet for me the movie works and is more than just a 60's gimmick.

For A Few Dollars More

For a Few Dollars More (Per Qualche Dollaro In Piu) (1965)

Runtime: 132 minutes

Directed by: Sergio Leone

Starring: Eastwood, Van Cleef, Gian Maria Volonte, Mario Brega, Luigi Pistilli

From: Several Italian/Spanish/West German companies

I probably don't need to elaborate on why the movie is great, but I'll do it anyhow: 

A discussion I saw online yesterday about the Spaghetti Western genre was another reminder how I should see more of those movies. Incredible English titles like God Does Not Pay on Saturday, Have a Good Funeral, My Friend... Sartana Will Pay and Hey Amigo! A Toast to Your Death sound like must-watches for their names alone. As I rewatched the first movie in the Man With No Name trilogy, this was the perfect opportunity for another flick I hadn't watched in many years. Much to my delight it is still great.

On the surface the story may sound basic: two bounty hunters on their own decide to try and collect the huge bounty on the head of El Indio, a bandit that was just broken out of prison. The movie is a lot more than that. The bounty hunters are shown to be awesome... not just because they were Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef, but in their own ways they each collect a separate bounty on a lesser-ranked foe. Indio (Gian Maria Volonte) is shown to be a formidable foe, and also someone who is willing to do vile things as you see him get revenge on someone. All three characters are tremendous, as are the performances by the men who played them.

The most interesting aspect is that Indio carries around a pocketwatch containing a picture of a young lady and it plays a pleasant tune when open. He uses that several times for purposes of gaining an advantage, but you later discover this locket haunts him due to an event from the past, and it was a fascinating twist to show this evil person also be damaged and tormented by his past.

The movie weaves its way around the story of a plan to rob a heavily fortified bank in El Paso for a great sum of money and its aftermath; again, it's not as simple as it sounds and there are quite a few twists to the story. The sun-baked Spanish desert was a beautiful location to show scenes that were lensed quite well and there is no shortage of memorable moments involving the usage of guns (the finale and the hat-shooting scene are the two best to me), but the Morricone score is legendary, and an important cog in this machine, an important asset of making this film so beloved. As an aside, the theme to the movie was used in The Mexican, a quality tune by the 70's British band Babe Ruth. That has been covered a few times, and two red-hot versions of that are by 80's dance legend Jellybean Benitez and in the late 70's, an astounding funky disco version lasting 12 ½ (!) minutes by the group Bombers.

No matter which part of the trilogy you think is the best, all should be watched and in a vacuum, this has to be one of the tastiest dishes in the Spaghetti Western genre.

Howard The Duck!

Howard the Duck (1986)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Willard Hyuck

Starring: Lea Thompson as a HOT 80's rocker chick, Tim Robbins overacting as much as he could, Jeffrey Jones, all the actors who played Howard

From: Universal

To think that this was actually stranger than what I remembered as a kid, and I remembered it as being pretty odd. Yet I don't hate it like some do: 

Note that this viewing did not come because of one of the 70mm (!) screenings that have recently occurred. Regrettably it was the Alamo Drafthouse who put them on-I hope people heard the recent news about the gross behavior that they have allowed for years now-yet I imagine this revival screening would be quite the experience, especially with a sold-out crowd that is going quackers for the movie. I did see this more than once as a kid but the last viewing before last night had to be when I was still a kid, meaning “a long, long time ago.”

I remembered the movie was odd and as an adult I realized that Lea Thompson as an 80's rocker chick was greatly appealing (and it certainly was in the film) but wow was this strange. Howard coming from a world that is exactly like Earth except there are 3 foot tall ducks instead of humans brings up a number of questions but it's best to look at all the duck-related puns and not think much about it. Anyhow, there are jarring tonal shifts throughout, many odd bits, Howard sometimes talks like he's a detective in a 40's noir, a few performances are over the top-I am especially looking at Tim Robbins here-and it's just weird overall. I suppose that's what you get when I understand that the comic book character is existentialist and the stories are usually highly satirical. It seems like an odd fit for a movie which I have to assume was made both for kids and adults.

The most infamous aspect is the relationship between Howard and Beverly. One scene sticks out the most there, and it is rather incredible that they both flirt with each other and an interspecies romance is even teased, but she is comfortable around a 3 foot tall talking bipedal duck to be walking around her loft in just her underwear? Sure, I enjoyed the visual and yet it is one of For certain, this is not a rated PG movie by today's standards... the rating was quite different in the 1980's. There are even DUCK BOOBS in the beginning. Like I said, weird overall.

Yet the movie does have its merits. The gonzo story is never boring. Jeffrey Jones as a human being is certainly objectionable but as an actor, he delivered some quality performances and he did here with his original character and what he turned into. As George Lucas had his full support behind this, no surprise that the movie was nicely filmed and the special effects were top-notch for the time. There's a scene at a roadside diner that has several different effects and while if you look hard enough you can see a flub or two that reveals how it was done, all were compelling. It has to be said that comic book movies having overblown finales full of special effects, random stuff blowing up and huge end of the world stakes... that did not start in the 21st century. The stop-motion creature at the end was unforgettable.

While the movie has inexplicable moments such as Howard trying to get a job and ending up at a weird sex club, there are also those big dollar special effects and a great soundtrack. The score itself is fine but the soundtrack I really enjoyed. As it was done by Thomas Dolby, no surprise it's 80's-tastic, and that's a positive to me. The title song, dare I say it's legitimately great? I will, as it was co-written by both Dolby and George Clinton (!) and you hear Clinton on the album version of the track.

No surprise that something this daffy would fail upon release but have at least a small cult following. Those that complain (and from what I understand, there are strong arguments for this being the case) about Marvel movies “all being the same”, this is the polar opposite of that, even if it's to Howard the Duck's detriment. Those that find it fowl... I mean foul, I won't argue with their viewpoint. I am not even quite sure how to rate this, but I guess it's average as I mentioned many of the highlights & lowlights and I suppose they balance out to being average, even if this is a 180 from average meaning “typical”.

Counterforce

Counterforce (Escuadron) (1988)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Jose Antonio de Loma

Starring: Quite the B movie cast, as I explain below.

From: Several different companies

Why isn't this an 80's B-action movie favorite? At least it became a favorite with me, as I explain below: 

Even I-a giant movie nerd-can stumble upon a movie, or hear about something new to me because it was brought up or reviewed. The latter was the case with this film. Once I saw the cast and plot, I knew it was a must-see and it's not too terribly difficult to track down... technically I heard about it in a Rupert Pupkin Speaks article I read last March but somehow it went in one ear and out the other, despite knowing some of the cast, and what a cast it is:

Kevin Bernhardt, before he became a hotshot producer and writer
Isaac Hayes
Robert Forster
Louis Jourdan
Kabir Bedi; those two together made me chuckle as Bedi played Jourdan's bodyguard in Octopussy
George Kennedy
Andrew Stevens
Mexican star Jorge Rivero
Hugo Stiglitz

The plot: Kennedy leads a team that might as well be The A-Team except they actually kill people... they are Rivero, Stevens, Hayes and Bernhardt. They have to go to North Africa as the United States government did the sort of thing they've actually done before: meddle with another country by trying to kill Forster, who plays The Dictator (yes, that's his character's name) and he overthrew Jourdan to rule the country. Dictator things Jourdan was behind it so now his life is in jeopardy and Counterforce-who sometimes wear jumpsuits w/ matching baseball cap & the team name and their names on it!-has to protect him. Dic's nephew Bedi hires various people to try and accomplish this, including assassin Stiglitz, who wears various disguises in an attempt to do the assassination in a variety of different ways.

The description of the cast and plot is great on its own; thankfully this is cheese that is made well. It's never boring as there's plenty of action... shootouts, car chases, and even such tasks as scaling the sheer wall of a cliff-all of it is shot well. There's some hilariously over the top moments and the type of cheesy dialogue you'd expect in 80's B-action. It's a shame this is not more popular and is not on legitimate streaming sites or even better, on a Blu put out by a boutique label. Plenty of people enjoy 80's B-action and I am sure they will dig something that is legitimately entertaining and has a cast full of faces familiar to them.

Special note has to be made about Stiglitz and what he wears. When he's not in outfits that are part of his disguise, his lounge clothes are leather pants, a dark green jacket, a dark blue scarf, and a black t-shirt... #look. It isn't right away that you see the front of the shirt, but once you do, I was astounded. HUGO STIGLITZ WEARS AN IRON MAIDEN T-SHIRT is not a phrase I ever expected to type but I am incredibly happy that I can as that's what he does in Counterforce. The shirt is based on their 1985 Powerslave album, meaning it has an Egyptian motif. Speaking of music, Joel Goldsmith-yes, son of Jerry-created what may be the most 80's action film score I've ever heard, so that means I loved it.

It may be me and my sometimes peculiar tastes that I had such a good time with a random foreign action flick that is sadly forgotten, yet a good time I had.

Stander

Stander (2003)

Runtime: 111 minutes

Directed by: Bronwen Hughes

Starring: Thomas Jane, David O'Hara, Dexter Fletcher, Ashley Taylor, Deborah Kara Unger

From: Several different foreign entities

Or: when passive-aggressive behavior leads me to watching a film: 

This is another movie viewing that came about after a messageboard discussion; in this case it was someone bringing up a movie discussed before and miffed that seemingly no one else has seen it. As it is on Amazon Prime Video I figured a film which sounds like something I'd enjoy anyway should be viewed. I was correct, and I laughed at the real life scenario of a police officer investigating the bank robbery that he himself earlier committed.

It is “based on a true story” (looking it up afterwards, some things shown were true while others, not so much so; it also sanitized him... he allegedly sexually assaulted a woman and that was never covered) of how South African police officer Andre Stander-Thomas Jane-decides to rob banks with some people during the late 70's into the early 80's. The movie portrays his reasoning for doing so, which is him becoming disillusioned with Apartheid and how he had to shoot and kill some people during in Thembisa during the Soweto Uprising of 1976; that was due to Afrikaans being installed as the official language to be taught in schools. Naturally the black people were not happy as they thought their natural languages would be eradicated. They were fired upon after rocks were thrown... only after tear gas was fired upon them. Yeah, it uncomfortably reminded of the riots that have happened in recent United States cities like Ferguson and Baltimore. It was pretty chilling, especially knowing it really occurred. I have heard that Stander may not have actually be there for the incident and his bank-robbing escapades could be not so noble and instead he was just a bored dude who wanted more excitement in his life.

Regardless, as I mentioned the movie is not always accurate to what actually occurred; Stander's final fate as shown in the movie is mild compared to what actually happened, although that would have taken longer to set up and show than what the film did. As that's standard for bio-pics and the movie isn't completely filled with rubbish, I can't get all fired up about it, although as typical I imagine that books, news articles and the like are more exciting to read and are more informative anyhow. Judging the movie on its own merits, it's pretty good. The cast as a whole does a nice job, even if many of the main players actually aren't South African and I imagine some don't find that to be ideal. Thomas Jane-in the first half sporting a sweet 70's mustache-delivered the best performance as the lead; I am not sure why he did not become a bigger star, as with his talent I feel he should have had a career filled with more roles in high-profile motion pictures.

As you'd expect from a movie set in this time period, there are groovy clothes and cool old cars (such as a yellow Porsche 911 Targa) and I am typically down for such things. The score was usually pretty jazzy-funky and it fit the setting; the South African scenery usually looked pretty nice. While Andre Stander may not have quite been the noble anti-hero as portrayed here and he was enigmatic, his exploits were charming to many people in the country and I am not surprised such a tale would be made into a movie. It is a shame that woman director Bronwen Hughes hasn't done any theatrical movies since, only doing TV shows and TV movies. She probably deserves better in the same way that Thomas Jane deserved better with his career.

The Face With Two Left Feet

The Face With Two Left Feet (John Travolto... Da Un Insolito Destino) (1979)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Neri Parenti

Starring: Giuseppe Spezia, Angelo Infanti, Gloria Piedimonte, Franco Agostini, Ilona Staller

From: Laser Films

What a film this is, as I explain below: 

Oh my goodness, what a movie this is. Backstory is definitely needed. Back in 2011 the Philadelphia-based Exhumed Films (who typically do horror screenings) had a night of films in other genres, only identified beforehand by their genre. This is certainly the only example of TRAVOLTASPLOITATION; I'll explain the plot in a moment but this is so odd and strange the Philly crowd had a real gas with something that hardly anyone had heard of and I wonder how they stumbled upon such an odd Italian film. Code Red released it on disc a few years later and just recently they put it on Amazon Video-where it's only known as The Face With Two Left Feet-I discovered this last night and I had to watch it as soon as I could as I have known of this since 2011.

The plot: 6 goofball youths love to go to the local discotheque known as John's Fever (subtle); they like to razz the chef at a ritzy hotel; his name is Gianni (again, subtle). Gianni loves the DJ at the club; she's an attractive blond named Ilona. He is totally lacking in confidence so his behavior around her is embarrassing. Due to some clowning around, they realize that Gianni sans mustache and glasses looks just like John Travolta... and he does look like the Travolta of the era, down to the chin. He wears the iconic white Tony Manero leisure suit; now only if he learned to dance... It's also be nice if the gang did not pick on the buffoon desk clerk at the hotel, but at least he unwittingly had a chance to shine in the final act.

This movie is pretty weird. That does not even take into account how it's an attempt at a cash grab by having a celebrity impersonator portray someone who is supposed to look like a very popular celebrity at the time. The movie comes off like a sitcom or a cartoon (the latter especially so during the finale) with goofy humor that is only sporadically funny yet there is a straight hairdresser who acts flamboyantly gay at their job but they're actually homophobic and say some unfortunate comments. Plus, Ilona was played by Ilona Staller, i.e. Cicciolina, who did adult movies, claimed to be a spy for the Hungarian Communist Party as a teen (!), was elected to the Italian Parliament (!!) and offered to have sex with such leaders as Saddam Hussein for the sake of world peace (!!!). What a lady. Anyhow, this is greatly different from the serious Saturday Night Fever.

All in all, I can't get mad about such an oddball film. It was strangely enjoyable and I am glad I got to see such an attempt at exploiting a hot movie and celebrity to earn some dollars.

Phantom Thread

Phantom Thread (2017)

91% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 234 reviews)

Runtime: 130 minutes

Directed by: Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Vicky Krieps, Lesley Manville, Richard Graham, Camilla Rutherford

From: Focus Features

This was a movie I am glad I saw theatrically. See why below: 

As I've done the past few years, one of the two Saturdays that select AMC Theatres hold a marathon of some Best Picture Oscar nominees, I'll be there. This time, on March 3 I'll be seeing Dunkirk again, The Darkest Hour, Call Me by Your Name, The Post, and Get Out; you can expect reviews then. I won't be seeing the rest of the nominees before the ceremony-then again I never do-but this movie I heard strong things about, I do rate some of the director's movies quite high and while retirements in the entertainment or sports industries I never take too seriously, Daniel Day-Lewis has only made 9 films since '93 and as he's 60 years old, it is possible he'll never act in a movie again.

I went into the movie pretty cold; if I ever saw a trailer, it went in one ear and out the other. I just knew the basic plot of how the amusingly named Reynolds Woodcock was a fashion designer in 1950's London and he gets to know Vicky Krieps. I did see a review mention a comparison to something that I was not expecting (which was the case) but otherwise I did not know what would happen. I won't spoil things myself; I'll just mention some traits of Mr. Woodcock.

As he was someone who designed garments for high class people-including royalty-it is not a shock to hear he would be a mercurial person, someone who is not always a pleasant person to be around. Being driven and obsessed with such a job is one thing, but at times I did feel bad for Krieps' Alma character. Maybe I read too much into it and I definitely mean no offense but Woodcock has some Aspergerian traits, including having a set routine, being annoyed by certain things that probably won't enrage most others (nice sound design in those scenes expressed that quite well), and awkward social interactions.

He happens to have a sister, Cyril (Lesley Manville) and they run his fashion house. She is a rather gruff and serious person, so it was always fascinating any combination of Cyril, Alma and Reynolds interacting with each other. The plot, I've come to understand the general public is not as over the moon for it as people like us or the critics. In some ways I can understand why those aspects weren't for them, but such things as the methodical pace of the story I was fine with. The movie would have failed if the costumes were not excellent; thankfully all the outfits are, and not just what Mr. Woodcock designed. Also deserving of praise is the cinematography and Jonny Greenwood's score.


The performances of Lewis, Krieps and Manville were all tremendous, and they were a large part of why I give this movie such a high rating. This is not my favorite PT Anderson movie nor is it my favorite performance from Daniel Day-Lewis but if this is his last hurrah, Phantom Thread is a nice way to go out.

Westfront 1918

Westfront 1918 (1930)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: G.W. Pabst

Starring: Fritz Kampers, Gustav Diessl, Hans-Joachim Mobis, Claus Clausen, Jackie Monnier

From: Bavaria Film/Nero-Film AG

Here is a movie I am glad is not as obscure as it used to be: 

I rarely purchase Criterion titles as soon as they become available, but that is what I did with this movie. I've known of it for a few years now and copies are on YouTube but they are of a truncated version that's about 7 minutes shorter; as I read the original cut is the way to go, I put off the film until I could stumble upon it in its proper form. Well, I am glad Criterion released it; the picture of course looks nicer than what is on YouTube.

It was by happenstance that this came out at around the same time as All Quiet on the Western Front. Both are based on novels about German troops in World War I dealing with the savagery of trench warfare, where to gain even an inch is an achievement; life at home when they are granted leave is not good so they can't wait to return to the battlefront, and you see some of the leads die. They even have similar long tracking shots and natural sounds, resulting in eerie quiet between all the gunfire and explosions. The main difference was that Western Front came from Hollywood so they were able to have a wide scope while this came from Germany and was more intimate. I say both films are great and well worth seeing if the topic sounds of any interest to you.

To mention a modern example most people would know, the World War I battlefield as seen in Wonder Woman was accurate to how trench warfare was. It was gray and dreary, chock-full of mud and grime and smoke in the air and neither side could gain any ground; No Man's Land was a nightmare and both Western Front and this movie nailed that spot-on. It was pretty horrifying what they had to go through, all the noise and bombardment, barely having any time to sleep. Both movies are a cold slap to the face in terms of hitting you hard how chilling their experience was. Western Front was not cheery but Westfront is incredibly bleak. Aside from getting to know the characters in the first few minutes as they hang out in someone's house and a random musical/comedy interlude lasting a few minutes (it was entertainment at a camp), this motion picture is no nonsense about putting the characters through hell. Here, one soldier going home for a brief amount of time goes wrong, and home is doing badly anyway as there's a food shortage.

Yet the movie was not a miserable experience for me and I still don't feel depressed after seeing it last night. I was transfixed as I watched all that occurred. G.W. Pabst is a director that doesn't get as much attention as his contemporaries, like Fritz Lang; I am guilty of that myself as this is the first film of his I have seen; I know he made some classic silents I know I need to see; this was his first talkie. I give high marks to the Criterion release and I am happy they put out the complete version of a movie I hope more people watch and at least give a chance to.

Crocodile Dundee II

Crocodile Dundee II (1988)

Runtime: 111 minutes

Directed by: John Cornell

Starring: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon, Hechter Ubarry, Juan Fernandez

From: Paramount

Sunday night seemed like the perfect night to see a movie I last watched many years ago. The original CD I last saw in 2010 before Saturday night. Now, onto this Aussie adventure:

I realized this was the best time to watch the film, last night soon after the Super Bowl was over and everyone discovered the teasings of a new movie in this series was all just viral marketing for Australian tourism. Whether that will increase tourism to the land Down Under, I have no idea; it was neat seeing Paul Hogan as the character one more time, even if it was for only a few seconds. I watched the first two movies at least a few times when I was a kid, but this one I last saw many years ago.

The plot is not as whisper-thin as the original: there are stakes as Sue's ex-husband takes photographs of a drug dealer in Colombia killing someone, and like a dope sends them to her; they find out so they go and kidnap her. The plotting is not the strongest so I am not quite sure why Dundee doesn't want to work with the DEA on rescuing her, so he does it instead... things happen and the film moves back to Australia. It's not the type of story you want to scrutinize too hard, there's a moment of homophobia and Charles S. Dutton's Leroy Brown is as stereotypical as you'd expect a black character to be that is named Leroy Brown.

Yet I can still say it's fine. Maybe it's nostalgia, or maybe it's me being charmed by Mick and Sue. There were laughs for me throughout, the score from Peter Best was once again good and like in the first, the cinematography from Russell Boyd was quite solid. Plus it was amusing seeing how Dundee dispatched of the villain and his henchmen-including Luis Guzman-in his backyard. But the most amusing for me was the “street gang” that helps out Mick. I remembered the moment with the knife and that guy's Mohawk, and them making animal noises as a distraction.

Yet the gang itself... Kali's gang in that much-derided episode of Stranger Things' second season was more believable than these goofballs. Most of them are pretty white and look like dorks. It was probably for the best it was not an ethnic group of people as the implications would probably be pretty bad, but their lair is like a New Wave club just threw up. It is too silly for me to be grievously offended; a big help is that this was the first time I ever remembered hearing Iggy Pop's excellent version of Real Wild Child (Wild One).

Australians-especially younger ones-may roll their eyes at the Crocodile Dundee character, “That's not a knife... THAT is a knife”, and all the rest. For me, it was nice nostalgia seeing this and the original the past two nights, as it reminded me of the time when those two movies were very popular and Australia fever swept the country in the latter half of the 80's. One day I'd love to make the LONG flight to that country and spend a few weeks there. It probably won't happen so instead I'll settle for watching old films like these.

An Update

The past few days I've rewatched some movies. Those were Jurassic Park (which is still great) and Crocodile Dundee, which is still fine. By the way, I have known for awhile those Dundee trailers were part of viral marketing so the commercial during "that one football game" was not a surprise, although it was neat seeing Paul Hogan in the outfit one last time.

Hanuman And The 5 Kamen Riders

Hanuman and the 5 Kamen Riders (Hanuman Pob Har Aimoddaeng) (1974)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Sompote Sands/Shohei Tojo

Starring: Kan Boocho, Akiji Kobayashi, Tanyarat Lohanan, Yodchai Meksuwan, Pipop Pupinyo

From: Chaiyo Productions

OK there's a lot to unpack with this. I explain it all below:

As has happened before, I went down a rabbit hole because of Letterboxd; I was searching for something and stumbled upon information new to me. In this case, I looked at the filmography of Thai director Sompote Sands. Many of his film's posters: pretty outre. Examining the plots to most of his films: really outre. I mean, even weirder than what I'll describe below.

I looked at one in particular and I chortled as not only was this was an unauthorized usage of the Kamen Riders characters, but they outright stole plenty of footage from the Toei movie Five Riders vs. King Dark. Yes, they used like half of the film without Toei's authorization; I know little about those manga characters but at least it was a property I had heard of before. He also did an Ultraman movie and get this, he claims that when he was in Japan to learn about the film industry, he was one of the people who came up with that character. Most everyone says that claim is hogwash and that's been the subject of lawsuits.

Oh, and apparently some Canadians made up their own dialogue for the film and subtitled it and held some pubic screenings. The copy that's on YouTube has subtitles and skimming through it beforehand, I was not sure if that's where the subs came from, as the film is that peculiar. Turns out, it's not, although comedic lines occasionally do pop up, so that may not be a 100% accurate translation either.

I don't want to give everything away but here are the highlights:

* The movie also uses Kamen Riders' King Dark as a villain. That's a giant metal creature with devil horns and red eyes which can shrink down to human size... that element was added here. For some reason he's also cross-eyed. His henchmen are dudes dressed in all black that wear ski masks. King Dark loves drinking blood-obsession is a better term-so he gets it from young women & children. That actually is canon to the series.

* The Riders are referred to as “Ants”. I suppose they are like Ant-Man in a way...

* There are Lake Monsters; I'll admit they (Toei, I mean) were creative in creating ones that were highly bizarre. I am not sure why one of them had a crown made of green leaves, though. It should have been a crown made of flowers so the creature could have gone full Lana Del Rey while having a dragon on its shoulder that belches out smoke.

* Suddenly, we literally go to Hell, where graphic tortures are described and shown via paintings. I presume this was made for families, so yikes. Hell is shown as a spooky place where random Thai dudes (some dressed colorfully) judge people. Three criminals are being judged; they are real A-holes, not only stealing the head of a Buddha statue for some reason but also killing a kid. If you're wondering what a Hanuman is, he's a Buddhist superhero that can also change size and looks like one of those demon statutes you see outside of some Thai temples. After a The Last Jedi-esque moment, he kills the trio in increasingly gruesome ways. One of the criminals does factor into the plot later.

* There are earthquakes in Hell.

* King Dark orders the kidnapping of a professor so they can finish the building of... Franken Bat! Yes, Frankenstein's monster as a bat. Franken Bat was in Five Riders vs. King Dark.

* A fetish video happens as the professor refuses to help, so... his feet are tickled? Then the person doing the tickling gets PEED ON because of an involuntary reaction???

* BTW, one of the monsters in official canon is named Genghis Khan Condor; no, really, and we get to see him. There is also a similar creature that I'll describe as Michael Keaton as Birdman.

* It is rather obvious when they stop using the Japanese footage as the attempt at them making their own monsters... it is men who wear cheap masks of four different animals, red shorts, and that's it. Somehow, I did not think this was impressive, nor was the Thai version of the Ants. Their martial arts ability drastically went downhill; I mean, it's at Dolemite levels.

* The ending, it has a shocking bit of violence.

* At least the Thai countryside looked pretty.

What a bizarre experience this was, and from Google, the director put even weirder moments in his other films. There's one on YouTube that wasn't subtitled and I had to use Google Translate to tell me it was 1973's Tah Tien, where a frog is human sized and not only do we see it smoke a giant rolled-up cigarette, but later on some dude spies on nude women bathing in a river and he hands off his binoculars to a gorilla (only a minute later does he know it's an ape) and the primate actually uses the binoculars to look himself.

What a weird dude Sompote Sands was, in other words.

The Omen

The Omen (1976)

Runtime: 111 minutes

Directed by: Richard Donner

Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens

From: 20th Century Fox

This is one of those 70's horror movies worth seeing, as I explain below: 

Recently I purchased the old Blu set of the first three movies in the franchise (poor Omen IV: The Awakening) and the remake for a pretty cheap price. Last night seemed like a good time to check this out, although I could have waited so I could post this review on June 6 at 6 PM, an “extra” thing that this movie does by having Damien being born at June 6 at 6 AM. Yeah, Damien Thorn is just a name that sounds like this person is an evil MF'er and the score at times is bombastic with the choir chanting in Latin, but thankfully there are plenty of more subtle and nuanced moments throughout this.

The story is outrageous in that an American ambassador and his wife lose a child at childbirth so unbeknownst to his wife, Gregory Peck finds an infant from a church and it turns out to be the Antichrist. There are some big scenes where people are either maimed or killed, and those are unforgettable as at least one is over the top; I understand that 2 and 3 in this series are even more outrageous in that regard. Yet the movie does take its time in telling the story, building up suspense as you wait for Peck to finally figure out that something bizarre is going on. Perhaps he should have realized that a little sooner; then again, another character would have helped himself out by not being so obtuse so often.

Those are minor nitpicks as the film was done so well by Richard Donner. The European locations look nice and there are plenty of super wide angle shots and slow zoom-ins when the time was appropriate. The cast is nice and old pros Lee Remick and David Warner do a bang-up job. But the legendary Peck is the true highlight. It was tremendous that they got him to do this sort of film, as he's a great actor and adds the appropriate amount of gravitas to make such a tale more legitimate. That score by Jerry Goldsmith (which netted him his only Oscar) was appropriate for the film, matching what was on screen perfectly. Oh, and while there are long stretches where you don't see Damien, they did pick a child that could look creepy as hell when asked to.

Factor in the nice sound design and the film usually operating at a creepy level at worst, and this being one of the highest rated studio horror from the 70's is not a surprise to me.