Rude Awakening

It's been a few weeks but I'm reviewing an episode of an old British TV show... Hammer's House of Horrors, to be exact: 

I finally saw an episode of the 1980 British TV anthology show Hammer House of Horrors. I had a choice of 13 to choose from; this was selected as it seemed light in tone & I was curious about Denholm Elliott attempting to romance his much-younger secretary Lucy Gutteridge, i.e. the leading girl from Top Secret!

Note that Elliott is a dirty old man who is already married. His wife refuses to divorce him, so he's in a real pickle. This episode's gimmick is that Denholm is a real estate agent who has Gutteridge as a secretary, and he's in a surreal world where he-along w/ the viewer-isn't sure what's real and what's a dream as he is told about an old manor & he does disembodied voices, including one proclaiming, “You shouldn't have killed your wife!” British TV is different from its American counterpart; Elliott referred to his wife as a “bitch”... twice!

Also, the secretary Lolly looks completely different each time she appears; this adds to the surreal nature of the episode, along with such subtle details as camera angles/placement. Props to Peter Sasdy-director of such films as Taste the Blood of Dracula and The Stone Tape. This episode was fun, a macabre delight as Ol' Denholm is in a nightmare, bad things constantly happening to him. Elliott was magnetic as the lead, but I thought Gutteridge nailed it out of the park and was swell as Lolly, especially with the different personas she had in the dream(s).

Who knows when I'll see other episodes of the series (or even if I'll mention they were watched on Letterboxd) but I was happy to have seen something from Hammer House of Horrors.

Play Dead

Play Dead (1983)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Peter Wittman

Starring: Yvonne de Carlo, Stephanie Dunnam, Glenn Kezer, David Cuillinane,  Ron Jackson

From: United Construction Company... yes, a construction company!

Watching a film released by TROMA seemed appropriate for this time of year, especially when you didn't know beforehand they originally put it out. I literally laugh out loud each time an unexpected Troma Team Release is encountered.

Not that long ago, part of the ending of this film was seen-which some animal lovers won't like, let me put it that way-on one of Eternal Family's 24/7 streaming channel. I was intrigued, so why not check out regional horror (Texas, in this case) or something in the Old Biddy genre? The older meddlesome lady here is the only name of note in the cast, Yvonne de Carlo. As a real little kid, The Munsters was watched by me so it was a gas to see her here.

Ms. de Carlo was Hester, an old rich lady who uses “black magic” to control her dog Greta, using her a conduit to either kill or frame her remaining family members. Hester gives Greta to her niece Audrey and this is when the deaths start... via such methods as scaring someone into a passing automobile, electrocuting a woman in a bathtub, and even more cockamamie deaths I dare not spoil! This is original, at least.

There could have been more de Carlo, sure, and I understand why some think the pace is way too methodical. However, for my tastes I was always amused by this oddity, made by a United Construction Company-yes, a construction company; that's a first. There's gratuitous T&A, Greta watching Audrey making out or having sex w/ her boyfriend, and a fun detective duo of older man Otis & younger man Richard investigating the deaths who provide various laughs from their rapport, their repartee.

And of course, Greta was a good girl... a very good girl.

Older movies like this that are slow-paced of course won't be for all tastes; it's in fact the sort of regional horror that was released via Vinegar Syndrome. However, I was charmed by this ludicrous plot, by the decent score, by the usage of several smooth jazz library music tracks, by Yvonne de Carlo's gravitas. That Vinegar Syndrome Blu is now out of print; there is a market for such obscurities.

Puppet Master

Puppet Master (1989)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: David Schmoller

Starring: Paul Le Mat, Irene Miracle, Jimmie F. Skaggs, Robin Frates, Matt Foe

From: Full Moon Entertainment

I had never seen any Puppet Master movie until last night! This admission likely won't shock or offend that many, if at all. At least one film from many different horror franchises have been viewed, but not Puppet Master until now. Will a deep-dive happen in the future? No, yet this first installment from Charles Band was fun in a low-budget fashion, featuring a nice old hotel setting and effective effects bringing the puppets to life, including stop-motion.

Master does have a wacky plot—William Hickley animates puppets via “an Egyptian rite” in the 1930's until Nazi scum are after him, so he “unalives himself” but the puppets are hidden in the hotel. A half-century, various psychics get together at this hotel but one's an evil SOB w/ an insidious plot and they use the puppets to start murdering their pals.

You PERHAPS don't want to scrutinize the plot too hard; be that as it may, there are still colorful characters present that make this fun (including Paul Le Mat, who looked remarkably like Val Kilmer in the last years of his life), a bizarre woman who brought along her taxidermist-stuffed dog, an overtly sexual couple-this had nudity & sleaze-and the dolls themselves are quite memorable, brought to life well by the effects. Which one you'll love of course is personal opinion. Learning that Blade was modeled after real-life villain Klaus Kinski... that was hysterical.

Puppet Master was fun B-horror; the criticisms that there should have been more puppet action is understandable (evidently this was fixed in the sequels, including the next installment)-so is the desire for Barbara Crampton's role to be more than just a cameo-but there's no regrets in finally watching a movie from this long-running franchise.

Pan's Labyrinth

Pan's Labyrinth (El Labertino del Fauno) (2006)

Runtime: 118 minutes

Directed by: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Ivana Baquero, Sergi Lopez, Maribel Verdu, Ariadna Gil, Doug Jones

From: Several different Mexican and Spanish companies 

I don't have to ask... everyone will be APPALLED that Pan's Labyrinth had never been watched by me until Thursday night. “Checking out a 20th anniversary screening theatrically (the 2D version instead of 3D)” was the best way to have that first experience, at least. Unlike what's happened on a few occasions in 2026, there won't be any uproar over my review—Pan's was a very good time.

Through cultural osmosis I knew the basic plot plus the faun and the Pale Man. The presumption is that most have seen this already so a plot synopsis won't be necessary. I was a little surprised that more time was spent in 1944 fascist Spain than in a fantasy world... but that's not a demerit when it worked for the plot and the true villains were led by the truly vile Capitain Vidal, undoubtedly one of the most terrifying bad guys I'll see this month.

It was easy to feel sympathy for 10-year-old Ofelia & her pregnant mom as they are forced to live with such a brute. No wonder she becomes enchanted upon hearing from a faun that she's a princess in a mythical world, a world waiting for her return. That faun and the Pale Man were unforgettable creatures-as always, masterfully brought to life by Doug Jones. It was easy to root for Ofelia due to the obstacles placed in front of her and the performance of child actor Ivana Baquero; it was incredibly easy to root for the revolutionaries, particularly (spoiler) Mercedes, the housekeeper.

The effects were swell, effectively bringing that fantasy world to life; furthermore, the rural mansion in the woods with a great stone labyrinth were an evocative setting. This world was one I was happy to have finally visited.

 

The Foreigner (Unfortunately, the Steven Seagal Movie!)

The Foreigner (2003)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Michael Oblowitz

Starring: Steven Seagal, Harry Van Gorkum, Jeffrey Pierce, Anna-Louise Plowman, Max Ryan

From: Tri-Star/Franchise Pictures

Why did Netflix add THIS to their platform?

Besides mentioning that no review was posted yesterday-I was busy, including a theatrical viewing of a movie that will be reviewed tomorrow afternoon-the reason why I am subscribed to Netflix again... technically, there was a two month pause. A few days ago, there was a “Oh yeah, the pause is over, the service better be used again by me.”

The Foreigner not only served as a respite for all the horror films viewed in October, there's been a desire for years to view a truly terrible Steven Seagal film from his DTV era, mainly out of morbid curiosity. Foreigner featured many (though not all; I didn't hear anyone attempting to dub his dialogue because Seagal couldn't be arsed to do ADR) of the hallmarks emblematic of this era: dreary European locations, a portly Seagal too lazy to show off his Aikido martial arts, and a convoluted plot. That last point was the Achilles heel of The Foreigner.

This is not like The Big Sleep in having a complex story, or the work of an auteur, a virtuoso presenting a detailed, layered story involving thought-provoking characters that result in film scholars admiring the picture as if they were a sommelier appreciating a stellar Cabernet Sauvignon.

Rather, the film does not present its tale in the most cogent fashion. The main plot throughline, the viewer can comprehend... Seagal's JONATHAN COLD is a badass who used to be “an operative” who now freelances, including delivering a package. He's more than a simple courier... the viewer eventually learns the contents of the package, and why many wish to have it for themselves. However, this is full of incident, of too many characters, of dialogue that's boilerplate to this sort of picture, of poor storytelling that makes this too much of a headache for most people.

The Foreigner at least filmed in luxurious mansions, featured a few hilarious early 2000's moments-including the period techno soundtrack-a helpful explanation to everyone what asphyxiation is (?!) and used real squibs. Otherwise, this nonsense stinks. Seagal-as typical-sports his typical “constipated” face, which also described his performance! Aside from some unintentionally hilarious moments, the film isn't even all that exciting. Most people shouldn't even bother w/ this crap. There's also a sequel (!!), 2005's Black Dawn; I won't be bothering w/ continuing the adventures of Jonathan Cold.

Climax

Climax (2018)

Runtime: 97 excruciating minutes

Directed by: Gaspar Noe

Starring: Sofia Boutella & a bunch of randos

From: An absurd number of different companies

My first Gaspar Noe film... and my last!

I know everyone will be APPALLED by this admission, but the only reason why I even gave this movie a chance... late Monday night, there was discussion between several people in the comments of my review for Resident Evil (the new one), of all things. It concerned the need for likable protagonists-it's not always necessary, of course-and this movie was specifically mentioned. There are reasons why I avoid certain antagonistic European directors, but more on that later. Irreversible alone was good enough to avoid—at the same time, perhaps people would prefer I at least give directors a shot instead of blindly rejecting them... had I had known this was full of edgelord material (including moments of self-harm. There's a word of warning for those that would be triggered), no way this would have been streamed whatsoever.

I knew there was trouble right away... no, not at seeing A24's logo! Rather, it was realizing that they were showing what seemed to be the film's ending them started playing the END credits in reverse... only to stop then show what felt like an hour where we get intros to the numerous characters, which are modern dancers that I soon learned do preposterous modern dances. Then, it was seeing the modern pretentious trend of the movie presenting chapter titles on screen. Then, we hear pretentious prattle about random things, and I couldn't have cared any less! Oh, and we get the opening credits 45 minutes in; how rebellious... rolls eyes incredibly hard.

You can imagine my thrill at seeing a whole slew of characters you either couldn't possibly care about or were utterly detestable (some just loved saying the most vulgar comments concerning women & sex) even before they drink sangria spiked with drugs act once they are high on drugs, but not before a dance segment that felt like it was 5 hours long! Note that the kid I'll call “French Jonathan Lipnicki” is exempt from this criticism! I didn't give a damn how most of this was improv or the long takes or the camera placement/angles (most of which were “try hard” anyhow) when the movie is full of repugnant behavior.

Heck, a pregnant woman is kicked in the stomach then she HITS HERSELF in the stomach, and evidently-judging by a mutual's review-this is a Gaspar Noe director trademark! If I wasn't worried about people really hating me, I'd proclaim how much I despise Gaspar Noe as a human being given this film, Irreversible, and things I've heard about his work. I was reminded why there are good reasons why I've avoided such things as movies from directors that force their actors to act all monotone, or directors like Noe, von Trier, and Haneke. The virulently strong negative reaction I had to Climax is why I was right w/ my instincts concerning Noe as a massive edgelord.

Letterboxd members won't like that certain directors now most assuredly won't be given a chance (even if they've been recommended in the past or in the future) but honestly, my logic is... I hope my life will be a long one, but you never know. There's still way too many movies likely to be rated as “good” or better in my eyes that haven't been viewed yet; sometimes it feels like a real waste of time checking out aggravating cinema such as Climax. Perhaps it's better that I don't give some a chance rather than giving them a chance and some getting mad that my negative opinion is an outlier.

God Bless everyone who is a fan of Gaspar Noe; no shame there. He's just one of many 21st century directors & films whose popularity utterly eludes me. Hopefully it's a long while before I violently reject a movie like this; my rating would have been the lowest possible if not for.... some great songs on the soundtrack, no lie.

 

The Brain That Wouldn't Die

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Joseph Green

Starring: Jason Evers, Virginia Leith, Anthony La Penna, Adele Lamont, Bonnie Sharrie

From: AIP

I've known of Virginia Leath's disembodied head on the table for years; about time I finally saw The Brain That Wouldn't Die.

We open with a pair of doctors arguing with each other over a patient dying on the operating table. A few minutes later, we discover they are father & son! The son (Bill) is possessed w/ the desire to reanimate the dead & keeping body parts alive. Wouldn't you know it, he is in a convertible with his fiancee Jan and a lethal crash occurs... well, he saves Jan's decapitated head and revives it on a table. Jan is NOT happy with this arrangement and wishes for her brain to die, but Bill refuses. That is utterly horrifying.

Despite the multiple voices of reason, Bill's quest to find a new body won't be reasoned with. If the viewer didn't already loathe Bill, he not only visits “seedy joints”-one of which has an amazing painting on the wall of clothed dogs sitting upright on chairs drinking beer!-and constantly leers at young ladies to find the right bod, Bill also has a “failed experiment” literally locked in a room, portrayed by giant actor Eddie Carmel.

Of course the movie's outlandish, but in this ghoulish tale, it does comment on the autonomy of a woman-going against his love's desire to die-and other creepy plot points that unfortunately are still relevant in 2026. It's mostly competent in a B-movie fashion while attempting to explain how the mad doctor could medically succeed, while uttering dialogue sometimes more thoughtful than expected, while a jazzy score plays throughout.

Leith was quite sympathetic, and delivered a pretty good performance while we mostly only saw her cranium. The Brain That Wouldn't Die was bloodier, more graphic, and yes, sleazier than expected. Don't let its MST3K status make you automatically think the movie's utter tripe.

 

Horror in the High Desert 4: Majesty

Horror in the High Desert 4: Majesty (2025)

Runtime: 77 minutes

Directed by: Dutch Marich

Starring: Suziey Block, David Morales, Laurie Felix Bass, the voice of John Davis Walker

From: Luminol Entertainment

I still enjoy these movies. 4 is still like 2 and 3 in only presenting more lore and only minimally advancing an explanation as to the origin or further details on those weirdos are that are living in the rural desert of Northeastern Nevada... implied to be supernatural in nature.

There's even fewer characters than typical; Gal Roberts & Bill Salerno return but otherwise, it's just an older woman named Dolly (introduced in the last installment) who discusses the contents of a box. It's like the TARDIS in the amount of items it holds... it's all the records compiled by her late father Beau concerning the spooky events on the family's ranch, known as Majesty. This was from decades past, meaning notes on a typewriter, faux film footage-which didn't quite look the part-along w/ VHS footage, which was filmed on a SWEET RCA camcorder, so that did look the part.

The presentation is slicker, more polished than in the first three; this and and increased focus on the found footage are the only major differences... along w/ Beau not appearing on camera, just the footage from his POV. Otherwise, the scares are the same. It's the anticipation of seeing or hearing something in the dark... something subtle suddenly moving far away, a twig snapping, steps on gravel. With the VHS footage and its naturally blurry nature, that only increases the anticipation-the viewer is unsure if it's just the low-quality footage or something is moving.

Those that have seen & liked the first three should hopefully like it too—I did. Evidently, there will be a 5th and final installment in the Horror in the High Desert franchise, titled Mantis-no, not after the Guardians of the Galaxy character but rather it's the name of a mining company shown to be nefarious. Other reviewers have expressed concern that not all the plot points from the first four will be resolved before this story is wrapped. Understandable, but I'll be optimistic that creator Dutch Marich won't let everyone down.

No matter the outcome, these simple stories made on a low budget centered on people in isolated locations far from humanity discovering there's something mysterious but it's probably otherworldly... those scares are effective. From hearsay & what I've viewed with my own eyes, many found footage horror pictures aren't nearly as effective in delivering such scares. The format won't be for everyone—thankfully it is for me. No word on when the 5th installment will be released.

Exorcist II: The Heretic, Revisited

“It was horrible... utterly horrible. And fascinating.”

- Father Lamont (Richard Burton) describing a sight he saw, not describing Exorcist II: The Heretic... although it also fits!

I've reviewed this film before, and have now willingly seen it a few times in my life. While this should be Exhibit A in the dangers (right or wrong) of making a sequel to a beloved film that is far different from the original, it's always a movie that I found weird & fascinating, full of bizarre 70's touches. Locusts are a key plot point, them directly tied to evil. Psychiatrist Louise Fletcher has an institute full of glass walls that can be made opaque via lighting... a “synchronizer” that links two minds together via tones and flashing lights... Regan tap dances for a stage show... there's talk of humanity reaching a stage of collective consciousness in the future... Regan now has supernatural healing powers & seemingly cures Dana Plato of autism by making her speak...

It's all so wacky; no wonder audiences that made the first film a gigantic hit were all “WTF?” when this released in June of 1977. The numerous production problems for what was an expensive (for the time) production did not help-Boorman and several others falling seriously ill, constant script changes, etc.-were issues but a movie that wasn't as frightening as the first & was far more metaphysical, of course even back then many would want “more of the same” instead. Hiring a director who didn't even like the original movie and admitted he wasn't that concerned with satisfying the audience-again, no wonder.

The Heretic is now a difficult movie for me to rate; the story is an absolute mess and you shouldn't scrutinize it too hard. Yet, I've always been bemused by how strange it is. Father Lamont's trip to Ethiopia to talk to Kokumo-someone that survived possession by Pazuzu-was a serious subplot yet the advice sort of seemed, “That's it?” It's a shame the plot is so scattershot and doesn't coalesce (IMO) as some ingredients make sense... Father Lamont is someone else struggling w/ his faith-and knew Father Merrin-Regan still has the demon inside him, her caretaker Sharon (Kitty Winn) is damaged from the experience, etc.

Plenty of talent is in front and behind the camera. Morricone-delivering a rather bold score that naturally will be polarizing-Dick Smith, Albert J. Whitlock, and steadicam inventor Garrett Brown were all involved-those contributions were appreciated by me. In this day and age, all the practical sets and matte paintings created were cool. The Heretic isn't as enjoyable as Zardoz nor is it as good as Exorcist III by any regard... yet it is FAR better than a bizarre boondoggle like Megalopolis and is also FAR better than The Exorcist: Believer. Believer's “original” ideas is to have TWO young girls become possessed & presenting awful militant Christians.

I also haven't viewed the trailer for The Exorcist: Martyrs; evidently, it looks like the first season of True Detective... I haven't viewed a second of ANY True Detective show! Regardless, I hope Martyrs isn't bad. Many aren't like me in having such peculiar tastes (including enjoying many things 1970's) so you might not enjoy this wacky film that even I can admit is tremendously flawed. At least The Exorcist III is a sequel that has a strong reputation & despite its own production woes, many do like or love the second sequel.

Boorman and the Devil

Yes, this is the 2025 documentary concerning director John Boorman and the rather disastrous production of Exorcist II: The Heretic: 

Turner Classic Movies played this new documentary last night before screening Exorcist II: The Heretic. As someone who's always been amused by The Heretic and how it's an ambitious failure, learning more about its disastrous production was of great interest. Tomorrow, I'll post a new review of Exorcist II.

It's a standard documentary (which did feature some goofy, silly illustrations to present some moments. At least they weren't made by generative AI, as the end credits proudly proclaimed) where the opening minutes explain the career of director John Boorman before he agreed to direct the sequel to one of the best horror films in history. From there, the production woes were explained... multiple people became quite ill during production (including Boorman himself), the script constantly changed, and it was a complex production requiring many effects that they rushed to meet a hard deadline.

As it dared to be far different from the all-timer of an original, that was a reason the reviews of the time were virulently negative, although its quality was also a factor. Modern commentary is provided by the likes of Joe Dante, Mike Flanagan, & Karyn Kusama. At the conclusion, it was striking that they and the others they interviewed were divided on whether Exorcist II was “good” or not.

A huge asset is that they interviewed Boorman himself, along with a number of others involved w/ the productions, from crew to Linda Blair and Louise Fletcher before she passed away in 2022. This helped paint a picture of what went wrong, although it also should help people appreciate such aspects as the Moricone score, the production design, sets, and a slew of different effects. The film recreating Ethiopia on giant sets is impressive in of itself.

For the nerdy sort that enjoy making-of stories (even of movies seen as flawed or flat-out bad), Boorman and the Devil is a fascinating watch, one I'm glad was seen by me. Sure, we do on rare occasions still get bizarre films that are in wide release-look at Digger out now. Many of those aren't of interest to me or they turn out like Megalopolis... shudders. I've willingly viewed Exorcist II a few times in my life; its weirdness and 70's moments are a draw, but there's also the matte paintings of the legendary Albert J. Whitlock, the steadicam of its inventor Garrett Brown, William A. Fraker's cinematography & Dick Smith returning to provide its makeup effects.

This documentary not only spotlights how Boorman's career wasn't ruined due to the film flopping (thank goodness he had Excalibur), but also the disappointment that the cast & crew had that the movie still has an infamous reputation-many tried their best yet making a movie that's at least good will always be an arduous task.

She Killed in Ecstasy

She Killed in Ecstasy (Sie Toete in Ekstase) (1971)

Runtime: 80 minutes

Directed by: Jesus Franco

Starring: Soledad Miranda, Fred Williams, Paul Muller, Ewa Stromberg, Howard Vernon

From: A few different Spanish & German companies 

A movie I was happy to have finally seen; thanks, Eternal Family. It's been in my mind to do so for years—problem was, a streaming copy unedited w/ English subtitles was nigh impossible to track down, even in the Bowels of the Internet-I'm not someone who torrents, before anyone asks. Thankfully, the esoteric platform Eternal Family added it to their collection, making a viewing a reality.

Concerning Jesus Franco, I know he has many fans but out of the five films I've seen from him, the best were 60's horror early in his career: The Diabolical Dr. Z and The Awful Dr. Orloff weren't nonsense like A Virgin Among the Living Dead and Nightmares Come at Night were. Ecstasy wasn't the most logical picture either-including the dumbest police detective in cinematic history-and the ending made me guffaw in a bad way as it for certain contained the worst depiction of a certain event in cinematic history. It was also quite the decision to have a main plot thread centered on a doctor being banished from the profession because his experiments on bettering humanity and eradicating diseases centered on... human embryos. No comment on that. I will comment that for those who know Franco often used his male muse Howard Vernon in his films—yes he does have a role in Ecstasy.

This Dr. Johnson “unalived himself.” Thankfully for the viewer, his wife Soledad Miranda decides to kill the quartet of doctors who rejected her late husband in revenge, psychosis, and yes ecstasy. She was a highlight, and no, not for her beauty or her frequent full-frontal nudity. Rather, it was the performance-and how she was in anguish due to her husband's death-which was compelling. What a tragic death she had-only a month after the filming of Ecstasy concluded, she perished in a car wreck at only the age of 27.

On a lighter note, I really dug the score, even if at least on one occasion it seemed at odds w/ the action on the screen. Nevermind that, the music from Bruno Nicolai, Manfred Hubler & Sigi Schwab was quite entertaining, featuring more sitar than what I was expecting. The sunny scenery in Spain was also delightful. While the constant zoom-ins and zoom-outs were amusing, it was Miranda & the score which did plenty of heavy lifting, making me like the movie despite all the demerits. I also have to give Franco credit for some interesting shots/shot compositions.

I shouldn't write him off entirely—he made almost 200 films, after all, and he did more than horror. It might be a hoot to check out his “less popular” movies. As for She Killed in Ecstasy, despite not being as entranced by it as many have been these past 55 years, it's a relief to have finally tackled it after all these years.

I'm Dangerous Tonight

I'm Dangerous Tonight (1990)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Tobe Hooper

Starring: Madchen Amick, Corey Parker, Daisy Hall, Dee Wallace, Anthony Perkins

From: Several different companies 

This is exactly what I expected of “An ancient red Aztec cloak ends up at a California university, Madchen Amick stumbles on it, turns it into a dress, and anyone touching the material becomes corrupt.”

For years I've known of this made for television movie (basic cable, but it's not premium cable like HBO; rather, it was the USA Network) yet it wasn't until last night that I finally figuratively put on the red dress and gave it a shot. Besides Amick, there's also Dee Wallace in a refreshingly atypical role, a subdued R. Lee Ermey as a police detective, Mrs. Howell from Gillian's Island (Natalie Schafer) and college professor Anthony Perkins. The assumption is that plenty have viewed this already due to the director: Tobe Hooper.

Yes, Tonight is a silly movie where multiple women don the dress and they all behave badly. This even has Cinderella themes; Amick's Amy has deceased parents so she lives with her aunt, her daughter, & her grandmother—the aunt & daughter treat Amy poorly. Of course, she also has a love interest. This world is in a tableau where the constraints of basic cable meant there's no language or gore, the most gruesome moments told rather than shown.

Some may take issue w/ that; me, those constraints aren't a big deal in this case when I had fun w/ seeing people behaving badly & Amy attempting to deal with the ramifications of possessing such a dress. The film always remains fun with its escalation & scenarios. Amick made Amy a likable character, plus she did look great in the red dress... this is not top-tier Hooper by any regards nor is it as good as Salem's Lot. That said, if your expectations are in check & you aren't immediately turned off by period slut-shaming dialogue, you might enjoy this silly motion picture as well.

 

The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!

The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming! (1966)

Runtime: 126 minutes

Directed by: Norman Jewison

Starring: Carl Reiner, Eva Marie Saint (RIP), Alan Arkin, Brian Keith, Jonathan Winters

From: The Mirisch Company

RIP Eva Marie Saint

In this special early Wednesday upload of a review, I mention how after hearing late yesterday afternoon that this Oscar winner had passed away at the age of 102 (!), it felt right to not even delay a day tipping my cap to who was one of the last surviving links to the Golden Age of Hollywood. I haven't watched too many of her films but her two most famous (North by Northwest & On the Waterfront, the latter her Oscar-winning role) have been viewed & reviewed on Letterboxd. Russians was selected due to... my knowing of the film for years, knowing several of the main cast, and the plot description making the movie sound wacky yet amusing, a comedy of errors.

A Soviet sub runs aground on a small Massachusetts island; this is an obvious problem, because the Cold War. 9 of the crew (led by Alan Arkin!) are tasked w/ finding a boat to dislodge them, but they stumble upon a family of Saint, Carl Reiner, and two small children. It's not long before the plan to sneak around clandestine & steal a boat goes awry and not only does most of the island know, great exaggerations occur and dozens are running around w/ firearms ready to start a war on their island.

Coming is rather funny as this absurd scenario escalates, different characters reacting to this differently, and plenty of conflict among the island's residents. There's puns, slapstick, foolish characters getting humiliated, etc. I enjoyed the Norman Jewison direction and the Johnny Mandel score. Now, this movie treated the Russian characters more fairly than you'd expect for a big Hollywood production; much of the Russian dialogue isn't translated, the crew aren't too terribly harsh to Reiner's family, and the conclusion was an unexpected & welcome twist.

While Saint was sidelined for long stretches of the film, she still did swell in a film that was one of those 60's ensemble comedies w/ a big runtime and even bigger cast. After all, it's always nice to see the likes of Brian Keith & Jonathan Winters. Russians is one of those loud, boisterous comedies which aren't always my thing but in this case the film was quite amusing & not a bad way for me to pay tribute. Note that the exterior of the cottage the leading family is residing in certainly looks like the cottage seen in 1941-the bucolic New England island was actually locations in the northern half of California... now there's a loud, boisterous comedy where the comedy often didn't land.

Ninja Scroll

That's right, this is the famed 1993 anime, which was seen theatrically last night: 

I was happy to have seen a Yoshiaki Kawajiri film theatrically last night. In the past, I've discussed the OVA Cyber City Oedo 808 along w/ the films Wicked City and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. All were enjoyed so Ninja Scroll being 4K restored & playing on cinema screens was something I was glad to have tackled last night.

A badass ninja named Jubei is followed during the feudal days of Japan. He teams up with a pair of unlikely allies as he not only deals with an old foe but also ninjas with supernatural abilities. Much of the story seemed relatively realistic for a standard tale set during the Tokugawa Shogunate but then there's a dude who releases wasps from holes in his back (a word of warning for those w/ trypophobia) & another dude made out of rock who sexually assaults a lady after he rips her clothes off... whether or not the reader believes that is stereotypical of Japan is up to them. Thankfully, those weird sexual moments are rather infrequent.

Ninja Scroll has those spooky elements & a dark fantasy romance mixed in but primarily this is an adventure where Jubei attempts to stop an insidious plot to overthrow the government; the movie is punctuated with bloody scenes where blood sprays out of bodies to a degree that even surpasses a Lone Wolf & Cub film. It's a very entertaining yarn buttressed by stunning animation that looked great 4K restored and a varied soundtrack from Kaoru Wada that even included a sitar yet it all fit what was seen visually.

Multiple sources have proclaimed that this alongside Akira and Ghost in the Shell were the most popular anime in the West during the 90's and helped that artform become popular here. I never have followed that scene (let alone during my childhood in the 90's) but I can say that while this isn't as deep or thoughtful as an Akira or Ghost, Ninja Scroll instead was a dark fantasy action picture, and at that it succeeded as entertainment. As someone who rarely dips his toes into this world, it was the right decision to check out Ninja Scroll.

I Discuss an Old British TV Program... or as They'd Call it, Programme

It's Thriller, and I discuss 1974's A Coffin for the Bride: 

I discuss an episode from an old British TV anthology show. As sometimes occurs, discussion elsewhere sparked this viewing. In addition, Prime recently added Hammer's House of Horror-an episode of that will be reviewed later this month-and they recommended the show Thriller, which ran on ITV from '73 to '76 and evidently featured episodes (each a little more than an hour in length) that were horror, mystery, or yes, thriller. I knew less about that than House but I was intrigued to give an episode a shot. Thriller's Wiki page was examined and this was selected, not just due to its enticing title.

Many of the episodes featured at least one recognizable UK or American actor; this had Michael Gwynn, Tony Steedman (i.e. “So-Crates” from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure), and... a young Helen Mirren! I know some eyebrows were just raised & a few will find that appealing. Coffin is more a thriller than anything else although the idea of a dude who disguises himself & has aliases for the purpose of marrying rich women for the sole purpose of drowning them in a hot tub or bathtub & staging it to look accidental-that will be horrifying for some people.

Not everyone is oblivious to the guy known as Mark Walker for the majority of the episode; a solicitor is suspicious. Meanwhile, Walker meets both a loud, brash woman and a much more subdued Mirren. It'd be a crime to reveal much more; I can say that the production values were comparable to a Doctor Who from the period, which is a compliment as it's cozy and high production values aren't needed in either case. The plot isn't the most realistic but that wasn't the goal; the goal was to deliver a devilishly fun production, a story w/ multiple twists & surprises—in that regard, A Coffin for the Bride succeeded.

It is unknown if I'll view additional episodes of this show or if I do, they will be discussed here... however, I was happy to mention that show elsewhere to someone that was making a query about television horror anthologies... as I am happy to mention this on Letterboxd to anyone that would be interested in such programming.

 

The House that Dripped Blood

The House that Dripped Blood (1971)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Peter Duffell

Starring: Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Denholm Elliott, Jon Pertwee, John Bennett

From: Amicus

It's been too long since any horror anthologies have been viewed, especially from Amicus. For the newer readers, I enjoy most of the anthologies I've seen made before 2000, while the only one I've ever liked made in the 21st century was Trick 'r Treat... and some famous efforts were seen by me, including those terrible V/H/S movies and The ABC's of Death. Amicus made the likes of the 1972 film Tales from the Crypt, Vault of Horror (both were also based on the 50's EC Comics that the 90's show was inspired by) and The Monster Club... all of which I enjoyed like I enjoyed The House that Dripped Blood.

The framing story: a Scotland Yard detective is in a police station, to investigate a missing horror actor-Jon Pertwee in a part designed to be hammy, and he delivered! That was my favorite story. Overall, an officer regales him with a quartet of tales set at the eponymous house. What happened to Pertwee is the final tale-there's also Denholm Elliott being driven batty while attempting to write a horror novel in the house, recent retiree Peter Cushing being unable to enjoy a life of reading & gardening due to a wax statue, and the weird interactions Christopher Lee has with his young daughter... don't worry, it sounds gross but the scenario is frightening instead of upsetting.

One reason I tend to enjoy these older anthologies: they are usually fun, light in tone. Each segment here isn't dour or miserable; instead, while they have their chilling, frightful moments, they are also quite entertaining. As always with these, some segments are better than others but I enjoyed all four plus the wraparound segment, the expected variety that you expect in all anthologies. To my delight, not only did one segment feature some Bava lighting, the film is imbibed w/ an interesting, fitting score from Michael Dress.

The house (a mansion out in the middle of the woods) is appropriately moody, totally early 70's in that the interior is full of green. While The House that Dripped Blood ironically does not feature any blood on screen, that was irrelevant to me with the presence of a nice cast-there's also the likes of Joss Ackland & Ingrid Pitt-spooky figures associated w/ this time of year, deaths, and the macabre vibes throughout. My opinion is likely an outlier but I'll forever be salty that the 21st century anthologies are so dark & miserable, instead of being delightful like the 70's movie Tales from the Crypt or even something like Tales from the Hood.

Alice, Sweet Alice

Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Alfred Sole

Starring: Linda Miller, Mildred Clinton, Paula E. Sheppard, Niles McMaster, Rudolph Willrich

From: Harristown Funding

Alice, Sweet Alice is yet another film I've known of for years but for whatever reasons I've put off the viewings until now. Shudder just including it on their platform gave me the final push to check out something I should have reviewed long ago. This was like an American giallo, inspired by Don't Look Now, Hitchcock, and Diabolique.

The main theme, though, proved to be Catholic guilt. The titular Alice is a 12-year-old girl (played by a girl who was 19! Paula E. Sheppard did not look like an adult) who is part of a family w/ divorced parents in 1961 New Jersey. Alice is a troubled girl, who treats her sister Karen (Brooke Shields!) poorly; she feels as if her mother shows favoritism towards Karen. Alice's sister is going to receive her first Communion, but-as this happens in the first 15 minutes, the revelation that Karen dies a gruesome death at church will be mentioned.

As an aside, there's a morbidly obese character named Alphonso who is not only a fat slob who eats wet cat food with his numerous felines, but is blatantly a... well, as sites like YouTube and other platforms unfortunately make people say rather than the actual term, “a PDF file.” For those that are really uncomfortable w/ a scene where an adult forces himself on a little girl, you've been warned.

I won't elaborate on the impact Catholic guilt had on the plot. I can reveal that there's a creepy clear mask of a woman wearing makeup, a yellow raincoat-the most blatant allusion to Don't Look Now-a hysterical aunt in Annie that is both funny and OOT, Alice as a viable suspect in her sister's murder, and their mother's refusal to believe the seriousness of her daughter's struggles, including w/ mental health.

Alice, Sweet Alice was an eerie tale filled w/ dread, the austere, dreary urban New Jersey setting perfect for setting the mood. The movie is punctuated with shocks and gruesome moments. Mix in a wild ending, and I am glad to finally cross this film off my figurative list.

The Abandoned

The Abandoned (2006)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Nacho Cerda

Starring: Anastasia Hille, Karel Roden, Valentin Goshev, Valentin Ganev, Paraskeva Djukelova

From: A number of different European companies 

I wanted to view a film from the old After Dark Horrorfest and a Letterboxd mutual mentioned they were a big fan of The Abandoned.

An adopted woman returns to her homeland of Russia in her early 40's. Her family history is so murky, it took years to discover she's inherited a rural farm in the middle of the woods, totally isolated. Atmosphere is provided by both the woods and abandoned buildings, whether in the daytime or at night. After the opening act, the viewer discovers this is a tale of the weird & surreal variety; as one of the screenwriters was Richard Stanley, that in hindsight isn't too big a surprise.

The Abandoned does have plenty of moments featuring what I call “2000's horror movie green”-you know which shade I'm referring to. The film also has a measured, deliberate pace; this won't be for all tastes but when I'm interested in the plot and characters-as was the case here-my interest never wavered. I did appreciate this unique tale on the haunted house genre. Its style and vibes makes it stand out compared to the other flicks I'll view during Spooky Season this year.

The interesting story set in the woods of Bulgaria (substituting for Russia) featuring a small cast & some effects... The Abandoned & its idiosyncratic take on family will resonate better for some than for others.

The Skeleton of Mrs. Morales

The Skeleton of Mrs. Morales (El Esqueleto de la Senora Morales) (1960)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Rogelio A. Gonzalez

Starring: Arturo de Cordova, Amparo Rivelles, Elda Peralta, Guillermo Orea, Rosenda Monteros

From: Alfa Fila S.A.

I am glad to have “tracked down” a copy of this film over two years ago; about darn time I finally checked it out, right? This film is more black comedy than horror, but indeed the titular Mrs. Morales is a rather terrifying woman. Domestic/familial abuse is a real-life nightmare.

She's long been married to a taxidermist, but Pablo is no Norman Bates; Gloria treats him disgracefully. She has convinced her pals that he's an alcoholic, woman-beating lout when he's actually a cool, gregarious dude that interacts w/ children and did not deserve all her manipulations, her vile behavior while professing she's a pious member of the Catholic church... screenwriter Luis Alcoriza wrote some Luis Bunuel films so I shouldn't have been surprised by this angle. It was made clear that Pablo still has feelings for his girl despite her hideous mistreatment of him.

Whether you think Pablo's behavior in the second half of the picture is warranted is up to personal opinion. For certain, director Rogelio A. Gonzalez and cinematographer Victor Herrera do a swell job w/ their jobs, creating a lovely black-and-white film to examine, striking imagery seen throughout. The colorful characters were acted well by the talented cast. Pablo has friends of his own we see on a few occasions. Gloria's priest is the most memorable of her pals. Arturo de Cordova was a gem as Pablo, relishing this delicious part.

Skeleton is a macabre delight, especially during the great finale. It's a shame that at least in America, people have to do some digging to even find a copy for streaming purposes. It is worth the effort, IMO.

That's the Way of the World

That's the Way of the World (1975)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Sig Shore

Starring: Harvey Keitel, Cynthia Bostick, Ed Nelson, Bert Parks, Earth, Wind & Fire

From: United Artists

How could I not watch a film starring Harvey Keitel w/ Earth Wind & Fire?

I've known of That's the Way of the World for years; it's not always been available for easy streaming online & there are only rare showings on channels like TCM. Well, on the 21st night of September-I saw what they did there-the Shout Studios YouTube channel uploaded the film. I also had to view this film before September ends.

It was only after I started the film did I realize it was an edited for TV version of the film. Despite my comments made throughout 2026, I am not against vulgarities in general. I don't mind some cursing; there was groans early on which I saw & heard some rather obvious S-bombs dubbed over. It would have been better if the upload made it clear that the print wasn't uncut & was modified, that's all. At least there didn't appear to be that much cursing throughout so that never became a major issue.

Keitel is COLEMAN BUCKMASTER (what a name) who is a great producer for A-Chord Records. He wants to continue making songs for EWF (excuse me... they are creatively known as THE GROUP here) but his bosses want him to work for The Pages, who are a bland, safe act comparable to The Carpenters... not bad and a safe act for the conservative owners but to him it's a bland, soulless pastiche. Personally, I also prefer the dynamite sound of EWF. Yes, from the bosses of the label there's rather thinly-veiled racism concerning a Black act.

That's the Way of the World (the film, not the great album of the same name which served as the soundtrack for the movie) is best when the viewer hears the songs from the album. The title track and Shining Star are the two most famous tunes. The plot itself-concerning Coleman's frustrations that he doesn't have his freedom and is forced to work on music he doesn't care for-is fine, mellow, methodical in its pace.

It was interesting to see how a song is made in the studio. However, to address a valid criticism I saw elsewhere, it's a curious irony in a film that obliquely addresses racism in music, that there isn't as much of EWF on screen or even on the soundtrack as you'd prefer. C'est la vie, for those that'd be interested in seeing Keitel either shirtless or wearing a tight top, the movie does give you that! Ol' Harvey turned 87 this year; I'm happy to give him his props while he is still alive... what a talented actor that's been enjoyed for years now. Hopefully he's alive for years to come and I'm glad he's still on screen but who know what could happen when you're not that far away from your 90's.

In any event, this was a naturally cynical look at the music business-which yes does explicitly address some horrifying predatory behavior; it is flawed for certain yet of course I would laugh at the 70's fashion-that one of the guys in The Pages wore a shirt w/ the Coca-Cola label except it says ENJOY COCAINE-or the girl in the Pages is known as VELOUR PAGE or the scene at a roller rink where The Group perform in the middle of the rink. I wasn't sure why the movie fired strays at Janis Joplin, but...

Diablo

Diablo (2025)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Ernesto Diaz Espinoza

Starring: Scott Adkins, Marko Zaror, Alanna de la Rossa, Lucho Velasco, Diana Hoyos

From: Many different companies

I was happy to see a new to me low-budget action picture starring both British actor/martial artist Scott Adkins and Chilean actor/martial artist Marko Zaror. The former has had roles in the likes of John Wick 4 and Doctor Strange while the latter was in Machete Kills... and John Wick 4. As stated on numerous occasions, it's a shame that cinema has regressed from the good old days where martial artists like them or a Michael Jai White could have a theatrical career making entertaining action flicks for the big screen.

This project had heavy involvement from the two leads. Adkins portrays a dude who goes to Colombia (where the film was shot by a Colombian crew) to kidnap the teen daughter of a pretty bad dude. Yes, the “kidnapping” isn't as sinister as it first appears; Zaror portrays a psychopath, whose distinguishing feature isn't the hysterical balding look he sports nor how the viewer will blatantly be reminded of the T-800. Rather, it's... he has a hook for a left hand that can also be either a metal fist or a knife!

There are some silly moments, the plot doesn't reinvent the wheel and the pedantic could nitpick... which perhaps I've done with cinema a time or two before... Me, I had a pretty good time. The Colombian setting was a nice change of pace. The movie was shot well & had plenty of what I wanted... brawls, martial arts, gunfights, etc. I also wanted to see Dudes Getting Wrecked (TM) and epic fights between the two leads; Diablo delivered on those promises as well with the cinematography changing when the action beats drop. As they were filmed in a dynamic manner that made the viewer feel each impact, I was more than satisfied.

Diablo wasn't an insufferable film that was overlong or filled w/ aggravating characters or ruined by “modern humor” that isn't funny and ruins the mood nor is it nonstop cursing as if someone or everyone is John Davidson... this is the sort of action film there needs to be more of in 2027 & beyond.

 

Monster from Green Hell

Monster from Green Hell (1957)

Runtime: 70 minutes

Directed by: Kenneth G. Crane

Starring: Jim Davis, Robert Griffin, Joel Fluellen, Barbara Turner, Eduardo Ciannelli

From: Gross-Krasne Productions

Am I the only one that remembers 1995's Attack of the Killer B-Movies?

It was a 1995 special that played September 2nd of that year (a Saturday) on NBC which was like MST3K (Frank Conniff was involved) except that they played four edited B-movies over a two hour block and they cut away to some stars of NBC's teen-centric shows at the time-including Dustin Diamond!-and Elvira. This was one of the four movies on the special; I didn't remember that was the case until last night as it has been 31 years. The other three were The Wasp Woman, Killers from Space, and The Navy vs. The Night Monsters. Only the last film was remembered... how can you forget something called THE NAVY vs. THE NIGHT MONSTERS?

Concerning Monster from Green Hell... the Americans fire up a pair of rockets into space carrying various animals as a precursor to discover whether humans could survive in space. Of course it goes wrong; one of the rockets crashes back to Earth, in “Africa.” “Space radiation” creates the giant wasps. Of course, there's a white doctor who has lived among “the hostile natives” for years and those natives are about as stereotypical as you'd expect for a B (or is that BEE?)-movie released in 1957 America on a double-bill w/ an edited dubbed version of the Toho Abominable Snowman film Half Human. In fact, there's a feared region known as Green Hell. The Black folk are portrayed as the superstitious type, unsurprisingly for the era.

Naturally, this is silly trash filled with stock footage, sometimes combined rather obviously with the wasp model, which at least didn't look bad. Heck, I was even a little pleasantly surprised that the region of Africa most of the movie's set in was a real location rather than a fake country or worst of all, never identified beyond “Africa” as if it's all one country. It's what was a territory then but in 1960 became the country of Gabon.

As typical for a 50's monster movie w/ hardly any budget, the monster isn't shown as much as perhaps the viewer-especially a modern one-would prefer. You can nitpick how plenty of time is eaten up by the two white scientists from America traveling 400 miles by foot to reach the village. The stock sound effects of “African animals” played at a near-constant rhythm is silly. Be that as it may, this was not incompetent like a Robot Monster or something from a Coleman Francis production. This was competent programming featuring acceptable effects designed for the drive-in movie crowd that presumably also did alright in later television viewings.

The film does have two cast members of some renown. Lead actor Jim Davis later created Garfield... no, this Jim Davis was Jock Ewing during the early days of the old TV show Dallas. Barbara Turner was an actor and screenwriter for decades (mainly in television) & also was the mom of Jennifer Jason Leigh—there is a resemblance.

Yes, it's hysterical that the giant wasps in Monster from Green Hell NEVER FLY; unless you have apiphobia, if especially you enjoy these B-movie 50's sci-fi pictures, you might think Green Hell is at least OK.

The House by the Cemetery

The House by the Cemetery (Quella Villa Accanto Al Cimitero) (1981)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Lucio Fulci

Starring: Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Ania Pieroni, Giovanni Frezza, Silvia Collatina

From: Fulvia Film

It was about time I finally saw the third & final movie in Lucio Fulci's The Gates of Hell trilogy, right? The Beyond and City of the Dead are movies I like yet don't love like most others do. Give me Zombie, Don't Torture a Duckling, and The New York Ripper instead. That said, it was long overdue to complete the trilogy. Amusingly enough, I have seen kid actors Giovanni Frezza and Silvia Collatina in The New Barbarians and The Great Alligator earlier in the year; time for me to view their most famous roles.

This movie will remind you-regardless of intent-of The Shining. A doctor moves his family to a Boston-area home to complete the research of his late colleague. Well, the late doctor committed suicide after killing his mistress in the house; the son of the family (BOB; not Bobby, nor Robert, nor Robby, but BOB) is a little boy who sees a spooky little redhead girl named Mae that foretells doom.

Yes, it's a Fulci so you don't want to scrutinize the plot or logic too hard. As typical, adults dubbing the children in an old Italian genre effort is always hysterical. The plot & logic can be wonky here yet this haunted house tale inspired by M.R. James & Lovecraft concerning the lore of the place-tied to a Dr. Freudstein-still has the sort of spooky vibes I dig while still delivering the gory moments you'd expect from the director. There's a great cobweb-strewn cellar in the house which sets a great mood which coexists w/ such wacky moments as the most tenacious bat in cinematic history.

Helping is that the story is relatively straightforward & not a convoluted mess full of disconnected scenes like I feel City of the Dead and Beyond were. A creepy villain reveal is also a nice asset, as is the typical unforgettable Italian genre score-Walter Rizzati and an uncredited Allesandro Blonksteiner in this case. In hindsight, Cemetery should have been viewed sometime sooner than 2021, which is when The Beyond was tackled in full. Alas...

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (La Dama Rossa Uccide Sette Volte) (1972)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Emilio Miraglia

Starring: Barbara Bouchet, Ugo Pagliai, Marina Malfatti, Marino Mase, Pia Giancaro

From: Several different European companies

It's been too long since any giallo films have been viewed; this certainly was a genre example—complimentary. It shouldn't be the only giallo I review the rest of the year, nor the only picture I view on Arrow's streaming platform.

The opening is set in 1958 at a castle, a pair of sisters arguing and fighting w/ each other more harshly than should be expected of a sisterly relationship; they are raised by their wheelchair-bound grandfather. He tells them lore after they ask about a creepy painting. There's a curse each century where as revenge for the Black Queen murdering her abusive sis the Red Queen, the Red Queen does in fact kill seven people, the Black Queen saved for last.

Flash-forward to '72 & of course, a woman clad in a red cloak is murdering SOB's, whether it be via stabbing or other methods. There's what I expected from the genre: a detective investigating the murders, red (cloaked) herrings, sleaze, a bottle of J&B whiskey in the background-as it was for most Italian genre movies of the 70's-sleaze, atmospheric settings, a convoluted plot, and more sleaze. The most famous names were Barbara Bouchet and Sybil Danning; both are shown naked-no one should be surprised the latter took off her clothing!

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times isn't the best of its type yet the German castle/village/city setting added nice flavor, there's nice cinematography, & the killer bellows a crazed laugh after each kill. A bonus for someone like me is some hysterical period fashion, perhaps appropriate for some of the leads working at a fashion house. Shame on me for not viewing any giallo flicks as of late until now.

Ninja Terminator

Ninja Terminator (1985)

Runtime: 88 mesmerizing minutes

Directed by: Godfrey Ho... well, part of it at least

Starring: Richard Harrison (RIP), Jack Lam, Hwang Jan-Lee, Phillip Ko Fai, Jonathan Wattis

From: IFD Films & Arts, Ltd.

RIP Richard Harrison

Wednesday night, it was announced that Harrison had passed away Friday the 18th at the age of 90. Somehow, despite my viewings of many films from Italy, the Philippines & other countries, this was my first film of his. He made many dozens of B-movies (and lower-grade) for decades; due in part to meme reasons, Ninja Terminator is one of his most (in)famous movies now, which coincides w/ its status as one of the most (in)famous pictures from Godfrey Ho.

As with many of his pictures, footage from a foreign picture was taken and combined w/ footage filmed by Ho-usually of ninjas. In this case, it's the 1984 Korean flick Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry. This was combined-awkwardly, as you'd expect from the blending of two completely different pictures-with a tale revolving around ninjas fighting over a magical Buddha statue. The Korean footage has an onslaught of taekwon-action (to borrow a phrase from the City on Fire website) while the new footage is charming in its own way—this includes toy robots delivering important messages & Harrison wearing eyeliner when he's adorned in ninja garb.

An important detail to note is that a rare widescreen copy of Nina Terminator is available on YouTube; sure, the picture is pillarboxed on all four sides but is still of course preferable to the fullscreen version. Well, in the comments of the video, a true hero known as redcomet_622 created a list identifying most of the songs that appear throughout. It's at the end of the review, as there are MANY stolen songs throughout. It's everything from Japanese soundtrack tunes, Lalo Schifrin, and many Isao Tomita songs to Jean-Michel Jarre, multiple tunes from Wendy Carlos' A Clockwork Orange score, and most famously, Echoes from Pink Floyd. While all illegal, it was a GREAT soundtrack/score someone compiled.

While a mess narrative-wise, Ninja Terminator is a trashy good time. The Korean action is quality, the new action is fine in a different fashion, and if you don't try to scrutinize the story too closely... you might have a good time.

Three final notes:

Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry was feared to be a lost film; however, Neon Eagle included it as an extra on their Blu release of Ninja Terminator... in December they'll release it on its own.

From reviews, I know the film includes a song not present here... Kenny Loggins' Footloose!

Oh, and this is the source of those GARFIELD PHONE memes from the past. It is in fact demented genius that Ho decided to have Harrison engage in several important phone conversations while talking on a novelty telephone of an iconic comic strip character where its eyes would open when the handle is off the receiver. It's that, the music, the action, and the wackiness which helped elevate this for me.

 

Here's that aforementioned list of songs:

0:00, 1:03:52 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Base Machine Works (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:32, 33:46, 39:06, 48:20 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Showdown Daba · My Road (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:39, 32:41, 39:14 Moving Still - Chris and Cosey
2:06 Isao Tomita - Strong Electronic Light Waves
2:16 Isao Tomita - Round Spaceship Landing On the Earth
2:57 Isao Tomita - Venus Wearing The Space Uniform
3:09 Isao Tomita - Dororo
4:28 Pat Metheny Group - Extent of The Lie
4:34 Tangerine Dream – Thru Metaphoric Rocks
7:07, 7:35 Chumei Watanabe - Roaming (Jaspion OST)
7:12 Hiroya Watanabe - Tsuiseki Soshite Massatsu (Cosmo Police Justy OST)
7:21 Kei Wakakusa - Attack (Godmars OST)
10:36,12:19 Chumei Watanabe - Metal Tech · Suit (Jaspion OST)
11:38, 38:45 Talizman - I Must Go (Locke the Superman OST)
13:08 ?
14:45 Pink Floyd - Echoes
16:20 John Neschilling - Pixote Theme
17:39 Lalo Schifrin - Fast Moves (Battle Creek Brawl OST)
19:43 - 22:21 ? 24:44 Holger Czykay - On The Way to The Peak of Being Normal
26:09 Isao Tomita - The Planets: Mars, The Bringer of War
27:23 - 29:18,1:04:48 Steve Hillage - Sea Nature/ Steve Hillage - Ether Ships
30:06 Logic System - Venus
31:41 Mandingo - War Dance
34:21, 1:14:06 Logic System - I Love You
34:55 Jerry Goldsmith - The Hostage (Outland OST)
35:09,1:23:27 The Slipstream Group ‎– Forest Of Evil
40:05 , 1:11:15 Chumei Watanabe - The Enemy (Jaspion OST)
41:06, 51:50, 1:12:03 Chumei Watanabe - Change for Daileon (Jaspion OST)
44:19 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
45:39 Jerry Fielding - The Delivery (The Gauntlet OST)
45:57 Logic System - Metamorphism
47:38 Wendy Carlos - Clockwork Orange theme
49:41 Ennio Morricone - Violent City
50:07, 1:05:10 Talizman - Recollection (Locke the Superman OST)
50:47 Fifty Guitars - Sevilla Nights (Cover of Santa Esmerelda's Sevilla Nights)
51:16 Jean Michel Jarre - Zoolookologie
52:14, 53:58 The Love Unlimited Orchestra - The Rip (Together Brothers OST)
54:19 Chumei Watanabe - Galaxy Bible (Jaspion OST)
54:49 Jerry Goldsmith - The Rec Room (Outland OST)
59:01, 59:21 Chumei Watanabe - Desperate War (Jaspion OST)
1:00:33 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
1:07:19 Film Sounds Orchestra - Violent City (Cover of Ennio Morricone's Violent City)
1:08:53 James Horner - Battle In The Mutara Nebula (Star Trek II OST)
1:09:36 Mandingo - Invocation to the Gods
1:13:00, 1:20:32, 1:22:31 Steve Hillage - Crystal City
1:13:58, 1:14:37, 1:15:14, 1:21:08 Tim Blake - Synthese Intemporelle
1:15:25 Keith Emerson - Main Title (Nighthawks OST)
1:23:27 Slipstream Group - Forest of Evil (De Wolfe Music Library)
1:24:43 Steve Hillage - Glorious Om Riff
1:25:30 Jean Michel Jarre - Ethnicolor
1:26:05 Logic System - Prophet
1:26:19 Logic System - Metamorphism

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1936)

Runtime: 68 minutes

Directed by: George King

Starring: Tod Slaughter, Stella Rho, John Singer, Eve Lister, Bruce Seton

From: George King Productions

I finally experienced a piece of media concerning Sweeney Todd. Via cultural osmosis (including the Stephen Sondheim/Hugh Wheeler musical that Tim Burton adapted for the screen) I know that Todd was a fictional character from the Penny Dreadful genre efforts that was printed cheaply for the working class in 19th century UK residents. I knew he was a killer and there were meat pies-this macabre detail understandably was excluded from this film-but research told me that this adaptation does have the supporting characters Ms. Lovett (i.e. Lovatt here), love interest Johanna Oakley, & orphan boy apprentice Tobias Ragg, along with his magic chair.

Also a treat was seeing British stage Tod Slaughter as the titular character. In 2024 I saw him in the UK melodrama The Face at the Window; it was great learning about a hammy melodrama actor not afraid to literally be a cackling villain gleefully over the top. He was the same here in a film that had less horror elements than expected but was still a fine 68 minutes. 

The presence of a framing story was the biggest shock. A gonzo barber in 1936 excitedly tells his customer the story of Sweeney Todd, a barber who kills for money and Ragg is his 8th apprentice in 8 weeks.
He is next door to a Ms. Lovatt; meanwhile, a Mark is romancing Johanna but her father is a rich A-hole who hates that Mark is poor so he's off on a mercantile ship. He acquires wealth in Africa (long story involving natives; that wasn't as offensive as I had first feared) and returns to London.

Sweeney Todd's a fine production, from the sets to the acting, the score and everything else. However, it was Slaughter as the titular character that was the highlight. Todd literally cackles at points; not every villain needs to be OOT but in melodramas like this, someone devouring the scenery is delightful. While I'm pretty sure there are better adaptations of the source material and there isn't much in the way of horror scares, the 1936 film was still fun in a histrionic way.

Hope

Hope (2026)

Somehow, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 157 reviews) 

Runtime: Somehow, 157 minutes!

Directed by: Na Hong-jin

Starring: Various Korean actors I somehow didn't recognize, plus somehow both Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander

From: Neon released this in the United States

Why can’t there be a site like Does the Dog Die, except that it concerns foul language in movies, and how much of it (including F bombs) is in a particular film? Despite having almost 6,000 (!) followers on Letterboxd, I neither have the time nor resources to start such a project myself. It would have made me not both w/ the new Resident Evil nor this new Korean film from Na Hong-jin, despite being a big fan of his The Chaser and The Wailing, and my puzzlement that this has involvement from several Western actors, most notably the husband-and-wife duo of Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander. I hope they were financially compensated quite well.

I had no idea that Resident Evil and this would share various similarities. Both have idiotic leads; in this case, it’s the police Chief of a small town who is such a dumbass, he doesn’t have a clue how many fellow officers he has in his department! Hope has multiple intolerable characters, all of whom start cursing and they all increase their swearing until it’s nonstop in the final act. I couldn’t care less about any of these jackasses, nor the rancid “humor” in the film that’s also unnecessary. No kidding, a random old dude shows up to deliver an important speech that felt like it was 10 minutes long… revolving around witnessing something while he’s taking a massive diarrhea dump in the woods!

Not even that was the worst aspect of Hope. Even worse than the brutal length of 2 ½ hours, the cursing, the illogic, the stupidity, the failed unnecessary comedy, & even the incredibly awful final 10 minutes that was just mind-boggling in how baffling & laughable it was; no, the worst aspect was how ATROCIOUS the effects were.

It’s CG that would have looked bad a quarter-century ago! What felt like the opening half hour had the big killing machine not shown on camera-just its destruction. I was already not liking the film at that point and there was irritation that they were prolonging the first reveal.
Finally, this indestructible force appeared, and… the initial reaction was laughter as it was just laughable, the appearance was so goofy. Boy, did I regret my desire to see the monster!

Then I saw it in motion, and Holy Crap was that the realization of how bad the CG was, especially in motion. By the conclusion, I was reminded of An American Werewolf in Paris-there is a film you always want to be reminded of! What I’m referring to is how often the CG is shown despite its wretched appearance. They aren’t afraid to display these creatures-indestructible beyond belief-as if they thought their janky, goofy appearance was somehow acceptable in a movie that was released worldwide, including plenty of screens in America. This was on IMAX screens, for crying out loud! I shudder how the CG looked on one of those screens.

Hope had plot armor for some of our heroes that was almost as strong as for the indestructible villains. I could possibly go on for far longer concerning what this movie got wrong-pacing, logic, world-building, how award-winning and nominated actors Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander looked as their characters, etc.-but this was another case of the wrong movie on the wrong night for me. Not everything was wretched—the score wasn’t bad, the cinematography had nice moments and the production did a swell job constructing the fake village.

However, the totality of this bloated picture was so aggravating, so disappointing, such a waste of time-where even the action scenes are way too long-I felt forced to go Scorched Earth and give my lowest-possible rating. I'm glad that many enjoyed this far more than I. Hopefully it'll be a long while before a controversial review will have to be written. My next review should be of an older film that likely won't result in a bitter aftertaste.

 

I Saw the New Resident Evil... Unfortunately

 

Perhaps I should finally give up on Modern Horror in general… for certain, I will give up on Zach Cregger for good.

After not viewing any films Sunday night, a double-header was held at a cinema last night; Wednesday night will be the review for the other picture-one I hated even more than this! For the newer followers: most modern horror does nothing for me. This includes Obsession and Backrooms, which I both strongly disliked on a fundamental level. Also, I’ve grown more and more tired of foul language, and how it’s incessant in most R-rated movies for at least the past few years. Now, I skipped Weapons but the first two acts of Barbarian were entertaining… until the final act started poorly & it fell apart until an awful final 10 minutes.

I still have never played any Resident Evil game, so that has no bearing on my opinion. The rave reviews for this fooled me; Lord, I’ve been fooled WAY too often when it comes to “popular modern horror” that’s beloved by most on Letterboxd. No offense to anyone, but that is on me as I should learn my lesson and just avoid these stupid Gen-Z films (horror or otherwise) starring an insufferable, idiotic, incompetent protagonist--Johnny Dumb**** in this case, or whatever his name was. Johnny is a courier who has to deliver something to a hospital in Raccoon City.

Johnny constantly screws up and can’t perform simple tasks correctly. He can’t even speak correctly, given his constant cursing, especially the torrent of F-bombs that never cease, which is just like the stupid inane comments this emasculated dork says to himself that never cease. Am I supposed to LIKE this loser? As the viewer follows only him throughout, that was a huge problem for me. So was not liking anyone else we see.

And also, another huge issue was that this almost constantly has “comedy”… not only was it unnecessary, most of it made me groan rather than laugh. It was all just so stupid and not enjoyable; I’ve long since grown tired of unnecessary “humor” in modern cinema. Let’s not even get started on some of the all-time terrible bits of dialogue or blatant ripoffs/homages of moments from actual great horror of the 80’s. Yes, there were OOT gross gory moments but I need more than that. The film is not lit poorly, the snowy landscape is cool and the synth score from Hays & Ryan Holladay was delightful. Otherwise, this is yet another piece of modern horror that failed on a vital level, at least according to my tastes.

It stinks that for years, most Modern Horror is anathemic to my brain, requiring more effort to track down films I enjoy-which I tend to enjoy more than the majority of Letterboxd users. As hated at this comment will be, the goofy 2002 Resident Evil movie was a better time; at least the characters weren’t imbecilic idiots, incompetent jackasses that never shut up.

If you think I went Scorched Earth on Resident Evil 2026, wait until you read the review I’ll post about 24 hours from now!

The Transporter

The Transporter (2002)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Corey Yuen… and Louis Leterrier

Starring: Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Francois Bereland, Matt Schulze, Ric Young

From: Several European companies, including Eurocorp

 I had a STATHAM SATURDAY by revisiting The Transporter, not viewed in many years. The sequels have never been viewed full-stop (including The Transporter Refueled; who even remembers that was a thing?) yet 2026 seemed like a good time to discuss this nonsense here. Yes, the movie is flashy, absurd, bold… like either the Hong Kong pictures of old or Indian films of recent times.

Now, I can appreciate such things more than at the time. Statham is Frank Martin, former Special Forces dudes who transports people or items in a sweet 1999 BMW 7-series. He has a list of rules… first is “never change the terms of the deal.” Trouble begins once he discovers the contents of a duffel bag is a young lady, Shu Qi. Yes, he does start breaking his rules; the plot isn’t complex but it did not need to be one.

Monsieur Frank was an entertaining badass, wrecking dudes in a fun fashion. I recently mentioned that it’d be nice for Statham to be in more films that were comedic, or at least were light in time… The Transporter is the latter. Now, Americans can only experience comedic Statham… by seeing him in Discover credit card commercials! Shu Qi was fun in her role, as was Francois Bereland as the police Inspector Frank is pals with. It was also nice seeing reliable faces like Ric Young & Matt Schulze. 

These days, I have more respect for the early 21st century action as presented here-perhaps it was a bit TOO flashy at times but it feels fresh in ’26 between the editing, funky score from Stanley Clarke, and the slippery final act. The action beats still satisfy. This was fun poppycock set & filmed in the south of France. Luc Besson as a person evidently has a terrible flaw or two; him in cinema has created distinctive films, whether as a director, writer, or producer—he has the latter two roles here.

Perhaps one day in the far-future the sequels will finally be given a shot by me. On its own, The Transporter is a fun slice of Euro-action, barely over an hour and a half.