Pee-wee's Big Adventure

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Tim Burton

Starring: Paul Reubens (RIP), Elizabeth Daily, Mark Holton, Diane Salinger, plenty of actors in small roles

From: Warner Bros.

RIP Paul Reubens

Due to my schedule being free this afternoon & tomorrow afternoon (my next review will actually be posted tomorrow afternoon, a few hours earlier than typical for a weekday), I was able to almost immediately view this film after the news broke. Like I loved the Looney Tunes & TMNT as a little kid, the same rang true for Pee-wee’s Playhouse. It’s never been revisited by me as an adult so who knows about my opinion now but at that age I thought it was great. In addition, this and Big Top Pee-wee were rented on VHS more than once. Flight of the Navigator was also a childhood favorite and even if he was billed as Paul Mall, at the time I’m sure I realized he voiced the spaceship. 

As for his 1991 arrest for jackin’ off at a XXX movie theater… it took a long time for me to fully realize what that meant, and that this is what a lot of people did at a XXX movie theater anyhow! As an adult it was interesting to see him act in roles other than his most famous character. Hearing that he had cancer for years yet kept it secret from the public—the news made me sad as it has for millions of others.

What I do remember about Pee-wee’s Playhouse: it was pretty weird! From what I remember, my parents did not share the same enthusiasm for the childlike character that I did. Reubens selecting Tim Burton (then just a Disney animator who got fired from there because they thought the Frankenweenie short was far too bizarre) as director was really a stroke of genius; talk about two styles that complimented each other. The same goes for Danny Elfman’s score capturing both the whimsy and the dark moments of this film. Big Adventure definitely had some dark moments, although the only one that was a YIKES to me was… of course, Large Marge. Otherwise, those dark moments (which were never forgotten) never prevented me from completing the film.

The movie is a cross-country odyssey where Pee-wee attempts to find his stolen bike… it IS a sweet ride. That simple premise allowed the lead to enter a variety of peculiar situations, including a biker bar-and probably the movie’s most famous scene, set to Tequila-dinosaur statues & even Hollywood itself. To be frank (or perhaps Francis) the film can be a mixed bag at times and Pee-wee is an exaggerated character that is constantly loud so he can be a bit much at times.
Those demerits does not mean that I didn’t have a pretty good time. 

The music, direction and production/set design are the standouts. The fact that I remembered a decent amount despite the last viewing probably being somewhere between 15 and 20 years ago is a credit to the film. This had plenty of familiar faces, whether already known at the time (James Brolin, Morgan Fairchild, Cassandra Peterson) or those that would be famous later-Jason Hervey, Jan Hooks, and Phil Hartman; the latter played an important role in creating the Pee-wee character. There were even cameos I did not recall and went uncredited so I won’t spoil those.

I wish it would haven’t been a shocking death that caused me to finally talk about Pee-wee Herman here, but regardless, it was a treat to see the film only a few hours after hearing of his shocking death. The only way I can properly send off Paul Reubens is to say… au revoir, Pee-wee.

Death Line

Death Line (1972)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: Gary Sherman

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Norman Rossington, David Ladd, Sharon Gurney, Hugh Armstrong

From: Harbor Ventures/K-L Productions

Mind the doors!

Whether you call it Death Line or Raw Meat (Shudder actually uses both titles), this played on one of Shudder’s three streaming channels yesterday; it was a Gary Sherman double feature as this was right after Dead & Buried. I didn’t like this as much as Dead & Buried or Vice Squad, yet Death Line was still fine.

Raw Meat is sort of a spoiler title as to what the Big Bad is; the setting is London and people start disappearing from the London Underground at Russell Square Station. No, Russell Square wasn’t named after one of my ancestors. A young couple get mixed up in that mess but the lead is Donald Pleasance as an Inspector who is on the gruff and abrupt side. In fact, I’d say he acts like a jerk… albeit an amusing one. His character was definitely the highlight. A surprising amount of time is spent with the Big Bad; that leads to some chilling moments. To give a hint, there was an 1892 cave-in which trapped people while the subway lines were being dug out.

The movie wasn’t as epic as it could have been with such a premise. There are some LONG takes which at times were well-done. Yet, they could also cause the film to d-r-a-g and feel long for something less than 90 minutes in length. That duly noted, the score was fine, although it never reaches the heights of the epic opening credits where a distinguished gentleman is in the seedy areas of London as an awesome synth and drums song is played. Christopher Lee is in this… for one scene. He really wanted to work w/ Pleasence, but those two men are quite different in height and I guess people didn’t want that to be obvious so the one scene had to be shot a certain way. A shame, as more Lee likely would have benefited the plot with the character he played.

Death Line is a mixed bag yet there are moments and Pleasence nailing an atypical role for him made me not regret my viewing choices yesterday. There’s some gore and funny period clothing, after all.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Stuart Gillard

Starring: Elias Koteas, Paige Turco, Stuart Wilson, Sab Shinomo, Vivian Wu

From: Golden Harvest/New Line Cinema

 A movie I hadn’t seen since 1993… for good reason. My fandom of the TMNT franchise has been mentioned before; in the late 80’s through about ’92 I was a big fan of the Turtles. Mom took me and my sisters to see the first two theatrically. By the time of this film’s release, though, my fandom had waned (as had the popularity of the franchise) so it wasn’t until VHS at home that the third film was finally experienced. All I recalled about TMNT III was that it was bad and while that did not deliver a death blow to my fandom, that caused me to not see any subsequent Turtle films, a streak that will finally be broken w/ the new one coming out in a matter of days.

Just WHY I wasn’t a fan of this was long forgotten; in the years since, knowledge that the turtle and rat costumes were notably worse was mentioned… and boy were they right. Needless to say, in ’93 as a 12 year old I had never seen any actual samurai movies. Now that I have—this is a lame cosplay version of such that is pitiful even if I haven’t seen films like Seven Samurai, Hakakiri or the Lone Wolf & Cub series. Just how bad this was surprised even me.

The entire enterprise just doesn’t have a stupid as hell plot that squanders the rather inspired idea of the Turtles in Feudal Japan where those in 1603 Japan thought they were Kappa… a concept I definitely did not know in ’93. All of it is just bad: the story, the time travel device being an ancient scepter and the mechanics of such, the dialogue in 1603 Japan, the action, the “humor”, and even the idea of having a returning Elias Koteas in a dual role was wasted.

The ”story” as is involves April O’Neal accidentally time-traveling to early 17th century Japan and our heroes manage to figure out how to do same in surprisingly quick fashion. The time spent in Japan is various cliches done poorly, including an uprising against an evil Lord and the impact of the West on the country. Japan wasn’t actually isolationist at the time so a ship of English traders being there and a key part of the plot technically could have happened. That doesn’t mean this is worthwhile or that it isn’t boring, as Cripes is this about as exciting as watching a lotus flower grow.

TMNT III is just dull and dumb; my prediction for how much I’ll enjoy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is still up in the air. However, it has to be better than III.

Green Hell

Green Hell (1940)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: James Whale

Starring: Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Joan Bennett, John Howard, George Sanders, Alan Hale

From: Universal

I don't like EVERY movie from Old Time Hollywood. I try to check out the ones where the general consensus is that they are at least “fine”. My viewing of the 1950 King Solomon's Mines and someone I follow on Letterboxd recently reviewed this obscurity sparked the desire to see a picture most don't even know of now. Despite that reviewer's words of caution and my having to visit “the bowels of the Internet” to view a copy, this is rather bad despite all the talent involved. Even at release, critics & audiences rejected the film.

Get this: it was directed by James Whale, lensed by Karl Freund, written by a two-time Oscar winner (Frances Marion) and starred various famous faces: Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Joan Bennett, George Sanders, Alan Hale, George Bancroft, and even one of the first roles for Vincent Price... yet despite this and queer subtext, the movie is still rather poor. Everyone who reviews the movie repeats this quote from Price yet it's apropos: “About five of the worst pictures ever made were in that one picture.”

It starts off as an adventure where a bunch of random white dudes in a small South American town go on a trek to an Inca temple to “steal its gold”, as many would deem it. No comment on that aspect of the story; in contrast, I WILL remark that the portrayal of the natives is about as stereotypical as expected. The temple was found 15 minutes into the tale, which was... unexpected. The story then turns and the crux of it is actually Bennett appearing in camp and all those dumb men swooning over her, fighting w/ each other. You can see where the queer subtext comes in. Of course, Joan Bennett's a lovely and charming lady but this just made the movie lame and honestly tanks the whole fiasco. Before anyone asks, there are NO giant hornets; that's the unrelated and apparently deathly dull Monster from Green Hell.

There's no real need to try and track this down. It's not funny/bad enough watch for the laughs and for legitimate reasons it's best to avoid. There's no shortage of films featuring the cast & crew that are more worthy of your time (not to mention, jungle pictures) and even if one day some company released this in HD, the one true highlight-the giant, impressive sets that Universal built on their lot-was later repurposed in The Mummy's Hand and the Claude Rains Phantom of the Opera, so I understand.

King Solomon's Mines

King Solomon’s Mines (1950)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Compton Bennett/Andrew Marton

Starring: Stewart Granger, Deborah Kerr, Richard Carlson, Hugo Haas, Kimursi, Siriaque

From: MGM

A movie for Mom. That’s as in my late mother, who passed away on July 25, 2020. I don’t even know how many hundreds of users have followed me since that date, so I’ll be brief: she was sick for all of 2020 due to an illness I won’t mention, except that it was NOT COVID; there wasn’t a worse time for such an illness than a pandemic that hadn’t occurred in a century. That anniversary was why I didn’t see anything on Tuesday; those were bad memories of what she went through the last months of her life.

This version of King Solomon’s Mines was a favorite of hers; more than once I caught her viewing it on TCM. I wish I could give specific answers as to why she had so much love. From presumption and what else she loved (like the Errol Flynn The Adventures of Robin Hood), it must be because it was a fun rousing adventure in a location that can be exotic, with romance that augments all the thrills. It was watched on YouTube… I know, but the legal streams are all in SD for some reason while that YouTube user uploaded the Blu rip from that disc that Warner Archive produced—it’s a Technicolor adventure set & filmed in Africa, so an HD experience seemed obvious to me.

There are some aspects that won’t sit well with a few. The opening features an elephant hunted for sport; if it makes anyone feel better, after this point animals are only killed for food or a lifesaving measure. There’s the whole colonization aspect, not just in the 1897 setting but still in 1950 the governments of “Tanganyika, Uganda Protectorate, Kenya Colony and Protectorate, and Belgian Congo” were thanked. It wasn’t until a decade later that we got the countries of Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya, and Democratic Republic of the Congo. Much to my relief, women (chiefly, Deborah Kerr’s character) wasn’t a negative stereotype and neither were any of the African tribes on display.

It's not a complex plot: Kerr and her brother pay Allan Quatermain-who has led safaris for 15 years, which would explain why he had a hell of a tan-a LOT of cash as her brother went on a foolhardy adventure to try and find the titular mines, purportedly a literal treasure trove of diamonds. Like I said, it was a rousing adventure that doesn’t have a revolutionary plot (it was based on the H. Rider Haggard novel from 1885, after all) but that doesn’t matter when it was an entertaining story on a continent with all sorts of exotic sights, unique floral & fauna that could be deadly. I enjoyed the characters and the situations they stumbled into.

While I wish this would have been seen while Mom was still alive so I could ask her a few questions about it, this was still a fun time seeing the sort of adventure they don’t quite make anymore. In case anyone was curious, this far eclipses the goofy 1985 King Solomon’s Mines.

 

Sharksploitation

I'm not talking about the subgenre itself; rather, it's a new 2023 documentary added to Shudder a few days ago that I viewed last night: 

How do I become a “professor and monster expert”?

A few days ago, this new documentary dropped on Shudder and as I've seen enough shark movies to have my own Letterboxd list, this was enough to intrigue me. To be totally judgmental and speak blindly, this had to be more informative (not to mention, more truthful) than anything on Shark Week this or any year, but I’ll say more about that later.

The documentary was more than just mentioning Jaws then showing the literally hundreds of films-whether or not they feature sharks-that it inspired. There’s also folklore explained and various aquatic monster movies from before ’75 until they mention how Jaws was such an unprecedented smash, everyone wanted a piece of that pie, resulting in so many ripoffs that it became its own subgenre. Personally, I wasn’t that interested in the section of the film where all the low or even micro-budget entries are covered as with those, the effects are so horrid and the tone is too dumb for me to enjoy it. That’s why you shouldn’t expect me to ever talk about the Sharknado films. That’s just personal preference and I have few complaints about Sharksploitation.

Various talking heads involved with those movies are interviewed (including Corman and Dante) but there’s also those in the marine biologist field as a conservation message is stressed. The unfortunate phenomenon that many sharks were killed out of fear after Jaws was released is for certain a talking point. One highlight was Dr. Emily Zarka, the “professor and monster expert” I mentioned in the beginning. That name was dropped in case anyone has ever watched those Monstrum shorts on PBS’s website; I had only heard of it without ever clicking “play.” Although, I should do so as it covers folklore from around the world.

A talking point was how in 2013, one of the Shark Week shows was a faux documentary about a megalodon not only still in existence despite going extinct over 3 million years ago, but that there was footage of it attacking humans. As that was never later denounced by the network, apparently there are plenty of people today that still believe it to be true… that is one of many reasons why I never watch Shark Week. A week that (likely) perpetuates the negative stereotypes around the species and (probably) full of fake/inaccurate information, staged scenes and utter nonsense… no thank you. A documentary about films cashing in on Jaws was I presume far more informative than any of those programs. As for the similar competing week they have on the National Geographic Channel… I hope it’s not as sleazy but I can’t say either way.

That likely unpopular opinion stated… no matter your opinion of Shark Week, if you’re familiar with this subgenre or heck, even enjoy sharks as a species and hope man does not eradicate even one variety of them, this may be of interest to you.

The Mysterians

The Mysterians (Chikyu Boeigun) (1957)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Ishiro Honda

Starring: Kenji Sahara, Yumi Shirakawa, Momoko Kochi, Akihiro Hirada, Takashi Shimura

From: Toho

So… last night for a few hours I thought I saw a UFO! That is the technical term of “UFO”, meaning “object in the sky whose origins were unknown to me.” I phrase it that way as it’s not an automatic declaration that the object I’ll describe in a moment was piloted by aliens. Yet, until some Google-fu later (really, knowing what to search for) I was bamboozled as to what it was.

Last night I was outside soon after the sun set, alone at home. Suddenly, I saw a light in the sky so naturally the assumption was that it was some sort of plane. However, it did not move as fast. The light then went out for a few seconds before returning… then suddenly a huge plume of smoke comes out of it as it moved oddly in the sky before disappearing behind a house. I wasn’t able to follow it any further. An initial Google search revealed nothing. After the movie I DID discover what it was, and what a punchline that is; that will be at the end of the review.

Because of this event, a sci-fi picture involving aliens was obvious. I thought of watching this on the Criterion Channel for a little while so this is the direction I went. A movie directed by Ishiro Honda, a score from Akira Ifukube, effects from Eiji Tsuburaya and even supporting role for Takashi Shimura & Akihiro Hirada… this is why I was interested. Aliens come to Earth and they at first seem benevolent. They request a small patch of land—and some Earth women! Is it a spoiler to suggest that humanity shouldn’t fully trust masked aliens whose outfits are like that of the Power Rangers?

There’ also a bipedal robot named Moguera which wrecks s--- in the classic kaiju fashion. That robot would have a different backstory/usage in Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla. Japan is aggressively against The Mysterians despite their pleas that they are just pacificists. Can they be trusted? An unexpected plot point revolved around nuclear weapons; what timing considering what was released a few days ago. How they apparently were PISSED at the Mysterians for that “we want your women!” demand did make me chuckle. There’s plenty of charm with the 50’s sci-fi aesthetic and the quaint effects. Thus, I was entertained.

As for what I saw in the night sky a matter of hours ago? It was… one of Elon Musk’s rockets! That is not something I follow and the thought that they’d launch it Sunday evening at 8:50 PM ET did not cross my mind. It was a nice sight to see now that I knew what it was; no comment on Musk or especially the weekend he had where even more people scoffed at him & thought he was a dunce!

 

For Those That Have Seen Oppenheimer...

I discuss an early 80's documentary about the man called The Day After Trinity: 

Just blindly, I’ll proclaim that this Oppenheimer documentary should be watched before or after Oppenheimer the movie. Even if you’re not signed up for The Criterion Channel, you can watch The Day After Trinity on the platform for free until July 31st.

Before I review this, Barbenhemier has to be discussed. Barbie’s been marketed so well that it undoubtedly also was a benefit to its main competitor from another studio… which is especially incredible as Nolan took Oppenheimer to Universal because he was mad at Warner Bros. for wanting all their 2021 films on streaming, and Barbie was slotted for this weekend on purpose as a middle finger. Warner, Universal and even Voldemort running WB shouldn’t be upset as both films did astronomically well. Despite everyone (especially on Letterboxd) attending both and loving both, neither will be seen by me. That’s an opinion most will vehemently disagree with, but let me explain why.

The former, it’s the trailers and the “comedy” it presented which told me “nope.” It has nothing to do w/ it “hating men!”, as some attention-seekers on prominent YouTube channels love to proclaim for clicks. I understand the film is incredibly heavy-handed (another reason not to view) but the claims from those folks that it is “unhinged” or “has contempt for men” or even that it’s “woke”… just from assumption it’s likely overblown hot takes, which is a charitable take from me as it’s better than saying that they didn’t understand the film. It IS funny that grown men are having conniption fits over BARBIE; for all my faults at least you won’t see me show my ass like that.

As for Oppenheimer, the director’s previous work and my not liking most of what I’ve seen is a big reason. Also, I have to shake my head and change my stance from “this is an Emperor w/ No Clothes scenario with most loving him despite obvious flaws” to “cult of personality.” A popular YouTube reviewer extolled the virtues of the movie & it was all “Bravo! Le Magnifique!” Then, he mentioned that in this 3 hour dialogue-heavy motion picture, he could only understand 75% of the dialogue! After that, this reviewer continued on with the “Masterpiece! Movie of the year!” and literally proclaimed the entire product “a monumental achievement.“ The director deciding that these sound mixes are what he WANTS yet most excuse this inanity… this is now why I say “cult of personality.”

With all that setup explained, this was a documentary I had never even heard of until two nights ago, let alone knew it was on The Criterion Channel. An e-mail from that platform alerted everyone to The Day After Trinity; wise decision. It was produced in part by a PBS station (public television for those worldwide) so the product is on the dry side yet I was personally riveted. After his life up to WWII was explained along with his personality, the crux dealt with The Manhattan Project then his regret that the bomb won’t lead to peace and instead not only killed so many in Japan, it led to the Cold War. This is augmented by footage and photos (including those of “Oppie” himself) along with interviews w/ people he worked with throughout life… not to mention his brother Frank.

As long as you like documentaries that aren’t flashy and you wish to learn more about the man & his mote noteworthy achievement without the time investment of reading a book and want the visual aspect that reading Wikipedia won’t provide—it’s at least worth a shot.