Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure

Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure (Chi Trova Un Amico Trova Un Tesoro) (1981)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Sergio Corbucci

Starring: Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, John Fujioka, Louise Bennett, Sal Borgese

From: A few different Italian and American companies

A movie I mainly selected due to its title. In the past I’ve viewed a few different Terence Hill/Bud Spencer pictures. Those around the world (a large percentage of my mutuals aren’t from America) may be surprised that the duo and their movies don’t really have a cultural footprint in the United States, unlike in Europe and elsewhere. What I’ve seen was incredibly silly yet still amusing so once in a blue moon I’ll be happy to check out something else involving that heralded duo.

This was one of the MANY Italian productions of the time that filmed around Miami, Florida. The scenario that brought the pair together this time: Hill was a gambler who screwed over some gangster types after a bad bet at the horse races while Spencer is an actor sailing around the world to plug marmalade… he soon then tosses said marmalade over the ship as it tastes like slop. How lucky then that Hill is a stowaway on the boat—he was given a treasure map out of a Lucky Charms box (why not?) by his uncle.

Turns out, it is World War II treasure on a Pacific island-the setting the movie isn’t Florida-and besides the stereotypical natives who tended to speak gibberish (progressive, the movie ain’t), there’s also a Japanese soldier who doesn’t know World War II is over… yes, there were several holdouts from World War II but Hiroo Onoda was the most famous. He wasn’t convinced until 1974 and an explorer found him that the war ended in 1945. The movie’s Kamasuka was rather clearly based on Onoda.

There are also pirates; they steal some of the natives for usage on their ships. How those pirates were portrayed was rather… ahem, curious. It may sound like a gag when I explain that the pirates were dressed as if they stepped off the set of Cruising, but it’s true! The exact same black leather outfits that were shown by patrons of the Ramrod; WHY this was done aside from making the audience think, “Oh, they’re gay pirates!” I have no explanation. As the natives on the island are also crude caricatures, the movie hasn’t aged all that well.

Be that as it may, the movie is exactly what you’d expect from the Hill/Spencer duo: silly comedy, an indestructible Spencer beating everyone up, OOT villains, a catchy score like only the Italians could do, beans eaten... It isn’t the favorite I’ve seen from the duo (and it is awkward how the movie opens HARD on Hill’s uncle mentioning the treasure without any opening credits, title card, or even an establishing shot) but was still fine as nonsense which still had some stellar gags… plus those gay pirates!

 

Spider-Man 2

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Runtime: 127 minutes

Directed by: Sam Raimi

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina, James Franco, J.K. Simmons

From: Columbia

Seeing the movie for the first time on the big screen was rather delightful. What I mean is: it had never been watched by me before last night, as shocking as that admission will be for many. It’s my ambivalence towards comic book movies in general (and yes, comic books), not a dislike for Marvel or preferring DC instead. Yet, this is the most beloved Spider-Man movie-live action, that is-and the source for several memes. As I returned to Disney Springs and the same large auditorium as last Wednesday for the first Spider-Man, even more people attended; the hottest ticket in town, it was.

Right away, I can admit that there was more “comic book silliness” present, for better and for worse. Another science experiment gone wrong creates another supervillain? I could really be pedantic about some things… I’d feel grumpier than J. Jonah Jameson by doing so, so better not. Instead, all the positives. It was quite easy to root for Peter Parker, what with him being put through the wringer in the first half: struggling with his busy workload, unable to pay the rent, his faltering powers, etc. When there was humor not all of it landed but it wasn’t dreadful & constant like what started in the MCU and from what little I’ve seen, infected the DC Universe also. It was nice to see Peter seriously deal with his problems and in the standout dramatic scene, reveal an important bit of information to Aunt May that he’s bottled up for the past two years.

Doc Ock wasn’t seen as often as expected; that was OK as Parker’s drama kept me invested (you could say the film... spun a web that ensnared me) and the heel did shine when on screen. One of the most memorable scenes involved Ock; yes, it was when Raimi flexed his horror muscles. As the performances, score, and overall spectacle were all improved, I understand why Spider-Man 2 is so beloved when in addition Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst were great as Peter and Mary Jane. During the final act, all the moments that you’d expect to get applause received just that from my audience; this includes “the big kiss” and the cameo from a guy who I learned from reviews of the previous film is a DILF to some!

How much further I’ll go on the journey of Sony showing all their Spider-Man spectaculars… that is uncertain as of now. I imagine Spider-Man 3 would be a hoot for a variety of reasons but even the decision to see that next week is unresolved in my mind. Today, I am delighted that Spider-Man 2 wasn’t a letdown.

All Dogs Go to Heaven

All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Don Bluth

Starring: Various famous voices, including Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Vic Tayback and Charles Nelson Reilly

From: United Artists

A movie I only saw once, and theatrically… 35 years ago. As a child of the 80’s and 90’s it was natural that some (but not all) of Don Bluth’s films were viewed. Recently I realized that none of his movies had ever been experienced by me as an adult. Mainly due to it being on Prime-meaning free for me as a Prime member-and the bonus that there was the theatrical experience at the age of 8 made it an easy choice. Of course, the fact that it was never rented by me subsequently is a sign that I wasn’t a fan back then. The exact reasons why are lost to the sands of time; why I didn’t like it now, that can be articulated.

There was only a few faint memories of Dogs in the ensuing 35 years; the 1939 Louisiana setting was a surprise in of itself. Charlie B. Barkin and Itchy Itchiford-no, these are real names-break out of prison; unbeknownst to them, their business partner CARFACE (a reference I did not get when I was 8) who runs a gambling palace. Car arranges for Charlie’s death but in Heaven he steals his celestial pocket watch-a phrase you’ll never see me use again; at least it’s a logical metaphor-and returns to Earth for revenge. I recalled nothing of that plot point, nor the plot point that they meet Anne-Marie, an orphan girl who can talk to animals and the info she hears is used for betting on sporting events involving said animals.

It is weird/dark when the plot is explained to you; the dark aspect didn’t bother me now and likely didn’t back in 1989. What bothered me in 2024: both Charlie and Itchy treat adorable Anne-Marie quite poorly, and for far too long. I’ll be doggone if I can enjoy the two protagonists act like total A-holes. There are several songs, most of which had lyrics best described as “poor pastiches of Broadway tunes” & the plot at times left me befuddled. Once Charlie returns to Earth, he proclaims that he wants to lay low as no one knows he isn’t deceased and he can get sweet, sweet revenge. This is done by… being seen out in public while earning money from gambling then opening a competing club known as… Charlie’s Place?! 

Then, there’s the Big Lipped Alligator Moment, a trope named after a particular scene from this movie—the people who coined the phrase I’m not a fan of AND it shouldn’t have been named after the bizarre musical number involving a random reptile as the alligator does appear later but it’s a character shoehorned in just for a convenient save and it’s a phenomenon that happens sometime in cinema.

There are compliments that can be granted, including the lovely animation throughout. It was a fine voice cast with various familiar names, led by Burt Reynolds & Dom DeLuise. I did laugh that the canine voiced by Charles Nelson Reilly wore a pair of Charles Nelson Reilly glasses. Judith Barsi voice Anne-Marie; it was a posthumous role and the reason why she passed away at the age of 10: too tragic for me to mention here. The score itself was at least fine.

Even if I don’t have the nostalgic love for the movie that many do, I’ll still give credit to Bluth for breaking away from Disney during its moribund days and finding success on his own. It has even been argued that this success in the 80’s led to Disney getting its act together and led to the Disney Renaissance. Perhaps, as he was the biggest competitor and for certain I know Miyazaki’s rise also was an influence. Heck, starting with The Little Mermaid there were several Broadway-like tunes included per film… in the future, I’ll review more Bluth movies & hopefully give them more flattering reviews.

King Solomon's Mines (The 30's Version)

King Solomon’s Mines (1937)

Runtime: 80 minutes

Directed by: Robert Stevenson… and Geoffrey Barkas

Starring: Paul Robeson, Cedric Hardwicke, Roland Young, John Loder, Anna Lee

From: Gaumont British Picture Corporation

I’m fulfilling requests here and clearing space off the DVR. Last summer I saw and reviewed the 1950 King Solomon’s Mines, which was a favorite of my late mother. It was a tale I enjoyed; long before that I saw the cheesy movie of the same name from the 80’s which I didn’t enjoy as much. More than one person brought this up as a movie to see; in addition, the film starring the great Black entertainer Paul Robeson was another draw, so when this played on TCM a few weeks ago, it was recorded. By my standards of waiting months to year to watch something I’m in possession of or recorded… I wasted nary a minute.

From other reviews, I understand that for as entertaining as the ’50 movie was, this rendition was more accurate to the H. Rider Haggard book in having a Black hero, portrayed here by Robeson. I do wish the print looked brighter/better. That said, as the movie was feared lost for years… it’s the familiar tale of a young lady’s father looking for a diamond mine and vanishing. Young lady Kathy O’Brien and a group of people (including Robeson and Allan Quartermain… yes, this is one of those adaptations that call him that instead of Quatermain) go through the desert, climb some mountains, etc. while Paul sings some songs as the producers probably felt obliged to when they cast a famous singer.

In hindsight, this should have been watched on April 8th; you see, a key plot point involves a solar eclipse… regrettably, the first two acts felt rather drab and this was compounded by (IMO) a Quartermain that was not only a wet blanket, but not that thrilling either. The blame isn’t being put on the shoulders of Cedric Hardwicke, who brought this version of Allan to life. It was a relief then that the focus was more on the fiery Kathy (portrayed by Anna Lee) than Quartermain.

The first two acts are best described by me as “drab.” Thankfully, business picked up in the final act between time spent w/ an African tribe-as stereotypical as they may be and the climax in the caves… action beats throughout that act that could be quite thrilling at times. The cast as a whole is fine but truthfully, Robeson is the highlight and elevates this B movie. The 1985 Cannon movie is more memorable due to campiness and the 1950 picture is the best overall but at least Old Paul got a plum role in an adventure flick.

 

Assassin of Youth

Assassin of Youth (1937… or 1938)

Runtime: 73 minutes

Directed by: Elmer Clifton

Starring: Luana Walters, Arthur Gardner, Dorothy Short, Earl Dwire, Fern Emmett

From: BCM Roadshow Pictures

Yes, I watched this anti-marijuana propaganda film on the night of 420 lol. Years ago I reviewed both Reefer Madness (known on Letterboxd as its original title, Tell Your Children) and Marihuana, each from 1936. They were exploitation movies marketed as “educational”-which was how they did not fall under the standards of the Hays Code-and were played in roadshows across the country. I had never seen the other 30’s weed movie Assassin of Youth until last night. While the reasons concerning the criminalization of marijuana in the 1930’s are rather unsavory (no accident that all three movies have the “troubled youth” listening to-gasp-jazz music), the films are still OOT nonsense and thus, quite amusing.

Assassin of Youth is the sloppiest and most confused of the trio (no small feat) yet still had some golden moments. Good girl Joan is set to inherit a chunk of change from her deceased grandmother… as long as she follows the moral turpitude clause in the will. Her awful cousin tries to ruin her reputation so SHE would get the dough instead. She has her own girl gang of troublemakers-you probably don’t want to worship them as “girl bosses,” though-including Dorothy Short, who played good girl Mary in Reefer Madness. Meanwhile, a reporter goes undercover to investigate Joan.

As poor as the entire production is and overshadowed in campy charm compared to Reefer Madness or Marihuana-not to mention overlong with the apparently full 73 minute cut I saw on YouTube-there are still moments to mention. The effects of pot are more realistic—no maniacally pounding away on a piano by someone who looked as if they ingested bath salts, as immortalized in Reefer Madness. I’m not sure about the “group of people at a party act like kangaroos and other animals”, but the blankly staring off into space then the homeowner hosting the shindig almost leaving the party along w/ everyone else… that is believable stoner behavior. That said, there are still claims that someone “addicted to pot” has “become psychotic,” it’s led to murders/suicides and Joan’s sister attempts to stab the 1938 version of Mia Goth w/ a knife…

However, the highlight character was a catty old gossiping hen of a woman w/ the surname FRISBEE. She was delightfully an awful person as she rode around on her scooter & literally cackled at Joan’s downfall. I was overjoyed whenever she appeared. Overall, the other marijuana propaganda films are better but was still happy to cross this off the list. Next time, a movie from this era which isn’t smutty trash.

Phase IV

Phase IV (1974)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Saul Bass

Starring: Nigel Davenport, Michael Murphy, Lynne Frederick, Alan Gifford, Robert Henderson

From: Paramount

A movie you might not like if you have trypophobia…then again, the movie’s original poster (not the one I'm using on Letterboxd right now) at least presents that warning in visual form and there's only one moment which will disturb you if you have that phobia. 

One nice aspect of 2024 is that I’ve already seen a few films I’ve been meaning to for literally years now, cult classic Phase IV included. The theatrical version of the picture (why I’m making the distinction will be elaborated upon at the end) is in the Criterion Channel collection Surreal Nature Films for obvious reasons--between the awesome 70’s synth score from Brian Gascoigne and some trippy visuals. I understand why the movie flopped at the box office even with 70’s crowds as even half a century later this is rather weird and arch… that said, it’s a shame that legendary graphic designer Saul Bass only got the chance to direct this one movie.

After all, the film is about ants becoming hyper-intelligent after an eclipse-like event (in hindsight, this should have been seen about two weeks ago…) and a pair of scientists reside in a sealed Arizona dome to study them. Hilariously, it’s outside the town of… Paradise City. No, the grass isn’t green but there is a pretty young lady… Lynne Frederick—I’ve mentioned her before: final wife of Peter Sellers, incredibly controversial due to her alleged “gold digger” mindset and how MANY did not like her for whatever reasons. I won’t defend her-her Wikipedia page doesn’t paint the most flattering picture anyhow.

Back to the ants; they have a hive mind, it’s quite the challenge. Nigel Davenport is Hubbs, who becomes obsessed as if the enemy is his Moby Dick while Lesko (Ernest, not Matthew) specializes in Game Theory so he attempts to decipher their “language” by correlating their noises to their movements. The film sounds like total B-movie in plot and execution, yet it is also cerebral in an increasingly unsympathetic Hubbs and the focus on macrophotography of the ants scheming to troll the scientists. It is a cold, austere film (despite the desert exteriors) yet all the attributes listed already plus some killer sound design made this odd journey worth it by the end. Of course, it’s ironic that this movie did not feature either memorable opening or closing credits, but alas…

I referred to which cut I saw as naturally there was a longer preview version before it was edited down for release. None other than Vinegar Syndrome in a 4K release pieced together what was available to include the theatrical and a longer version, the latter on a Blu disc. This includes an ending that was a few minutes longer… and many degrees more bizarre. I saw that online; literally, someone recorded a theatrical presentation of that scene with their phone.

For those that celebrate 4:20, the common version of Phase IV can still be enjoyed while you’re totally baked.

 

Jailer

Jailer (2023)

Runtime: 166 long minutes

Directed by: Nelson Dilipkumar

Starring: Rajinikanth, Vinayakan, Ramya Krishnan, Vasanth Ravi, Yogi Babu

From: Sun Pictures

Perhaps something got lost in translation...

I hate to do this; besides not viewing enough Indian movies for the at least dozen Letterboxd mutuals from that part of the world, but too often I've selected modern efforts that don't exactly jive with me. It's not easy to track down those movies between various different platforms, they sometimes vanish without warning, then trying to determine what could be to my esoteric tastes... still, I should try to choose better.

The premise sounded promising. The film starred Tamil language legend/superstar Rajinikanth as a former jailer who has a police officer son and an incredibly irritating grandson who loves having a YouTube show with 96 followers. Boy, the “humor” in this “dark comedy” more often than not really didn't jive with me. After all, the beginning of the film (after disclaimers about cigarettes, booze, and drunk driving) shows the main villain dunk three henchmen in sulfuric acid (?!) after one of them is a turncoat... then we get the irritating grandson and awkward comedy, which this is full of despite the brutal opening which also features two of the men being hit in the head with hammers! WTF? Like in some other movies from that country, there are small warnings displayed at the bottom whenever a character drinks or smokes. In this case, just seeing cigarettes is implied to be more offensive to the viewer then seeing people bashed with hammers then dipped in acid!

There was about a 20 minute stretch in the opening act which was rather dire. After that, it improved but too many of the characters (including the lead) I didn't really enjoy so it took the hilariously convoluted plot and some catchy songs to even keep me watching through the almost 3 hour runtime. I've now learned that when it comes to this part of the world, apparently I need to choose either the classic cinema from decades past or the modern movies that are hysterically, bombastically over the top like RRR. For now, I'll shrug my shoulders & move on.

Spider-Man

Spider-Man (2002)

Runtime: 121 minutes

Directed by: Sam Raimi

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco, Cliff Robertson

From: Columbia

Will people be offended when I say that I hadn’t seen this movie in more than 20 years? If not, then you probably will when I say that I’ve never viewed the other Raimi Spider-Man movies! As there are many new Letterboxd followers since my last review of a comic book film… I’ve never been a big fan of the genre so I’ve only bothered w/ some of them. This film was only tackled back in the day (at home, and only one time) because it featured Macho Man Randy Savage-jacked as heck; sadly, it did not shock me that he passed away years later due to a heart attack-for a few minutes. As Sony brought this back to cinemas for once an evening showings, it seemed like a nice way for the second viewing… and to finally discuss this here.

As someone mainly looking from the outside in at the genre and am ambivalent about many of those films, even I am tired of cinematic universes and even worse, the metaverse. Thus, the film’s origin story tale which was simple and just had one villain: refreshing. Not needing to read pages of notes or viewing several films and episodes of a few streaming shows to fully understand the plot-a relief. Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider & becomes Spider-Man while doing battle against the Green Goblin while a relationship w/ Mary Jane Watson develops.

Yes, there were moments I’ll describe as “comic book silliness” which is undoubtedly my biases. That noted, I was still happy to have revisited this movie on the big screen. Peter Parker as presented was easy to root for: despite acting like a typical teenager at times, he was still a picked-on nerd who still acted human-not to mention awkward-despite developing those super-powers and wanted to help people. The rest of the characters were also enjoyable for what they were, including literal girl next door Watson and Norman Osborn, who proved you shouldn’t test unproven performance-enhancing drugs on yourself. The CG wasn’t 100% flawless but mostly worked. What always worked: the vibrant score from Danny Elfman.

Perhaps I would not rate this as highly if it wasn’t for the theatrical experience. It was in a large auditorium where many of the seats were filled. Thank heavens the crowd was well-behaved. Besides the rapturous applause heard at the end and laughter during the funny moments, the biggest reactions came from the director credit and… J. Jonah Jameson’s first appearance. I imagine he had more time on screen in the sequels; even I have seen the meme of his uproarious laughter in the second film.

What I really appreciated in this picture: the lack of MCU nonstop “humor” which usually was just stupid instead of funny and undercut even the serious dramatic scenes. Instead, there was some laughs which for the most part were at least worthy of a chuckle while the serious moments (deaths, someone injured to the point of an extended hospital stay) weren’t ruined by a quip. In hindsight, waiting until this unexpected opportunity for a big theatrical experience for me to finally discuss a movie I only remembered fragments of. 

Next week is Spider-Man 2. I know some would be AGHAST if that is never experienced by me period. Yeah, the week after that is… Spider-Man 3. Because it’s the Internet, “Emo Peter Parker” and his “dancing” was viewed in clips a long time ago. Then again, in 2024 when Madame Web was crapped out, 3 might not be so bad now. From Fandango, I know the rest of the Spidey franchise will be shown in the upcoming weeks. Who knows how much of that journey I'll take.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1972)

Runtime: 86 minutes

Directed by: Bob Clark

Starring: A cast mainly full of non-actors, including future director Alan Ormsby and his wife at the time, Anya

From: Brandywine/Motionarts Films

What a movie to see as I finally subscribe to Shudder again. A few months ago I decided to take what was supposed to be a brief pause but it lasted for many more weeks than expected. I returned and saw that this was one of the many movies they added in the meantime. As the title amused me and I viewed another collaboration between Bob Clark and Alan Ormsby (Deathdream, i.e. Dead of Night), why not check this out? I knew beforehand that the production was rather sparse and was filmed in like two weeks in Florida.

Alan, the leader of a theatrical troupe (Ormsby himself) takes his charges to an island off the coast of Miami that served as a potter’s field. He wants to… dig up a corpse then do a Satanic ritual to resurrect it?! Yes. The movie is a horror-comedy, see, and there’s plenty of dialogue. The “gore” consists of red paint on bodies, although the zombie effects look good, especially considering that Ormsby also contributed to those in this affair that is said to have cost only $50,000. Of course the ritual goes awry; is it really a spoiler to mention that multiple zombies appear?

The movie won’t be for all tastes. It’s full of goofy characters; they mainly cower and are unwilling to stand up to their arrogant & increasingly tyrannical leader as his behavior becomes more macabre/tasteless. Yet I managed to be charmed by this silly film, one where most of the character names are the same as the actors that portrayed them. There is some tremendous 70’s clothing, especially from Alan. Hopefully none of the directors that are my Letterboxd mutuals ever act like the character, but if you ever decide to dress in his ensemble, I’d be pleased! I’m sure you could pull off the combo of bright orange silk shirt, red/white tie, and multicolored striped pants…

At times even I can admit the movie seems to be spinning its wheels until the action picks up; that said, there’s plenty of colorful dialogue, hit or miss comedy that seemed like a college improv group goofing off (to steal a line; many of the main cast WERE friends at the time) and various moments that kept my attention. One was wondering if Alan’s wife at the time-Anya-was just acting spaced-out or not… actually, I shouldn’t say that as she didn’t act that way in Deathdream. I was just amused by her bizarre character the most. Heck, randomly out of nowhere she pulled out what I would normally describe as a Leatherface mask but given the year, an Ed Gein mask would be the best descriptor. Fitting that Clark and Ormsby would soon after this make Deranged, something I still need to experience.

For all its low-budget faults, there’s also low-budget charm and it does manage to possess many creepy moments even before business picks up and the zombie attack is legit effective. Plenty will think Children is just boring and dumb but the movie worked for me based on what the filmmakers were going for. It manages to be memorable despite its DIY nature and for me was more chilling & just plain interesting than many modern horror efforts.

 

The Dam Busters

The Dam Busters (1955)

Runtime: 125 minutes

Directed by: Michael Anderson

Starring: Richard Todd, Michael Redgrave, Basil Sydney, Patrick Barr, Ernest Clark

From: Associated British Picture Corporation

Yes, I’ve known the name of the dog for years now…

The obvious big black dog in the room has to be addressed first. For those unfamiliar, The Dam Busters is a British film based on a daring raid during World War II. A key detail is that one of the main players has a Black Lab with a horrifying name by 2024 standards but during the time in the UK, multiple black animals used that name as it wasn’t seen as horrible during the time/place. After all, if you don’t know the original name of Agatha Christie’s novel And Then There Were None (and I don’t mean Ten Little Indians) be prepared for a shock once you look at the novel’s Wiki page! The dog’s name is said quite a few times during the first half; something bad happens to the dog and in the second half, its name is used as a code word during the mission, meaning the viewer gets to hear that offensive slur what seemed like at least twenty times!

Not a surprise then that not only did I have to visit The Bowels of the Internet to finally watch the movie because it can’t legally be found streaming in the United States, but there’s been a s---storm controversy over whether or not the dog’s name should be censored to Trigger (some airings have done this); Peter Jackson has wished for ages to direct a remake. I’m sure the dog’s name and how it should be handled is the reason why it hasn’t happened. Even the dog’s grave & its headstone is a source of controversy. 

All this drama overshadowing the movie is unfortunate; its stiff upper lip attitudes & straightforward telling of the story won’t be for all but it enthralled me. The first half hour presents Barnes Wallis & his unorthodox idea for the destruction of German dams that would cripple their industry. After the idea is finally approved, the 617 Squadron is formed for carrying out the daring raid under nigh impossible conditions. Both the bomb and the scheme for delivering it need to be improved before the raid can commence.

The other aspect that has garnered notoriety through the years isn’t as shocking. Rather, it is how the Trench Run on the Death Star in Star Wars (and perhaps also the attack on the uranium plant in Top Gun: Maverick) were inspired by the last 30 minutes of this movie, when the raid occurs. George Lucas spliced together footage from World War II movies to create a more accurate representation for the action in Star Wars; he must have been a big fan of The Dam Busters as entire lines of dialogue are only slightly modified, let alone the scheme of multiple planes dropping multiple bombs in a pattern at a precise target where the next one steps in if a bomb fails. 1964’s 633 Squadron will be viewed one day as that is the other inspiration for the finale of Star Wars. At least this wasn’t Lucas using imagery from-ahem-Triumph of the Will for the final scene of A New Hope!

Divorced from a dog name of its time or its “inspiration” for an all-time classic, The Dam Busters was a clinical presentation of a story that was fascinating for my tastes. Some of the effects have aged real poorly but otherwise I was happy to have finally watched this war movie.

 

Naked Lunch

Naked Lunch (1991)

Runtime: 116 minutes

Directed by: David Cronenberg

Starring: Peter Weller, Judy Davis, Ian Holm, Julian Sands, Roy Scheider

From: 20^th Century Fox

What a memory from my college days this was. I’ve had this on Criterion Blu-ray for awhile now; it wasn’t from the last flash sale they did but the one before that, where I was able to combine it with a discount due to my Criterion Channel subscription. At the time it was impossible to stream legally in the United States; now, it is on Max but as that could vanish at any moment and this was something I only saw in college (more than 20 years ago).

To clarify, back in those days, me and a pal sometimes would watch and laugh at bizarre cinema. I’m talking about the mild oddities like Blue Velvet to stranger movies like Fritz the Cat, Meet the Feebles and Naked Lunch. Of course we would laugh at a film involving people getting high on bug powder and giant talking insects. I never gave this another shot until last night. Note that I’ve never read the William S. Burroughs novel The Naked Lunch, nor anything from the author for that matter.

The movie is still bizarre but at least I better appreciate the filmmaking craft behind it; that includes the performances, the obvious green and yellow color scheme, the musical score from Howard Shore where Ornette Coleman tracks are also used, etc. Surreal movies aren’t always my jam as I’ve elucidated upon in the past. Yet, I can probably rationalize plenty concerning what this weird journey was really all about. The writing process, drug addictions, homosexuality (the movie also used other Burroughs stories along with moments from his own life), and other moments I don’t want to spoil… the WTF effects (including bug typewriters!) do look rather swell. 

All the metaphors aside, due to the first experience I’ll always laugh when I think of Naked Lunch and its unreal elements. The soliloquy that Peter Weller (what a performance) delivers while driving on a foggy road alone… and I understand it was taken from the Naked Lunch novel; I’m unsure if it is an enticement to read it myself! The rest of the familiar faces-Judy Davis, Ian Holm, Julian Sands, Roy Scheider-do a swell job but Weller was the highlight w/ his deadpan performance. Much to my relief, the movie is strange without the plot becoming so obtuse it becomes impossible to comprehend.

The thousands of movies I’ve seen between my college days & now (including more Cronenberg) have prepared me to fully appreciate Naked Lunch.

Ugetsu

Ugetsu (1953)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Kenji Mizoguchi

Starring: Masayuki Mori, Michiko Kyo, Kinuyo Tanaka, Mitsuko Mito, Eitaro Ozawa

From: Daiei

This was my introduction to Criterion 24/7. To clarify, the Criterion Channel just created on their platform a streaming channel of their movies. Like the three channels in the Shudder app, the viewer doesn’t know what films will be playing next. Unlike the Shudder app, the channel does not identify the movie playing—instead you have to literally visit an incredibly basic website which tells you the movie. Utterly baffling, not to mention counter-productive for a number of reasons. Regardless, yesterday evening I saw that they played Parker Posey’s Party Girl and the movie before this was Cronos, so there’s variety. I left the channel on as Cronos was deep in the final act. After the credits ended and this film began, it made sense for me to finally see this highly-regarded picture.

The film: in 16th century Japan, two dumb men prove how foolish they are. Both have wives and one, a child in addition. In the turmoil of civil war, one goes to the city due to greed & wanting to sell his pottery while the other wishes to be a samurai despite possessing no qualities or talents for such a role. Both men find success (at least at first) while bad things happen to the women, including yes, sexual assault; as this was a parable, there are lessons for them to learn.

Before last night I did not know much of Kenji Mizoguchi; via research, I now realize he was seen by an elder statesman in Japanese cinema (including by Kurosawa)--he did a swell job with Ugetsu between the sweeping camera movements and the long takes. Credit should go to cinematographer Kazuo Miyagawa… and also the musical contributions of Fumio Hayasaka. Mr. Hayasaka created a sometimes haunting and sometimes peculiar but always quality score that fit the footage.

Why the score possesses haunting moments won’t be revealed here. The movie is a parable which may seem simple on the surface but there’s plenty of depth if you ponder the events in your mind. Not only was I happen to talk of a new feature on one of the streaming services I consistently have subscribed to for a few years now, but talk about great World Cinema. As I've noticed they have also played The Color of Pomegranates & Pandora and the Flying Dutchman, the channel will have strong variety... which makes me happy.

The Poseidon Adventure

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Runtime: 117 minutes

Directed by: Ronald Neame

Starring: The expected all-star cast for a disaster movie

From: 20^th Century Fox

What a shame that some ghouls have dogged Gene Hackman as of late for what he wears in 2024. He's 94 years old and doesn't deserve to be harassed like that. Thankfully most were outraged by the actions of those bastards. I'm glad he can still get out and purchase a soda alongside a slice of apple pie. It won't be a trend but after watching a disaster movie the previous night, it only made sense for me to comment on Hackman and also finally discuss one of the most famous genre examples.

It had a simple premise: because of scummy owners, the ship S.S. Poseidon flips over because of a massive tidal wave; Ol' Gene plays a reverend (!) but is a “hip” and “modern” example; he leads those few that decide to follow him rather than sit around and wait. Ernest Borgnine plays a cop who of course comes into conflict with the reverend; at times it's understandable why it may seem foolish to blindly follow him with any confidence. The other famous faces include Shelley Winters, Jack Albertson, Stella Stevens, Red Buttons, Roddy McDowall and Leslie Nielsen. There are other conflicts also but despite some cliché and dated elements, at least most of the characters (even the two children) have at least one shining moment.

As it is a genre example, that means the viewer shouldn't expect all of the name talent to survive by the end. That unpredictability does help, along with filming those scenes of peril and adventure on actual sets instead of it being phony-looking CG crap. There's plenty the small phalanx of people has to endure before climbing up to the bottom of the ship on the hope someone will rescue them. A nice John Williams score is also an asset; as for the Oscar-winning song The Morning After... 70's soft-rock cheese it was. That is a compliment, by the way.

What a formula there was for the disaster movie, from the casts to the effects and sometimes, attempting to win the Oscar for Best Song. Irwin Allen was involved w/ many of those, and if this wasn't his best then it was his most famous example.

The Cassandra Crossing

The Cassandra Crossing (1976)

Runtime: 129 minutes

Directed by: George P. Cosmatos

Starring: An all-star cast… and OJ Simpson

From: Several different European companies

No, I won’t be saying “RIP OJ Simpson.” I’ve known of George P. Cosmastos’ The Cassandra Crossing for years now (for some reason, it started receiving more attention starting in 2020…) and this gave me the push to finally check it out. The whole death of Nicole Brown & Ronald Goldman to the criminal trial of Simpson and his acquittal-which was due to the botched prosecution and not because he was innocent-was during my early teen years. Would you believe that the verdict was shown during school live? It is true and I know it happened across the country. You wouldn’t believe how big the trial was unless you were alive & remembered it; thank goodness social media wasn’t a thing back then. I don’t have sympathy for Simpson suffering from prostate cancer then passing away on Wednesday.

But back to the movies. I’ve discussed The Naked Gun movies before along with The Towering Inferno & Capricorn One so instead I went with the picture about… the Americans holding a plague at the Not World Health Organization in Geneva so three Swedes attempt to blow the building up but it is botched and one of the terrorists escapes on a train. How do they prevent the plague from leaving the train? This was a European production so no surprise the Americans were to blame. 

The movie also belongs in the disaster genre as this was hot s--- in the 70’s, so it is an all-star cast. There’s:

Sophia Loren; her husband was one of the producers
Martin Sheen, sporting a tremendous head of hair
Richard Harris
Lee Strasberg
Ava Gardner
Alida Valli
John Phillip Law
Euro genre star Ray Lovelock
Lionel Stander
Ingrid Thulin
And even Burt Lancaster

This movie made me utter some phrases I never thought would have been possible. They included “OJ Simpson shared several scenes w/ Lee Strasberg,” “Wait a minute, OJ Simpson plays a PRIEST?!” & “Ava Gardner was a rich COUGAR in her love affair with Martin Sheen”! As others have noted, the movie by design was rather low stakes in the first two acts. It is not loaded with incident as the drama revolves around who does & doesn’t exhibit signs of being infected by the plague. The final act has the stakes raised-I’d say so-but The Cassandra Crossing (named so as that’s what they call a rickety old bridge the train has to cross to reach the zone of quarantine) doesn’t rise above being just fine.

The film does have some bizarre moments when it comes to the medical field and perhaps it wasn’t in great taste to have Strasberg as a Holocaust survivor and the zone of quarantine be a… concentration camp. Admittedly, many disaster films could be nitpicked for its storytelling or logic. The film is still fine as an example in the genre. Holy cow, what a turn it takes in the final act, and I’ll say no more. As loony as this movie becomes, there’s still the nice cast, the drama, the Jerry Goldsmith score that as sometimes happened, at times really carried the film.

The movie is not in the upper echelon of disaster pictures but was still fine as a 2 hour curio.

Four Men and a Prayer

Four Men and a Prayer (1938)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: John Ford

Starring: Many famous faces, as described below

From: 20th Century Fox

Minor John Ford, but still intriguing. After all, I know some mutuals on Letterboxd will have their ears perk up when they hear that the plot is that British Army officer C. Aubrey Smith is dishonorably discharged from service in India, his sons George Sanders, David Niven, Richard Greene & William Henry come together to investigate their father being railroaded in a tale also involving Loretta Young, Alan Hale, John Carradine, Barry Fitzgerald and Reginald Denny: they will want to hear my opinion. The movie can be found on YouTube but it was easier to DVR a showing on the Fox Movie Channel a few weeks ago.

The cast is swell and as a LOT happens in 85 minutes (it was based on a novel, according to the opening credits) it is never dull. Yet, it does seem overstuffed at the same time as the characters split up to investigate, thus several exotic locations are visited… or recreated on a soundstage, to be exact. You probably wouldn’t think that a Ford trademark-a bar fight-would appear here, but you’d be mistaken. An actual massacre was for certain NOT on my BINGO card yet this happened in a film that also included a romance, Fitzgerald acting wacky and time spent in a banana republic in what was nominally a mystery/adventure picture.

In fact, at times the movie was bewildering and I did not love the story as presented. Those points noted, I can still say this was fine due to Ford’s direction, the famous faces, and some wild moments. Young seems shoehorned in and the movie is not one I ever need to see again. It’s best for completionists of the director and/or one of the main stars. That’s unless you want to hear Niven speak like Donald Duck (not only do I have no idea, no one else does either) or see him taking a bath.

The First Omen

The First Omen (2024)

79% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 139 reviews)

Runtime: 121 minutes

Directed by: Arkasha Stevenson

Starring: Nell Tiger Free (what a name), Ralph Ineson, Sonia Braga, Tawfeek Barhom, Maria Caballero

From: 20^th Century Studios

I had to go through Hell to see this movie.

I first saw the movie at AMC at Disney Springs… but had to leave before the first act even concluded due to how bad the crowd was (this is NOT the movie you want to view with a Troglodyte audience) and left so I could attend the late showing of this at my town’s local cinema instead. Yet another time having the AMC A-List app is nice; the cost wasn’t as high as it could have been, although the inconvenience…

It’s just a shame that hardcore horror fans tend to be awesome people, yet the genre seems to attract some of the biggest jackasses to theatrical screenings. Theater etiquette hasn’t always been great this year; too many mouthbreathers either flapping their jowls or dead-eye looking at their phones constantly. I thought about making a scene before leaving but in hindsight, discretion & my storming off without a word was the right move.

To answer two questions right away:

* I only saw parts of the made for cable Omen movie; otherwise, I can comment on the entire movie franchise. The OG is very good, the second is fine while The Final Conflict is only OK, despite the best efforts of Sam Neill. The 2006 remake is also only OK; in many regards it was a Xerox copy of the original film, just not done as well and featuring some rather poor CG.
* I’ve not tackled Immaculate, despite Syd… I mean, despite the similarities to this movie. At home one day I’ll create the obvious double-feature.

Not every narrative decision in The First Omen sat well w/ me; at least one point had to come via the dreaded “studio notes” rather than the intentions of director Arkasha Stevenson; this being a feature film debut was surprising given how assured most of it was. Be that as it may, I still found this prequel to be pretty good-chronicling young Margaret as she moves to a Rome orphanage in 1971 for training to become a nun. She bonds w/ a troubled young girl, and I won’t go more in-depth than that.

One key aspect: there are some legitimate scares. Sure, there’s more than one of the jump-scare variety. That said, there’s also some horrifying imagery and (admitted by the filmmakers) a homage to a legendary scene in 80’s Euro-horror. Another aspect is the turmoil in the country at the time. That was accurate (it’s known as the Time of Lead) & was a major reason why the genre fare was not only so wild, it was pessimistic.

The message of “a woman having autonomy over her body” is presented in a way that wasn’t… preachy (pun intended); in a refreshing break from too many Hollywood movies these days, there isn’t any lecturing over controversial topics that are bound to enrage a large section of the demographic. The setting was decently presented although some of the period clothing may have been a few years anachronistic and one song heard certainly was, as I’ll mention in a minute. Speaking of music, the score wasn’t epic and bombastic like Jerry Goldsmith’s contributions to the original trilogy yet Mark Korven’s score was satisfactory to the film’s subject matter… which was presented in a deliberate yet never dull manner until it goes into overdrive.

Nell Tiger Free… now, I have rather high skepticism that was the name on her birth certificate. Bizarre monikers aside, I’d never seen her act before (avoiding Game of Thornes proved to be a wise move given its wet fart final season!) but she was great leading The First Omen. It was a large reason why I kept engaged with the movie despite my misgivings of more than one plot point. At least in 1971 Italy, I have to presume that nuns in training aren’t cloistered anywhere & they can go out in sexy clothing to the discotheques. Then again, those few minutes tickled me pink due to the hilarious 70’s Euro-pop that was played, only one of which I knew: Boney M.’s Daddy Cool! Of course, that song came out in ’76, but…

The First Omen was not the pretentious crap “elevated horror” that does nothing to thrill me nor lame Blumhouse crap (where from reviews I understand they are now ripping off their own movies), thus I was pleasantly surprised it was an entertaining horror prequel.