That's the Way of the World

That's the Way of the World (1975)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Sig Shore

Starring: Harvey Keitel, Cynthia Bostick, Ed Nelson, Bert Parks, Earth, Wind & Fire

From: United Artists

How could I not watch a film starring Harvey Keitel w/ Earth Wind & Fire?

I've known of That's the Way of the World for years; it's not always been available for easy streaming online & there are only rare showings on channels like TCM. Well, on the 21st night of September-I saw what they did there-the Shout Studios YouTube channel uploaded the film. I also had to view this film before September ends.

It was only after I started the film did I realize it was an edited for TV version of the film. Despite my comments made throughout 2026, I am not against vulgarities in general. I don't mind some cursing; there was groans early on which I saw & heard some rather obvious S-bombs dubbed over. It would have been better if the upload made it clear that the print wasn't uncut & was modified, that's all. At least there didn't appear to be that much cursing throughout so that never became a major issue.

Keitel is COLEMAN BUCKMASTER (what a name) who is a great producer for A-Chord Records. He wants to continue making songs for EWF (excuse me... they are creatively known as THE GROUP here) but his bosses want him to work for The Pages, who are a bland, safe act comparable to The Carpenters... not bad and a safe act for the conservative owners but to him it's a bland, soulless pastiche. Personally, I also prefer the dynamite sound of EWF. Yes, from the bosses of the label there's rather thinly-veiled racism concerning a Black act.

That's the Way of the World (the film, not the great album of the same name which served as the soundtrack for the movie) is best when the viewer hears the songs from the album. The title track and Shining Star are the two most famous tunes. The plot itself-concerning Coleman's frustrations that he doesn't have his freedom and is forced to work on music he doesn't care for-is fine, mellow, methodical in its pace.

It was interesting to see how a song is made in the studio. However, to address a valid criticism I saw elsewhere, it's a curious irony in a film that obliquely addresses racism in music, that there isn't as much of EWF on screen or even on the soundtrack as you'd prefer. C'est la vie, for those that'd be interested in seeing Keitel either shirtless or wearing a tight top, the movie does give you that! Ol' Harvey turned 87 this year; I'm happy to give him his props while he is still alive... what a talented actor that's been enjoyed for years now. Hopefully he's alive for years to come and I'm glad he's still on screen but who know what could happen when you're not that far away from your 90's.

In any event, this was a naturally cynical look at the music business-which yes does explicitly address some horrifying predatory behavior; it is flawed for certain yet of course I would laugh at the 70's fashion-that one of the guys in The Pages wore a shirt w/ the Coca-Cola label except it says ENJOY COCAINE-or the girl in the Pages is known as VELOUR PAGE or the scene at a roller rink where The Group perform in the middle of the rink. I wasn't sure why the movie fired strays at Janis Joplin, but...

Diablo

Diablo (2025)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Ernesto Diaz Espinoza

Starring: Scott Adkins, Marko Zaror, Alanna de la Rossa, Lucho Velasco, Diana Hoyos

From: Many different companies

I was happy to see a new to me low-budget action picture starring both British actor/martial artist Scott Adkins and Chilean actor/martial artist Marko Zaror. The former has had roles in the likes of John Wick 4 and Doctor Strange while the latter was in Machete Kills... and John Wick 4. As stated on numerous occasions, it's a shame that cinema has regressed from the good old days where martial artists like them or a Michael Jai White could have a theatrical career making entertaining action flicks for the big screen.

This project had heavy involvement from the two leads. Adkins portrays a dude who goes to Colombia (where the film was shot by a Colombian crew) to kidnap the teen daughter of a pretty bad dude. Yes, the “kidnapping” isn't as sinister as it first appears; Zaror portrays a psychopath, whose distinguishing feature isn't the hysterical balding look he sports nor how the viewer will blatantly be reminded of the T-800. Rather, it's... he has a hook for a left hand that can also be either a metal fist or a knife!

There are some silly moments, the plot doesn't reinvent the wheel and the pedantic could nitpick... which perhaps I've done with cinema a time or two before... Me, I had a pretty good time. The Colombian setting was a nice change of pace. The movie was shot well & had plenty of what I wanted... brawls, martial arts, gunfights, etc. I also wanted to see Dudes Getting Wrecked (TM) and epic fights between the two leads; Diablo delivered on those promises as well with the cinematography changing when the action beats drop. As they were filmed in a dynamic manner that made the viewer feel each impact, I was more than satisfied.

Diablo wasn't an insufferable film that was overlong or filled w/ aggravating characters or ruined by “modern humor” that isn't funny and ruins the mood nor is it nonstop cursing as if someone or everyone is John Davidson... this is the sort of action film there needs to be more of in 2027 & beyond.

 

Monster from Green Hell

Monster from Green Hell (1957)

Runtime: 70 minutes

Directed by: Kenneth G. Crane

Starring: Jim Davis, Robert Griffin, Joel Fluellen, Barbara Turner, Eduardo Ciannelli

From: Gross-Krasne Productions

Am I the only one that remembers 1995's Attack of the Killer B-Movies?

It was a 1995 special that played September 2nd of that year (a Saturday) on NBC which was like MST3K (Frank Conniff was involved) except that they played four edited B-movies over a two hour block and they cut away to some stars of NBC's teen-centric shows at the time-including Dustin Diamond!-and Elvira. This was one of the four movies on the special; I didn't remember that was the case until last night as it has been 31 years. The other three were The Wasp Woman, Killers from Space, and The Navy vs. The Night Monsters. Only the last film was remembered... how can you forget something called THE NAVY vs. THE NIGHT MONSTERS?

Concerning Monster from Green Hell... the Americans fire up a pair of rockets into space carrying various animals as a precursor to discover whether humans could survive in space. Of course it goes wrong; one of the rockets crashes back to Earth, in “Africa.” “Space radiation” creates the giant wasps. Of course, there's a white doctor who has lived among “the hostile natives” for years and those natives are about as stereotypical as you'd expect for a B (or is that BEE?)-movie released in 1957 America on a double-bill w/ an edited dubbed version of the Toho Abominable Snowman film Half Human. In fact, there's a feared region known as Green Hell. The Black folk are portrayed as the superstitious type, unsurprisingly for the era.

Naturally, this is silly trash filled with stock footage, sometimes combined rather obviously with the wasp model, which at least didn't look bad. Heck, I was even a little pleasantly surprised that the region of Africa most of the movie's set in was a real location rather than a fake country or worst of all, never identified beyond “Africa” as if it's all one country. It's what was a territory then but in 1960 became the country of Gabon.

As typical for a 50's monster movie w/ hardly any budget, the monster isn't shown as much as perhaps the viewer-especially a modern one-would prefer. You can nitpick how plenty of time is eaten up by the two white scientists from America traveling 400 miles by foot to reach the village. The stock sound effects of “African animals” played at a near-constant rhythm is silly. Be that as it may, this was not incompetent like a Robot Monster or something from a Coleman Francis production. This was competent programming featuring acceptable effects designed for the drive-in movie crowd that presumably also did alright in later television viewings.

The film does have two cast members of some renown. Lead actor Jim Davis later created Garfield... no, this Jim Davis was Jock Ewing during the early days of the old TV show Dallas. Barbara Turner was an actor and screenwriter for decades (mainly in television) & also was the mom of Jennifer Jason Leigh—there is a resemblance.

Yes, it's hysterical that the giant wasps in Monster from Green Hell NEVER FLY; unless you have apiphobia, if especially you enjoy these B-movie 50's sci-fi pictures, you might think Green Hell is at least OK.

The House by the Cemetery

The House by the Cemetery (Quella Villa Accanto Al Cimitero) (1981)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Lucio Fulci

Starring: Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Ania Pieroni, Giovanni Frezza, Silvia Collatina

From: Fulvia Film

It was about time I finally saw the third & final movie in Lucio Fulci's The Gates of Hell trilogy, right? The Beyond and City of the Dead are movies I like yet don't love like most others do. Give me Zombie, Don't Torture a Duckling, and The New York Ripper instead. That said, it was long overdue to complete the trilogy. Amusingly enough, I have seen kid actors Giovanni Frezza and Silvia Collatina in The New Barbarians and The Great Alligator earlier in the year; time for me to view their most famous roles.

This movie will remind you-regardless of intent-of The Shining. A doctor moves his family to a Boston-area home to complete the research of his late colleague. Well, the late doctor committed suicide after killing his mistress in the house; the son of the family (BOB; not Bobby, nor Robert, nor Robby, but BOB) is a little boy who sees a spooky little redhead girl named Mae that foretells doom.

Yes, it's a Fulci so you don't want to scrutinize the plot or logic too hard. As typical, adults dubbing the children in an old Italian genre effort is always hysterical. The plot & logic can be wonky here yet this haunted house tale inspired by M.R. James & Lovecraft concerning the lore of the place-tied to a Dr. Freudstein-still has the sort of spooky vibes I dig while still delivering the gory moments you'd expect from the director. There's a great cobweb-strewn cellar in the house which sets a great mood which coexists w/ such wacky moments as the most tenacious bat in cinematic history.

Helping is that the story is relatively straightforward & not a convoluted mess full of disconnected scenes like I feel City of the Dead and Beyond were. A creepy villain reveal is also a nice asset, as is the typical unforgettable Italian genre score-Walter Rizzati and an uncredited Allesandro Blonksteiner in this case. In hindsight, Cemetery should have been viewed sometime sooner than 2021, which is when The Beyond was tackled in full. Alas...

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (La Dama Rossa Uccide Sette Volte) (1972)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Emilio Miraglia

Starring: Barbara Bouchet, Ugo Pagliai, Marina Malfatti, Marino Mase, Pia Giancaro

From: Several different European companies

It's been too long since any giallo films have been viewed; this certainly was a genre example—complimentary. It shouldn't be the only giallo I review the rest of the year, nor the only picture I view on Arrow's streaming platform.

The opening is set in 1958 at a castle, a pair of sisters arguing and fighting w/ each other more harshly than should be expected of a sisterly relationship; they are raised by their wheelchair-bound grandfather. He tells them lore after they ask about a creepy painting. There's a curse each century where as revenge for the Black Queen murdering her abusive sis the Red Queen, the Red Queen does in fact kill seven people, the Black Queen saved for last.

Flash-forward to '72 & of course, a woman clad in a red cloak is murdering SOB's, whether it be via stabbing or other methods. There's what I expected from the genre: a detective investigating the murders, red (cloaked) herrings, sleaze, a bottle of J&B whiskey in the background-as it was for most Italian genre movies of the 70's-sleaze, atmospheric settings, a convoluted plot, and more sleaze. The most famous names were Barbara Bouchet and Sybil Danning; both are shown naked-no one should be surprised the latter took off her clothing!

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times isn't the best of its type yet the German castle/village/city setting added nice flavor, there's nice cinematography, & the killer bellows a crazed laugh after each kill. A bonus for someone like me is some hysterical period fashion, perhaps appropriate for some of the leads working at a fashion house. Shame on me for not viewing any giallo flicks as of late until now.

Ninja Terminator

Ninja Terminator (1985)

Runtime: 88 mesmerizing minutes

Directed by: Godfrey Ho... well, part of it at least

Starring: Richard Harrison (RIP), Jack Lam, Hwang Jan-Lee, Phillip Ko Fai, Jonathan Wattis

From: IFD Films & Arts, Ltd.

RIP Richard Harrison

Wednesday night, it was announced that Harrison had passed away Friday the 18th at the age of 90. Somehow, despite my viewings of many films from Italy, the Philippines & other countries, this was my first film of his. He made many dozens of B-movies (and lower-grade) for decades; due in part to meme reasons, Ninja Terminator is one of his most (in)famous movies now, which coincides w/ its status as one of the most (in)famous pictures from Godfrey Ho.

As with many of his pictures, footage from a foreign picture was taken and combined w/ footage filmed by Ho-usually of ninjas. In this case, it's the 1984 Korean flick Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry. This was combined-awkwardly, as you'd expect from the blending of two completely different pictures-with a tale revolving around ninjas fighting over a magical Buddha statue. The Korean footage has an onslaught of taekwon-action (to borrow a phrase from the City on Fire website) while the new footage is charming in its own way—this includes toy robots delivering important messages & Harrison wearing eyeliner when he's adorned in ninja garb.

An important detail to note is that a rare widescreen copy of Nina Terminator is available on YouTube; sure, the picture is pillarboxed on all four sides but is still of course preferable to the fullscreen version. Well, in the comments of the video, a true hero known as redcomet_622 created a list identifying most of the songs that appear throughout. It's at the end of the review, as there are MANY stolen songs throughout. It's everything from Japanese soundtrack tunes, Lalo Schifrin, and many Isao Tomita songs to Jean-Michel Jarre, multiple tunes from Wendy Carlos' A Clockwork Orange score, and most famously, Echoes from Pink Floyd. While all illegal, it was a GREAT soundtrack/score someone compiled.

While a mess narrative-wise, Ninja Terminator is a trashy good time. The Korean action is quality, the new action is fine in a different fashion, and if you don't try to scrutinize the story too closely... you might have a good time.

Three final notes:

Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry was feared to be a lost film; however, Neon Eagle included it as an extra on their Blu release of Ninja Terminator... in December they'll release it on its own.

From reviews, I know the film includes a song not present here... Kenny Loggins' Footloose!

Oh, and this is the source of those GARFIELD PHONE memes from the past. It is in fact demented genius that Ho decided to have Harrison engage in several important phone conversations while talking on a novelty telephone of an iconic comic strip character where its eyes would open when the handle is off the receiver. It's that, the music, the action, and the wackiness which helped elevate this for me.

 

Here's that aforementioned list of songs:

0:00, 1:03:52 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Base Machine Works (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:32, 33:46, 39:06, 48:20 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Showdown Daba · My Road (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:39, 32:41, 39:14 Moving Still - Chris and Cosey
2:06 Isao Tomita - Strong Electronic Light Waves
2:16 Isao Tomita - Round Spaceship Landing On the Earth
2:57 Isao Tomita - Venus Wearing The Space Uniform
3:09 Isao Tomita - Dororo
4:28 Pat Metheny Group - Extent of The Lie
4:34 Tangerine Dream – Thru Metaphoric Rocks
7:07, 7:35 Chumei Watanabe - Roaming (Jaspion OST)
7:12 Hiroya Watanabe - Tsuiseki Soshite Massatsu (Cosmo Police Justy OST)
7:21 Kei Wakakusa - Attack (Godmars OST)
10:36,12:19 Chumei Watanabe - Metal Tech · Suit (Jaspion OST)
11:38, 38:45 Talizman - I Must Go (Locke the Superman OST)
13:08 ?
14:45 Pink Floyd - Echoes
16:20 John Neschilling - Pixote Theme
17:39 Lalo Schifrin - Fast Moves (Battle Creek Brawl OST)
19:43 - 22:21 ? 24:44 Holger Czykay - On The Way to The Peak of Being Normal
26:09 Isao Tomita - The Planets: Mars, The Bringer of War
27:23 - 29:18,1:04:48 Steve Hillage - Sea Nature/ Steve Hillage - Ether Ships
30:06 Logic System - Venus
31:41 Mandingo - War Dance
34:21, 1:14:06 Logic System - I Love You
34:55 Jerry Goldsmith - The Hostage (Outland OST)
35:09,1:23:27 The Slipstream Group ‎– Forest Of Evil
40:05 , 1:11:15 Chumei Watanabe - The Enemy (Jaspion OST)
41:06, 51:50, 1:12:03 Chumei Watanabe - Change for Daileon (Jaspion OST)
44:19 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
45:39 Jerry Fielding - The Delivery (The Gauntlet OST)
45:57 Logic System - Metamorphism
47:38 Wendy Carlos - Clockwork Orange theme
49:41 Ennio Morricone - Violent City
50:07, 1:05:10 Talizman - Recollection (Locke the Superman OST)
50:47 Fifty Guitars - Sevilla Nights (Cover of Santa Esmerelda's Sevilla Nights)
51:16 Jean Michel Jarre - Zoolookologie
52:14, 53:58 The Love Unlimited Orchestra - The Rip (Together Brothers OST)
54:19 Chumei Watanabe - Galaxy Bible (Jaspion OST)
54:49 Jerry Goldsmith - The Rec Room (Outland OST)
59:01, 59:21 Chumei Watanabe - Desperate War (Jaspion OST)
1:00:33 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
1:07:19 Film Sounds Orchestra - Violent City (Cover of Ennio Morricone's Violent City)
1:08:53 James Horner - Battle In The Mutara Nebula (Star Trek II OST)
1:09:36 Mandingo - Invocation to the Gods
1:13:00, 1:20:32, 1:22:31 Steve Hillage - Crystal City
1:13:58, 1:14:37, 1:15:14, 1:21:08 Tim Blake - Synthese Intemporelle
1:15:25 Keith Emerson - Main Title (Nighthawks OST)
1:23:27 Slipstream Group - Forest of Evil (De Wolfe Music Library)
1:24:43 Steve Hillage - Glorious Om Riff
1:25:30 Jean Michel Jarre - Ethnicolor
1:26:05 Logic System - Prophet
1:26:19 Logic System - Metamorphism

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1936)

Runtime: 68 minutes

Directed by: George King

Starring: Tod Slaughter, Stella Rho, John Singer, Eve Lister, Bruce Seton

From: George King Productions

I finally experienced a piece of media concerning Sweeney Todd. Via cultural osmosis (including the Stephen Sondheim/Hugh Wheeler musical that Tim Burton adapted for the screen) I know that Todd was a fictional character from the Penny Dreadful genre efforts that was printed cheaply for the working class in 19th century UK residents. I knew he was a killer and there were meat pies-this macabre detail understandably was excluded from this film-but research told me that this adaptation does have the supporting characters Ms. Lovett (i.e. Lovatt here), love interest Johanna Oakley, & orphan boy apprentice Tobias Ragg, along with his magic chair.

Also a treat was seeing British stage Tod Slaughter as the titular character. In 2024 I saw him in the UK melodrama The Face at the Window; it was great learning about a hammy melodrama actor not afraid to literally be a cackling villain gleefully over the top. He was the same here in a film that had less horror elements than expected but was still a fine 68 minutes. 

The presence of a framing story was the biggest shock. A gonzo barber in 1936 excitedly tells his customer the story of Sweeney Todd, a barber who kills for money and Ragg is his 8th apprentice in 8 weeks.
He is next door to a Ms. Lovatt; meanwhile, a Mark is romancing Johanna but her father is a rich A-hole who hates that Mark is poor so he's off on a mercantile ship. He acquires wealth in Africa (long story involving natives; that wasn't as offensive as I had first feared) and returns to London.

Sweeney Todd's a fine production, from the sets to the acting, the score and everything else. However, it was Slaughter as the titular character that was the highlight. Todd literally cackles at points; not every villain needs to be OOT but in melodramas like this, someone devouring the scenery is delightful. While I'm pretty sure there are better adaptations of the source material and there isn't much in the way of horror scares, the 1936 film was still fun in a histrionic way.

Hope

Hope (2026)

Somehow, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 157 reviews) 

Runtime: Somehow, 157 minutes!

Directed by: Na Hong-jin

Starring: Various Korean actors I somehow didn't recognize, plus somehow both Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander

From: Neon released this in the United States

Why can’t there be a site like Does the Dog Die, except that it concerns foul language in movies, and how much of it (including F bombs) is in a particular film? Despite having almost 6,000 (!) followers on Letterboxd, I neither have the time nor resources to start such a project myself. It would have made me not both w/ the new Resident Evil nor this new Korean film from Na Hong-jin, despite being a big fan of his The Chaser and The Wailing, and my puzzlement that this has involvement from several Western actors, most notably the husband-and-wife duo of Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander. I hope they were financially compensated quite well.

I had no idea that Resident Evil and this would share various similarities. Both have idiotic leads; in this case, it’s the police Chief of a small town who is such a dumbass, he doesn’t have a clue how many fellow officers he has in his department! Hope has multiple intolerable characters, all of whom start cursing and they all increase their swearing until it’s nonstop in the final act. I couldn’t care less about any of these jackasses, nor the rancid “humor” in the film that’s also unnecessary. No kidding, a random old dude shows up to deliver an important speech that felt like it was 10 minutes long… revolving around witnessing something while he’s taking a massive diarrhea dump in the woods!

Not even that was the worst aspect of Hope. Even worse than the brutal length of 2 ½ hours, the cursing, the illogic, the stupidity, the failed unnecessary comedy, & even the incredibly awful final 10 minutes that was just mind-boggling in how baffling & laughable it was; no, the worst aspect was how ATROCIOUS the effects were.

It’s CG that would have looked bad a quarter-century ago! What felt like the opening half hour had the big killing machine not shown on camera-just its destruction. I was already not liking the film at that point and there was irritation that they were prolonging the first reveal.
Finally, this indestructible force appeared, and… the initial reaction was laughter as it was just laughable, the appearance was so goofy. Boy, did I regret my desire to see the monster!

Then I saw it in motion, and Holy Crap was that the realization of how bad the CG was, especially in motion. By the conclusion, I was reminded of An American Werewolf in Paris-there is a film you always want to be reminded of! What I’m referring to is how often the CG is shown despite its wretched appearance. They aren’t afraid to display these creatures-indestructible beyond belief-as if they thought their janky, goofy appearance was somehow acceptable in a movie that was released worldwide, including plenty of screens in America. This was on IMAX screens, for crying out loud! I shudder how the CG looked on one of those screens.

Hope had plot armor for some of our heroes that was almost as strong as for the indestructible villains. I could possibly go on for far longer concerning what this movie got wrong-pacing, logic, world-building, how award-winning and nominated actors Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander looked as their characters, etc.-but this was another case of the wrong movie on the wrong night for me. Not everything was wretched—the score wasn’t bad, the cinematography had nice moments and the production did a swell job constructing the fake village.

However, the totality of this bloated picture was so aggravating, so disappointing, such a waste of time-where even the action scenes are way too long-I felt forced to go Scorched Earth and give my lowest-possible rating. I'm glad that many enjoyed this far more than I. Hopefully it'll be a long while before a controversial review will have to be written. My next review should be of an older film that likely won't result in a bitter aftertaste.

 

I Saw the New Resident Evil... Unfortunately

 

Perhaps I should finally give up on Modern Horror in general… for certain, I will give up on Zach Cregger for good.

After not viewing any films Sunday night, a double-header was held at a cinema last night; Wednesday night will be the review for the other picture-one I hated even more than this! For the newer followers: most modern horror does nothing for me. This includes Obsession and Backrooms, which I both strongly disliked on a fundamental level. Also, I’ve grown more and more tired of foul language, and how it’s incessant in most R-rated movies for at least the past few years. Now, I skipped Weapons but the first two acts of Barbarian were entertaining… until the final act started poorly & it fell apart until an awful final 10 minutes.

I still have never played any Resident Evil game, so that has no bearing on my opinion. The rave reviews for this fooled me; Lord, I’ve been fooled WAY too often when it comes to “popular modern horror” that’s beloved by most on Letterboxd. No offense to anyone, but that is on me as I should learn my lesson and just avoid these stupid Gen-Z films (horror or otherwise) starring an insufferable, idiotic, incompetent protagonist--Johnny Dumb**** in this case, or whatever his name was. Johnny is a courier who has to deliver something to a hospital in Raccoon City.

Johnny constantly screws up and can’t perform simple tasks correctly. He can’t even speak correctly, given his constant cursing, especially the torrent of F-bombs that never cease, which is just like the stupid inane comments this emasculated dork says to himself that never cease. Am I supposed to LIKE this loser? As the viewer follows only him throughout, that was a huge problem for me. So was not liking anyone else we see.

And also, another huge issue was that this almost constantly has “comedy”… not only was it unnecessary, most of it made me groan rather than laugh. It was all just so stupid and not enjoyable; I’ve long since grown tired of unnecessary “humor” in modern cinema. Let’s not even get started on some of the all-time terrible bits of dialogue or blatant ripoffs/homages of moments from actual great horror of the 80’s. Yes, there were OOT gross gory moments but I need more than that. The film is not lit poorly, the snowy landscape is cool and the synth score from Hays & Ryan Holladay was delightful. Otherwise, this is yet another piece of modern horror that failed on a vital level, at least according to my tastes.

It stinks that for years, most Modern Horror is anathemic to my brain, requiring more effort to track down films I enjoy-which I tend to enjoy more than the majority of Letterboxd users. As hated at this comment will be, the goofy 2002 Resident Evil movie was a better time; at least the characters weren’t imbecilic idiots, incompetent jackasses that never shut up.

If you think I went Scorched Earth on Resident Evil 2026, wait until you read the review I’ll post about 24 hours from now!

The Transporter

The Transporter (2002)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Corey Yuen… and Louis Leterrier

Starring: Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Francois Bereland, Matt Schulze, Ric Young

From: Several European companies, including Eurocorp

 I had a STATHAM SATURDAY by revisiting The Transporter, not viewed in many years. The sequels have never been viewed full-stop (including The Transporter Refueled; who even remembers that was a thing?) yet 2026 seemed like a good time to discuss this nonsense here. Yes, the movie is flashy, absurd, bold… like either the Hong Kong pictures of old or Indian films of recent times.

Now, I can appreciate such things more than at the time. Statham is Frank Martin, former Special Forces dudes who transports people or items in a sweet 1999 BMW 7-series. He has a list of rules… first is “never change the terms of the deal.” Trouble begins once he discovers the contents of a duffel bag is a young lady, Shu Qi. Yes, he does start breaking his rules; the plot isn’t complex but it did not need to be one.

Monsieur Frank was an entertaining badass, wrecking dudes in a fun fashion. I recently mentioned that it’d be nice for Statham to be in more films that were comedic, or at least were light in time… The Transporter is the latter. Now, Americans can only experience comedic Statham… by seeing him in Discover credit card commercials! Shu Qi was fun in her role, as was Francois Bereland as the police Inspector Frank is pals with. It was also nice seeing reliable faces like Ric Young & Matt Schulze. 

These days, I have more respect for the early 21st century action as presented here-perhaps it was a bit TOO flashy at times but it feels fresh in ’26 between the editing, funky score from Stanley Clarke, and the slippery final act. The action beats still satisfy. This was fun poppycock set & filmed in the south of France. Luc Besson as a person evidently has a terrible flaw or two; him in cinema has created distinctive films, whether as a director, writer, or producer—he has the latter two roles here.

Perhaps one day in the far-future the sequels will finally be given a shot by me. On its own, The Transporter is a fun slice of Euro-action, barely over an hour and a half.

Martin

Martin (1977)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: George A. Romero

Starring: John Amplas, Lincoln Maazel, Christine Forrest,  Elayne Nadeau, Tom Savini

From: Laurel Productions

As I plan on viewing a few George A. Romero movies from now until Halloween, perhaps the first film should have been viewed & reviewed before the latter half of September. Regardless, I’m glad to have “found a copy” of Martin awhile ago. I don’t know if producer Richard Rubinstein is responsible for there not being a copy of the movie available for streaming like he famously does w/ Americans not being able to domestically stream or own a physical media HD release of Dawn of the Dead unless you import it, but…

The titular Martin is a gangly youth who believes he’s a vampire. He sexually assaults then kills a lady on a train as he travels to Pittsburgh. That’s awful, but tragic is that Martin behaves this way as his elderly relative TATA CUDA not only believes in the old tradition of vampires, but that it runs in the family & Martin is one, often referring to him as Nosferatu! What misfortune then that Martin is now living w/ Tata and his relative Christina.

There is ambiguity… black-and-white footage is seen; after it’s used the first time as a fantasy, the rest is either other fantasies or Martin’s actual flashbacks. Whether he’s actually a vampire (one not in a traditional sense… he walks in the daytime and consumes food & drink) who was born in the 1890’s or a youth losing his battle w/ mental illness, his drugging victims, sexually assaulting women, slicing their wrists, & murdering them is utterly horrifying, totally monstrous behavior from him. Also certain is that Martin is socially awkward, a lonely isolated person wishing to connect, to have normal relationships with human beings.

This is a unique take on the vampire mythos-unromantic-where the gritty low-budget filmmaking was an asset, presenting the gritty Pittsburgh suburb of Braddock as a dreary, depressed area. The cast of locals all did fine, especially John Amplas as the title character, Lincoln Maazel as Tata, & Elyane Nadeau as bored housewife Abbie, who Martin develops a relationship with. Tom Savini also had an acting role which coincided w/ the effects he provided for the film, early in his career.

Martin’s a downbeat, somber 70’s film concerning a depressed character. I never wavered in my interest concerning the plot; the attack scenes plus the potent ending made this journey a rewarding one. More than one Romero zombie picture will be reviewed in the upcoming weeks; I was happy to finally check out a movie that will be different from the others that will be on this year’s Spooky Season list.

Used Cars

Used Cars (1980)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Kurt Russell, Jack Warden, Gerrit Graham (RIP), Frank McRae, Deborah Harmon

From: Columbia 

RIP Gerrit Graham

I did not view any films last night; nothing was planned for this afternoon so a planned watch was set up… until looking at Twitter & seeing the announcement that he passed away on Tuesday at the age of 76. Some of his films have been viewed over the years; it was always a delight to see him in a Child’s Play 2 or a Demon Seed. Personally, him as BEEF in Phantom of the Paradise was hysterical. Despite knowing of Used Cars for years, it had never been seen by me. However, the movie’s free for me on Prime so it seemed an apt choice as Graham had a major role.

This is a rather dark comedy concerning feuding used car dealers that are across the street from each other in the Phoenix, Arizona region. Roy Fuchs (Jack Warden) is a high-end sleazy dealer while his brother Luke (also Warden) is more honest but their cars are piles of junk so his employees-Kurt Russell… no relation & Graham-are sleazy. There’s unethical behavior from the beginning, which increases tenfold after a major event. Roy is obsessed w/ acquiring his brother’s land while Russell’s Rudy Russo really wants the cash to enter an even more dishonest profession.

Used Cars is absurd, vulgar, crass… and often hysterical in its absurdity. It was a delight to see these disreputable characters engage in increasingly outrageous scenarios. The important detail is that these characters are all enjoyable rather than irritating A-holes that you can’t stand… even during the picture’s most off-color moments. The quality of cast happens: Russell, Graham & his superstitious character, Jack Warden, the foul-mouthed Frank McRae, Joe Flaherty, Michael McKean, Michael Talbott, Dub Taylor, & others. There’s an awesome dog named Toby, + a cameo from a beloved cult actor.

It's wild that the film is from Robert Zemeckis. He and Bob Gale learned of a script about used cars from John Milius; they modified it to this insanity. That’s why the two executive producers were Milius… and Spielberg! This is the type of comedy that of course we haven’t seen made in many years. The charm of Russell and the yelling of McRae were of course great assets but so was the crazy character Graham brought to life. He’s someone who was on screen, on stage, wrote scripts, and even co-authored the song Victim or the Crime, which appeared on the 1989 Grateful Dead album Built to Last. He knew Bob Weir for years, you see.

While I’m bummed he passed away, this was a great way to tip my cap to the late Gerrit Graham. I recommend you do so if you aren’t allergic to vulgar comedies.

 

Onslaught

Onslaught (2026)

59% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 128 reviews) 

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Adam Wingard

Starring: Adria Arjona, Reginald VelJohnson, Eric Wareheim, Drew Starkey, Dan Stevens

From: A24 

Those that don’t live in America… no, they don’t have official green signs on the highway telling you how far you are from a trailer park!

While Blair Witch wasn’t too good, I’ve enjoyed Adam Wingard’s You’re Next, The Guest, & his wacky Godzilla films. Thus, I was hopeful for Onslaught; the one time I saw a trailer, I was non-plussed but trailers don’t always accurately convey a film’s quality anyhow.

My opinion: boy, did they try REALLY hard to create a motion picture in the style of an 80’s cult classic. Don’t get me wrong, that is preferable to the glut of bland, flavorless films released on the big screen or (especially) streaming for years now; however, the strangest moments and oddest character quirks felt incredibly try-hard. A major problem is that I never warmed up to the lead character; it’s not the performance of Adria Arjona but rather the bad parent/stereotypically damaged soldier character that just wasn’t likable or enjoyable.

The character I disliked the most, though, was the stereotypical incompetent cop portrayed by Eric of Tim & Eric fame. My belief that drinking bleach is a more pleasant experience than watching even a minute of Tim & Eric’s anti-humor is irrelevant; it’s the irritating buffoon character that was a turn-off. I couldn’t believe when the lead noted his faults but concluded by proclaiming, “…but you’re a good man.” What? No, he wasn’t!

That, the rampant cursing, and a conclusion that was at least a little underwhelming are valid gripes. Even so, I didn’t hate Onslaught. The synth score was awesome; a highlight was the opening-featuring text in what I call “the Carpenter font”-and a tune that sounded like the opening song from Morricone’s score for The Thing. As expected from the director, the soundtrack featured uncommon songs you don’t hear in films. The trio of super-soldiers that invaded the trailer park are part of the film’s most “aura farming moments,” to paraphrase a line from others.

They at least attempted mood & atmosphere; some images did look swell. So did the bloody action scenes. Getting to see both Michael Biehn and Reginald VelJohnson is always a treat. When 2026 has had too many bad movies seen theatrically, I can’t be too disappointed that this movie was a letdown in parts when fun was still had.

Doctor Who: Terror of the Autons

This is the 1971 serial from the Jon Pertwee era: 

In this special late Wednesday posting, I’ll admit that one thing new to me this Spooky Season is having more than one Doctor Who serial on the list. Besides Autons coming as a recommendation, I knew from a cursory search that this had a bit of a reputation at the time for causing “kindertrauma”… i.e. containing moments that were frightening to children. That is understandable… there’s an inflatable chair that kills (long story), plastic daffodils that also kill, an evil troll doll, plastic men, and other men with giant fake heads.

It was nice to be introduced to the renegade Time Lord known as The Master-serving as the main foil-the introduction of Jo Grant as the Doctor’s companion, and the first time Captain Mike Yates of U.N.I.T. appeared in the show. I was happy to learn about The Master, the titular autons, and the non-corporeal entities known as the Nestenes. The Master enacts a plan to have the autons bring the Nestenes onto Earth and he’ll destroy all of humanity, because he’s a villain.

There is a thing or two I could nitpick about-including the denouement-yet overall I still had fun. As mentioned before, Jon Pertwee was entertaining as The Doctor; he even admitted to his at-times childish behavior. Katy Manning was swell as Jo, as was Roger Delgado as The Master. The typical action I expect from the franchise (which I’ve now seen a grand total of three serials of) was present. There’s some fine action, the standard cliffhangers between each chapter, and a tremendous roll down a hill by a stuntman.

I know there are other Doctor serials which are more horror-coded; research has told me which way to go to view one starring Tom Baker between now and Halloween.

Ghostkeeper

Ghostkeeper (1981)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: Jim Makichuk

Starring: Riva Spier, Murray Ord, Sheri McFadden, Georgie Collins, Les Kimber

From: Badland Pictures

This motion picture played last night on one of the five streaming channels on the Eternal Family platform. It was characters on a pair of snowmobiles in the Canadian wilderness. As that snowy landscape was resplendent, I was intrigued to watch Ghostkeeper-which is also a great title-in full.

The platform’s description compared it to The Shining. While it’s an apt comparison (for reasons I can’t reveal), it also is writing a check the movie couldn’t possibly cash. Ghostkeeper isn’t an all-time genre classic, after all. That doesn’t mean this is not a cozy, chilling motion picture where a couple (that have a contentious relationship) and a lady friend leave their friends in a cabin to ride around the wilderness before two of the three decide to trespass on private property despite the third being the voice of reason & protesting the decision.

Of course, a snowmobile breaks down right by an abandoned deer lodge… only they meet an older lady caretaker, and there’s others… oh, and I almost forgot: there’s an opening blurb which reveals that this motion picture features a Wendigo.

I understand why there are many who feel this is lacking in incident, a pace too languid, that they’d prefer a certain type of horror thrill which isn’t what this movie is offering. Evidently, the production ran out of money so that resulted in an ending that had to be modified. At the same time, for those that enjoy slowly-paced spooky moody tales, this could be satisfying for you. The creepy vibes are strong, the lodge setting providing an evocative mood, the snowy landscape providing a pastoral beauty.

A critical asset: the Paul Zaza score. The frequent Bob Clark collaborator (also scoring Prom Night and My Bloody Valentine) presented a chilling violin-based score.

For a certain segment of Letterboxd, they will love Ghostkeeper even more than I did, a journey quite rewarding for them.

Bananas

Bananas (1971)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Woody Allen

Starring: Allen, Louise Lasser, Carlos Montalban, Nati Asbacal, Jacobo Morales

From: United Artists

It’s been awhile since viewing any Woody Allen; an apology for doing so probably isn’t necessary on Letterboxd when people still view his films, they’re still on television, and other controversial figures haven’t been banished either. Of course, I’m separating the art from the artist whenever viewing one of Allen’s pictures… some have been reviewed here and Bananas was seen by me once—like 20 years ago. Time for a revisit, right?

Woody portrays… yes, the standard Woody Allen character w/ the great name Fielding Mellish. He tests products for a conglomeration, including a multi-faceted setup at a desk which looks like something that’d be marketed today. Heck, there’s a potshot at the National Rifle Association that many would agree with… anyhow, he meets Louise Lasser-as mentioned a few months ago, RIP to her-who is an activist. They break up but he decides to visit the fictional South American country of San Marcos. 

An overthrow of the government occurred, a dictatorship now ruling. Mellish meets both them & rebels looking to overthrow the dictatorship. Bananas was a comedy featuring satire, pratfalls, absurd moments, the tragic humor of banana republics, sight gags & wordplay. While not my favorite from Allen, I was still entertained by his brand of comedy. Spoofing major events in the film by having sportscaster Howard Cosell (I won’t dwell on him or how he’s best known for his interactions w/ Muhammad Ali. I imagine many would know him from Michael Mann’s Ali) commentate on them as if they were sporting events… those were a highlight. 

Some moments I did not recall from that first viewing. In the latter half, there’s a scene which is comparable to the whole “55 burgers, 55 fries, 55 tacos…” thing I’ve never seen but know is a meme. Much more horrifying is a reprise of a shocking moment that was in Hannan and her Sisters. Early on, Allen mentioned… CHILD MOLESTATION. 

This is a detail worth mentioning for both movies lest someone would react poorly to being blindsided by that comment for whatever reasons. That does make it difficult to separate the art from the artist; otherwise, I was happy with this second viewing; it was done on YouTube rather than the copy that is on Amazon and is a few minutes shorter. The assumption is that a scene early on featuring adult magazines was excised for whatever reasons, if other scenes weren’t also trimmed or excised. 

I imagine the one scene featuring Sylvester Stallone as a thug wasn't removed.

Penny Lane is Dead

Penny Lane is Dead (2025)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Mia'Kate Russell

Starring: Sophia Wright-Mendelsohn, Tahlee Fereday, Ben O'Toole, Bailey Spalding, Steve Le Marquand

From: Many different Australian companies 

A viewing that occurred due to discussion elsewhere. This was on a messageboard (technically, Discord) that has been obliquely mentioned by me in the past. Someone asked about Shudder’s recently exclusive releases, including Penny Lane. As the title intrigued & I knew this was an Aussie flick set in 1986…

In fact, Penny Lane is the name of a lead. She, her secret lesbian lover Toni, and their pal Amy are teens who spend one night in a beach house… where there isn’t a banker on the corner with a motorcar. Suddenly arrives Penny’s psychotic cousin Kat, who soon then brings her even more psychotic boyfriend Angus and his ruffian friends; deaths, bloodshed, yelling, revenge, and the usage of 80’s Aussie songs occurred.

I could quibble, undoubtedly. The tone was OOT, absurd, preposterous. This does attempt to echo the exploitation films of old-especially Ozploitation-which does include plenty of time viewing loathsome characters perform horrific acts on our heroes—even if the most upsetting moment was heard rather than shown. There are dumb moments-don’t scrutinize the plot too hard. As I figured, it’s about as foolish to criticize the language in an Australian movie as it is one from the UK, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t excessive.

On that note, recently some stranger commented on my review for a recent modern film I didn’t like & thought me a hypocrite because I complained about F-bombs there yet one of my favorites is Goodfellas. Some movies from the past before I grew frustrated with this issue are grandfathered in plus if I am a fan of the story and characters… regardless, I still enjoyed Penny Lane & would have rated it the same even if the constant vulgarities would have been less frequent. Speaking of language, Aussies will be amused that via this film, I now know what a dunny is!

Regardless, the movie was successful at making you despise the villains, especially Kat… the performance of Sophia Wright-Mendelsohn was one of the highlights. Yes, her father actually IS who you think it is. The revenge was satisfying-bloody and gruesome. There are fun moments, the pitch-black comedy was amusing rather than the irritating wink-at-the-camera crap that’s ruined cinema in recent years. The leading trio were all easy to root for, especially Tahlee Fereday as Toni. The score was good & there is something to be said about a modern picture where the nighttime scenes outdoors feature lighting that isn’t bad.

To echo a criticism of others elsewhere, they perhaps didn’t stick the landing. Even so, I still enjoyed this retro-flavored stew which at least wasn’t pretentious or smug. Penny Lane is instead big dumb fun—after the viewer is riled up for a long bit by the heels. For those that are fans of inclusion, plenty on the crew were females, as was director Mia’Kate Russell… no relation. Again, that doesn’t impact my rating but Dead still feels like the films of old, including its mean streak.