The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (L'uccello Dalle Piume Di Cristallo) (1970)
Runtime: 96 minutes
Directed by: Dario Argento
Starring: Tony Musante, Suzy Kendall, Enrico Maria Salerno, Eva Renzi, Mario Adorf
From: Central Cinema Company Film
I figured I should watch some sort of horror film on Halloween, and why not one I hadn't seen before, and why not what has been said to be Argento's directorial debut? To steal the plot description for this giallo film from the IMDb:
“Sam an American writer in Rome witnesses a murder attempt on the wife of the owner of an art gallery by a sinister man in a raincoat and black leather gloves - but Sam is powerless to do anything as he gets trapped between a double set of glass doors in going to her aid. The woman survives and the police say that she is the first surviving victim of a notorious serial killer. But when they fail to make any progress with the case Sam decides to investigate on his own turning up several clues that point in the direction of just one possible suspect - assuming that he really knows who hes looking for...”
I've heard this described as a Hitchcockian film and that seems appropriate. A foreigner at first is wrongly accused, he starts investigating himself which seems to put himself in harm's way... the influences are clear to me. Also, things aren't always as they seem.
This is quite the debut. You can say what you wear about the acting or some parts of the plot (really, when you find out what it's all about, it does seem a little far-fetched), but it is well-done overall, from the cinematography to how the film looks, some of the setpieces are cool and the Ennio Morricone score is really good and odd and it fits what you see.
There's some quirky humor too, which kept me amused. For example, there was a scene where Sam had to view a lineup of “perverts”. Yes, that's what they were referred to as. You also find out that the police in Italy don't consider transvestites to be perverts. Progressive for the time. I also laughed at the late 60's computers that are on display and used; wacky. So is seeing Mario Adorf (someone I know for some poliziotteschi films) in a one scene cameo as a very quirky painter who lives in the middle of nowhere, lives with many cats (he's not a cat lady; rather, he eats cats!) and he has giant hair and a full beard. That scene got a big laugh out of me.
I'll be back Saturday night. I am thinking that it's about time for me to finally see another poliziotteschi film.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
An Update
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to watch anything during the weekend. Things were busy and I was tied up in Tampa 2 hours more than expected so that threw everything off. Between that, doing fantasy NBA stuff (hey, the season does start tomorrow) and other things, I might as well just take it easy for this week and not watch anything and not worry about this site until Thursday night, when I will return for what I hope will be an appropriate Halloween review.
Sorry about having to change plans this month, but October has just been wacky for me and not always in a good way. I was hoping to watch more horror films but maybe next year will be better...
Sorry about having to change plans this month, but October has just been wacky for me and not always in a good way. I was hoping to watch more horror films but maybe next year will be better...
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Death Car On The Freeway
Death Car on the Freeway (1979)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: The late Hal Needham
Starring: Shelley Hack, Frank Gorshin, Peter Graves, George Hamilton
From: The Shpetner Company
Here's something unusual from me: an obscure late 70's made for TV movie (made for CBS, to be exact) that I found out about recently; on a podcast I was listening to someone wrote in asking for advice on a movie he saw but did not know its title. He gave some info and evidently he never uses Google as one of the hosts found it right away; it was this movie but the host did not notice that it was from Hal Needham. The movie sounded interesting to watch (think of the old Spielberg movie Duel in terms of plot), has quite the 70's TV cast (besides who I mentioned already, there's Harriet Nelson, a.k.a the mom from the 50's classic Ozzie & Harriet, Dinah Shore, Abe Vigoda, and even Sid Haig) and it sounded horror-related, or at least it's a thriller. But, then I heard yesterday that Mr. Needham passed away and I figured tonight was the perfect time to watch it.
Like I said, the plot is similar to the Spielberg TV movie Duel, from '71. Here, a mysterious person in a bitchin' Dodge van chases after random women on the Los Angeles highway and causes problems. He repaints it to try and thwart the authorities. Lady reporter Janette (Hack) covers the case in a strong way, which causes problems as it's the late 70's so there's rampant sexism from the police chief (Graves) and from her fellow reporter ex-boyfriend (Hamilton) who pretty much acts like Ron Burgundy, but in a serious way. He was a real stubborn A-hole.
There are certainly plenty of vintage cars to watch and enjoy if that's your thing, from that 70's van to a really early Civic (it looks a lot different now... and it's a lot larger too), the much maligned Mustang II and a Chevy Chevette. Oh, and the killer is known as THE FREEWAY FIDDLER. No, he does not fiddle himself while driving. Rather, when he goes on the attack he blasts some crappy country song where the fiddle player is going wild, as if he's Charlie Daniels on a coke binge.
Overall, the movie is fine. If it would have been R then things would have gotten more hardcore and there'd be more of a bite to it. Still, I enjoyed it for what it was and as you can see, various aspects of the film tickled me pink, especially while watching it in late 2013. While there was plenty of sexism to be seen at least it came from rude idiot guys and Janette doesn't accept any of that crap; feminists would of course appreciate such things. She is determined to do things on her own without the help of any man as she tries to stop the Fiddler.
If you want to see a Hal Needham version of Duel (with his trademark car crashes and explosions and other stunts; Hal even has a small role as a stunt driver) where the second unit director was later the director of Action Jackson, Stone Cold, and I Come in Peace-yes, Craig R. Baxley-with some wackiness and some groovy music (typical 70's stuff... I wasn't talking about the fiddle song), then you might as well watch it on YouTube.
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: The late Hal Needham
Starring: Shelley Hack, Frank Gorshin, Peter Graves, George Hamilton
From: The Shpetner Company
Here's something unusual from me: an obscure late 70's made for TV movie (made for CBS, to be exact) that I found out about recently; on a podcast I was listening to someone wrote in asking for advice on a movie he saw but did not know its title. He gave some info and evidently he never uses Google as one of the hosts found it right away; it was this movie but the host did not notice that it was from Hal Needham. The movie sounded interesting to watch (think of the old Spielberg movie Duel in terms of plot), has quite the 70's TV cast (besides who I mentioned already, there's Harriet Nelson, a.k.a the mom from the 50's classic Ozzie & Harriet, Dinah Shore, Abe Vigoda, and even Sid Haig) and it sounded horror-related, or at least it's a thriller. But, then I heard yesterday that Mr. Needham passed away and I figured tonight was the perfect time to watch it.
Like I said, the plot is similar to the Spielberg TV movie Duel, from '71. Here, a mysterious person in a bitchin' Dodge van chases after random women on the Los Angeles highway and causes problems. He repaints it to try and thwart the authorities. Lady reporter Janette (Hack) covers the case in a strong way, which causes problems as it's the late 70's so there's rampant sexism from the police chief (Graves) and from her fellow reporter ex-boyfriend (Hamilton) who pretty much acts like Ron Burgundy, but in a serious way. He was a real stubborn A-hole.
There are certainly plenty of vintage cars to watch and enjoy if that's your thing, from that 70's van to a really early Civic (it looks a lot different now... and it's a lot larger too), the much maligned Mustang II and a Chevy Chevette. Oh, and the killer is known as THE FREEWAY FIDDLER. No, he does not fiddle himself while driving. Rather, when he goes on the attack he blasts some crappy country song where the fiddle player is going wild, as if he's Charlie Daniels on a coke binge.
Overall, the movie is fine. If it would have been R then things would have gotten more hardcore and there'd be more of a bite to it. Still, I enjoyed it for what it was and as you can see, various aspects of the film tickled me pink, especially while watching it in late 2013. While there was plenty of sexism to be seen at least it came from rude idiot guys and Janette doesn't accept any of that crap; feminists would of course appreciate such things. She is determined to do things on her own without the help of any man as she tries to stop the Fiddler.
If you want to see a Hal Needham version of Duel (with his trademark car crashes and explosions and other stunts; Hal even has a small role as a stunt driver) where the second unit director was later the director of Action Jackson, Stone Cold, and I Come in Peace-yes, Craig R. Baxley-with some wackiness and some groovy music (typical 70's stuff... I wasn't talking about the fiddle song), then you might as well watch it on YouTube.
Friday, October 25, 2013
RIP Hal Needham
No review tonight. I'll be going out in a bit. One thing I'll do is have an alcoholic beverage and tip my glass (well, bottle) to Hal Needham, the stuntman/director who passed away today at the age of 82. His most famous work is Smokey & The Bandit, which I saw one time on the big screen a few years ago with Burt Reynolds in attendance (my take on that here).
Tomorrow night, I should return and I plan on watching something obscure from him, which happens to be on YouTube.
Tomorrow night, I should return and I plan on watching something obscure from him, which happens to be on YouTube.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Machete Kills
Machete Kills (2013)
29% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 99 reviews)
Runtime: 107 minutes
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Many people, including Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, & Carlos Estevez
From: Open Road
I still remember first seeing the fake Machete trailer back in '07 and I thought it looked awesome. I then enjoyed Machete which I saw twice on the big screen (including once at a drive-in with the ultimate perfect partner in Piranha), the review you can read here. As I did have a lot of fun with the first movie, I was hoping it'd be the same with the sequel. The fact that I only saw it last night is telling, though. The pretty bad reviews turned me off, and even before that people were complaining about how there were too many characters in the film; turns out they were right...
The plot, via myself: Things happen in the beginning, and Machete is brought to the White House to meet the President (Charlie Sheen, acting under the name on his birth certificate) and he has to go down to Mexico to try and take down a bad guy who wants to blow up Washington. A lot happens and it ends up being tied to a guy with the Bond-esque name of Luthur Voz (Gibson). In fact, the movie has a surprising amount to do with a certain Bond film that I won't spoil as it would reveal quite a bit.
It won't be until tonight but when I do write up my opinion of it on Letterboxd, I'll likely give it 2 and a half stars out of 5. That seems most appropriate. There are things I enjoyed but then there are other things that I thought were just stupid, being over the top but in a dumb and insulting way. It went up and down like a rollercoaster. It was bipoloar, which is ironic given that... but that's another spoiler. What counts as a stupid thing was how Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas all played the same character, El Camaleon. That was just a waste.
There indeed proved to be way too many characters in this movie. That certainly did not help what was a mess of a script, where things are chaotic in a poor way and that has to be a big reason why it was such a flick with mixed results. The fact that it turns sci-fi is just goofy; they did tease that the third film would be set in space! No kidding. With the box office take of this movie, though... who knows if there will be a third Machete movie.
At least there were still things throughout that I enjoyed so I did not hate the movie; I was just disappointed by it. I did enjoy how there were plenty of good-looking women in the film. Alexa Vega certainly has grown up from her Spy Kids days. She is a very pretty lady now. I would have liked more of that character and have some others deleted. I was hoping this'd be one of the best movies of 2013 in my eyes, but nope. Hopefully by the end of this year I'll have a list that will have 10 viable options to make it look good.
I'll be back tomorrow night.
29% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 99 reviews)
Runtime: 107 minutes
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Many people, including Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, & Carlos Estevez
From: Open Road
I still remember first seeing the fake Machete trailer back in '07 and I thought it looked awesome. I then enjoyed Machete which I saw twice on the big screen (including once at a drive-in with the ultimate perfect partner in Piranha), the review you can read here. As I did have a lot of fun with the first movie, I was hoping it'd be the same with the sequel. The fact that I only saw it last night is telling, though. The pretty bad reviews turned me off, and even before that people were complaining about how there were too many characters in the film; turns out they were right...
The plot, via myself: Things happen in the beginning, and Machete is brought to the White House to meet the President (Charlie Sheen, acting under the name on his birth certificate) and he has to go down to Mexico to try and take down a bad guy who wants to blow up Washington. A lot happens and it ends up being tied to a guy with the Bond-esque name of Luthur Voz (Gibson). In fact, the movie has a surprising amount to do with a certain Bond film that I won't spoil as it would reveal quite a bit.
It won't be until tonight but when I do write up my opinion of it on Letterboxd, I'll likely give it 2 and a half stars out of 5. That seems most appropriate. There are things I enjoyed but then there are other things that I thought were just stupid, being over the top but in a dumb and insulting way. It went up and down like a rollercoaster. It was bipoloar, which is ironic given that... but that's another spoiler. What counts as a stupid thing was how Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas all played the same character, El Camaleon. That was just a waste.
There indeed proved to be way too many characters in this movie. That certainly did not help what was a mess of a script, where things are chaotic in a poor way and that has to be a big reason why it was such a flick with mixed results. The fact that it turns sci-fi is just goofy; they did tease that the third film would be set in space! No kidding. With the box office take of this movie, though... who knows if there will be a third Machete movie.
At least there were still things throughout that I enjoyed so I did not hate the movie; I was just disappointed by it. I did enjoy how there were plenty of good-looking women in the film. Alexa Vega certainly has grown up from her Spy Kids days. She is a very pretty lady now. I would have liked more of that character and have some others deleted. I was hoping this'd be one of the best movies of 2013 in my eyes, but nope. Hopefully by the end of this year I'll have a list that will have 10 viable options to make it look good.
I'll be back tomorrow night.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Yep, Another Slight Delay
I will be seeing a big screen movie; I'll be leaving in a matter of minutes to make a short drive to watch Machete Kills. I thought I'd be able to see it in the early evening but I looked today and that changed and I could only watch it in the late evening. Thus, the change in plans.
I WILL be back tomorrow afternoon (probably late afternoon) to talk about that film. Hopefully I enjoy it as much as the first one.
I WILL be back tomorrow afternoon (probably late afternoon) to talk about that film. Hopefully I enjoy it as much as the first one.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Chillerama
Chillerama (2011)
Runtime: 120 minutes
Directed by: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, & Tim Sullivan
Starring: This is a horror anthology, but the most famous faces are Joel David Moore, Eric Roberts, Lin Shaye, Ray Wise, & Kane Hodder
From: Ariescope
This is a horror-comedy anthology I've had on DVD for awhile but I've never watched until tonight. I've heard that the filming of this anthology was a nightmare to film due to it being a low-budget affair and trying to do 4 short movies and put them together with a overarching story... there won't be a Chillerama 2, that is what I gathered.
I wasn't sure what to expect going in. I heard that the overarching story (which ended up also being the final segment of the film) was how the owner of the last drive-in in America was shutting down but not before showing four films in an extravaganza. Right away, I had an issue as there indeed are a decent amount of drive-ins that are still up and running, and trying to say that there are literally none left is pretty stupid. I've been to one in Tampa a few times (including to see Grindhouse, which was pretty awesome and seeing a car full of people go crazy for the ending of Death Proof... it has to be one of my favorite theatre-going experiences) and the Silver Moon Drive-In in Lakeland, I've been to a decent number of times before.
The “plot” is that a drive-in is closing down; it's never said that it's the last one in America, so I don't know why the movie's publicity suggested so... anyhow, the drive-in shows four super-obscure films, that being Wadzilla (yes, Wadzilla), I Was A Teenage Wearbear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein, and the final short was supposed to be Deathication (which revolves all around feces) but the final part of the movie is chaos going on at the drive-in. How it all starts... pretty awful and makes no sense, but that's unfortunately par for the course with this film.It involves blue blood (literally; I don't mean a member of an aristocratic background) and a guy who gets his genitals bitten off but not really finding it all that painful.
Wadzilla is about one sperm that becomes giant-sized and attacks New York City. It's set in the 50's. Think that one segment in Woody Allen's Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask) which ended with Woody and a girl being chased by one giant breast, only it was done much better there and that movie is much better than this one. Eric Roberts appears as General Bukkake. Yeah. That's as “clever” and “matutre” as the humor gets. However, I was amused a few times and this ended up being the best segment in the movie.
The Wearbear one... WOW. And I mean WOW in a bad way. This rivals Hatchet III and Only God Forgives as amongst the worst filmmaking and the hardest bit of footage to get through this year. You start off with it being pretty much incomprehensible and you have no idea what in the blue hell is going on; it takes a few minutes to figure it out. Meanwhile, the movie is set in “1962” and yet you see cars from the late 60's, the 70's and even the 80's. This was horrible, and not in the spoof way either; this is shockingly atrocious filmmaking, and it's a MUSICAL; several songs are sung and they're all terrible in the worst ways and oh yeah, it's about gay werewolves. This really sunk the movie and yet even if you skip that segment, this would still be a poor insufferable film to sit through.
The Anne Frankenstein one... the “joke” is that all the actors are speaking legit German, but Joel David Moore (who plays “Hitler”) speaks gibberish that's supposed to be German but isn't. Yeah, it's even less funny than it sounds. It's just loud and overbearing and a complete 180 from being even smirk-worthy, let alone hilarious and a laugh riot.
You see a few minutes of Deathication and it's all about shit, literally. To describe that segment as “shit” is actually offensive to shit. After that, you get the rest of the film, where chaos is happening at the drive-in and while it is quite graphic, it is also quite not good and quite not funny, unless you enjoy a non-stop assault of lazy and uncreative movie references presented and references in the laziest most ham-fisted ways. Oh, and the thing that happens at the drive-in which causes the chaos... via circumstances too lame to get into, people start turning into zombies... horny zombies. Yes. Maybe if you're 13 you'd find it amusing. Otherwise...
Yeah, I hated this film! I now regret purchasing this film back in 2011, although at least the hand-drawn cover is pretty cool. Unfortunately, the movie seems like the result of a bukkake session among the filmmakers (who are all close buddies) and this wankfest is what you ended up with. If you find Troma movies to be too sophisticated and mature then you should see this. Otherwise, this is a must-avoid. I'll be back on Wednesday night, as I really do need a day of recovery after seeing 2 hours of awfulness in a row.
Runtime: 120 minutes
Directed by: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, & Tim Sullivan
Starring: This is a horror anthology, but the most famous faces are Joel David Moore, Eric Roberts, Lin Shaye, Ray Wise, & Kane Hodder
From: Ariescope
This is a horror-comedy anthology I've had on DVD for awhile but I've never watched until tonight. I've heard that the filming of this anthology was a nightmare to film due to it being a low-budget affair and trying to do 4 short movies and put them together with a overarching story... there won't be a Chillerama 2, that is what I gathered.
I wasn't sure what to expect going in. I heard that the overarching story (which ended up also being the final segment of the film) was how the owner of the last drive-in in America was shutting down but not before showing four films in an extravaganza. Right away, I had an issue as there indeed are a decent amount of drive-ins that are still up and running, and trying to say that there are literally none left is pretty stupid. I've been to one in Tampa a few times (including to see Grindhouse, which was pretty awesome and seeing a car full of people go crazy for the ending of Death Proof... it has to be one of my favorite theatre-going experiences) and the Silver Moon Drive-In in Lakeland, I've been to a decent number of times before.
The “plot” is that a drive-in is closing down; it's never said that it's the last one in America, so I don't know why the movie's publicity suggested so... anyhow, the drive-in shows four super-obscure films, that being Wadzilla (yes, Wadzilla), I Was A Teenage Wearbear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein, and the final short was supposed to be Deathication (which revolves all around feces) but the final part of the movie is chaos going on at the drive-in. How it all starts... pretty awful and makes no sense, but that's unfortunately par for the course with this film.It involves blue blood (literally; I don't mean a member of an aristocratic background) and a guy who gets his genitals bitten off but not really finding it all that painful.
Wadzilla is about one sperm that becomes giant-sized and attacks New York City. It's set in the 50's. Think that one segment in Woody Allen's Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask) which ended with Woody and a girl being chased by one giant breast, only it was done much better there and that movie is much better than this one. Eric Roberts appears as General Bukkake. Yeah. That's as “clever” and “matutre” as the humor gets. However, I was amused a few times and this ended up being the best segment in the movie.
The Wearbear one... WOW. And I mean WOW in a bad way. This rivals Hatchet III and Only God Forgives as amongst the worst filmmaking and the hardest bit of footage to get through this year. You start off with it being pretty much incomprehensible and you have no idea what in the blue hell is going on; it takes a few minutes to figure it out. Meanwhile, the movie is set in “1962” and yet you see cars from the late 60's, the 70's and even the 80's. This was horrible, and not in the spoof way either; this is shockingly atrocious filmmaking, and it's a MUSICAL; several songs are sung and they're all terrible in the worst ways and oh yeah, it's about gay werewolves. This really sunk the movie and yet even if you skip that segment, this would still be a poor insufferable film to sit through.
The Anne Frankenstein one... the “joke” is that all the actors are speaking legit German, but Joel David Moore (who plays “Hitler”) speaks gibberish that's supposed to be German but isn't. Yeah, it's even less funny than it sounds. It's just loud and overbearing and a complete 180 from being even smirk-worthy, let alone hilarious and a laugh riot.
You see a few minutes of Deathication and it's all about shit, literally. To describe that segment as “shit” is actually offensive to shit. After that, you get the rest of the film, where chaos is happening at the drive-in and while it is quite graphic, it is also quite not good and quite not funny, unless you enjoy a non-stop assault of lazy and uncreative movie references presented and references in the laziest most ham-fisted ways. Oh, and the thing that happens at the drive-in which causes the chaos... via circumstances too lame to get into, people start turning into zombies... horny zombies. Yes. Maybe if you're 13 you'd find it amusing. Otherwise...
Yeah, I hated this film! I now regret purchasing this film back in 2011, although at least the hand-drawn cover is pretty cool. Unfortunately, the movie seems like the result of a bukkake session among the filmmakers (who are all close buddies) and this wankfest is what you ended up with. If you find Troma movies to be too sophisticated and mature then you should see this. Otherwise, this is a must-avoid. I'll be back on Wednesday night, as I really do need a day of recovery after seeing 2 hours of awfulness in a row.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Escape From Tomorrow
Escape From Tomorrow (2013)
58% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 54 reviews)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Randy Moore
Starring: Roy Abramsohn, Elena Schuber, Katelynn Rodriguez, Jack Dalton
From: Mankurt Media
I apologize for this going up a few hours late, but things happened. Plus, I did need some time to think of how to describe this movie. I did want to watch this tonight, as it's a horror film and it's a movie with quite the backstory. If you haven't heard, this is a film that was filmed guerrilla style, in black and white with the type of cameras you'd find tourists use, and the scripts on iPads... and oh yeah, this was filmed at Walt Disney World and Disneyland without Disney's permission. Disney amazingly did not sue; maybe it was because they did not want more attention drawn to the movie, but not only did this get shown at places like Sundance, but last Friday it got a limited theatrical release and it's available at sites like Xbox Video, which is how I watched it tonight.
The plot, from the IMDb: “In a world of fake castles and anthropomorphic rodents, an epic battle begins when an unemployed father's sanity is challenged by a chance encounter with two underage girls on holiday.” Needless to say, the theme park it's set at is never flat-out named, although you see footage from some of the rides, some rides are correctly named, and of course you see much footage that was actually filmed at the Magic Kingdom and Epcot. Siemens also gets mentioned by name, oddly enough. As you can tell from the description, it's a psychological surreal horror sort of film.
I knew little about it going in, aside from the basic plot and how there were David Lynch-esque moments. I don't really watch strange surreal films all that often, where strange crap happens and it's never explained, just because... well, this is one of those movies. Strange random crap happens, and it's never explained; I suppose you could say that a lot of it is just a dream, even if the film never flat-out brings that theory up. I won't spoil much in case you ever want to watch it to decide for yourself. I do have to bring up some minor things, though...
While I admire how the movie got made and how it was made available to the point that me and anyone else could watch it on Xbox Video... it doesn't mean it was a movie I really enjoyed; your mileage may vary, but that's just my opinion. I thought it was just weird for weird's sake, it seemed a LOT longer than 90 minutes, and there's no character you really like.
I hope you're not supposed to like the dad, who is the protagonist and got fired from his job that morning. He gets wasted to the point of puking, which I suppose is understandable if you have bratty kids, a nagging wife, and just got fired. However, this man who looks to be in his mid to late 30's starts becoming obsessed with those two underaged girls. It wasn't just “a chance encounter” like the plot describes; once he first lays eyes on those girls, he oogles and goggles them and pretty much stalks them! Honest. He becomes infatuated with them and they both looked like they were no older than 15 years old! What a “hero” to follow. I thought the movie was off-putting at times, to be honest.
It's a shame that I did not really care for it overall (other people will enjoy that bizarre crap more than me) as there are effective shots/moments where you see distorted faces or just odd things. The horribly fake greenscreen shots you see a few times were NOT the effective shots I'm referring to, by the way. I am all for Disney being satirized as while I do enjoy going there, there's also bratty kids, A-hole parents yelling at each other/yelling at their kids, rude people there, usually hot weather, long lines... and the movie did point out all those aspects.
Unfortunately, like I said already it was just weird more than good and the plotting made it seem like it was 190 minutes instead of 90. At least it certainly was a unique experience and a movie I won't forgot, which is something. I'll be back Monday night, as I'll be busy this weekend.
58% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 54 reviews)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Randy Moore
Starring: Roy Abramsohn, Elena Schuber, Katelynn Rodriguez, Jack Dalton
From: Mankurt Media
I apologize for this going up a few hours late, but things happened. Plus, I did need some time to think of how to describe this movie. I did want to watch this tonight, as it's a horror film and it's a movie with quite the backstory. If you haven't heard, this is a film that was filmed guerrilla style, in black and white with the type of cameras you'd find tourists use, and the scripts on iPads... and oh yeah, this was filmed at Walt Disney World and Disneyland without Disney's permission. Disney amazingly did not sue; maybe it was because they did not want more attention drawn to the movie, but not only did this get shown at places like Sundance, but last Friday it got a limited theatrical release and it's available at sites like Xbox Video, which is how I watched it tonight.
The plot, from the IMDb: “In a world of fake castles and anthropomorphic rodents, an epic battle begins when an unemployed father's sanity is challenged by a chance encounter with two underage girls on holiday.” Needless to say, the theme park it's set at is never flat-out named, although you see footage from some of the rides, some rides are correctly named, and of course you see much footage that was actually filmed at the Magic Kingdom and Epcot. Siemens also gets mentioned by name, oddly enough. As you can tell from the description, it's a psychological surreal horror sort of film.
I knew little about it going in, aside from the basic plot and how there were David Lynch-esque moments. I don't really watch strange surreal films all that often, where strange crap happens and it's never explained, just because... well, this is one of those movies. Strange random crap happens, and it's never explained; I suppose you could say that a lot of it is just a dream, even if the film never flat-out brings that theory up. I won't spoil much in case you ever want to watch it to decide for yourself. I do have to bring up some minor things, though...
While I admire how the movie got made and how it was made available to the point that me and anyone else could watch it on Xbox Video... it doesn't mean it was a movie I really enjoyed; your mileage may vary, but that's just my opinion. I thought it was just weird for weird's sake, it seemed a LOT longer than 90 minutes, and there's no character you really like.
I hope you're not supposed to like the dad, who is the protagonist and got fired from his job that morning. He gets wasted to the point of puking, which I suppose is understandable if you have bratty kids, a nagging wife, and just got fired. However, this man who looks to be in his mid to late 30's starts becoming obsessed with those two underaged girls. It wasn't just “a chance encounter” like the plot describes; once he first lays eyes on those girls, he oogles and goggles them and pretty much stalks them! Honest. He becomes infatuated with them and they both looked like they were no older than 15 years old! What a “hero” to follow. I thought the movie was off-putting at times, to be honest.
It's a shame that I did not really care for it overall (other people will enjoy that bizarre crap more than me) as there are effective shots/moments where you see distorted faces or just odd things. The horribly fake greenscreen shots you see a few times were NOT the effective shots I'm referring to, by the way. I am all for Disney being satirized as while I do enjoy going there, there's also bratty kids, A-hole parents yelling at each other/yelling at their kids, rude people there, usually hot weather, long lines... and the movie did point out all those aspects.
Unfortunately, like I said already it was just weird more than good and the plotting made it seem like it was 190 minutes instead of 90. At least it certainly was a unique experience and a movie I won't forgot, which is something. I'll be back Monday night, as I'll be busy this weekend.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Gravity
Gravity (2013)
98% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 244 reviews)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Alfonso Cuaron
Starring: George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, and the voice of Ed Harris
From: Warner Brothers
Yep, I finally saw this last night, and on a giant screen and in 3D, as I was told this was the way to go. Until I heard just about everyone going wild for this, I had no real opinion on the movie; I feel the same about the two stars and even the director, whose movies I had never seen before. I know, I know... I just haven't felt like it; it took him 4 years to make this one, and somehow was able to fight through the usual idiotic studio interference to create what he wanted to; I had no idea or not if it was worth the wait.
You already know the plot now, of how a newbie in space (Bullock) and an astronaut on his last mission (Clooney) experience a catastrophic event, and they have to deal with those nearly impossible conditions. I won't spoil anything past that, except that Bullock's character does have a backstory that some have griped about, as they felt it wasn't needed. I do understand the complaint but it did not bother me too much, and maybe that was the one concession given to the studio; they requested it be more cliché or more what you usually see on the big screen, so that one thing isn't so bad in comparison.
Anyhow, it turns out that I do agree with most people; this is a great movie. It's a unique plot of how you are in one location (space) and it always looks great. It's just a beautiful movie to look at and you actually feel you are in outer space. How they managed to film it I have no idea but for now I'll be happy to remain in the dark.
It's certainly never boring even when you only have a limited number of characters to follow the entire time; it's always tense and exciting due to the situation and throughout you go through a whole lot of different emotions. The performances help make it a hit; the two actors are like, “yeah, whatever” and I don't go out of my way to seek their films. However, they did a great job here and it only further made you believe you were in outer space with them. Besides what I've mentioned already, the sound design and the score also are a perfect match for what you see; it's actually realistic to what you'd hear if you were in outer space, that's how the sound design is.
I am not sure yet how I'll rate it in comparison to the rest of the top movies I've seen. I am thinking this will be the movie for the year for me for it being such a different experience and yet it's very thrilling to watch and it's all so well-done. I am certainly not one who believes the hype in general and I am usually skeptical when I hear people going wild for something, as more often than not I think the hype was too much for what you actually got. This time, though, believe the hype; if you do decide to see it, a giant screen is a must, whether it be AMC's ETX, Regal's RPX, Cinemark XD, the fake IMAX, or the legit thing. All would be appropriate.
I'll be back tomorrow night.
98% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 244 reviews)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Alfonso Cuaron
Starring: George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, and the voice of Ed Harris
From: Warner Brothers
Yep, I finally saw this last night, and on a giant screen and in 3D, as I was told this was the way to go. Until I heard just about everyone going wild for this, I had no real opinion on the movie; I feel the same about the two stars and even the director, whose movies I had never seen before. I know, I know... I just haven't felt like it; it took him 4 years to make this one, and somehow was able to fight through the usual idiotic studio interference to create what he wanted to; I had no idea or not if it was worth the wait.
You already know the plot now, of how a newbie in space (Bullock) and an astronaut on his last mission (Clooney) experience a catastrophic event, and they have to deal with those nearly impossible conditions. I won't spoil anything past that, except that Bullock's character does have a backstory that some have griped about, as they felt it wasn't needed. I do understand the complaint but it did not bother me too much, and maybe that was the one concession given to the studio; they requested it be more cliché or more what you usually see on the big screen, so that one thing isn't so bad in comparison.
Anyhow, it turns out that I do agree with most people; this is a great movie. It's a unique plot of how you are in one location (space) and it always looks great. It's just a beautiful movie to look at and you actually feel you are in outer space. How they managed to film it I have no idea but for now I'll be happy to remain in the dark.
It's certainly never boring even when you only have a limited number of characters to follow the entire time; it's always tense and exciting due to the situation and throughout you go through a whole lot of different emotions. The performances help make it a hit; the two actors are like, “yeah, whatever” and I don't go out of my way to seek their films. However, they did a great job here and it only further made you believe you were in outer space with them. Besides what I've mentioned already, the sound design and the score also are a perfect match for what you see; it's actually realistic to what you'd hear if you were in outer space, that's how the sound design is.
I am not sure yet how I'll rate it in comparison to the rest of the top movies I've seen. I am thinking this will be the movie for the year for me for it being such a different experience and yet it's very thrilling to watch and it's all so well-done. I am certainly not one who believes the hype in general and I am usually skeptical when I hear people going wild for something, as more often than not I think the hype was too much for what you actually got. This time, though, believe the hype; if you do decide to see it, a giant screen is a must, whether it be AMC's ETX, Regal's RPX, Cinemark XD, the fake IMAX, or the legit thing. All would be appropriate.
I'll be back tomorrow night.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
A Rough Outline For The Rest Of The Month
Yeah, no review tonight. Today-besides going out for dinner-has been a day for catching up on podcasts, otherwise I'd end up swamped and down further the rabbit hole and not being able to get out... especially considering that in the next few days I plan on seeing Gravity in 3D and on a giant screen (ideally, tomorrow night, as a matter of fact), Machete Kills (even though there haven't been too many rave reviews for it), and something on Xbox Video; I hope it is still up there Thursday night. There are reasons why I am not 100% that would be the case, which I would explain in the review if I am able to do it.
Also, I'll watch some horror films; maybe not as much as I would have liked for this month, but oh well. I may see a bizarre pairing of movies in 3D on Sunday. It just depends. But, I'll try to not have another one of these nights where I end up not watching anything when I was hoping to do so. I certainly have plenty I could watch horror-wise. It's the process of picking one out that's the bitch and a half for me, to put it bluntly.
Anyhow, I will be back on Thursday afternoon, hopefully with a review of Gravity, a wildly popular movie in every way that I understand is best seen on a giant screen, which I will be doing.
Also, I'll watch some horror films; maybe not as much as I would have liked for this month, but oh well. I may see a bizarre pairing of movies in 3D on Sunday. It just depends. But, I'll try to not have another one of these nights where I end up not watching anything when I was hoping to do so. I certainly have plenty I could watch horror-wise. It's the process of picking one out that's the bitch and a half for me, to put it bluntly.
Anyhow, I will be back on Thursday afternoon, hopefully with a review of Gravity, a wildly popular movie in every way that I understand is best seen on a giant screen, which I will be doing.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
The Last Will & Testament Of Rosalind Leigh
The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh (2012)
Runtime: 80 minutes
Directed by: Rodrigo Gudino
Starring: Aaron Poole, Vanessa Redgrave, Julian Richings, Stephen Eric McIntyre
From: Rue Morgue Cinema
Here is a horror film I first heard about on a podcast earlier in the year, then saw discussed in a messageboard thread, where it got mixed reviews. It sounded different so I was hoping for it to be different in a good way rather than a bad way. It was directed by a newbie, but one who is not only the editor and President of Rue Morgue Magazine, but its founder. So needless to say he's a longtime fan, if nothing else.
The plot, from the IMDb: “An antiques collector inherits a house from his estranged mother only to discover that she had been living in a shrine devoted to a mysterious cult. Soon, he comes to suspect that his mother's oppressive spirit still lingers within her home and is using items in the house to contact him with an urgent message.”
If you do decide to see this, note that it is a S-L-O-W movie and Poole (one review described him as sort of looking like an 80's Phil Collins; this made me laugh) is pretty much the only guy you end up seeing for much of the runtime. The dead mom (Redgrave) you sometimes hear her narrate throughout the movie. A movie being slow is one thing, but a lot like The House of the Devil, it's slow AND boring. It seems like it would have been better off as a short rather than a feature length film. There seems to be a lot of nothing that's padding it out, you know.
I mean, it is filmed technically well (at least in terms of cinematography), the print looks nice, the house is full of odd bric-a-brac so it does come off as being spooky at times (it better, if that's where most of the movie takes place in), although there seems to be too much stuff crammed into every shot and it becomes overkill after awhile; why didn't you try to be subtle there, movie? The score is also show-y and for the most part it was interesting.There's a lot of religious mumbo-jumbo and you can think of that how you will.
I will say that the movie did not really work for me at all. It was just dull and for the most part did not creep me out at all; some of the stuff that was supposed to be scary, it was just hokey and goofy. There's also some really smug and turn-off dialogue involving the dude and his girlfriend, who's a shrink, or a doctor, or something... it was just bad and unappealing dialogue and delivery.
And the ending... it did not end on a high note. Nothing really gets resolved at all! That made watching the movie seem like a giant waste of time as it seemed rather pointless. I mean, it made me wonder why some people have gone wild over this. I did not think this Canadian production was really even all that good overall; no matter how it was filmed or the score, if the story is a whole lot of boring nothing...
I'll be back Tuesday night.
Runtime: 80 minutes
Directed by: Rodrigo Gudino
Starring: Aaron Poole, Vanessa Redgrave, Julian Richings, Stephen Eric McIntyre
From: Rue Morgue Cinema
Here is a horror film I first heard about on a podcast earlier in the year, then saw discussed in a messageboard thread, where it got mixed reviews. It sounded different so I was hoping for it to be different in a good way rather than a bad way. It was directed by a newbie, but one who is not only the editor and President of Rue Morgue Magazine, but its founder. So needless to say he's a longtime fan, if nothing else.
The plot, from the IMDb: “An antiques collector inherits a house from his estranged mother only to discover that she had been living in a shrine devoted to a mysterious cult. Soon, he comes to suspect that his mother's oppressive spirit still lingers within her home and is using items in the house to contact him with an urgent message.”
If you do decide to see this, note that it is a S-L-O-W movie and Poole (one review described him as sort of looking like an 80's Phil Collins; this made me laugh) is pretty much the only guy you end up seeing for much of the runtime. The dead mom (Redgrave) you sometimes hear her narrate throughout the movie. A movie being slow is one thing, but a lot like The House of the Devil, it's slow AND boring. It seems like it would have been better off as a short rather than a feature length film. There seems to be a lot of nothing that's padding it out, you know.
I mean, it is filmed technically well (at least in terms of cinematography), the print looks nice, the house is full of odd bric-a-brac so it does come off as being spooky at times (it better, if that's where most of the movie takes place in), although there seems to be too much stuff crammed into every shot and it becomes overkill after awhile; why didn't you try to be subtle there, movie? The score is also show-y and for the most part it was interesting.There's a lot of religious mumbo-jumbo and you can think of that how you will.
I will say that the movie did not really work for me at all. It was just dull and for the most part did not creep me out at all; some of the stuff that was supposed to be scary, it was just hokey and goofy. There's also some really smug and turn-off dialogue involving the dude and his girlfriend, who's a shrink, or a doctor, or something... it was just bad and unappealing dialogue and delivery.
And the ending... it did not end on a high note. Nothing really gets resolved at all! That made watching the movie seem like a giant waste of time as it seemed rather pointless. I mean, it made me wonder why some people have gone wild over this. I did not think this Canadian production was really even all that good overall; no matter how it was filmed or the score, if the story is a whole lot of boring nothing...
I'll be back Tuesday night.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (2010)
Runtime: 240 minutes
Directed by: Daniel Farrands & Andrew Kasch
Starring: Many of the people who made those films, just not the real famous ones; it is narrated by Heather Langenkamp
From: 1428 Films
Here's a documentary I've heard all about even before it was released in 2010; I found the DVD last year at a MovieStop store. Finally, last night I sat down and I watched this 4 hour documentary, which tells in chronological order the history of the franchise; each film gets plenty of time in the spotlight as they show behind the scene stuff and interviews; they are candid, too, as people are willing to admit if one of the entries was a disappointment or downright bad. Many people are interviewed and it's pretty comprehensive. Of course the real famous people (such as Johnny Depp, Laurence Fishburne, or Patricia Arquette) aren't interviewed but that's to be expected.
It's all produced and put together very well, and it is 4 hours that fly by pretty quickly as to me at least it's always interesting and informative. If you dig the franchise as a whole then this is a must-see. I haven't seen any of the special features but I'll presume they are all at least good. There's even some cool stop motion animation that is used throughout.
I have heard podcasts with several of the people involved with the production, and I do know that it was a small production, so putting everything together in a short amount of time was like the Bataan Death March for the main people involved; I am talking about much stress and going who knows how many nights in a row with little to no sleep. I am happy then that things turned out as well as they did. Also, Ronee Lee Blakely (the mom in the first movie) wasn't interviewed for a good reason; when she showed up for the interview she acted REALLY horribly, being totally unreasonable and treating the crew like crap; finally the head honcho in charge had enough and demanded she leave. Apparently she acted not so great back in her heyday, too, which may explain why her heyday did not last so long.
Anyhow, there isn't too much left to say except that this documentary was as great as I've been hearing for years now, and I imagine the same crew's new documentary Crystal Lake Memories is just as good if not even better. I'll be back tomorrow night.
Runtime: 240 minutes
Directed by: Daniel Farrands & Andrew Kasch
Starring: Many of the people who made those films, just not the real famous ones; it is narrated by Heather Langenkamp
From: 1428 Films
Here's a documentary I've heard all about even before it was released in 2010; I found the DVD last year at a MovieStop store. Finally, last night I sat down and I watched this 4 hour documentary, which tells in chronological order the history of the franchise; each film gets plenty of time in the spotlight as they show behind the scene stuff and interviews; they are candid, too, as people are willing to admit if one of the entries was a disappointment or downright bad. Many people are interviewed and it's pretty comprehensive. Of course the real famous people (such as Johnny Depp, Laurence Fishburne, or Patricia Arquette) aren't interviewed but that's to be expected.
It's all produced and put together very well, and it is 4 hours that fly by pretty quickly as to me at least it's always interesting and informative. If you dig the franchise as a whole then this is a must-see. I haven't seen any of the special features but I'll presume they are all at least good. There's even some cool stop motion animation that is used throughout.
I have heard podcasts with several of the people involved with the production, and I do know that it was a small production, so putting everything together in a short amount of time was like the Bataan Death March for the main people involved; I am talking about much stress and going who knows how many nights in a row with little to no sleep. I am happy then that things turned out as well as they did. Also, Ronee Lee Blakely (the mom in the first movie) wasn't interviewed for a good reason; when she showed up for the interview she acted REALLY horribly, being totally unreasonable and treating the crew like crap; finally the head honcho in charge had enough and demanded she leave. Apparently she acted not so great back in her heyday, too, which may explain why her heyday did not last so long.
Anyhow, there isn't too much left to say except that this documentary was as great as I've been hearing for years now, and I imagine the same crew's new documentary Crystal Lake Memories is just as good if not even better. I'll be back tomorrow night.
Friday, October 11, 2013
A Change of Plans
I really hate doing it, but I was going to spend the last hour or so typing up what I wanted to type up, but then I had to take an important phone call and I dealt with that for awhile; so, I figured it would be best not to rush to do it and post it in the wee hours of the morning and I'll just post it tomorrow night, barring something even more major or out of the ordinary.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
His Name Was Jason: 30 Years Of Friday The 13th
His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th (2009)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Daniel Farrands
Starring: People from the franchise being interviewed
From: Masimedia
So yeah, I DID watch something Jason Voorhees related, but this is a documentary about the franchise. I figured I should revisit this as when I return on Friday night (hey, tomorrow night is a UFC show on TV and Thursday night is the Chicago Bears playing so I'll be busy on those nights) I'll talk about watching Never Sleep Again, a 4 hour (not including special features) documentary from most of the same people involved with this which I have never watched before. Eventually (hopefully it's soon rather than later) I'll watch the latest effort from that core group, the 400 minute (!) without special features documentary known as Crystal Lake Memories. I'll explain...
The feature documentary is only 90 minutes, which when you consider covers like a dozen different movies, that's pretty short and it's far from comprehensive. I discovered this after the fact from listening to podcasts which featured the core people who ended up making Never Sleep Ahead and Crystal Lake Memories, but there was strong interference from an unnamed producer who caused a lot of problems with His Name Was Jason, and that's why you ended up with a 90 minute documentary feature that was fine as a cursory glance at the franchise but it was far from being awesome in covering such a colorful and storied franchise.
If you do decide to watch this, try to find it on DVD in a 2 disc collection, as while you may be disappointed with the documentary itself (why some people not involved with the franchise were interviewed, I am not quite sure; Seth Green is but one example), there ARE special features which I've seen before (but not yet this week; I'll do that tomorrow) which are interesting as they are additional interview time with the people involved in the films and in an ideal world, they would have been in the docu, but alas... at least I do hear that with the meddlesome producer out of the picture, Never Sleep Again and Crystal Lake Memories are definitely better and worth seeing if you enjoy both Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger.
Like I said, I'll be back Friday night.
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directed by: Daniel Farrands
Starring: People from the franchise being interviewed
From: Masimedia
So yeah, I DID watch something Jason Voorhees related, but this is a documentary about the franchise. I figured I should revisit this as when I return on Friday night (hey, tomorrow night is a UFC show on TV and Thursday night is the Chicago Bears playing so I'll be busy on those nights) I'll talk about watching Never Sleep Again, a 4 hour (not including special features) documentary from most of the same people involved with this which I have never watched before. Eventually (hopefully it's soon rather than later) I'll watch the latest effort from that core group, the 400 minute (!) without special features documentary known as Crystal Lake Memories. I'll explain...
The feature documentary is only 90 minutes, which when you consider covers like a dozen different movies, that's pretty short and it's far from comprehensive. I discovered this after the fact from listening to podcasts which featured the core people who ended up making Never Sleep Ahead and Crystal Lake Memories, but there was strong interference from an unnamed producer who caused a lot of problems with His Name Was Jason, and that's why you ended up with a 90 minute documentary feature that was fine as a cursory glance at the franchise but it was far from being awesome in covering such a colorful and storied franchise.
If you do decide to watch this, try to find it on DVD in a 2 disc collection, as while you may be disappointed with the documentary itself (why some people not involved with the franchise were interviewed, I am not quite sure; Seth Green is but one example), there ARE special features which I've seen before (but not yet this week; I'll do that tomorrow) which are interesting as they are additional interview time with the people involved in the films and in an ideal world, they would have been in the docu, but alas... at least I do hear that with the meddlesome producer out of the picture, Never Sleep Again and Crystal Lake Memories are definitely better and worth seeing if you enjoy both Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger.
Like I said, I'll be back Friday night.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
Runtime: 92 minutes
Directed by: Danny Steinmann
Starring: John Shepherd, Melanie Kinnaman, Richard Young Shavar Ross
From: Paramount
This is not what I was planning on watching tonight; that's just how things worked out. I got off to a later start than I was hoping... I don't even want to get into it. Anyhow, I rewatched this movie, among my least favorite of the franchise; I'll explain why I feel the way I do. I don't know about everyone else but me, I don't hate it because it's the Friday movie where there's no Jason and it isn't his mother but instead it's a random dude.
The plot, written by me: Tommy Jarvis (Shepherd) is now a few years away from killing Jason Voorhees; he's now mentally disturbed and somehow he goes from a mental hospital to a rehab center out in the woods; yep, great idea to bring him back to the woods after the events of the last film... and he is clearly more disturbed than most of the teenagers who are there. How did he get out of the mental hospital, anyhow? I do not know how much older he is, BTW, which does mess up with people's timelines in trying to figure out in what years all the movies happen.
Anyhow, the other teens there include someone with anger issues (enough to kill an annoying fat kid), but two teens whose biggest affliction appear to be “horniness”, then there's a punk girl, Not Pauly Shore who stutters but that's about it, and Bootleg Kerri Green. I really have no idea what the mental issues are of most of the people there, as they are never explained and Tommy is clearly more disturbed than anyone else. But it doesn't really matter as you don't spend much time with them except to see them killed, and not even as much time is spent with Tommy as you'd think.
Instead you're distracted with such things as Reggie, an annoying young black kid (Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes) who is there visiting his grandfather, and brief appearances with several random characters who don't really mean anything at all. Sure, some of them are amusing, such as Reggie's older brother DEMON (apparently living in a 70's van and sporting a jheri curl); a redneck mother and son (that appear to be the exact same age) are NOT amusing; in fact, they are way overbearing awful caricatures. Then there's a drifter and some greasers straight out of the 50's who are dressed like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones and say, "Rat-a-tat-tooey"... point is, it's hard to care about anyone. Not even Billy the horny middle-aged balding mustached orderly who is funny and enjoys snorting coke.
While there are some pretty cool kills, it doesn't really matter overall. The story is crap and so are the characters. The climax is mostly a middle-aged woman (Pam) who helps run the halfway house and annoying Reggie in his red 80's sweatsuit. Tommy isn't as big a factor as you'd expect, or hope. Young Mr. Jarvis actually speaks about as much as Ryan Gosling does in Only God Forgives, meaning hardly at all. I heard that Gosling only had 22 lines in the movie, which sounds about right. I also heard that Tommy here speaks only about 26 words in the entire film, which also sounds right.
Let me spoil things here with this bad 28 year old movie. Of course the killer isn't Jason Voorhees as he is dead. Instead it's the secret father of the fat annoying kid who picked up the corpse (as he's an ambulance driver) and he snapped at this. Motivations are understandable from that point, but why he decided to be Jason was incredibly weak and nonsensical, and I am not sure why at times the father (who looks like Lou Ferrigno) has similar powers to the incredibly strong and powerful mongoloid that Jason was in 2 through 4 before he was resurrected as an unstoppable zombie in 6. Many of the kills also come off as incredibly random and coincidental once you know who the killer is.
There is intentional and unintentional humor, such as how most of the women in this movie quite clearly did not wear any bras (there are several naturally large pairs of hooters in this movie, to be honest) or how you hear a Pseudo Echo song that wasn't their cover of Funky Town, but this is still one of the weakest in the franchise for reasons other than who the killer really is and hopefully have been conveyed well by me... at least I would rather watch it than Only God Forgives!
I'll be back tomorrow night, and likely not with a Jason Voorhees film.
Runtime: 92 minutes
Directed by: Danny Steinmann
Starring: John Shepherd, Melanie Kinnaman, Richard Young Shavar Ross
From: Paramount
This is not what I was planning on watching tonight; that's just how things worked out. I got off to a later start than I was hoping... I don't even want to get into it. Anyhow, I rewatched this movie, among my least favorite of the franchise; I'll explain why I feel the way I do. I don't know about everyone else but me, I don't hate it because it's the Friday movie where there's no Jason and it isn't his mother but instead it's a random dude.
The plot, written by me: Tommy Jarvis (Shepherd) is now a few years away from killing Jason Voorhees; he's now mentally disturbed and somehow he goes from a mental hospital to a rehab center out in the woods; yep, great idea to bring him back to the woods after the events of the last film... and he is clearly more disturbed than most of the teenagers who are there. How did he get out of the mental hospital, anyhow? I do not know how much older he is, BTW, which does mess up with people's timelines in trying to figure out in what years all the movies happen.
Anyhow, the other teens there include someone with anger issues (enough to kill an annoying fat kid), but two teens whose biggest affliction appear to be “horniness”, then there's a punk girl, Not Pauly Shore who stutters but that's about it, and Bootleg Kerri Green. I really have no idea what the mental issues are of most of the people there, as they are never explained and Tommy is clearly more disturbed than anyone else. But it doesn't really matter as you don't spend much time with them except to see them killed, and not even as much time is spent with Tommy as you'd think.
Instead you're distracted with such things as Reggie, an annoying young black kid (Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes) who is there visiting his grandfather, and brief appearances with several random characters who don't really mean anything at all. Sure, some of them are amusing, such as Reggie's older brother DEMON (apparently living in a 70's van and sporting a jheri curl); a redneck mother and son (that appear to be the exact same age) are NOT amusing; in fact, they are way overbearing awful caricatures. Then there's a drifter and some greasers straight out of the 50's who are dressed like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones and say, "Rat-a-tat-tooey"... point is, it's hard to care about anyone. Not even Billy the horny middle-aged balding mustached orderly who is funny and enjoys snorting coke.
While there are some pretty cool kills, it doesn't really matter overall. The story is crap and so are the characters. The climax is mostly a middle-aged woman (Pam) who helps run the halfway house and annoying Reggie in his red 80's sweatsuit. Tommy isn't as big a factor as you'd expect, or hope. Young Mr. Jarvis actually speaks about as much as Ryan Gosling does in Only God Forgives, meaning hardly at all. I heard that Gosling only had 22 lines in the movie, which sounds about right. I also heard that Tommy here speaks only about 26 words in the entire film, which also sounds right.
Let me spoil things here with this bad 28 year old movie. Of course the killer isn't Jason Voorhees as he is dead. Instead it's the secret father of the fat annoying kid who picked up the corpse (as he's an ambulance driver) and he snapped at this. Motivations are understandable from that point, but why he decided to be Jason was incredibly weak and nonsensical, and I am not sure why at times the father (who looks like Lou Ferrigno) has similar powers to the incredibly strong and powerful mongoloid that Jason was in 2 through 4 before he was resurrected as an unstoppable zombie in 6. Many of the kills also come off as incredibly random and coincidental once you know who the killer is.
There is intentional and unintentional humor, such as how most of the women in this movie quite clearly did not wear any bras (there are several naturally large pairs of hooters in this movie, to be honest) or how you hear a Pseudo Echo song that wasn't their cover of Funky Town, but this is still one of the weakest in the franchise for reasons other than who the killer really is and hopefully have been conveyed well by me... at least I would rather watch it than Only God Forgives!
I'll be back tomorrow night, and likely not with a Jason Voorhees film.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Yep... Internet Problems!
No, it's not on my end. Instead, blame the crap service known as Crackle. The movie I talked about last night (Crazy Joe) is on their website and on their YouTube page in separate videos. However, the YouTube video doesn't even play; the video on Crackle's page does play and the print looks fine and all... problem is, the video has no sound! I kid you not.
So yeah, I am NOT happy about that development at all. I don't feel like watching anything tonight after having my hopes dashed in such a matter. Instead, I'll finish other things, watch this current football game and the real late night one, and tomorrow I will have some sort of review up, come hell or high water, or some sort of major emergency. I really need to get going on my horror watching.
So yeah, I am NOT happy about that development at all. I don't feel like watching anything tonight after having my hopes dashed in such a matter. Instead, I'll finish other things, watch this current football game and the real late night one, and tomorrow I will have some sort of review up, come hell or high water, or some sort of major emergency. I really need to get going on my horror watching.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Sorry, But A Change Of Plans
Today's been fine for me, but I feel tired and I don't have enough time (I went out and about late in the afternoon and early in the evening) to watch what I want to, which isn't even what I was planning to watch. So, Sunday night before midnight, unless I have some sort of Internet problems-I am going to watch something online but it's ethical, as it's for free on Crackle-I'll be talking about a non-horror film but one that sounds interesting to me upon first hearing about it literally minutes ago.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Friday The 13th: The "Final" Chapter
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Joseph Zito
Starring: Kimberly Beck, Peter Barton, Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover
From: Paramount
It's been awhile since I've talked about a Friday the 13th movie so I figured as I am mainly going to talk about horror movies this month (I am creating a list on Letterboxd where I'll list and talk about those films; as of now I am not sure as all what I'll be watching in October, aside from probably at least one more Jason Voorhees movie and another movie or two already in the slot), I might as well start with one of my favorites of the entire franchise.
I really don't need to go over the plot, do I? You should know by now that magically in a morgue while a dirty morgue doctor named AXEL goofs around, a killed at the end of Part 3D Jason Voorhees is revived and he leaves there to go back to the area of Camp Crystal Lake where he goes after some horny teenagers living in a house for the summer and some regular residents of the area, including young horror fan Tommy Jarvis (Feldman).
There are many memorable moments, from Axel watching those early 80's “exercise” videos on Showtime that was basically softcore porn, to all the attractive women in the cast/nudity, from someone telling Crispin via his “computer” that he is a “dead f***” to Crispin's bizarre dancing to the LOL-worthy song Love is a Lie (by Lion), from the old stag film that was shown to Jason Voorhees and his interesting/nice kills... that along with nice direction makes this one of the best in the series, at least in my eyes... and the eyes of many other horror fans. All the humor (intentional and unintentional) helps too.
I know, in hindsight LOL to claims of it being “the final chapter”, but those retirements are like retirements in other fields such as sports or entertainment; most of the time they go back on those retirements and they return until they can't go no more (such as death or just hanging on too long until they just aren't good enough); is the same true for the series? There hasn't been one in almost 5 years-good one, Platinum Dunes-and just this week rumors have started up about doing a new one, but found footage style. It'll be different, but it doesn't mean it'll be worthwhile.
Anyhow, I'll be back Saturday night.
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Joseph Zito
Starring: Kimberly Beck, Peter Barton, Corey Feldman, Crispin Glover
From: Paramount
It's been awhile since I've talked about a Friday the 13th movie so I figured as I am mainly going to talk about horror movies this month (I am creating a list on Letterboxd where I'll list and talk about those films; as of now I am not sure as all what I'll be watching in October, aside from probably at least one more Jason Voorhees movie and another movie or two already in the slot), I might as well start with one of my favorites of the entire franchise.
I really don't need to go over the plot, do I? You should know by now that magically in a morgue while a dirty morgue doctor named AXEL goofs around, a killed at the end of Part 3D Jason Voorhees is revived and he leaves there to go back to the area of Camp Crystal Lake where he goes after some horny teenagers living in a house for the summer and some regular residents of the area, including young horror fan Tommy Jarvis (Feldman).
There are many memorable moments, from Axel watching those early 80's “exercise” videos on Showtime that was basically softcore porn, to all the attractive women in the cast/nudity, from someone telling Crispin via his “computer” that he is a “dead f***” to Crispin's bizarre dancing to the LOL-worthy song Love is a Lie (by Lion), from the old stag film that was shown to Jason Voorhees and his interesting/nice kills... that along with nice direction makes this one of the best in the series, at least in my eyes... and the eyes of many other horror fans. All the humor (intentional and unintentional) helps too.
I know, in hindsight LOL to claims of it being “the final chapter”, but those retirements are like retirements in other fields such as sports or entertainment; most of the time they go back on those retirements and they return until they can't go no more (such as death or just hanging on too long until they just aren't good enough); is the same true for the series? There hasn't been one in almost 5 years-good one, Platinum Dunes-and just this week rumors have started up about doing a new one, but found footage style. It'll be different, but it doesn't mean it'll be worthwhile.
Anyhow, I'll be back Saturday night.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
I Talk About Attack The Block For Letterboxd
Like I promised last night, I decided to write up something new for the movie Attack the Block, which I have loved since I first saw it in '11 and reviewed it here.
I won't copy and paste what I wrote on Letterboxd as it was long (as least for me on that site) and by telling you to click here to read it, you can click around and look at my entire profile and see how I rated various movies. I'll just say that I still think the movie is as awesome the glowing review I gave it two years ago.
I'll be back Thursday night.
I won't copy and paste what I wrote on Letterboxd as it was long (as least for me on that site) and by telling you to click here to read it, you can click around and look at my entire profile and see how I rated various movies. I'll just say that I still think the movie is as awesome the glowing review I gave it two years ago.
I'll be back Thursday night.
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