Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

81% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 263 reviews)

Runtime: 145 minutes

Directed by: Wes Ball

Starring: Various motion-capture performers, Freya Allan, and a famous actor whose identity I dare not spoil

From: 20^th Century Studios

I’m happy to continue the timeline where James Franco was the downfall of humanity. It’s a joke I borrowed from Twitter & I don’t loathe him like some do (him probably trying to act smarter than he actually is… that’s another story) but regardless, I’ve at least liked most of the entries in what is now a 10 film franchise that began in 1968.

Yes, I have a list where someone can read all my reviews if they so desire. It did warm my heart a little to see many mutuals all throughout May visit or revisit the entire series before Kingdom. Undoubtedly, the whole virus aspect hits closer to home now, the ending of Rise the keystone highlight of my point.

Myself, I was cautiously optimistic about Kingdom. There was trepidation as Rise was pretty good and Dawn/War were both great… but the advancement of generations plus Wes Ball filling the director’s seat previously occupied by Matt Reeves in the past two installments gave me pause. Luckily, I did not have to go bananas that Kingdom was a disappointment, as it proved to be rather delightful instead.

The story boiled to its essence was a hero’s journey following the simian Noa who beings as a young unassuming member of a clan who through circumstances encounters (among other characters) a human lady and a self-professed king who bastardizes the lore of Caesar. The movie is patient in telling its story-OK, perhaps too much so at a time or two-but I was riveted & although it blatantly set up ideas for the sequels, the self-contained story still satisfies on its own merits. A serious story where the villain’s motivations are understandable & there’s a minimal amount of humor-what jokes were present, they typically landed-is typically an asset in my enjoyment of a movie.

When I saw Dawn, the appearances of both Keri Russell (no relation) and Gary Oldman left me flabbergasted. In Kingdom, a famous actor appears and as I know others were surprised by this person’s presence, their identity won’t be spoiled. Freya Allan as the main human character was swell; the role was more complex than you would first assume. The VFX, those that continually improved since Rise 13 years ago; that world was acutely brought to life and there was no issue in believing this world, or the remnants of the decaying human world.

Good setpieces, exciting action, a nice score from John Paesano, a story that isn’t simplified for the rubes & instead makes you think a little—if you’ve been a fan of the series since at least 2011, there’s a good chance you’ll give this film high marks also as long as your expectations aren’t sky high.

 

Braddock: Missing in Action III

Braddock: Missing in Action III (1988)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Mike Norris

Starring: Chuck Norris, Aki Aleong, Yehuda Efroni, Roland Harrah, III, Miki Kim

From: Cannon

Ahhh, the 80's... when plenty of children can be placed in plenty of (simulated) danger.

In the past I've reviewed the original Missing in Action, which is fine. The prequel second movie hasn't been watched by me-by all accounts it is bad as it wasn't meant to be a prequel but they were filmed at the same time & released the better movie first. In some circles, III is the best of the trilogy, for whatever it is worth. Golan-Globus blatantly aped the Rambo franchise, for obvious monetary reasons. It did not do that well at the box office but at home, this is silly yet enjoyable jingoistic poppycock.

There's a nice Fall of Saigon (1975) opening where Norris is about to leave Vietnam but because of circumstances, falsely believes that his Vietnamese wife passed away in gruesome fashion. It was only now that he hears that not only is she still among the living, they have a son. Despite the CIA being complete D-bags as you'd suspect in an 80's action film, he goes to Vietnam and raises some hell. Note that an entire orphanage becomes involved so we have Chuck attempting to rescue them and a priest from a comically evil Vietnamese army. In fact, it was easy to root for a hero trying to rescue a few dozen children from vile people that wish to do them harm.

The film is silly nonsense where more than once I wondered if there were entire scenes missing. Be that as it may, if you enjoy goofy B-movies where Chuck Norris wrecks dudes, want to see him cosplay as Rambo, and witness MANY explosions, this may be one that the B-action movie fans will dig. You may be horrified by 2024 standards that Chuck's 12 year old son is punched in the face more than once, a gun is pointed at him & the heels literally attempt to blow up dozens of children—me, I am bemused at what seemed to be normal back then. There's even a sexual assault... then an astounding comeuppance for the SOB that committed the act.

The Woman in Green

The Woman in Green (1945)

Runtime: A brisk 68 minutes

Directed by: Roy William Neill

Starring: Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce, Hillary Brooke, Henry Daniell, Paul Cavangah

From: Universal

Viewing a classic mystery film was a nice change of pace; the brisk 68-minute runtime was also a plus for last night. Last summer I viewed 1939’s The Hound of the Baskervilles-starring Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Watson-back when the series began at 20th Century Fox. In the 40’s, they moved to Universal where the setting moved from the 19th century to the 1940’s.

I was curious; the reason why I chose this when many of those films can be found for free on YouTube: the cool title + the plot revolving around the distinctive detail of young women murdered… and one digit was severed on each occasion. Is Moriarity involved… despite him (or someone allegedly to be him) having been hung at the gallows? In case it wasn’t evident, aside from two small details taken from two Holmes stories that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote, this was an entirely original tale.

From reviews my mutuals wrote, those Universal movies all seemed rather similar & rote. As I can’t verify this myself, the film will be rated on its own merits. It was rather enjoyable, due in part to Rathbone and Bruce as the lead duo. So it the macabre detail where severed fingers are carried around in pockets. It was a fun mystery and while there’s the bizarre statement from Watson someone 14 stone “shouldn’t own birds” because they are too heavily to properly feed them without possible accidental death (?!?!) overall there was no regrets in seeing more Sherlock on screen, not to mention Rathbone & Bruce. That fatphobic moment wasn’t ideal but at least Watson was properly humiliated in a hilarious scene I dare not spoil.

Dementia 13

Dementia 13 (1963)

Runtime: 75 minutes

Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

Starring: William Campbell, Luana Anders, Bart Patton, Mary Mitchel, Patrick Magee

From: AIP

RIP Roger Corman

Like everyone else (well, except Paul Schrader but that’s not dwell on that) I was saddened to hear that he passed away at the age of 98. The fact that less than 6 weeks ago he was at that private screening of Coppola’s Megalopolis where Francis Ford was attempting to find distribution for his movie made the news surprising when I saw interviews w/ him in recent years and he was rather spry for his age. It is incalculable the impact he had on more than one generation of Hollywood with the number of legends & names who worked for him… everyone from Coppola, Jack Nicholson & De Niro to James Cameron, Bogdanovich and Jonathan Demme. It’s a shame that even with Hollywood’s numerous differences since the 60’s and 70’s, there’s no producer like Corman who can help nurture young talent to pay their dues before they made films with the big studios.

Out of all the films I could have chosen, Dementia 13 was chosen not just as an example of him giving Francis Ford a big break but it’s a film I had previously seen years before joining Letterboxd. Coppola worked for Corman for awhile and was in Ireland to assist in his directing 1963’s The Young Racers. Roger was famous for not wasting a nickel during production and was happy to make more than one movie with many if not all of the same set, actors & crew. Corman had money left over from The Young Racers and tasked FFC with creating a Psycho riff. With only a few days, a script was written and while there is stilted dialogue, the overall effort was still a fine 75-minute feature.

Louise is with her husband John in a rowboat. He has a bad heart so he dies of a heart attack after a dispute over his mother’s will. As Louise won’t receive a nickel if he dies first--she forges a letter saying he can’t make it to the annual ceremony of his young sister’s death at a castle in Ireland. She attends and has a scheme to acquire the family fortune but what misfortune that someone with an axe is about…

If given more time, Dementia 13 stood a satisfactory chance of being a better movie. As is, even as a rushed movie where some plot beats suddenly materialized, the movie had decent Gothic atmosphere (filming at an actual Irish castle was an asset) and I was engaged w/ the story, as predictable as it was in my opinion. For the record, I saw the original 75-minute cut that played in places like drive-ins across the United States rather than the shorter director’s cut that Coppola created (as he’s wont to do) several years ago.

Since I’ve been on Letterboxd I’ve viewed more than a few productions that involved Corman, whether it be as director or producer. I’ll be happy to do the same in the future. I do feel bad for Coppola that he loses the man who brought him into the industry soon after his wife (who apparently he met on the set of this film) dies. Also expect some FFC reviews later in the year, including hopefully Megalopolis.

Don't Look Now

Don’t Look Now (1973)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Nicolas Roeg

Starring: Donald Sutherland, Julie Christie, Clelia Matania, Massimo Serato, Hilary Mason

From: Paramount released it in the United States

What, don’t YOU sketch in the nude?

Not only was it overdue for me to discuss this famous 70’s thriller, but to talk about Nicolas Roeg as a director for the first time. He didn’t make that many yet many are easy to track down—for certain, in the future some others will be discussed. For Don’t Look Now, a key aspect is the at times unique editing which helps drive the story & assuredly augments the original Daphne Du Maurier story this was based on, along with the obvious motifs of water & the color red.

This was done as the opening is the daughter of Donald Sutherland & Julie Christie passes away in a tragic accident by drowning in a pond while wearing a distinctive red jacket. Besides the obvious of the movie moving from England to a city famed for its canals so he can work on restoring an old church, Sutherland sees a small girl wearing a similar jacket around Venice as his wife meets a pair of twin sisters-because this was partially an Italian genre production from the 70’s, OF COURSE one of the sisters is blind, and of course she’s psychic-causing an escalation of bizarre moments and strange images that Sutherland witnesses.

The film is a meditation on grief expressed through various motifs and recurring moments as the lead couple struggle to maintain their relationship despite still having a healthy son. Venice was successfully presented as an alien world to the lead couple, one where the locals commonly stare at them and as a viewer, unless you speak Italian we are kept in the dark as those aren’t translated. A relative went to Venice and noted that “the city smelled terrible” and “there was constant flooding.” I can’t verify those statements and if it was true then hopefully the city has improved… in any case, the city was presented quite well—many different locations seen throughout.

Mix in a quality Pino Donaggio score and this is a movie that people should stick with even if they feel it lags at times or you’re befuddled as to the plot. Once the great conclusion is seen, everything comes together and there’s an explanation of sorts for the peculiar moments. Both Sutherland and Christie deserve praise for their excellent performances, as does Roeg for his solid direction. At least I finally got around to discussing this piece of work and a movie from the famed director.

By the by, there is a random moment where Ol’ Donald starts sketching after getting out of the shower without putting any clothes on, leading to an awkward moment w/ the maid. I don’t sketch myself; even if I did, it wouldn’t be when I was naked!

Who Saw Her Die?

Who Saw Her Die? (Chi I’ha Vista Morire?) (1972)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Aldo Lado

Starring: George Lazenby, Anita Strindberg, Adolfo Celi, Dominique Boschero, Peter Chatel

From: Several different production companies

Featuring Not Timothee Chalamet

There’s plenty of giallo for me to possibly view in the future. The reason why this was selected? It has some story beats which will remind you of a thriller quite famous: a little girl is shown dead in the opening, drowning is involved, the setting is Venice. Lest you think this is a B-movie ripoff of that film (which I haven’t reviewed… yet), this came out first. It may be a case that this was also based on the same Daphne Du Maurier short story, but let me not get sidetracked.

Who’s plot: George Lazenby (w/ great mustache) lives in Venice; his daughter Roberta visits him from London but estranged wife Elizabeth doesn’t come along. They visit several characters which will eventually become red herrings after Roberta is murdered by yes, someone wearing black gloves. Elizabeth comes down and she is dragged into her husband’s attempt at investigating this crime. The guy I call Not Timothee Chalamet is a minor character who has limited screentime and only one scene of note, but his appearance did amuse me.

The plot meanders at times due to a lack of momentum. Otherwise, this was a fine giallo effort which has some blood and plenty of sleaze; besides a sex scene soon after the death of their daughter, there’s a key character accused of pedophilia and another exhibits creepy behavior towards Roberta at one point. Even if you exclude the whole child murder aspect, there are affairs, bad rich dudes, even badder behavior… this is all done in a Venetian setting that was sometimes covered in fog, leading to nice atmosphere.

A huge asset for the film was the Morricone score; the keystone there was a child’s choir, but it wasn’t always used to create angelic music. Instead, it at times was used in odd, unexpected ways to create something bizarre & unnerving for your ears that augments the actions on screen. Thankfully, it’s on YouTube for those curious, as the score is pretty wild. For better or worse, the denouement was undoubtedly one you’d find in a giallo. In fact, without remember specific examples, it does resemble at least one other I’ve heard in a genre I’ve only seen a small amount of.

Does this work as the B-movie in a double feature at home, following Don’t Look Now? Yes it does; naturally, this movie isn’t as mature or contemplative as Roeg’s classic but it is one many genre fans can dig.

 

Airplane!

Airplane! (1980)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: The ZAZ trio

Starring: Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges

From: Paramount

Surely you can't be serious in saying you don't even remember the last time you saw this in full?

I am... and don't call me Shirley.

Quite simply, when I discovered last night that this movie was on Prime (& it could be seen free for me as a Prime member) the choice was easy for me.

By now many people have the foreknowledge of Airplane's plot. It spoofs the Airport disaster movies of the 70's-which I've viewed-along with closely following the plot of 1957's Zero Hour, which I haven't seen for comparison's sake. Unlike what happened to spoof comedies a few decades ago, this is not predicated on then-modern humor (for the most part) for its gags. Rather, the humor is full of silly puns involving names, sight gags, running gags revisited occasionally, wordplay, etc.

Also, there was more off-color humor than what was in my memory banks. Not all of my Letterboxd mutuals enjoyed that aspect, which is fair. There's a pun involving a woman inflating the automatic pilot (those unfamiliar w/ the movie, it makes sense in context!) which looks incredibly vulgar from behind, Peter Graves plays a pilot who implies he likes little boys, a little girl “likes black men”, etc. Personally, it's too silly for me personally to be offended. Jerry Seinfeld says that comedy now is “too woke” and I'd rather not go down that path... except to say that no matter your opinion on the topic, the subsequent release of his big Netflix movie flopping hard in terms of general reception did not help his cause.

In any regard, even if you've never seen Airplane it is likely you've heard some of his most famous phrases/moments that have entered the lexicon. From old white lady Barbara Billingsley talking jive and “I've picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue” to Otto the blowup doll automatic pilot and many others, it's quite the feat that the movie has soared since 1980 when before release it was just seen as a silly little comedy no one had expectations for. They were able to hire familiar faces known for drama who never winked at the camera while they acted serious in increasingly absurd situations.

As I believe that modern comedy in general is pretty terrible-no matter the reasons why this may be the case-it is a relief that Airplane for the most part hasn't aged poorly.

Mars Express

Mars Express (2023)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Jeremie Perin

Starring: This animated film from France was dubbed in English

From: A shocking number of French companies

I was happy to see a mature sci-fi animated film on the silver screen last night. Sure, this French movie received a halfway-decent theatrical release in the United States due to the lack of movies made last year and the version GKIDS put out is dubbed in English, but I can’t complain. Despite GKIDS releasing the film, there are several F-bombs and other cursing, so that alone is why I proclaim it is mature.

Going into the film, little was known of its plot; I’ll attempt to be on the vague side myself. In the year 2200, a detective and her android partner (one of several different robots that exist. There are synthetics which can hold the soul of someone after they pass away) investigate the disappearance of two college students from Alan Turing University-an amusing reference-but it naturally is much more complicated. There’s a conspiracy involving a powerful person and believe it or not, Mars Express is a neo-noir sci-fi picture. To answer a burning question: yes, AI is a plot component. The protagonist is a flawed character who fights to stay sober on a daily basis. That is not the only aspect which (figuratively) colors this movie a little darkly.

The animation looked nice, the dubbing was satisfactory & the swell score was appropriately electronic. However, it was the interesting characters and the complex, thought-provoking story which was the biggest delight. The plot slowly unfurled in a dome world obviously modeled on the Los Angeles area and I was always at rapt attention viewing the leads attempt to discover why some robots are exhibiting unusual behavior. The movie is reminiscent of a few other properties, as people have noted. Ghost in the Shell was an obvious example, as was Blade Runner. There even is a 2001 moment, as I deem it.

That said, Mars Express never felt derivative, telling a worthy tell in only 88 minutes, including end credits. It was a treat seeing a movie like this theatrically. Perhaps in the future I’ll view more mature animated movies, including those in the science fiction genre.

 

The Rats are Coming! The Werewolves are Here!

The Rats are Coming! The Werewolves are Here! (1972)

Runtime: 92 of the longest minutes of my life

“Directed by”: Andy Milligan

“Starring”: A bunch of performers who I’ll save the embarrassment of naming

From: Constitution Films

A movie I only saw due to its title; it’s also my first (& last) Andy Milligan movie. For years I’ve known Milligan was an infamous British exploitation director. Those in that field can create interesting schlock… or insufferable garbage. Sadly, for me I don’t get the love that some have for this; it’s a shame as the general idea wasn’t terrible.

There’s a family of werewolves and the youngest daughter wishes to find a way to end this curse. That’s about as in-depth as the story is presented here. Much of this is just flat-out boring as it’s crummy actors either constantly yelling at each other or just prattling on about nonsense I couldn’t be arsed to care about. Milligan decided to write acres upon acres of dialogue for these unexperienced chaps to babble about; it’s just bad.

Hardly any horror is present, unless you consider the animal cruelty to be horrifying. It’s just amateur crap, technically inept… most of this “affluent” family wears just one outfit despite the passage of days. Literally, the scenes with the rats were added a few years after the majority of the film was in the can due to the popularity of Willard, no kidding. When I wasn’t annoyed, this cure for insomnia had me nearly doze off into slumberland.

Instead of diving deeper into the filmmaker’s filmography in an attempt to determine why he has a small cult of fans, I’ll punt and not concern myself as there are MANY other directors to explore, let alone great motion pictures I still need to witness.

Gaslight (The 1940 Version)

Gaslight (1940)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Thorold Dickinson

Starring: Anton Wahlbrook, Diana Wynyard, Frank Pettingell, Cathleen Cordell, Robert Newton

From: British National

A movie to watch if you’re a fan of the 1944 Gaslight; I am a fan of both. I won’t do much comparing between the two except to mention some basics. As I stated a few years ago when reviewing the more famous MGM version, it’s incredible how “gaslighting” as entered the lexicon while probably even now, plenty are unaware of its origins. The 1940 British movie was the first to bring the play to the silver screen; despite MGM’s best efforts to destroy all copies of this so there’d be no comparisons to their 1944 picture, that task failed and this movie can easily be viewed… for me this was DVR’ed off a TCM showing way back last October.

Those familiar with the American movie will know that the lead girl moves into the house that her aunt was murdered in w/ her husband, only the husband is an evil bastard who for a diabolical reason is mentally abusing his wife for the purpose of driving him insane. There’s a former detective who starts investigating as he was part of the investigation into the aunt’s death. The 1940 movie was less glossy and grittier than the MGM version; it is also a half hour shorter. Which version you prefer is up to personal opinion. 

I enjoy both for their different qualities—although there is the bias of me having seen this second. In any regard, the villain here (named Paul, played by Anton Wahlbrook) was a real vile SOB; besides his gaslighting, he openly dated one of his maids. As the film has nice atmosphere, solid direction from Thorold Dickinson and nice turns from Diana Wynyard as lead girl Bella & Frank Pettingell as B.G. Rough the former detective, that helped make this movie delightful. B.G. was quite amusing: he was quite different from Joseph Cotten in the ’44 version in appearance/demeanor. He was an average middle-aged chap in any fashion, including his charmingly braggart attitude; at one point he proclaims how great he was! That was after a big moment that cracked the case…

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Charles Band

Starring: Jeffrey Byron, Michael Preston, Kelly Preston (no relation), Tim Thomerson, Richard Moll

From: Universal!

I watched this for a specific reason… which I can’t elaborate on. It wasn’t even something I saw-rather, it was what I heard via Twitter. By now, some will know the exact reason why it was topical to finally see a movie I first heard of years ago—not to mention be amused that the film’s tagline is “It’s high noon at the end of the universe.” The movie was originally released in 3D but the print I saw-requiring a trip to The Bowels of the Internet as for some reason it can’t be streamed legally nor on YouTube-was in 2D.

The general idea sounded promising. This is a Space-Western where it might as well be a post-apocalyptic tale as our hero travels to a rocky planet to take out an evil warlord who is attempting to fool the locals into slavery for the purpose of acquiring their precious crystals… meanwhile, Kelly Preston (! This was one of her first roles) tags along as an SOB w/ a metal arm killed her father. However, in execution the movie drags from the very beginning and lead Dogen (what a name) is a rather blank character. Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll play personalities quite a bit more memorable but those are just supporting roles.

There is B-movie charm that naturally comes from a Charles Band production and the action isn’t shabby—there’s explosions, lasers, magical green goo, a vehicle best described as a 1980’s version of a Cybertruck… however, the exciting, thrilling moments only come sporadically and the film is not something I ever need to experience again. That said, the nostalgic love that some have is understandable if it was a childhood favorite; Scream Factory does have it on Blu and I am sure they did a swell job. Personally, when it comes to ripoffs of Mad Max-or more specifically, The Road Warrior-I’d much rather check out Italian nonsense like 1990: The Bronx Warriors.

 

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Runtime: 112 minutes

Directed by: Rob Cohen

Starring: Brendan Fraser, unfortunately not Rachel Weisz, Maria Bello (who shouldn't have been put in this position), and the squandered talents of Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh

From: Universal

Someone naming their nightclub after a villain they’ve dealt with twice and traumatized them… an example that exemplifies what is wrong with this movie. Before last night I had never viewed Emperor; I don’t stand Rachel Weisz but I thought it unfortunate her role was now played by someone else when she and Brendan Fraser worked quite well together and those characters were so charming together. The little detail that most of the buzz I heard in ’08 was negative was the bigger reason. Be that as it may, Emperor I’ve had on physical media for awhile and as I’ve talked all the preceding movies—somehow this was worse than expected.

After a long opening where we discover this has a rather similar setup to the 1999 Mummy, it became quickly apparent that the main characters are just lame. Rick and Evelyn are tired dorks who in the case of the former struggles w/ retirement while the latter is a novelist who has writer’s block. Worse, Evy (or Evie; I’ve seen both) just doesn’t act the same as before. I’ve never had any problem with Maria Bello before; however, her as an American playing a Brit who is just lame… while watching the movie I wondered if Weisz turned this down because she read the script; apparently, that was the main reason! She also just became a mom so that’s a good reason to bow out but I don’t blame her for thinking the general idea of this story was just lousy.

As they jumped in time to 1946, their child Alex is now an adult, who for some reason now sports an American accent; he became an archaeologist who doesn’t get along with Mom & Dad any longer… frankly, who wants to see those characters bickering with each other? I didn’t. It was impossible for me to get on board with the plot; thus, when the ridiculous then the totally preposterous moments were introduced into the story, it was impossible for me to care & thus I became bored of this nonsense.

As interesting as the China setting was (including the Shanghai of the time), overall the movie was just rotten. Besides the issues already mentioned, the humor only rarely lands, the action became more overblown while filmed poorly-to think I was actually begging for the competency of a Stephen Sommers-where the talents of Jet Li and (especially) Michelle Yeoh was misused… in hindsight, unless it was imperative to inform everyone that this movie reeks for the first-time viewer and likely does if you’ve tackled it before, or you want to see Wu Jing in a small part years before he became a superstar in the Pacific Rim Asian region, it’s best to not bother with Tomb.

 

I Still Think The Scorpion King is Fine

I talked about this 2002 movie long ago; my new thoughts are below: 

In my first of two reviews today, I revisited a film I don’t think is that bad. This movie needed a longer review than what I originally posted in 2013--plus it is now easy to compare them to The Mummy movies. This admission can be made immediately: the movie is really stupid; I mean, stump-dumb! The first time I saw the movie, that was seen as a total negative. The last time before last night, I accepted this was what they were going for, in a Golan-Globus sort of fashion. After all, the cast includes Al Leong, Branscombe Richmond, Ralf Moeller and Nils Allen Stewart 

It's a stock-standard story where there’s an evil heel-aided by a sorceress-a turncoat, a heel turned ally, odious comic relief, a kid character, etc. Conan the Barbarian, this isn’t. Yet, unlike in The Mummy Returns, Dwayne Johnson had more than a cameo & proved he could at least lead a dopey B-movie sword and sandal picture. The faults are easy to note (the exact setting is in question, and that’s only partially because there are multiple ethnicities present) but a film like this is preferable to a good number of the “modern movies” we get, IMO.

While there was more bad CG (a hallmark of the franchise, I’ve come to learn), the exotic locations, basic camaraderie, fine action and general goofiness make this an easy watch. A fine score and competent direction from veteran Chuck Russell-no relation-made this a fine experience which doesn’t have the charm of the first two Mummy pictures but at least proved The Rock could have a role in Hollywood. Somehow this spawned FOUR sequels for the direct to video market. As curious as I am to see sequels to a spinoff to a sequel to a remake…

The Mummy Returns

The Mummy Returns (2001)

Runtime: 130 minutes

Directed by: Stephen Sommers

Starring: The main players from the first, plus The Rock

From: Universal

This movie was utter nonsense… albeit, enjoyable, pulpy nonsense. It hadn’t been seen in ages but there was no memory of just how preposterous it got. Of course, the dominant memory for all these years was… yes, the giant scorpion in the room, i.e. THAT special effect. When it’s still known now for being one of the worst ever seen-holy cow, it’s still atrocious now-that will happen. Then again, a large portion of the CG in general has aged like moldy cheese. According to hearsay, the effects were REALLY rushed due to Universal rushing the film to the big screen; that isn’t hard to believe.

Perhaps I’m a little generous in my rating; after all, it is much sillier and OOT than even the first Mummy movie from ’99. You really don’t want to scrutinize this plot which literally revives Imhotep and introduces The Scorpion King… who is only in the beginning and the end of the film. At the time, I never could have predicted The Rock would be a huge movie star for a time. To the movie’s benefit, for being over 2 hours it moves relatively quickly so boredom was at a minimum. Such details as heroic Arabic character Ardeth Bay still kicking ass is appreciated, as is the fight between Rachel Weisz and Patrica Velasquez requiring no stunt doubles (although Lord was there some obvious computer effects) as both performers trained months to do it themselves. So is a precocious child character (the lead’s son) who aside from a few scenes wasn’t that irritating.

The laughs (Jonathan was an improvement over the first, & he was fine in that), mild horror scares and my enjoyment of both the lead characters & ones making their debut-I had no memory of seeing a young Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje-meant that for all the movie’s faults, it still is more delightful to me than most modern blockbusters. I can roll with such ideas as Evelyn the librarian suddenly morphing into an action heroine (the retconning, not so much) when it’s an inoffensive Indiana Jones pastiche.

 

The Mummy (The Brendan Fraser Movie)

The Mummy (1999)

Runtime: 124 minutes

Directed by: Stephen Sommers

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr

From: Universal

I do wish they still made blockbusters like this. Admittedly, you’ll get stuck in quicksand if you ponder the plot too much (it isn’t always the most logical) but overall it still is fun, light entertainment where the leads are all easy to support and notwithstanding the aged CGI, the action beats mostly deliver. I had only seen The Mummy Returns theatrically so getting to see the first film on the big screen was an opportunity worth taking. 

Another admission is that somewhere in the multiverse are early 90’s versions of The Mummy involving some combination of George A. Romero, John Sayles, Joe Dante, Clive Barker, and Mick Garris; all were attached at one point. Stephen Sommers isn’t usually someone I love but making this an adventure in the 1920’s w/ horror elements as a nod to Indiana Jones… that worked in this case. I had no memory of the Jerry Goldsmith score; as typical, it was a quality score from him.

For those that are against “grave robbing” of artifacts from ancient minority cultures by dumb white people… you’ll be amused that they caused the resurrection of Imhotep, a high priest who once acquiring full power is set to rule the world alongside his gal that he has to resurrect himself. Native Egyptians are part of the crew that attempts to stop Imhotep; it is wacky that Rachel Weisz was supposed to be half-Egyptian yet that was ultimately meaningless when it came to enjoying the film. The cliché of a romantic couple who began the story as antagonistic towards each other seems to be around since the time of King Tut; how effective each is of course is rated on a case-by-case basis.

Thankfully, Brendan Fraser was delightful as rough around the edges Rick while Weisz as Evelyn wasn’t just a damsel in distress and thankfully wasn’t a Mary Sue either. This featured quite a few characters (whether in support of the lead or as foils) and the movie did a decent job juggling all those balls and unlike what we get too often now, The Mummy isn’t afraid to kill characters. As an Indiana Jones pastiche*, The Mummy still thrills; it does make me sad that Mom passed away a few years ago—she would have been excited to hear I saw something she really liked on the big screen. Pretty soon, I’ll discuss the other two movies in the franchise; ironically, before yesterday I actually remembered more about The Mummy Returns than the OG picture… and not just THAT all-time terrible CG effect. The sequels should give me plenty to discuss.

• Which I’d rather watch again than probably Crystal Skull and doubtlessly, Dial of Destiny.

Charlie Chan at the Opera

Charlie Chan at the Opera (1936)

Runtime: 68 minutes

Directed by: H. Bruce Humberstone

Starring: Warner Oland, Boris Karloff, William Demarest, Keye Luke, Charlotte Henry

From: 20^th Century Fox

Featuring the 1930’s version of the fax machine.

After a much-needed day off from watching motion pictures on Tuesday, last night was spent on YouTube viewing a channel’s stream of a custom-made double feature of this film plus Charlie Chan on Broadway; only the former was seen by me. In 2014 I saw In London and In Paris then in ’22 was at the Olympics—those are my only Charlie Chan pictures. One day I need to check out the entries starring another white guy cosplaying as a Chinaman in Sidney Toler. The three movies I just mentioned were all fine as light mysteries filled with stereotypical yet cute “Eastern sayings” and decent supporting casts.

This is a notch above those, and not just for the bonus of having Boris Karloff as a “madman” w/ amnesia who escapes a sanitarium and makes his way to the titular opera. It was an interesting case that was more complex than it first appears-there’s other drama at the opera house. This includes a love triangle and a mother who refuses to acknowledge her own daughter. There’s even a racist cop who is present at the opera—he loves calling Chan “Chop Suey” and “Egg Foo Young”; in a Blazing Saddles sort of fashion, this cop is humiliated and embarrassed due to his prejudices as Charlie constantly shows him up.

For a random B-movie, 20th Century Fox somewhat surprisingly shelled out the cash for famed composer Oscar Levant to create an entire opera for the movie. For those that like that sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they’ll like. Seeing operatic singing come out of the mouth of Karloff was in fact rather wild. Although, the wildest to me was witnessing the 1930’s version of the fax machine. An explanation was thankfully given for how a photo of Karloff was put on a cylinder that spun real fast & via electrical impulses, was transmitted from Chicago. A bonus to learn something new this week, it was.

Interesting characters plus a compelling mystery made me comprehend why experts say this was the best movie that featured Warner Oland as Charlie Chan.