Saturday, July 1, 2023

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Disappoint... I mean, Destiny

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

67% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 304 reviews)

Runtime: 154 minutes, which is a length it did not need to be at

Directed by: James Mangold

Starring: Harrison Ford and various actors of various talent who weren’t always successful in their performances… usually not their fault

From: Disney and Lucasfilm, with Paramount receiving a perfunctory credit

Well… at least a lot of people will be more familiar w/ Archimedes…

This will be a long review so I can’t dwell too long on this but apparently this is the 3,000th review I’ve done here; that’s not 3,000th movie I’ve logged, as some were done more than once. The 3000th film is something I’ll make a big deal out of and hopefully it will be of a classic. As for the Indiana Jones franchise, I’ve been a fan since I was a kid; whether in first-run or revival screenings, all were experienced on the big screen at least once. Crystal Skull was “meh” and probably still is, although in comparison I’ll look at that more favorably from now on.

Long before this was ever released, you probably heard the negative buzz swirling around the film… from its lackluster debut at Cannes, to rumors that I heard for years (no comment on the veracity of that hearsay), to charges of being “woke,” to all those negative YouTubers that hate modern entertainment predicting its doom for months. Now, I don’t like a lot of modern entertainment myself but I’d like to think I am not incredibly sour & bitter as they are; for certain, I don’t have some of their political leanings… some of those folks have made it a career so who knows if it’s just a persona or not. Truth be told, I just heard a roundtable of those folks recapping this film and when there were multiple comments concerning the plot that were actually them missing plot points or for some reason not noticing key moments… this did not help their credibility.

Anyhow, I don’t want to do too much defending of Dial, although I will note some positives. The opening 20 or so minutes were a lot of fun. Via de-aging (which mostly looked fine) Indy and Toby Jones are in 1940’s Europe trying to acquire an artifact from Nazi A-holes, including scientist Mads Mikkelsen. The action was shot too close-a problem throughout the entire film-and the presence of CG belies the spirit of the original trilogy yet I was still satisfied. Then, the rest is in 1969, and the rest was old bitter creaky Indiana Jones and while not the character assassination that we got in The Last Jedi, this is a case where perhaps “those YouTubers” are right and modern entertainment seems to be “let’s embarrass the heroes of the past”.

Then, Ms. Fleabag enters the picture—I don’t hate the person like some do as this was my first time seeing her act on screen and her solo writing credits haven’t been experienced by me before. However, it was the character which I found to be insufferable, not to mention poorly written and it wasn’t fun seeing the relationship between the two. “Wasn’t fun” seems to be the mantra here, despite the action scenes present—and how preposterous they were. Mads as the villain wasn’t given much; that character was just weak in execution as I did not get to get to know him or understand why others would want to follow what is an insane idea unless “he’s a great scientist” was supposed to be enough by this movie’s creators. Things happen but it isn’t too terribly compelling. Then, the final act happens…

In the past I’ve carped about movies “being safe” and not taking narrative risks. To its credit I can’t lay that charge against Dial. Whether or not that decision SHOULD have been made or how effective it was implemented, that can be called into question. Somewhat surprisingly, the bloated runtime didn’t bother me TOO much and even if Teddy was no Short Round, I don’t share the hatred for the character that I’ve already seen in reviews. Thank heavens the “humor” wasn’t overpowering and John Williams delivered a familiar but still stirring score… which may or may not be his last before he will or won’t retire.

Notwithstanding, aside from learning more about Archimedes-and the Dial shown here was actually based on a legit artifact, albeit one whose origins was made quite fanciful-there is not much need for me to ever have this Destiny in my future again as it pales in comparison to the trilogy I’ve loved since I was a kid.

To end this on a positive, the decision to see this film at Disney Springs was the right one. Besides a sold-out crowd, some were cosplaying; this delighted me to no end. The highlight there was a young lady who found or created her own version of Marion Ravenwood’s most famous outfit from Raiders; it was a great facsimile.

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