Thunder on the Hill

Thunder on the Hill (1951)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Douglas Sirk

Starring: Claudette Colbert, Ann Blyth (RIP), Robert Douglas, Anne Crawford, Philip Friend

From: Universal 

RIP Ann Blyth

Some will be as surprised as I was to learn that she was still alive at the age of 98 until passing away last week. The circumstances were eerie: an account on Twitter noted she would be turning 99 later in the year, then praising both her and Joan Crawford for 1945’s legendary Mildred Pierce, where Blyth played her evil teen daughter. Indeed, both performances were great. Right after this post was made, her death was announced. As I’ve already reviewed Pierce, instead the choice was made to check out a Douglas Sirk picture starring Claudette Colbert. It’s nun noir, to steal a phrase from a mutual. Hey, Kino released it as part of a box set on film noirs…

The plot for certain intrigued: Colbert is a nun at a convent attached to a hospital. Torrential downpours and flooding are in the area of Norwich, England (I’m sure the UK would prefer that to the brutal heatwaves they and most of Europe have received as of late) have not only resulted in a jam-packed building, Blyth and her cop escorts are stuck there… she was convicted of murdering her invalid brother. Claudette believes she’s innocent so while mainly stuck in the convent, she attempts to prove that Blyth’s Valerie is innocent.

Yes, you can tell this was based on a stage play. “Old newspapers” is one way she attempts to be a sleuth.

The scenario is admittedly far-fetched; be that as it may, I was still entertained by this malarkey. The viewer has to accept that more than one man is rather tiresome and his behavior is especially bad by 2026 standards. I was entertained by the drama, the petty squabbles between the nuns & nurses, an oppressive doctor, a “half-wit” groundskeeper named Willie (the movie’s term, not mine), and all the rest. The score was solid as was the direction from Sirk and the sets created for this Universal production.

The key reason why I enjoyed Thunder on the Hill were the powerful performances from Colbert and Blyth. The former was always likable despite the resistance she received from multiple characters, especially a nurse who was a hater through & through. The latter was bitchy at first, although if it was the night before you were to hang from the gallows by the neck until dead… my mood wouldn’t be cheery either.

While the mystery was solved by me quicker than usual for the genre, Thunder was still a nice way for me to tip my cap to who was one of the last few famous names from that era of Old Hollywood still around.

 

Spaceballs, Revisited

This was how I celebrated the 100th birthday of Mel Brooks. Around these parts an explanation should not be required why me and most everyone else consider him a legend. Sure, only half of his directorial efforts have been reviewed here so I could have done something not discussed by me before. However, Flashback Cinema (who have provided retro movies to smaller non-national chains for years) played this yesterday & it felt only fitting to pay tribute this way... by viewing a movie I've loved since childhood & reviewed on Letterboxd once before, many years ago.

Yes, once the Internet entered my life in the late 90's I realized many don't care for the film-their opinion ranging from “annoyance” to downright “hatred.” It's not hard to see why—admittedly the movie is quite silly in spoofing sci-fi, but mainly Star Wars. Well, Star Wars and Star Trek were both viewed by me as a kid, and I was a kid in the 80's & 90's... perhaps it shouldn't be a shocker that the movie would be appealing, nevermind its faults or how it isn't transgressive like Blazing Saddles or is seen as hysterical by more people like a Young Frankenstein or The Producers.

Personally, I'd like to think it's not just nostalgia which explains my high rating, although that can be argued. Regardless, even if the movie hasn't been watched by me in ages (and note that not everything I revisit is mentioned on Letterboxd by any means), I am still greatly entertained by the parody of Star Wars characters, the quality cast, the puns, the wordplay, the sight gags, the dialogue-much of it still tickles me pink now-the 4th wall breaks, and how they poke fun at Star Wars while not being malicious. No wonder George Lucas was a big fan of this flick.

In my 45 years on this planet, Spaceballs is one of the films watched the most by me-there was more than a few childhood viewings. The film drew a decent-sized crowd at my screening; I was amused that beforehand, the trailers were for kids entertainment, due to the PG rating Spaceballs has... ignoring that this is the 80's version of PG, meaning there's an F-bomb and a few vulgar phrases, especially “I bet she gives great helmet!”

The sequel coming out 40 years after this—I am quite cautious how that will turn out. I'd appreciate a score like John Morris which successfully aped the John William sound and nice practical sets/effects like we got here-aided by ILM. This probably won't be the cast but I'll be crestfallen if the humor is modern and/or millennial; look at my review of the new Masters of the Universe to learn the strong degree which that is considered a repellent. I'm glad the main cast has returned & it will be great to see Rick Moranis again. Leaving Hollywood to raise his children after his wife died of cancer is tragic although of course the right thing to do. No matter how Spaceballs: The New One turns out, I'll always love the original.

The Replacement Killers

The Replacement Killers (1998)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Chow Yun-Fat, Mira Sorvino, Michael Rooker, Kenneth Tsang, Jurgen Prochnow

From: Columbia

As sometimes occurs, messageboard discussion spurned my viewing of a film. The past few days, there was discourse concerning both this and The Big Hit (which I won’t watch soon but perhaps one day years in the future that’ll occur) concerning hazy memories of late 90’s video store rentals. Despite being the proper age-a teen in the late 90’s… yes I’m old!-neither were ever rented by me.

The opening w/ The Crystal Method blasting in a club as Chow Yun-Fat stylishly gunned down fools got this started on the right foot. He’s an assassin hired to kill the son of police officer Michael Rooker as a revenge killing… before anyone panics, Rooker kills a criminal in self-defense so it’s justified; the killer’s father is the one who hires Chow. He develops a conscience & won’t murder a 7-year-old boy. That’s why he’s on the run, needs the assistance of forger Mia Sorvino to flee the country, and that’s when the titular replacement killers enter the picture.

In less than 90 minutes-I wish more pictures like this were so economical-Antoine Fuqua (in his debut, believe it or not) created a movie full of style, was fast-paced, had a nice cast full of familiar faces, and had action beats which weren’t epic like in Hong Kong yet was still delightful. Fat does duel-wield pistols by the end, much to my gratification. I bemoan Chow not succeeding in Hollywood due to no fault of his own… I should shoulder a tiny part of blame as both this and The Corruptor (another pretty good time) could have been viewed on the big screen in ’98 by myself but failed to do so. Why Sorvino did not have a better career in Hollywood is again due to no fault of her own, but of course is much more horrifying if you don’t know the reasons.

On a lighter note, especially these days I greatly appreciate a serious movie that don’t constantly wink at the camera, is shot well, features some quality lighting for the aesthetics, has a nice score/soundtrack, the team of Til Schweiger & Danny Trejo, and Mr. Magoo! As lamented by me many times by this point, I wish there was more modestly-budgeted R-rated theatrical movies out in the United States for me to view… then again, the effort for me is to go & see those when they’re available.

Citizen Vigilante

Citizen Vigilante (2026)

Runtime: 89 LONG minutes

“Directed” by: Uwe Boll!

Starring: Armie Hammer! Also, there’s Costas Mandylor and many others you’ll never have heard of

From: Companies that should be embarrassed for themselves… that includes Boll’s own production company

Hey, I didn’t pay any money to see this!

To elaborate, yesterday it was discovered that the movie was released on Twitter (!) for free (!!) but only for a limited amount of time, due to purported claims that governments are “banning” the film due to its
“inflammatory content”… claims that likely are nothing more than hogwash. As it’s a new Uwe Boll (!) flick starring Armie Hammer (!!) which has received “worst of 2026” buzz already, morbid curiosity was too much for me. Releasing a new movie on social media is silly, especially when it’s so easy to download such streams… or so I’ve heard.

The reason for the outrage: in “Europe” (that’s as specific as the movie is), Hammer enters the country and rages against “immigrants”-meaning, people with darker skin-in sanctimonious lecturing towards the viewer, to borrow a phrase. For those not in the United States, for years now the issue of “immigrants” (again, meaning those with darker skin) has been THE controversial issue that divides people.

I am not offended because this portrays minorities so poorly, or that older movies like Death Wish w/ similar themes addressed such topics with MUCH more subtlety, grace, and ambiguity. There also isn’t a hint of satire in that Hammer’s character (a former military man called Sanders; to steal another line, he should have been Colonel Sanders!) is an immigrant himself, from America. Instead, this is an edgelord movie from someone trying his hardest to be provocative. No kidding, he wanted to originally title this motion picture… THE DARK KNIGHT.

“Grifting” is another term-like “slop”-which is overused. Perhaps “carnival hustler” is the more creative way to go. Many people seem to be hustling for a certain audience-many in America alone will agree with the message of Citizen Vigilante. The pre-credits scene is a “migrant” with dark skin who randomly stabs a blonde white woman in the neck. The acting in general is bad-I was disappointed that Costas Mandylor delivered the worst performance.

The rest of the filmmaking is rather lousy-to put it nicely-including some horrendous-looking CG blood, the lack of actual plot (unless you consider Sanders is also a dick landlord (?!) and he really hates black mold… please don’t ask) and other details that Boll clearly will never learn despite his decades as a filmmaker.

The movie’s inept, mind-numbing, insufferable, laughable… unlike Vigilante’s message (which can be hotly debated), it is much harder to argue that this isn’t a terrible cash-grab carnival barker motion picture attempting to earn some cash from the looniest of the right-wing audience.

What are they to think of Sanders graphically shooting law enforcement who attempt to arrest him (or for that matter, that scene being set to a modern jazz song!), the Neil Breen speeches the lead delivers in lieu of actual commentary on a contentious topic-yes, I’m stealing another quote-or a judge who has the surname REINHOLD and is addressed by dialogue as JUDGE REINHOLD. How can I take this failure seriously? The monologue at the end includes both “we the people” & “the woke left.”

Sure, there’s some graphic violence but even that wasn’t too satisfying except for a moment where he is-rightfully-against bullying. There are much better vigilantism pictures out there… I mainly know the ones from the past but I’m sure even modern ones are more worthwhile than Citizen Vigilante. Don’t even hate-watch this or be like me and view it out of morbid curiosity-that’s what the filmmakers want. I say this nonsense isn’t even worth the effort, a squandering of a topic worthy of contemplative discussion.

I’m sure the same goes for the upcoming Daily Wire picture where Jonathan Majors makes his comeback with a plot that by description sounds anti-Muslim. I wouldn’t expect anything better from the incredibly dry and unappealing Ben Shapiro…

In the Dust of the Stars

In the Dust of the Stars (Im Staub der Sterne) (1976)

Runtime: 98 groovy minutes

Directed by: Gottfried Kolditz

Starring: Jana Brejchova, Alfred Struwe, Ekkehard Schall, Milan Beli, Silvia Popovici, Violeta Andrei

From: DEFA

I didn’t quite know what to expect from a 1976 East German/Romanian sci-fi flick, but it wasn’t this! Sure, some Soviet sci-fi from various decades has been viewed & reviewed before, yet something from the 70’s elsewhere behind the Iron Curtain was a mystery.

Turns out, this was incredibly groovy while concurrently addressing at least one philosophical argument. The crew of one planet are on a trek to another planet after hearing a call for help. Those residents on another planet purport that this call was in error and in fact throw a wild party full of scantily-clad women, a buffet, random women naked, and pythons slithering about, but of course the crew is in danger for reasons that won’t be revealed.

I can reveal that this contains the standard groovy 70’s sci-fi sets, hilarious period clothing, the ship’s AI assistant possessing a robotic voice, etc. I was also delighted that filmmakers behind the Iron Curtain knew of such period filmmaking techniques as split screen & mirror images. The inclusion of a 70’s synth score was appreciated by me. However, because the villains were thinly-veiled capitalists, we also got to see…

* Them using breath spray but it was portrayed as a drug they were addicted to. In essence, different-flavored vapes
* The leader’s a random pudgy balding middle-aged dude who randomly dyes what hair he has different colors, just because
* These people also do random interpretive dance, just for the hell of it
* They have pen guns

In the midst of those wacky details, the crew of 4 women and 2 men are led by a woman, who thankfully was not portrayed poorly. Our explorers are tasked with making the right decision concerning a philosophical question, like genre fans would expect in the most austere of science fiction. Yes, at times this did feel like a rather peculiar episode of Star Trek mixed w/ Barbarella!

As methodical as the pacing can be, that didn’t bother me too much & even if it does for you, hopefully the groovy moments can keep your focus from wavering. This is another gem from Deaf Crocodile that delights me-thank goodness some of their offerings are on Eternal Family. What esoteric foreign films they select for release.

Incubus

Incubus (Inkubo) (1966)

Runtime: 74 minutes

Directed by: Leslie Stevens

Starring: William Shatner, Allyson Ames, Eloise Hart, Robert Fortier, Ann Atmar, Milos Milos

From: Contempo III Productions/Daystar Productions

My English review is below the review in Esperanto-translated by Google, as I don’t know the language myself. I’d only post this review in Esperanto (the language spoken in this movie) except that I am sure most people reading this will do so on mobile, requiring a download to have it translated and it’s just be an annoyance for them.

Esperanto

Mia anglalingva recenzo estas sub la recenzo en Esperanto - tradukita de Google, ĉar mi mem ne konas la lingvon. Mi afiŝus ĉi tiun recenzon nur en Esperanto (la lingvo parolata en ĉi tiu filmo), escepte ke mi certas, ke plej multaj homoj legantaj ĉi tion faros tion per poŝtelefono, bezonante elŝuton por traduki ĝin.

Estas multe por diskuti pri ĉi tiu filmo. Reĝisoro Leslie Stevens - post kreado de The Outer Limits - faris ĉi tiun nigrablankan filmon, kiun multaj rimarkis esti inspirita de Bergman. La kopiaĵo estis timita perdita dum jaroj, ĝis unu kun bruligitaj francaj subtekstoj estis trovita en '96. En la lastaj jaroj, alia kopiaĵo en multe pli bona stato estis trovita; ĉi tiu estas kion Arrow uzis por kaj fizika kaj flua eldono. Konsiderante ke kelkfoje, vi nelonge vidas francajn subtekstojn aperi... tiu nova kopiaĵo verŝajne ne estis kompleta. Estas pli, sed mi klarigos ĉe la fino.

Unue, klarigo pri Esperanto verŝajne necesas. Ĝi estis kreita en 1887 de L.L. Zamenhof kiel rimedo por krei "universalan duan lingvon", kiun ĉiu povus lerni. Tiu ideo estas nobla, kvankam ekzistas tre malsamaj raportoj pri "kiu parolas ĝin"... ĉie de 30 000 ĝis 2 milionoj! Kvankam ne esprimita tiel, oni konjektis, ke ĝia uzado en Incubus estis ĉefe por plifortigi la strangajn vibrojn tra la tuta programo.

Finfine, la filmo temas pri sukuboj (la pluralo de sukubo) vivantaj en fora regiono tuj apud puto supozeble havanta magiajn povojn. Tiuj virinoj celas pekulojn, kiuj vizitas la puton, kiel oferojn al Infero. Unu el ili - Kia - decidas anstataŭe celi bonan viron, kiu vizitis tiun puton... William Shatner! Alia sukubo provas ĉesigi la ĉikanadon de Kia kontraŭ Shatner kaj lia fratino, sed tio montriĝis vana.

Ne ĉiuj ŝatos ĉi tiun filmon 60 jarojn post la faktoj; la ritmo estas sufiĉe metoda kaj religio fariĝas ŝlosila temo. Mi trovis Incubus sufiĉe bona, mia atento neniam ŝanceliĝis. Vikio (kie mi akiris multajn fonajn informojn por ĉi tiu recenzo) asertas, ke parolantoj de Esperanto ne ŝatas kiom malbone ilia lingvo estis parolata ĉi tie — sed tio estas atendebla. Por ripeti penson el alia recenzo, Shat almenaŭ parolis siajn dialogojn memfide. La ceteraj aktoradoj estis bonaj.

La reĝisorado kaj muziko estis bonaj, sed la kinematografio estas rimarkinda. Ne nur ĝin ĉefe filmis Conrad Hall (poste gajnis Oskarojn pro Butch Cassidy kaj la Sundance-Infano, Amerika Beleco, kaj Vojo al Pereo) sed ankaŭ William A. Fraker - kiu estis nomumita por Oskaro kvin fojojn - la vida aspekto estis altkvalita, precipe dum fantomaj nebulaj noktoj.

Se ne jam estus sufiĉe da historio, la filmo estas supozeble malbenita. Milos Milos (jes, tio estis lia nomo. Interalie, li estis unu el la korpogardistoj de Alain Delon) mortigis la fremdiĝintan edzinon de Micky Rooney, poste sin mem, alia aktoro - Ann Atmar - memmortigis sin baldaŭ antaŭ ĝia mallonga publikigo, kaj du jarojn poste la filino de alia aktoro - Eloise Hardt - estis murdita en ankoraŭ nesolvita krimo.

Incubus ne plaĉas al ĉiuj gustoj; tamen, mi ĝojis, ke mi finfine provis ĝin. Se vi amas ion kiel Carnival of Souls, tiam vi devus almenaŭ provi la filmon ankaŭ.

English

There’s plenty to discuss w/ this motion picture. Director Leslie Stevens-after creating The Outer Limits-made this black-and-white flick that many have noted was inspired by Bergman. The print was feared lost for years, until one w/ burnt-in French subtitles was discovered in ’96. In recent years, another print in far better condition was discovered; this is what Arrow used for both physical and streaming release. Given that on a few occasions, you briefly see French subtitles appear… that new print must not have been complete. There’s more but I’ll explain at the end.

First, an explanation of Esperanto is probably needed. It was created in 1887 by L.L. Zamenhof as a means of creating “a universal second language” anyone could learn. That idea is a noble one although there are wildly different accounts of “who speaks it” … everywhere from 30,000 to 2 million! While not expressed as such, it’s been speculated that the usage of it in Incubus was mainly to strengthen the eerie vibes throughout.

After all, the film concerns succubi (the plural of succubus) living in a remote area right by a well purported to have magical powers. Those women target sinners that visit the well, as offerings to Hell. One of them-Kia-decides to instead target a good man who visited that well… William Shatner! Another succubus attempts to stop Kia’s harassment of Shatner & his sister, but that proved to be futile.

Not everyone will care for this film 60 years after the fact; the pacing is rather methodical & religion becomes a key theme. Me, I found Incubus to be pretty good, my attention never wavering. Wiki (where I got plenty of background info for this review) alleges that Esperanto speakers don’t like how poorly their language was spoken here—but that’s to be expected. To echo a thought from another review, Shat at least spoke his dialogue confidently. The rest of the performances were fine.

The direction and music were fine but the cinematography has to be noted. Not only was it mainly shot by Conrad Hall (later won Oscars for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, American Beauty, & Road to Perdition) but William A. Fraker-who was nominated for an Oscar on five occasions-the visual aspect was quality, especially during spooky foggy nights.

If there wasn’t already enough lore, the movie is allegedly cursed. Milos Milos (yes, that was his name. Among other things, he was one Alain Delon’s bodyguard) killed the estranged wife of Micky Rooney then himself, another actor-Ann Atmar-took her own life shortly before its brief release, then two years later the daughter of another actor-Eloise Hardt-was murdered in a still-unsolved crime.

Incubus is not for all tastes; however, I was happy to have finally given a shot to. If you love something like Carnival of Souls, then you should at least give the flick a shot as well.

I Review a Short from 1908

This is a short one today. I discuss 1908's The Electric Hotel: 

For those unfamiliar with the game from influential Spanish filmmaker Segundo de Chomin… my schedule only allowed a review of something short. As he was a contemporary of Georges Melies (typically, both created pictures full of camera/editing tricks along w/ plenty of phantasmagoria as there were wild sets, usually bizarre creatures, demons, ghosts, etc.), Chomin deserves more attention from cinephiles. The three from the director I’ve seen before last night fit this category: Legend of a Ghost, The Red Spectre, and The Bewitched House.

The Electric Hotel is by contrast a light-hearted silly thing. What they mean by “electric” is “when a couple check into the hotel, every item-including ones that they own-becomes sentient & via stop-motion, the viewer sees the likes of tables, razors, clothing, & brushes moving on their own.” To steal a line that more than one mutual uttered in their reviews, “it’s more like the hotel is haunted.”

This plus a funny last minute that’s a great punchline meant that this was a delightful 9 minutes. Those that enjoy the output of Melies yet have never given the works of Segundo de Chomin a shot—you might become a fan

Super Fuzz

Super Fuzz (Poliziotto Superpiu) (1980)

Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Sergio Corbucci!

Starring: Terence Hill, Ernest Borgnine, Joanne Dru, Marc Lawrence, Julie Gordon

From: El Pico S.A./Transcinema

This sure was a wacky Italian comedy filmed in South Florida where neophyte police officer Terence Hill acquires superpowers. I’ve known of Super Fuzz for years-how they were able to get Ernest Borgnine for a large role, how this was from Sergio Corbucci (!) or how it has an earworm soundtrack, especially the opening credits song, called SUPER SNOOPER. Either or its original Italian title, POLIZIOTTO SUPERPIU, should be used by me instead.

Hill is Dave Speed. He is sent by his superior Borgnine to a Seminole village out in the Everglades but is exposed to a nuclear test of “red plutonium.” While the residents of the village were evacuated beforehand, it’s best not to broach such questions as “jurisdiction” or “fallout” as Super Snooper has the vibes of a cartoon. His love interest is of course Borgnine’s niece, and of course is a cute lady-Julie Gordon of Blood Rage (i.e. Nightmare at Shadow Woods) fame. Hilariously, this is the final film role for Joanne Dru, of multiple John Ford and Howard Hawks pictures, as a woman named Rosy Labouche, a truly tremendous name. Borgnine has the hots for her old film star character.

Even by 80’s Italian standards the movie is incredibly goofy. Yet, at least in this case I still chortled at this buffoonery, and there is superhero lore: after acquiring those powers in that accident, he learns what he can do yet there is his version of kryptonite: seeing anything painted bright red. Yeah, it’s regrettable that at one point, Dave Speed used his powers on his girl in a way that is horrible by 2026 standards yet she at least slaps him and later gets the last laugh. Otherwise, I chuckled at what was sometimes slapstick silliness and him outwitting some rather dopey villains.

The sites around South Florida were nice & as someone who lives in Florida (where the Publix supermarket chain has been king for many decades) it was a gas to see a scene set at one of their stores. However, it was the discoriffic soundtrack from Italo-disco megastars La Bionda that greatly entertained me. Note that I’ve known the title song (credited to The Oceans) many years before finally giving Super Snooper a shot.

For those older than me (i.e. someone likely at least the age of 50) who grew up in the United States during the 80’s, you’ll likely recall that this was an HBO staple during the early years of the decade. That detail was read on Wiki but was also independently confirmed elsewhere. As Super Snooper has been on my figurative watchlist for years by this point, crossing the movie off the list has been long overdue.

The Plague Dogs

The Plague Dogs (1982)

Runtime: 103 harrowing minutes

Directed by: Martin Rosen

Starring: John Hurt, Christopher Benjamin, James Bolam, Nigel Hawthrone, Warren Mitchell

From: A few different United States and UK companies, including United Artists

Parents, do NOT show The Plague Dogs to your children!

There was more than one choice that could have been made concerning the viewing of additional animation best for adults. Selecting the other Martin Rosen animated film adapted from a Richard Adams novel seemed logical, especially after stumbling upon a random YouTube account that had upscaled 4K music videos and films, presumably done by AI. The usage of such tools for this purpose, that’s a rabbit hole best worth not going down. To clarify, what was viewed was the original UK release at 103 minutes rather than a much shorter edit released in the United States.

Another rabbit hole that I don’t want to go down: the usage of animals in laboratories to test products or otherwise conduct experiments. The opening minutes are quite upsetting (and sets the tone) as we see a Labrador mix dog named Rowf drown in a tank then resuscitated; this is a common practice. No wonder a fox terrier named Snitter convinces Rowf to escape. This movie is so grim and bleak, I can’t even make a joke concerning how rough the film is-or is that RUFF-when humans are killed, death is a constant theme, Snitter often wishes that he would die, neither dog receives any breaks from fate, and there is a reason why the film is titled The Plague Dogs.

Between the plot and my stating that the tone is comparable to such bleak entertainment (the movie is perfect for those that want to create their own Bleak Week in the future) as Grave of the Fireflies, many will be hesitant to ever press “play” in the future. If abuse of canines is not a deal-breaker, you’ll find a dark yet fascinating story as the two leads are forced to survive in the rural northwestern section of England-full of woods & mountains-and question their own mortality as their only companion is a fox they have a love/hate relationship with & as they kill sheep, occasionally pondering if they should quit & embrace death instead.

Several elements kept me transfixed through this harrowing journey. The British voice acting was swell, from John Hurt and Nigel Hawthrone to names less familiar to me and even Patrick Stewart in a small part during the conclusion. The music was pleasant. However, it was the stunning animation that captivated me-partially the animation was done in San Francisco-none other than Brad Bird was one of the animators. Whatever I review next, undoubtedly will be less heartbreaking and traumatic than The Plague Dogs.

Watership Down

Watership Down (1978)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Martin Rosen... and John Hubley

Starring: The voice talents of John Hurt, Richard Briers, Ralph Richardson, and such famous voices like Denholm Elliott & Roy Kinnear

From: A few different animation studios 

A movie finally watched because… someone on a messageboard recently posted a link to a YouTube video mentioning films and TV shows that traumatized people like me who are now middle-aged-“kinder-trauma,” if you will? Yes, it’s true. For decades I’ve known of Watership Down as an animated movie arguably better for adults than children. The merits of that argument won’t be debated here; rather, I’ll note that this is quite mature in its plot & themes.

After an opening explaining lore concerning how a Creator made different animals & why rabbits are targeted by different animals, it isn’t long before a rabbit clairvoyant (a phrase I’ll never utter again) realizes that the warren he & his colony-to use the official term for a group of rabbits-live in will be demolished by man, necessitating a long trek to a new home.

I can say that this is a tale where rabbits are in peril on a number of occasions, blood is shed, adult themes are presented, there are “scary moments” and a key plot point is that this colony of rabbits is a “sausage factory” and they need females to propagate the species! Parents can decide for themselves what their children should experience at what age. What I know for certain: as an adult I can appreciate the lush animation, the charming score, the pleasant song sung by Art Garfunkel, those mature ideas, and the solid lore that’s an ever-present theme throughout.

Overall, I was happy to have finally witnessed this British animated picture w/ plenty of notoriety, featuring the voice talents of many famous UK actors of stage and/or screen, along with Zero Mostel voicing a comic relief gull who delivers exposition. I can think of at least one other similar animated character but the chuckles did help brighten a rather bleak film a bit.

 

Pardon Us

Pardon Us (1931)

Runtime: 70 minutes

Directed by: James Parrott

Starring: Laurel & Hardy, some of the usual co-stars, Walter Long, June Marlowe

From: MGM

It was rather unfortunate I chose to review a movie on Juneteenth* that contained a(n unknown to me beforehand) BLACKFACE subplot.

This film was selected as the 70-minute length fit my schedule the best, and with all the Laurel & Hardy I’ve reviewed here-silent and sound, shorts and features-might as well discuss what wasn’t planned to be their first feature-length picture but that’s how it turned out. The gimmick is that the duo are sent to prison; you see, this was still the era of Prohibition so when they purchased the ingredients at a store to make their own beer and they sold some to an undercover cop… that’s why they were convicted then sent behind bars.

They meet a tough named Tiger (portrayed by Walter Long, who besides appearing in The Three Stooges short Three Little Pigskins alongside Lucille Ball was ironically was in The Birth of a Nation) and caused havoc, including engaging in great wordplay while in a class taught at a prison. The blackface segment-more than 10 minutes long-was after a prison escape and they were on the run. This was a disguise as they were… on a cotton plantation as Black characters constantly sang songs! You can see how this will be uncomfortable-at best it was awkward for a dumb white guy like me. That still had laughs that weren’t related to race-L&H were the ones that were lampooned in this segment.

The blackface moments didn’t ruin the experience, although no shame if that’s a deal-breaker for you & you don’t want to bother. Other feature films like Sons of the Desert and Way Out West are better, more entertaining. That said, this is still a fun time. Stan has a loose tooth which causes inadvertent raspberries-that causes the expected problems. Unexpected was the appearance of a Tommy Gun as if it was The Public Enemy and an attempted shanking!

Contributions from other familiar faces in the L&H universe (James Finlayson, Tiny Sandford, director James Parrott) plus a memorable climax equaled a film I was happy to have seen starring the legendary duo.

* As people from around the world will read this review and Juneteenth has only been a holiday in the United States for several years, brief explanation is warranted: it marks the end of slavery in the United States in 1865.

 

The Ghost of Yotsuya

The Ghost of Yotsuya (Tokaido Yotsuya Kaiden) (1959)

Runtime: 77 minutes

Directed by: Nobuo Nakagawa

Starring: Shigeru Amachi, Norkio Kitazawa, Katsuko Wakasugi, Shuntaro Emi, Ryuzaburo Nakamura

From: Shintoho

This is the 1959 movie The Ghost of Yotsuya from Shintoho based on an old kabuki play, not the 1959 Daiei movie of the same name based on the same play. You can see how this is confusing-even on the Eternal Family platform, they have the Daiei film but their page for the film credits the director of the Shintoto picture. I viewed this on the Criterion Channel-the other movie wasn’t selected as this has been seen far more and the ratings are a bit higher.

A ronin named Iemon (not Lemon like the citrus fruit!) murders the father of his wife Iwa so they can get married. A pal is unwittingly roped into the scheme; this results in more murders. The marriage isn’t a happy one despite the presence of a young child-Iwa passes away. She’s the titular ghost, looking for revenge. It does take awhile for the death then appearance of the apparition—however, this allows for the story and characters to be built up and it was all a delight, despite Iemon’s abhorrent behavior.

Given that director Nobuo Nakagawa went on to direct Jigoku the following year, the more gruesome than expected moments + the strong visual moments shouldn’t have caught me off-guard. As Iemon is quite the SOB who causes much havoc with his selfish decisions, the revenge was incredibly sweet-& the movie is less than 80 minutes in length. As there’s also some nice scenic outdoor scenes, this version of Yotsuya was a delight. It likely won’t be until far in the future but eventually I should view the Daiei film to compare & contrast.

 

Two Billion Hearts

This is a 1995 FIFA documentary concerning the 1994 World Cup: 

Who knew that since 1954, FIFA has produced a film of each World Cup? I was ignorant of this until a random Tweet noted this recently, while noting that at least in the United States, all of those movies were on FIFA+, which is on the DAZN platform along with the other sports this platform has. While June hasn’t been great overall, something nice is to have the World Cup games on in the background while I sometimes do other things or listen to other audio.

I usually don’t watch soccer (as us Dumb Americans call it) although I’ve gone to some games live in Orlando. I’ll give my thoughts on this current tournament at the end of the review. For a service that was free, I was quite happy that only one ad played before the film began, and never again.

It made sense to see the film of the 1994 tournament, a.k.a. the first time this extravaganza came to the United States. The presentation was largely what you’d expect: after an opening where Americans were ignorant of soccer-accurate; it was only a few years after this that Major League Soccer began & the sport was more niche here back then-various contenders were featured in a logical order which wasn’t always chronological but was never confusing. Backstories were provided for each team that added context. Aside from the audio dropping out for a few seconds and-mainly when changing reels-the footage looked ROUGH, otherwise the print quality was pretty good.

Sure, this wasn’t perfect. A tragic moment was after the tournament when Colombia’s Andres Escobar was murdered in his country, probably due to allowing an own goal against the United States—that was only briefly mentioned at the conclusion. I suppose fanaticism leading to a murder of a star player probably would be a downer for this sort of documentary… in addition, there’s plenty of dialogue in languages other than English which is never subtitled. Needless to say, I don’t speak any other languages (especially Swedish or Bulgarian) so there’s a decision that can be disagreed with.

Otherwise, a swell job was done in presenting the tournament to those unaware—from the stellar footage shots of the games to the fans both at home and watching in their home countries. The narration is from a familiar voice: Liev Schreiber. I don’t plan on checking out those other FIFA films even if others were narrated by two Bond actors (Brosnan, Connery) among other actors and one was directed by Michael Apted.

A nice story of the ’26 World Cup is how people from around the world have visited America and especially in the United States, have enjoyed the food, customs, people, and everything else. Look at that random German Twitter user Freddy-he and his mates went viral and now are treated like dignitaries to the point that they talked to NASA astronauts on the ISS and will soon meet Ella Langley! The decision to expand the field from 32 to 48 teams is one I don’t agree with… then again, the Spain vs. Cape Verde match is a great story & a casual like me has found the early stages of the tournament to be fun.

I don’t know how many reading this were even alive in ’94-let alone have interest in this era of soccer-but if you want to see footage of Romario and Roberto Baggio…

The Furious

The Furious (Huo Zhe Yan) (2025)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Kenji Tanigaki

Starring: Miao Xae, Joe Taslam, Enyou Yang, Brian Le, Yayan Ruhian

From: In the United States, Lionsgate

Or: In this nightmare of a June 2026 for me-where even the browser that I use (Firefox) is now broken after today’s update-how an unnecessary 4th act can ruin a movie, especially one I’d been looking forward to.

In the 13 (!) years I’ve been here and the 4,001 films I’ve now reviewed (!!), this is only the third time I can recall marking a review as containing spoilers. However, I feel this is necessary to explain why Furious was a letdown for me. Recently, I heard great buzz elsewhere & even comparisons to The Raid. I love The Raid-the sequel, much less so. That had a bad story and absurd action that was just Too Much. Sadly, those are also my complaints with The Furious. I’ll explain in a review later this month why June has been so miserable, but even at the cineplex my luck has been rotten.

It's set in “a city in Southeast Asia”; why they couldn’t name Bangkok is beyond my comprehension. In any event, a mute Chinese badass has his young daughter kidnapped by child traffickers. Meanwhile, another badass has a missing wife-she was investigating said traffickers. They team up. Now, the action beats reminded me of modern pro wrestling—overly choreographed and becoming overkill. Unlike modern pro wrestling (which is just absolutely unwatchable, for the most part), most of the action here was quite delightful to view. Dudes Getting Wrecked (TM) was a lot of fun here.

Regrettably, the idea of a 4th at that has been prevalent in 21st century Hollywood and has hampered many a film reared its ugly head here. How our mute hero is so unstoppable he might as well join the Avengers or Justice League isn’t my preference yet I see the same thing in Indian movies and that’s not a deal-breaker. Unfortunately, there are others that are also unstoppable; there’s a villain that out of nowhere in the 4th act that suddenly slaughters all his bosses and is superhuman out of nowhere.

Things go down the toilet once the 3rd act ends w/ the climatic rescue of the children from the traffickers. Besides that villain suddenly becoming superhuman, we see the return of Hulking Brute superhuman. There’s a big brawl early in the 2nd act where we see Hulking Brute hold his own 1 on 2 against our humans, until his face is literally beaten into a bloody pulp; yes, that image of his face is fuzzy in the background yet is still obvious, especially on a cinema screen. Yet, the 4th act begins with Hulking Brute resurrecting… and his face is fine! That’s right, no damage aside from a scar or two!

I should have walked out of the movie at that point, no lie. From that point, everything in the 4th act was just stupid and overblown, full of poor ideas. Sure, some plot strands would have been left unresolved but the three acts that cinephiles would probably decry as “basic” would have been hunky-dory with me, several dumb moments aside. Instead, a sour taste was left in my mouth with those dumb superhuman villains; I know that no one else will agree but that’s my honest opinion. “Plot armor” is another giant 21st century movie problem that I wish would be banished.

It was nice seeing a reunion of Joe Taslim and Yayan Ruhian from The Raid, at least; however, IMO this film is not legendary like that was, a joyous theatrical experience. Shame about that 4th act… it’d be nice if June would stop being a nightmare for me, but hopefully the next film I review will be one where I am not so negative.

Guess What, I Loathed Backrooms As Well!

 This is Exhibit B in “Why most horror movies that cinephiles love made this century are massively overrated in my eyes.” If people didn't hate me after I said that Obsession was bad or my going Scorched Earth on the new Masters of the Universe, they sure will upon knowing I went Scorched Earth on this piss-yellow movie. Strap in, this'll be another long review.

In my dissertation of Obsession, I mentioned how that most horror cinephiles loved in the past 15 or so years have done nothing for me. Many examples were listed; two more that I recalled only days afterwards were a pair of horrendous remakes: Suspiria and The Evil Dead. Now, I did view the first Kane Parsons The Backrooms video from 2022... for the first time yesterday, a few hours before leaving to see this film! How that dude literally fell into that liminal space was stupid yet the vibes overall were creepy. I know there were many other videos after that; whether viewing those would have changed my opinion of this-probably not.

There's a cold open which wasn't bad; after that, I hated every decision that was made. Like with Obsession, the movie just failed on a fundamental level. I wasn't thrilled by the alcoholic loser dick that was our lead, or his (unintended?) off-putting conversations w/ his therapist. I know people will be APPALLED by this admission too, but this is my first Renate Reinsve movie—the presumption is that the weirdly bad performance she gave here isn't indicative of her talents and instead is the fault of the material/director, or perhaps even a language issue. It was a strange character w/ a half-assed “troubled past” backstory + both leads were given some rotten dialogue; many actors probably would have struggled. One day I'll check out a Joachim Trier picture where presumably I'll like her performance much more.

Let's see, I hated:

* How this only superficially felt like it was set in 1990.

* How they tried to give a backstory to this liminal space when the unknown concerning that was a big part of its appeal. Not one iota of that backstory worked and only reminded me of another overrated horror film made within the past 10 years which at least was better than Backrooms. Get this, it's all trauma and grief! What a new and exciting idea in modern horror...

* How I didn't give a damn about the lead as portrayed by Chiwetel Ejiofor. You can guess how I felt about his two young employees who constantly dropped F-bombs.

* How I didn't like Reinsve's character, but I probably made that plain already. It was impossible to give a damn about her inept therapist, that's for sure.

* How I was never scared! There's only a moment or two I found to be a tad bit creepy; that's it. The rest is random absurd crap that was supposed to be unnerving, soil your pants terrifying, nightmarish... boy, was it not. The vibes in the first short weren't even present.

* How the movie had no rhythm or pacing... at least good rhythm and pacing.

* How the movie treated its audience w/ utter contempt. There was a needless “look at the map” reminder as if the audience wouldn't remember that this map was established like a half hour earlier. Did they do that in case they were afraid that this boredom would be a cure for insomnia?

* How the movie turned into what I'll describe as “David Lynch if David Lynch had an IQ of 75... and was in the midst of a crack binge!” The worst sort of surreal, it was, along w/ pathetic and laughable.

* How some parents took their children (!) to this disaster! What made them think this was a good idea? Whether those parents were too cheap to hire a babysitter or the children watched those YouTube videos way too young, that is undetermined.

* How those same children started scrolling their phones! Normally this would be enraging. However, they were positioned where it wasn't too distracting.. .and I almost wish I could have joined them! Which reminds me:

* How boring the movie was overall.

* How Backrooms could have affected my mood for the other movie I saw at an AMC last night. That review is coming tomorrow and some won't like how that film ultimately disappointed me-was it because I was so ticked at how Backrooms wasted everyone's time?

* How Backrooms didn't even get a reaction from the crowd once everyone was put out of their misery and the end credits rolled. They couldn't have been stunned silent because they actually enjoyed and were moved by this poppycock! At least there was uproarious laughter after the ending of Undertone; I didn't agree with their derision yet at least it was a reaction I'll never forget. I was hoping for boos or yelling or couples arguing about its merits. Instead, there was nothing.

My giving a bottom-of-the-barrel rating is incredibly harsh, admittedly. The sound design had its moments and I can't fault the set & production design. Otherwise, the highlight for me was recognizing a song in the background as Reinsve went into a room and took presumably pills from a cabinet. It was Ulterior Motives! Much to my delight, the original 1985 song master tapes were found and is now on YouTube under “AOP 1985 Mix.” In short, a snippet of that tune was uploaded in 2021 by a guy who vanished as he did not want to admit it was from an EIGHTIES PORN known as Angels of Passion. The truth was only revealed about two years ago. Why it's in this movie, who knows... but RIP to one of the tune's creators-Philip Adrian Booth-who just passed away days ago. It was great that this catchy tune was found, that a copy of the song without “noises” is now available, and that about six months after this was ID'ed, so was The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet—which is another nice 80's ditty.

Apologies for the diversion, but that was far more enjoyable to elaborate upon than why this inexplicably popular (especially at the box office) motion picture absolutely failed for me. Heck, I would have enjoyed watching Angels of Passion for its plot and characters!

Maybe it is time to have an existential crisis. Why has June been so crummy in general? Why has the only theatrical new release in 2026 that I've raved over been Baz Luhrmann presenting great Elvis concert footage and drawing an awesome mixed crowd of people... or why the only theatrical movie seen in the past month or so that hasn't been a let down was the new Star Wars-and that's only because it met my expectations of being mediocre.

Honest, I gave both this and Obsession a chance to wow me like it did everyone else; are my tastes so bizarre now that so many modern pictures don't work on me at all? This must be the case, as awful as this is to admit. I guess I should choose better in regards to what I watch & review; this might mean “don't watch modern cinema for awhile.” “Avoiding anything released by A24” is probably a swell idea too, along w/ “please avoid movies from YouTubers.”

BMX Bandits

BMX Bandits (1983)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Brian Trenchard-Smith

Starring: James Lugton, Angelo D'Angelo (yes, that's his name), Nicole Kidman (!), David Argue, John Ley

From: Nilsen Premiere

Yes, I wanted to see another movie w/ Nicole Kidman. Even now, only a few of her pictures have been peeped by me; this is not due to any sexist reasons. Rather, that is an oversight on my part. As this is part of my collection (nevermind the details how!), last night seemed the best time to check out something Ozploitation.

After an opening where a well-organized heist is done at a bank-involving a van being driven through the front window of the bank-two of the henchmen involved with the heist are total buffoons. They are tasked with retrieving special walkie-talkies crucial to an upcoming huge score. Much to their dismay, a pair of young teenage boys named Goose and P.J. found it first, and sold those devices to fund bike repairs. They have a Meet Cute w/ Kidman’s character Judy at the supermarket. Soon, the clown henchmen are after our lovable trio.

The movie’s on the juvenile side and the heroes are greatly aided by how dumb their foes usually are. No kidding, one of the heels goes “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” as if he’s Curly Howard. At the same time, sometimes the film does have an edge even after its opening. A long segment is spent on the run at night in a cemetery. More than twice as long is a rather extensive chase where they on bikes are usually dodging a 70’s Ford Galaxie-a large sedan-and cause wanton destruction in a number of locations, including unexpected ones like a waterpark. 

Brian Trenchard-Smith’s movies are quite the mixed bag once he left Australia. However, in his home country the one’s I’ve checked out have all been at least solid. If I-a child of the 80’s & 90’s-had experienced BMX Bandits my rating now would be higher as viewing young teenagers outwit stupid adults via silly methods would have tickled me pink. That said, even as a jaded adult I can appreciate the action beats, some funny dialogue that did make me laugh, the 80’s soundtrack (the random Aussie pop of the period they used, on the other hand…) and how charming the seaside town of Manly, New South Wales appeared. The cinematography was from future Oscar winner John Seale, who later did everything from Dead Poet’s Society and Fury Road to The Hitcher and The English Patient.

For those curious, the lead triple weren’t a THROUPLE, as the kids would say. All were just pals-only one scene had Goose express an attraction towards Judy, which wasn’t reciprocated. Thus, she wasn’t able to say that heartbreak felt good in a place like Manly, New South Wales…

Days of Thunder

Days of Thunder (1990)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Tony Scott

Starring: Tom Cruise, Robert Duvall, Nicole Kidman, Michael Rooker, Randy Quaid

From: Paramount

Half paying attention to the World Cup match last night between the United States and Paraguay-where Paraguay got its ass kicked!-was the main inspiration for me to see a Tom Cruise film; he was there at the match in the Los Angeles suburbs, sitting next to David Beckham and his wife. No comment on Beckham or his wife!

My reason for selecting Day of Thunder: recently, elsewhere there was discussion over the blatant homage to Top Gun in The Mandalorian & Grogu. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after Tony Scott passed away that I better appreciated his talents. That's even on a troubled production like this, where Don Simpson & Jerry Bruckheimer were out of control, spending millions of dollars frivolously & partying all the time like they were Eddie Murphy.

The plot itself: standard sports story where Cruise (named COLE TRICKLE as there was once a driver in the sport named DICK TRICKLE, no lie) is a hotshot racer in another level of auto racing who wishes to join NASCAR. There are rivals, a crew chief who is the source of occasional friction, a team owner responsible for more friction, a love interest, crashes, some laughs, an amusing freeze-frame ending... what is an asset is that according to Wiki, several incidents in the film actually occurred w/ real-life NASCAR drivers, as many characters were based on figures in the sport. Thankfully, Trickle wasn't an unstoppable hero; rather, he had many flaws.

Additional assets included appearances from those involved w/ the sport (including driver turned announcer Ned Jarrett, who just passed on the 4th of this month), races filmed well, entertaining characters, a great cast full of familiar faces, and the thankful decision to have Nicole Kidman be more than just a love interest by her delivering a fiery promo over how dumb Cruise was as a macho man who believed he could control fate, especially in an auto race with “other infantile egomaniacs.” In addition, there's a nice score from a young Hans Zimmer, collaborating w/ the forever-underrated Jeff Beck.

Days of Thunder is silly yet especially now, I appreciate a big motion picture that doesn't wink at the camera and takes the subject matter seriously. While I don't watch NASCAR, some races were viewed when I was a kid in the 80's and 90's. As the movie accurately portrayed, it was still a Southern phenomenon, thus hotshot Cruise from California would ruffle feathers, and I'm sure there were teams that drank moonshine while on the road. That is a memorable milieu I'm sure is a bygone era long-gone from NASCAR. There is but one reason why there was no regrets in discussing the film here.

The Last Voyage

The Last Voyage (1960)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Andrew L. Stone

Starring: Robert Stack, Dorothy Malone, George Sanders, Edmond O'Brien, Woody Strode

From: MGM 

For those that love obscure old aquatic disaster movies… late Wednesday night, I DVR’ed this film from a Turner Classic Movies screening; that night they played a few films in that category, most prominently The Poseidon Adventure. I have viewed & reviewed that but not The Last Voyage. The cast is what intrigued: Robert Stack, Dorothy Malone (yes, a reunion of a pair who were in a pair of Sirk films; they didn’t just do Written in the Wind. There’s also The Tarnished Angels), George Sanders, Edmond O’Brien, and Woody Strode.

The action began immediately after the MGM logo. A fire in the boiler room would soon lead to a massive explosion. Captain Sanders was way too reluctant to admit this was an issue and they should evacuate. Much of the drama was Malone being trapped by debris due to the explosion. They have a young daughter best described as “cherubic” who cries often. I was reminded why disaster films tended to have more characters-even at only 91 minutes there is still a time or two where the momentum seemed stalled.

There’s a continuity issue or two and I was always amused when the occasional random monotone narration from disembodied voice would appear. Otherwise, The Last Voyage was a pretty good time. The performances are all satisfactory + there are plenty of suspenseful scenes/setpieces during the runtime, some of which were appropriately sweaty. The key asset of the production was the usage of the French luxury liner SS Ile de France, a ship about to be scrapped. The filmmakers were able to wreck that ship, adding plenty of authenticity to the proceedings.

A nice detail is that Strode-always shirtless due to the part but I’m sure he didn’t complain as he was in tremendous shape-had a heroic role larger than you’d first suspect. In this era, that was nice to see a Black person play such a character.

For those that like at least some of the disaster flicks from the heyday of the 70’s & wish for more, The Last Voyage might be a trip worth embarking on.

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: William Asher

Starring: Jimmy McNichol, Susan Tyrrell, Bo Svenson, Julia Dufy, Marcia Lewis

From: Royal American Pictures

What a movie to watch during Pride Month!

I’ve known of this movie for years, that there are incestuous overtones, that this was one of Bill Paxton’s first roles-back then, he was known as William Paxton-that there was a twist. Well, I was unaware that homosexuality was a plot point, that negative stereotypes are mentioned and that Bo Svenson’s police detective is incredibly homophobic, uttering a certain slur often.

Poor Jimmy McNichol-no, not because he had the same hairstyle as his sister Kristy had at the time, to steal a line. Rather, he’s a 17-year-old who lost his parents as a toddler due to a car wreck. I’ve never seen Final Destination 2 but know its most famous death due to cultural osmosis-well, it was that kind of car wreck-that opening was shot by Jan de Bont, of all people. Jimmy’s aunt Cheryl is insane, and not just because she has “feelings” for her own nephew. She is mentally ill. Mix that with the vile character Sevenson portrayed and the movie is not the most comfortable watch.

Be that as it may, the movie is still perversely entertaining, especially if you enjoy watching trashy pictures. It is critical to note: the movie is NOT homophobic; in fact, the movie demonizes homophobia, portrays homosexual characters rather positively-especially for the era + presenting bad behavior from the cops-I know many will appreciate the film for those details alone. What I’ll remember most about this motion picture is the unsettling vibes throughout, some gory deaths, and especially the performance from Tyrrell.

Susan Tyrrell was tasked with delivering a BIG, BOLD performance, and this she did superbly. This went a key component of making Butcher a dark delight. The rest of the cast was fine (including Julia Duffy as Jimmy’s girlfriend & “That Guy” actor Britt Leach) and the direction from veteran William Asher was decent-much of his work was in television, including I Love Lucy and Bewitched! 

Whether you call it Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker or Night Watcher-an even more nonsensical title-this stands out as something different in the slasher era and for certain tastes, the picture will be a masterwork.

The Bowery

In the first of two posts I'll make tonight, here's an interesting Pre-Code picture I recently peeped: 

The Bowery (1933)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Raoul Walsh

Starring: Wallace Beery, George Raft, Fay Wray, Jackie Cooper, Pert Kelton

From: 20th Century Pictures 

I’ll apologize for not “being myself” a few times in June already; in fact, as the kids would say, I “crashed out” at least once! It’s best for me to forget about outside factors that have resulted in a lousy June so far. As I’m still hoping for a nice variety this month, the way I’ll return to normal is by viewing something old & obscure but the Pre-Code fans will at least find this interesting. A mutual’s rave review in the past put this on my radar; finally, I gave this a shot-I made the right decision w/ this Raoul Walsh effort.

This effort from 20th Century Pictures (as it was known then before they merged with Fox) couldn’t have been made once the Hays Code was a thing; I heard that a place name in 1890’s New York featured the N-word… that is correct. Well, that word is also said aloud, along with other racial slurs that won’t be repeated. That is only one of many wild moments-this was quite entertaining, even if Wallace Beery-in a totally Wallace Beery role-hits an annoying woman from behind w/ a slapjack, knocking him out! BTW, Beery is named CHUCK CONNORS.

Beery owns a saloon; George Raft-as STEVE BRODIE-is a rival. A unique conceit is that both lead volunteer fire brigades, although they move on from that plot point as their feud escalates once Fay Wray enters the picture. Little Jackie Cooper is also around-his character was SWIPES MCGURK-as a scamp who has Beery as a father figure. This balances different genres rather well: comedy, drama, romance, action, and there’s even a few songs. The film is a lot of fun-salacious moments aside-even if the two stars did not get along during filming-allegedly because Raft started getting cast in roles that Beery would have had before. Spoiler, but the two characters fight each other and well, it apparently got out of hand.

The pace is fast, the cast full of familiar faces-there’s small parts for Charles Middleton, “That Guy” actor Irving Bacon, Paulette Goddard, Heinie Conklin (he of many movies & many Three Stooges shorts) and in an important historical note, The Bowery was Lucille Ball’s first role. Pert Kelton was a performer unknown to me yet she was utterly delightful in her few scenes.

The Bowery was a rather good tonic that brightened my mood; hopefully there will be no further hiccups in the month of June.

An Update

Here's what I posted yesterday on Letterboxd instead of a film review due to massive site issues which involved me posting the same review twice Don't worry, I'm back to normal now... well, as normal as I'll ever be: 

For those wondering why I posted two reviews of the same movie yesterday that were identical except for the second review including an opening blurb bemoaning how horrible the Letterboxd site is… that’s because the Letterboxd site is horrible, barely functional in general to the point it’s like everything is held together by chewed gum and chicken wire but was nonfunctional for a long period yesterday, while attempting to post a review. June still hasn’t been a great month so far and at the time this kerfuffle was occurring, the idea of taking a sabbatical from a site that's inexcusably bad for the amount of years this platform has existed was a strong one.

Today, I don’t feel that way; however, I still am miffed at how bad the site is, at least on desktop-the app has its own bugaboos. Don’t you just love it that for YEARS, when you attempt to follow someone, on almost every occasion you have to press the “follow” button like a DOZEN times before the action finally occurs?

If I continue to experience massive issues in simply attempting to post a review, then yes expect a sabbatical from me that’ll last who knows how long. For now, though, expect business as usual starting tomorrow. No way did I feel like checking out any films last night.

Brigade of Death

Brigade of Death (Brigade Des Moeurs) (1985)

Runtime: 96 minutes 

Directed by: Max Pecas

Starring: Thierry de Carbonnieres, Jean-Marc Maurel, Lillemour Jonsson, Bernard Rosselli, Gabrielle Forest

From: A collection of different French companies 

The sleaziest movie I’ve ever seen! This infamous French effort has been known by me for ages; it likely was first discovered via a mention on the Rupert Pupkin Speaks blog, it was that long ago. A streaming copy w/ English subtitles wasn’t available, legal or otherwise. In the midst of discovering another way of finding movies in the wilderness that is the Bowels of the Internet (long story) the inspiration was had to finally find a copy and add English subtitles-again, long story.

Brigade sets the tone immediately w/ its opening. Trans prostitutes are shown speaking to potential customers one night. A group of rowdies say the expected offensive comments to them, before a quartet of men in black leather & helmets on a pair of motorcycles guns them down, enormous squibs on their bodies producing plenty of carnage. 

The police are caught in the middle as a gang of rogues are targeting the empire of a drug czar known as The Greek. The storytelling comes across as fuzzy at times but that’s the gist. Gerard is a Vice Squad cop who is a loose cannon & this increases to an amazing degree after his sister is killed then other women he knows are targeted.

Let’s see, this has:
* Gruesome deaths. The finale includes a few that are wild.
* Homophobia. Besides the trans moments, the lead bad guy is a homosexual. You can guess which slur is bandied about more than a few times.
* Innocent people are killed
* Sex/nudity is ever-constant. This includes a threesome of naked people at a club and a literal orgy at a fancy soiree.
* The most noteworthy detail that will make people upset; the vibes of misogyny. Bad things happen to most of the women you see on screen: sexual assault, men beat them up, dudes make offensive comments towards them, and of course, some of them die.

The content of the movie is shocking by 2026 standards. However, those that enjoy trashy movies and are like me and are OK with seeing ultra-sleaze at least once in a blue moon… I never want a steady diet of such pictures but I wasn’t let down after not only viewing a few bad movies in a row, but in addition waiting for years to experience this insanity that made many Italian poliziotteschi flicks look restrained in comparison. Mondo Macabro released Brigade of Death on Blu so thankfully there is an option to legally see the movie-

BTW, the English dub is purportedly putrid so I’m relieved that wasn’t the version I tracked down.

Alone in the Dark

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Uwe Boll

Starring: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Frank C. Turner, Will Sanderson

From: Several different companies in the United States, Canada, & Germany

It was not the intention to watch another poorly-rated movie; starting tomorrow, I’ll return to a more cheerful disposition & see cinema I actually like. However, a mutual recently mentioned that I should watch “bad movies” more often. Well, I haven’t done this as often in recent years but in the past I once in awhile would watch such tripe as bad old B-movies, more than one effort from the notorious Uwe Boll and even in this decade, I’ve partaken in Madame Web, Cats, and the Ice Cube War of the Worlds-all are indeed rancid.

Unlike my last two reviews, I don’t foresee anyone becoming extraordinarily angry or befuddled why I found Alone in the Dark to be a disaster. Not only do most find the movie terrible, I actually did watch this before, like 20 years ago! So little was retained from the initial viewing, this might as well have been a first-time-watch. Boy, is this barely-based on a videogame picture incredibly bad. It’s irrelevant that none of those games in the franchise have been played, or that I know nothing about the franchise.

The film opens w/ a hilarious, rambling, massive infodump attempting to explain this nonsense plot. Frankly, the details aren’t important; this involves a vanished civilization, the paranormal, portals… things happen, but the viewer won’t give a darn about the scenarios or the characters, unless you get offended at the blatant ripoff of scenes from Aliens like I did. It’s all poorly told, utterly bewildering; I haven’t hated every Boll that’s been tackled but he’s tremendously flawed and most are pretty bad. It was clear why most of the details were long-forgotten.

There’s also an elephant in the room; it’s nice seeing the lead players & I can’t complain about the performances of Christian Slater or Stephen Dorff; I’m glad that both are still acting in films that at least get some sort of theatrical release. However, the decision to cast TARA REID as an archaeologist/museum curator was as absurd as described. That performance wasn’t great and she’ll never be a master thespian but I hate to eviscerate her. I’ve never hated Ms. Reid as there’s been no reason to & I feel bad that she’s had those “personal demons” for years. It was only unintended irony that the CG resembles a 2005 videogame, which is not a compliment.

I’ll be happy to soon forget most of Alone in the Dark again. This does not even have the temerity to be funny-bad like The House of the Dead with all its astounding creative choices. Alone is simply a mind-numbing, unenjoyable experience. Boy, am I now anxious to start watching good cinema again!

I Didn't Like Obsession, Either!

I explain why: 

This is Exhibit A in “Why most horror movies that cinephiles love made this century are massively overrated in my eyes.” Strap in folks, this'll be a long one...

If people weren't mad that I thought the new Masters of the Universe was one of the worst motion pictures I've ever seen, they will at my not even liking Obsession, let alone swooning over how it's "a masterpiece" like everyone else. No one's more disappointed than myself that this is my honest opinion. For context's sake, it has to be noted that while my opinions of modern movies are different from many on Letterboxd, that is especially so when it comes to the horror genre & what's been made in the 21st century.

I'm talking everything from the French Extreme films, Elevated Horror, indie darlings, and all the rest. Plenty I've skipped as there's been no interest. Now, I do rate films like Get Out and The Witch highly. Otherwise, It Follows, Hereditary, The Babadook, The Lighthouse, Talk to Me, Barbarian, the Candyman remake, the other Jordan Peele films-among many others-rate from “fine, I guess” to “mediocre” to “bad.”

Regrettably, what works for most people concerning such motion pictures just does nothing for me. For transparency's sake, the film was watched on Thursday, which was just a piss-poor day in general. Yet, even if the day was great, I got to go on a date with Inde Navarrette, and we attended a screening of this film... my opinion would be the same. The general idea was great-unfortunately, this did not work for me on a fundamental level. “Low-lighting” is one of the many modern cliches in this genre that I thumb my nose at, although that is also an industry-wide problem, as is “plots that make no sense if you apply even a modicum of logic to them,” “shallow focus” and “center-framed.”

Not Charlie Kirk... er, I mean “Bear” being a sad-sack pathetic loser is one thing. The fact that Nikki was his friend/co-worker for years and he was too much of a fraidy-cat to express his feelings is goofy, but I guess that's popular now to have an abhorrent horror protagonist, especially if it's a man. What I detested: the scares coming from Nikki YELLING, staring for seconds on end, sporting a goofy expression, staring for seconds on end while sporting a goofy expression, moving like she's a supernatural creature, the jump-scares, or those unnecessary gross-out moments-I couldn't be more opposed to this decision.

For those thinking that I loathed the constant F-bombs or the cat dying early on-yes, both are just irksome tropes in-what happened with the cat later was extremely unnecessary and I hated the movie the longer it went and the stupider/more unbelievable it became. If this was a short in an anthology-speaking of that, the ONLY good horror anthology made this century is Trick 'R Treat-and derived its scares & tension differently, then I'd probably love this. Perhaps that would also have less editing/continuity issues that stuck out large for me as someone who usually doesn't notice such things...

There are even bigger issues (such as how the female characters were treated) or how surface-level everything was but that'd be spoiler territory that won't be dived into. Obsession is another movie I could write a doctoral thesis about to list all the cardinal problems I had w/ the story and characters. Sigh... I'm still glad a random horror movie featuring an original idea has been such an unexpected hit that at least in the United States is still drawing big crowds and hysterically did better at the box office for a few days than the new STAR WARS movie... I'm glad most critics and fans love it-I just don't get it myself.

I can say that there were some nice subtle moments-there needed to be far more of those-and while the cast was hit or miss w/ me, Ms. Navarrette was by far the highlight. I could have an existential crisis over why June so far has been so crummy, why I've always felt like an outcast, why modern cinema is just so unappealing in totality, or more specifically why critics, the general public, and cinephiles have gone bananas over this film.

Perhaps I shouldn't worry too much, be optimistic that the rest of June will be better, and go back to a previous mindset of being baffled yet not worry about what's “popular” in recent years. After all, ever since I saw a Tweet last year describing the love for Everything, Everywhere, All at Once as “COVID-induced mass hysteria,” it makes me happy that a small segment are happy to be vocal over abominations like that insufferable crap was, no matter what “the masses” believe. Christ, that was much worse than even Obsession.

I'm glad that films like this and Backrooms (something that stands a good chance of eliciting another negative reaction from me) exist and aren't the lame, safe garbage Hollywood has made for far too long. Be that as it may, watching horror from the 20th century is just MUCH more gratifying for my tastes, no matter its flavor-Gothic, giallo, slasher, krimi, supernatural, etc. Sometimes I should just be satisfied that I'm “different” & not like anyone else.