Watership Down

Watership Down (1978)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Martin Rosen... and John Hubley

Starring: The voice talents of John Hurt, Richard Briers, Ralph Richardson, and such famous voices like Denholm Elliott & Roy Kinnear

From: A few different animation studios 

A movie finally watched because… someone on a messageboard recently posted a link to a YouTube video mentioning films and TV shows that traumatized people like me who are now middle-aged-“kinder-trauma,” if you will? Yes, it’s true. For decades I’ve known of Watership Down as an animated movie arguably better for adults than children. The merits of that argument won’t be debated here; rather, I’ll note that this is quite mature in its plot & themes.

After an opening explaining lore concerning how a Creator made different animals & why rabbits are targeted by different animals, it isn’t long before a rabbit clairvoyant (a phrase I’ll never utter again) realizes that the warren he & his colony-to use the official term for a group of rabbits-live in will be demolished by man, necessitating a long trek to a new home.

I can say that this is a tale where rabbits are in peril on a number of occasions, blood is shed, adult themes are presented, there are “scary moments” and a key plot point is that this colony of rabbits is a “sausage factory” and they need females to propagate the species! Parents can decide for themselves what their children should experience at what age. What I know for certain: as an adult I can appreciate the lush animation, the charming score, the pleasant song sung by Art Garfunkel, those mature ideas, and the solid lore that’s an ever-present theme throughout.

Overall, I was happy to have finally witnessed this British animated picture w/ plenty of notoriety, featuring the voice talents of many famous UK actors of stage and/or screen, along with Zero Mostel voicing a comic relief gull who delivers exposition. I can think of at least one other similar animated character but the chuckles did help brighten a rather bleak film a bit.

 

Pardon Us

Pardon Us (1931)

Runtime: 70 minutes

Directed by: James Parrott

Starring: Laurel & Hardy, some of the usual co-stars, Walter Long, June Marlowe

From: MGM

It was rather unfortunate I chose to review a movie on Juneteenth* that contained a(n unknown to me beforehand) BLACKFACE subplot.

This film was selected as the 70-minute length fit my schedule the best, and with all the Laurel & Hardy I’ve reviewed here-silent and sound, shorts and features-might as well discuss what wasn’t planned to be their first feature-length picture but that’s how it turned out. The gimmick is that the duo are sent to prison; you see, this was still the era of Prohibition so when they purchased the ingredients at a store to make their own beer and they sold some to an undercover cop… that’s why they were convicted then sent behind bars.

They meet a tough named Tiger (portrayed by Walter Long, who besides appearing in The Three Stooges short Three Little Pigskins alongside Lucille Ball was ironically was in The Birth of a Nation) and caused havoc, including engaging in great wordplay while in a class taught at a prison. The blackface segment-more than 10 minutes long-was after a prison escape and they were on the run. This was a disguise as they were… on a cotton plantation as Black characters constantly sang songs! You can see how this will be uncomfortable-at best it was awkward for a dumb white guy like me. That still had laughs that weren’t related to race-L&H were the ones that were lampooned in this segment.

The blackface moments didn’t ruin the experience, although no shame if that’s a deal-breaker for you & you don’t want to bother. Other feature films like Sons of the Desert and Way Out West are better, more entertaining. That said, this is still a fun time. Stan has a loose tooth which causes inadvertent raspberries-that causes the expected problems. Unexpected was the appearance of a Tommy Gun as if it was The Public Enemy and an attempted shanking!

Contributions from other familiar faces in the L&H universe (James Finlayson, Tiny Sandford, director James Parrott) plus a memorable climax equaled a film I was happy to have seen starring the legendary duo.

* As people from around the world will read this review and Juneteenth has only been a holiday in the United States for several years, brief explanation is warranted: it marks the end of slavery in the United States in 1865.

 

The Ghost of Yotsuya

The Ghost of Yotsuya (Tokaido Yotsuya Kaiden) (1959)

Runtime: 77 minutes

Directed by: Nobuo Nakagawa

Starring: Shigeru Amachi, Norkio Kitazawa, Katsuko Wakasugi, Shuntaro Emi, Ryuzaburo Nakamura

From: Shintoho

This is the 1959 movie The Ghost of Yotsuya from Shintoho based on an old kabuki play, not the 1959 Daiei movie of the same name based on the same play. You can see how this is confusing-even on the Eternal Family platform, they have the Daiei film but their page for the film credits the director of the Shintoto picture. I viewed this on the Criterion Channel-the other movie wasn’t selected as this has been seen far more and the ratings are a bit higher.

A ronin named Iemon (not Lemon like the citrus fruit!) murders the father of his wife Iwa so they can get married. A pal is unwittingly roped into the scheme; this results in more murders. The marriage isn’t a happy one despite the presence of a young child-Iwa passes away. She’s the titular ghost, looking for revenge. It does take awhile for the death then appearance of the apparition—however, this allows for the story and characters to be built up and it was all a delight, despite Iemon’s abhorrent behavior.

Given that director Nobuo Nakagawa went on to direct Jigoku the following year, the more gruesome than expected moments + the strong visual moments shouldn’t have caught me off-guard. As Iemon is quite the SOB who causes much havoc with his selfish decisions, the revenge was incredibly sweet-& the movie is less than 80 minutes in length. As there’s also some nice scenic outdoor scenes, this version of Yotsuya was a delight. It likely won’t be until far in the future but eventually I should view the Daiei film to compare & contrast.

 

Two Billion Hearts

This is a 1995 FIFA documentary concerning the 1994 World Cup: 

Who knew that since 1954, FIFA has produced a film of each World Cup? I was ignorant of this until a random Tweet noted this recently, while noting that at least in the United States, all of those movies were on FIFA+, which is on the DAZN platform along with the other sports this platform has. While June hasn’t been great overall, something nice is to have the World Cup games on in the background while I sometimes do other things or listen to other audio.

I usually don’t watch soccer (as us Dumb Americans call it) although I’ve gone to some games live in Orlando. I’ll give my thoughts on this current tournament at the end of the review. For a service that was free, I was quite happy that only one ad played before the film began, and never again.

It made sense to see the film of the 1994 tournament, a.k.a. the first time this extravaganza came to the United States. The presentation was largely what you’d expect: after an opening where Americans were ignorant of soccer-accurate; it was only a few years after this that Major League Soccer began & the sport was more niche here back then-various contenders were featured in a logical order which wasn’t always chronological but was never confusing. Backstories were provided for each team that added context. Aside from the audio dropping out for a few seconds and-mainly when changing reels-the footage looked ROUGH, otherwise the print quality was pretty good.

Sure, this wasn’t perfect. A tragic moment was after the tournament when Colombia’s Andres Escobar was murdered in his country, probably due to allowing an own goal against the United States—that was only briefly mentioned at the conclusion. I suppose fanaticism leading to a murder of a star player probably would be a downer for this sort of documentary… in addition, there’s plenty of dialogue in languages other than English which is never subtitled. Needless to say, I don’t speak any other languages (especially Swedish or Bulgarian) so there’s a decision that can be disagreed with.

Otherwise, a swell job was done in presenting the tournament to those unaware—from the stellar footage shots of the games to the fans both at home and watching in their home countries. The narration is from a familiar voice: Liev Schreiber. I don’t plan on checking out those other FIFA films even if others were narrated by two Bond actors (Brosnan, Connery) among other actors and one was directed by Michael Apted.

A nice story of the ’26 World Cup is how people from around the world have visited America and especially in the United States, have enjoyed the food, customs, people, and everything else. Look at that random German Twitter user Freddy-he and his mates went viral and now are treated like dignitaries to the point that they talked to NASA astronauts on the ISS and will soon meet Ella Langley! The decision to expand the field from 32 to 48 teams is one I don’t agree with… then again, the Spain vs. Cape Verde match is a great story & a casual like me has found the early stages of the tournament to be fun.

I don’t know how many reading this were even alive in ’94-let alone have interest in this era of soccer-but if you want to see footage of Romario and Roberto Baggio…

The Furious

The Furious (Huo Zhe Yan) (2025)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Kenji Tanigaki

Starring: Miao Xae, Joe Taslam, Enyou Yang, Brian Le, Yayan Ruhian

From: In the United States, Lionsgate

Or: In this nightmare of a June 2026 for me-where even the browser that I use (Firefox) is now broken after today’s update-how an unnecessary 4th act can ruin a movie, especially one I’d been looking forward to.

In the 13 (!) years I’ve been here and the 4,001 films I’ve now reviewed (!!), this is only the third time I can recall marking a review as containing spoilers. However, I feel this is necessary to explain why Furious was a letdown for me. Recently, I heard great buzz elsewhere & even comparisons to The Raid. I love The Raid-the sequel, much less so. That had a bad story and absurd action that was just Too Much. Sadly, those are also my complaints with The Furious. I’ll explain in a review later this month why June has been so miserable, but even at the cineplex my luck has been rotten.

It's set in “a city in Southeast Asia”; why they couldn’t name Bangkok is beyond my comprehension. In any event, a mute Chinese badass has his young daughter kidnapped by child traffickers. Meanwhile, another badass has a missing wife-she was investigating said traffickers. They team up. Now, the action beats reminded me of modern pro wrestling—overly choreographed and becoming overkill. Unlike modern pro wrestling (which is just absolutely unwatchable, for the most part), most of the action here was quite delightful to view. Dudes Getting Wrecked (TM) was a lot of fun here.

Regrettably, the idea of a 4th at that has been prevalent in 21st century Hollywood and has hampered many a film reared its ugly head here. How our mute hero is so unstoppable he might as well join the Avengers or Justice League isn’t my preference yet I see the same thing in Indian movies and that’s not a deal-breaker. Unfortunately, there are others that are also unstoppable; there’s a villain that out of nowhere in the 4th act that suddenly slaughters all his bosses and is superhuman out of nowhere.

Things go down the toilet once the 3rd act ends w/ the climatic rescue of the children from the traffickers. Besides that villain suddenly becoming superhuman, we see the return of Hulking Brute superhuman. There’s a big brawl early in the 2nd act where we see Hulking Brute hold his own 1 on 2 against our humans, until his face is literally beaten into a bloody pulp; yes, that image of his face is fuzzy in the background yet is still obvious, especially on a cinema screen. Yet, the 4th act begins with Hulking Brute resurrecting… and his face is fine! That’s right, no damage aside from a scar or two!

I should have walked out of the movie at that point, no lie. From that point, everything in the 4th act was just stupid and overblown, full of poor ideas. Sure, some plot strands would have been left unresolved but the three acts that cinephiles would probably decry as “basic” would have been hunky-dory with me, several dumb moments aside. Instead, a sour taste was left in my mouth with those dumb superhuman villains; I know that no one else will agree but that’s my honest opinion. “Plot armor” is another giant 21st century movie problem that I wish would be banished.

It was nice seeing a reunion of Joe Taslim and Yayan Ruhian from The Raid, at least; however, IMO this film is not legendary like that was, a joyous theatrical experience. Shame about that 4th act… it’d be nice if June would stop being a nightmare for me, but hopefully the next film I review will be one where I am not so negative.

Guess What, I Loathed Backrooms As Well!

 This is Exhibit B in “Why most horror movies that cinephiles love made this century are massively overrated in my eyes.” If people didn't hate me after I said that Obsession was bad or my going Scorched Earth on the new Masters of the Universe, they sure will upon knowing I went Scorched Earth on this piss-yellow movie. Strap in, this'll be another long review.

In my dissertation of Obsession, I mentioned how that most horror cinephiles loved in the past 15 or so years have done nothing for me. Many examples were listed; two more that I recalled only days afterwards were a pair of horrendous remakes: Suspiria and The Evil Dead. Now, I did view the first Kane Parsons The Backrooms video from 2022... for the first time yesterday, a few hours before leaving to see this film! How that dude literally fell into that liminal space was stupid yet the vibes overall were creepy. I know there were many other videos after that; whether viewing those would have changed my opinion of this-probably not.

There's a cold open which wasn't bad; after that, I hated every decision that was made. Like with Obsession, the movie just failed on a fundamental level. I wasn't thrilled by the alcoholic loser dick that was our lead, or his (unintended?) off-putting conversations w/ his therapist. I know people will be APPALLED by this admission too, but this is my first Renate Reinsve movie—the presumption is that the weirdly bad performance she gave here isn't indicative of her talents and instead is the fault of the material/director, or perhaps even a language issue. It was a strange character w/ a half-assed “troubled past” backstory + both leads were given some rotten dialogue; many actors probably would have struggled. One day I'll check out a Joachim Trier picture where presumably I'll like her performance much more.

Let's see, I hated:

* How this only superficially felt like it was set in 1990.

* How they tried to give a backstory to this liminal space when the unknown concerning that was a big part of its appeal. Not one iota of that backstory worked and only reminded me of another overrated horror film made within the past 10 years which at least was better than Backrooms. Get this, it's all trauma and grief! What a new and exciting idea in modern horror...

* How I didn't give a damn about the lead as portrayed by Chiwetel Ejiofor. You can guess how I felt about his two young employees who constantly dropped F-bombs.

* How I didn't like Reinsve's character, but I probably made that plain already. It was impossible to give a damn about her inept therapist, that's for sure.

* How I was never scared! There's only a moment or two I found to be a tad bit creepy; that's it. The rest is random absurd crap that was supposed to be unnerving, soil your pants terrifying, nightmarish... boy, was it not. The vibes in the first short weren't even present.

* How the movie had no rhythm or pacing... at least good rhythm and pacing.

* How the movie treated its audience w/ utter contempt. There was a needless “look at the map” reminder as if the audience wouldn't remember that this map was established like a half hour earlier. Did they do that in case they were afraid that this boredom would be a cure for insomnia?

* How the movie turned into what I'll describe as “David Lynch if David Lynch had an IQ of 75... and was in the midst of a crack binge!” The worst sort of surreal, it was, along w/ pathetic and laughable.

* How some parents took their children (!) to this disaster! What made them think this was a good idea? Whether those parents were too cheap to hire a babysitter or the children watched those YouTube videos way too young, that is undetermined.

* How those same children started scrolling their phones! Normally this would be enraging. However, they were positioned where it wasn't too distracting.. .and I almost wish I could have joined them! Which reminds me:

* How boring the movie was overall.

* How Backrooms could have affected my mood for the other movie I saw at an AMC last night. That review is coming tomorrow and some won't like how that film ultimately disappointed me-was it because I was so ticked at how Backrooms wasted everyone's time?

* How Backrooms didn't even get a reaction from the crowd once everyone was put out of their misery and the end credits rolled. They couldn't have been stunned silent because they actually enjoyed and were moved by this poppycock! At least there was uproarious laughter after the ending of Undertone; I didn't agree with their derision yet at least it was a reaction I'll never forget. I was hoping for boos or yelling or couples arguing about its merits. Instead, there was nothing.

My giving a bottom-of-the-barrel rating is incredibly harsh, admittedly. The sound design had its moments and I can't fault the set & production design. Otherwise, the highlight for me was recognizing a song in the background as Reinsve went into a room and took presumably pills from a cabinet. It was Ulterior Motives! Much to my delight, the original 1985 song master tapes were found and is now on YouTube under “AOP 1985 Mix.” In short, a snippet of that tune was uploaded in 2021 by a guy who vanished as he did not want to admit it was from an EIGHTIES PORN known as Angels of Passion. The truth was only revealed about two years ago. Why it's in this movie, who knows... but RIP to one of the tune's creators-Philip Adrian Booth-who just passed away days ago. It was great that this catchy tune was found, that a copy of the song without “noises” is now available, and that about six months after this was ID'ed, so was The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet—which is another nice 80's ditty.

Apologies for the diversion, but that was far more enjoyable to elaborate upon than why this inexplicably popular (especially at the box office) motion picture absolutely failed for me. Heck, I would have enjoyed watching Angels of Passion for its plot and characters!

Maybe it is time to have an existential crisis. Why has June been so crummy in general? Why has the only theatrical new release in 2026 that I've raved over been Baz Luhrmann presenting great Elvis concert footage and drawing an awesome mixed crowd of people... or why the only theatrical movie seen in the past month or so that hasn't been a let down was the new Star Wars-and that's only because it met my expectations of being mediocre.

Honest, I gave both this and Obsession a chance to wow me like it did everyone else; are my tastes so bizarre now that so many modern pictures don't work on me at all? This must be the case, as awful as this is to admit. I guess I should choose better in regards to what I watch & review; this might mean “don't watch modern cinema for awhile.” “Avoiding anything released by A24” is probably a swell idea too, along w/ “please avoid movies from YouTubers.”

BMX Bandits

BMX Bandits (1983)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Brian Trenchard-Smith

Starring: James Lugton, Angelo D'Angelo (yes, that's his name), Nicole Kidman (!), David Argue, John Ley

From: Nilsen Premiere

Yes, I wanted to see another movie w/ Nicole Kidman. Even now, only a few of her pictures have been peeped by me; this is not due to any sexist reasons. Rather, that is an oversight on my part. As this is part of my collection (nevermind the details how!), last night seemed the best time to check out something Ozploitation.

After an opening where a well-organized heist is done at a bank-involving a van being driven through the front window of the bank-two of the henchmen involved with the heist are total buffoons. They are tasked with retrieving special walkie-talkies crucial to an upcoming huge score. Much to their dismay, a pair of young teenage boys named Goose and P.J. found it first, and sold those devices to fund bike repairs. They have a Meet Cute w/ Kidman’s character Judy at the supermarket. Soon, the clown henchmen are after our lovable trio.

The movie’s on the juvenile side and the heroes are greatly aided by how dumb their foes usually are. No kidding, one of the heels goes “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” as if he’s Curly Howard. At the same time, sometimes the film does have an edge even after its opening. A long segment is spent on the run at night in a cemetery. More than twice as long is a rather extensive chase where they on bikes are usually dodging a 70’s Ford Galaxie-a large sedan-and cause wanton destruction in a number of locations, including unexpected ones like a waterpark. 

Brian Trenchard-Smith’s movies are quite the mixed bag once he left Australia. However, in his home country the one’s I’ve checked out have all been at least solid. If I-a child of the 80’s & 90’s-had experienced BMX Bandits my rating now would be higher as viewing young teenagers outwit stupid adults via silly methods would have tickled me pink. That said, even as a jaded adult I can appreciate the action beats, some funny dialogue that did make me laugh, the 80’s soundtrack (the random Aussie pop of the period they used, on the other hand…) and how charming the seaside town of Manly, New South Wales appeared. The cinematography was from future Oscar winner John Seale, who later did everything from Dead Poet’s Society and Fury Road to The Hitcher and The English Patient.

For those curious, the lead triple weren’t a THROUPLE, as the kids would say. All were just pals-only one scene had Goose express an attraction towards Judy, which wasn’t reciprocated. Thus, she wasn’t able to say that heartbreak felt good in a place like Manly, New South Wales…

Days of Thunder

Days of Thunder (1990)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Tony Scott

Starring: Tom Cruise, Robert Duvall, Nicole Kidman, Michael Rooker, Randy Quaid

From: Paramount

Half paying attention to the World Cup match last night between the United States and Paraguay-where Paraguay got its ass kicked!-was the main inspiration for me to see a Tom Cruise film; he was there at the match in the Los Angeles suburbs, sitting next to David Beckham and his wife. No comment on Beckham or his wife!

My reason for selecting Day of Thunder: recently, elsewhere there was discussion over the blatant homage to Top Gun in The Mandalorian & Grogu. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after Tony Scott passed away that I better appreciated his talents. That's even on a troubled production like this, where Don Simpson & Jerry Bruckheimer were out of control, spending millions of dollars frivolously & partying all the time like they were Eddie Murphy.

The plot itself: standard sports story where Cruise (named COLE TRICKLE as there was once a driver in the sport named DICK TRICKLE, no lie) is a hotshot racer in another level of auto racing who wishes to join NASCAR. There are rivals, a crew chief who is the source of occasional friction, a team owner responsible for more friction, a love interest, crashes, some laughs, an amusing freeze-frame ending... what is an asset is that according to Wiki, several incidents in the film actually occurred w/ real-life NASCAR drivers, as many characters were based on figures in the sport. Thankfully, Trickle wasn't an unstoppable hero; rather, he had many flaws.

Additional assets included appearances from those involved w/ the sport (including driver turned announcer Ned Jarrett, who just passed on the 4th of this month), races filmed well, entertaining characters, a great cast full of familiar faces, and the thankful decision to have Nicole Kidman be more than just a love interest by her delivering a fiery promo over how dumb Cruise was as a macho man who believed he could control fate, especially in an auto race with “other infantile egomaniacs.” In addition, there's a nice score from a young Hans Zimmer, collaborating w/ the forever-underrated Jeff Beck.

Days of Thunder is silly yet especially now, I appreciate a big motion picture that doesn't wink at the camera and takes the subject matter seriously. While I don't watch NASCAR, some races were viewed when I was a kid in the 80's and 90's. As the movie accurately portrayed, it was still a Southern phenomenon, thus hotshot Cruise from California would ruffle feathers, and I'm sure there were teams that drank moonshine while on the road. That is a memorable milieu I'm sure is a bygone era long-gone from NASCAR. There is but one reason why there was no regrets in discussing the film here.

The Last Voyage

The Last Voyage (1960)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Andrew L. Stone

Starring: Robert Stack, Dorothy Malone, George Sanders, Edmond O'Brien, Woody Strode

From: MGM 

For those that love obscure old aquatic disaster movies… late Wednesday night, I DVR’ed this film from a Turner Classic Movies screening; that night they played a few films in that category, most prominently The Poseidon Adventure. I have viewed & reviewed that but not The Last Voyage. The cast is what intrigued: Robert Stack, Dorothy Malone (yes, a reunion of a pair who were in a pair of Sirk films; they didn’t just do Written in the Wind. There’s also The Tarnished Angels), George Sanders, Edmond O’Brien, and Woody Strode.

The action began immediately after the MGM logo. A fire in the boiler room would soon lead to a massive explosion. Captain Sanders was way too reluctant to admit this was an issue and they should evacuate. Much of the drama was Malone being trapped by debris due to the explosion. They have a young daughter best described as “cherubic” who cries often. I was reminded why disaster films tended to have more characters-even at only 91 minutes there is still a time or two where the momentum seemed stalled.

There’s a continuity issue or two and I was always amused when the occasional random monotone narration from disembodied voice would appear. Otherwise, The Last Voyage was a pretty good time. The performances are all satisfactory + there are plenty of suspenseful scenes/setpieces during the runtime, some of which were appropriately sweaty. The key asset of the production was the usage of the French luxury liner SS Ile de France, a ship about to be scrapped. The filmmakers were able to wreck that ship, adding plenty of authenticity to the proceedings.

A nice detail is that Strode-always shirtless due to the part but I’m sure he didn’t complain as he was in tremendous shape-had a heroic role larger than you’d first suspect. In this era, that was nice to see a Black person play such a character.

For those that like at least some of the disaster flicks from the heyday of the 70’s & wish for more, The Last Voyage might be a trip worth embarking on.

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: William Asher

Starring: Jimmy McNichol, Susan Tyrrell, Bo Svenson, Julia Dufy, Marcia Lewis

From: Royal American Pictures

What a movie to watch during Pride Month!

I’ve known of this movie for years, that there are incestuous overtones, that this was one of Bill Paxton’s first roles-back then, he was known as William Paxton-that there was a twist. Well, I was unaware that homosexuality was a plot point, that negative stereotypes are mentioned and that Bo Svenson’s police detective is incredibly homophobic, uttering a certain slur often.

Poor Jimmy McNichol-no, not because he had the same hairstyle as his sister Kristy had at the time, to steal a line. Rather, he’s a 17-year-old who lost his parents as a toddler due to a car wreck. I’ve never seen Final Destination 2 but know its most famous death due to cultural osmosis-well, it was that kind of car wreck-that opening was shot by Jan de Bont, of all people. Jimmy’s aunt Cheryl is insane, and not just because she has “feelings” for her own nephew. She is mentally ill. Mix that with the vile character Sevenson portrayed and the movie is not the most comfortable watch.

Be that as it may, the movie is still perversely entertaining, especially if you enjoy watching trashy pictures. It is critical to note: the movie is NOT homophobic; in fact, the movie demonizes homophobia, portrays homosexual characters rather positively-especially for the era + presenting bad behavior from the cops-I know many will appreciate the film for those details alone. What I’ll remember most about this motion picture is the unsettling vibes throughout, some gory deaths, and especially the performance from Tyrrell.

Susan Tyrrell was tasked with delivering a BIG, BOLD performance, and this she did superbly. This went a key component of making Butcher a dark delight. The rest of the cast was fine (including Julia Duffy as Jimmy’s girlfriend & “That Guy” actor Britt Leach) and the direction from veteran William Asher was decent-much of his work was in television, including I Love Lucy and Bewitched! 

Whether you call it Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker or Night Watcher-an even more nonsensical title-this stands out as something different in the slasher era and for certain tastes, the picture will be a masterwork.

The Bowery

In the first of two posts I'll make tonight, here's an interesting Pre-Code picture I recently peeped: 

The Bowery (1933)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Raoul Walsh

Starring: Wallace Beery, George Raft, Fay Wray, Jackie Cooper, Pert Kelton

From: 20th Century Pictures 

I’ll apologize for not “being myself” a few times in June already; in fact, as the kids would say, I “crashed out” at least once! It’s best for me to forget about outside factors that have resulted in a lousy June so far. As I’m still hoping for a nice variety this month, the way I’ll return to normal is by viewing something old & obscure but the Pre-Code fans will at least find this interesting. A mutual’s rave review in the past put this on my radar; finally, I gave this a shot-I made the right decision w/ this Raoul Walsh effort.

This effort from 20th Century Pictures (as it was known then before they merged with Fox) couldn’t have been made once the Hays Code was a thing; I heard that a place name in 1890’s New York featured the N-word… that is correct. Well, that word is also said aloud, along with other racial slurs that won’t be repeated. That is only one of many wild moments-this was quite entertaining, even if Wallace Beery-in a totally Wallace Beery role-hits an annoying woman from behind w/ a slapjack, knocking him out! BTW, Beery is named CHUCK CONNORS.

Beery owns a saloon; George Raft-as STEVE BRODIE-is a rival. A unique conceit is that both lead volunteer fire brigades, although they move on from that plot point as their feud escalates once Fay Wray enters the picture. Little Jackie Cooper is also around-his character was SWIPES MCGURK-as a scamp who has Beery as a father figure. This balances different genres rather well: comedy, drama, romance, action, and there’s even a few songs. The film is a lot of fun-salacious moments aside-even if the two stars did not get along during filming-allegedly because Raft started getting cast in roles that Beery would have had before. Spoiler, but the two characters fight each other and well, it apparently got out of hand.

The pace is fast, the cast full of familiar faces-there’s small parts for Charles Middleton, “That Guy” actor Irving Bacon, Paulette Goddard, Heinie Conklin (he of many movies & many Three Stooges shorts) and in an important historical note, The Bowery was Lucille Ball’s first role. Pert Kelton was a performer unknown to me yet she was utterly delightful in her few scenes.

The Bowery was a rather good tonic that brightened my mood; hopefully there will be no further hiccups in the month of June.

An Update

Here's what I posted yesterday on Letterboxd instead of a film review due to massive site issues which involved me posting the same review twice Don't worry, I'm back to normal now... well, as normal as I'll ever be: 

For those wondering why I posted two reviews of the same movie yesterday that were identical except for the second review including an opening blurb bemoaning how horrible the Letterboxd site is… that’s because the Letterboxd site is horrible, barely functional in general to the point it’s like everything is held together by chewed gum and chicken wire but was nonfunctional for a long period yesterday, while attempting to post a review. June still hasn’t been a great month so far and at the time this kerfuffle was occurring, the idea of taking a sabbatical from a site that's inexcusably bad for the amount of years this platform has existed was a strong one.

Today, I don’t feel that way; however, I still am miffed at how bad the site is, at least on desktop-the app has its own bugaboos. Don’t you just love it that for YEARS, when you attempt to follow someone, on almost every occasion you have to press the “follow” button like a DOZEN times before the action finally occurs?

If I continue to experience massive issues in simply attempting to post a review, then yes expect a sabbatical from me that’ll last who knows how long. For now, though, expect business as usual starting tomorrow. No way did I feel like checking out any films last night.

Brigade of Death

Brigade of Death (Brigade Des Moeurs) (1985)

Runtime: 96 minutes 

Directed by: Max Pecas

Starring: Thierry de Carbonnieres, Jean-Marc Maurel, Lillemour Jonsson, Bernard Rosselli, Gabrielle Forest

From: A collection of different French companies 

The sleaziest movie I’ve ever seen! This infamous French effort has been known by me for ages; it likely was first discovered via a mention on the Rupert Pupkin Speaks blog, it was that long ago. A streaming copy w/ English subtitles wasn’t available, legal or otherwise. In the midst of discovering another way of finding movies in the wilderness that is the Bowels of the Internet (long story) the inspiration was had to finally find a copy and add English subtitles-again, long story.

Brigade sets the tone immediately w/ its opening. Trans prostitutes are shown speaking to potential customers one night. A group of rowdies say the expected offensive comments to them, before a quartet of men in black leather & helmets on a pair of motorcycles guns them down, enormous squibs on their bodies producing plenty of carnage. 

The police are caught in the middle as a gang of rogues are targeting the empire of a drug czar known as The Greek. The storytelling comes across as fuzzy at times but that’s the gist. Gerard is a Vice Squad cop who is a loose cannon & this increases to an amazing degree after his sister is killed then other women he knows are targeted.

Let’s see, this has:
* Gruesome deaths. The finale includes a few that are wild.
* Homophobia. Besides the trans moments, the lead bad guy is a homosexual. You can guess which slur is bandied about more than a few times.
* Innocent people are killed
* Sex/nudity is ever-constant. This includes a threesome of naked people at a club and a literal orgy at a fancy soiree.
* The most noteworthy detail that will make people upset; the vibes of misogyny. Bad things happen to most of the women you see on screen: sexual assault, men beat them up, dudes make offensive comments towards them, and of course, some of them die.

The content of the movie is shocking by 2026 standards. However, those that enjoy trashy movies and are like me and are OK with seeing ultra-sleaze at least once in a blue moon… I never want a steady diet of such pictures but I wasn’t let down after not only viewing a few bad movies in a row, but in addition waiting for years to experience this insanity that made many Italian poliziotteschi flicks look restrained in comparison. Mondo Macabro released Brigade of Death on Blu so thankfully there is an option to legally see the movie-

BTW, the English dub is purportedly putrid so I’m relieved that wasn’t the version I tracked down.

Alone in the Dark

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Uwe Boll

Starring: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Frank C. Turner, Will Sanderson

From: Several different companies in the United States, Canada, & Germany

It was not the intention to watch another poorly-rated movie; starting tomorrow, I’ll return to a more cheerful disposition & see cinema I actually like. However, a mutual recently mentioned that I should watch “bad movies” more often. Well, I haven’t done this as often in recent years but in the past I once in awhile would watch such tripe as bad old B-movies, more than one effort from the notorious Uwe Boll and even in this decade, I’ve partaken in Madame Web, Cats, and the Ice Cube War of the Worlds-all are indeed rancid.

Unlike my last two reviews, I don’t foresee anyone becoming extraordinarily angry or befuddled why I found Alone in the Dark to be a disaster. Not only do most find the movie terrible, I actually did watch this before, like 20 years ago! So little was retained from the initial viewing, this might as well have been a first-time-watch. Boy, is this barely-based on a videogame picture incredibly bad. It’s irrelevant that none of those games in the franchise have been played, or that I know nothing about the franchise.

The film opens w/ a hilarious, rambling, massive infodump attempting to explain this nonsense plot. Frankly, the details aren’t important; this involves a vanished civilization, the paranormal, portals… things happen, but the viewer won’t give a darn about the scenarios or the characters, unless you get offended at the blatant ripoff of scenes from Aliens like I did. It’s all poorly told, utterly bewildering; I haven’t hated every Boll that’s been tackled but he’s tremendously flawed and most are pretty bad. It was clear why most of the details were long-forgotten.

There’s also an elephant in the room; it’s nice seeing the lead players & I can’t complain about the performances of Christian Slater or Stephen Dorff; I’m glad that both are still acting in films that at least get some sort of theatrical release. However, the decision to cast TARA REID as an archaeologist/museum curator was as absurd as described. That performance wasn’t great and she’ll never be a master thespian but I hate to eviscerate her. I’ve never hated Ms. Reid as there’s been no reason to & I feel bad that she’s had those “personal demons” for years. It was only unintended irony that the CG resembles a 2005 videogame, which is not a compliment.

I’ll be happy to soon forget most of Alone in the Dark again. This does not even have the temerity to be funny-bad like The House of the Dead with all its astounding creative choices. Alone is simply a mind-numbing, unenjoyable experience. Boy, am I now anxious to start watching good cinema again!

I Didn't Like Obsession, Either!

I explain why: 

This is Exhibit A in “Why most horror movies that cinephiles love made this century are massively overrated in my eyes.” Strap in folks, this'll be a long one...

If people weren't mad that I thought the new Masters of the Universe was one of the worst motion pictures I've ever seen, they will at my not even liking Obsession, let alone swooning over how it's "a masterpiece" like everyone else. No one's more disappointed than myself that this is my honest opinion. For context's sake, it has to be noted that while my opinions of modern movies are different from many on Letterboxd, that is especially so when it comes to the horror genre & what's been made in the 21st century.

I'm talking everything from the French Extreme films, Elevated Horror, indie darlings, and all the rest. Plenty I've skipped as there's been no interest. Now, I do rate films like Get Out and The Witch highly. Otherwise, It Follows, Hereditary, The Babadook, The Lighthouse, Talk to Me, Barbarian, the Candyman remake, the other Jordan Peele films-among many others-rate from “fine, I guess” to “mediocre” to “bad.”

Regrettably, what works for most people concerning such motion pictures just does nothing for me. For transparency's sake, the film was watched on Thursday, which was just a piss-poor day in general. Yet, even if the day was great, I got to go on a date with Inde Navarrette, and we attended a screening of this film... my opinion would be the same. The general idea was great-unfortunately, this did not work for me on a fundamental level. “Low-lighting” is one of the many modern cliches in this genre that I thumb my nose at, although that is also an industry-wide problem, as is “plots that make no sense if you apply even a modicum of logic to them,” “shallow focus” and “center-framed.”

Not Charlie Kirk... er, I mean “Bear” being a sad-sack pathetic loser is one thing. The fact that Nikki was his friend/co-worker for years and he was too much of a fraidy-cat to express his feelings is goofy, but I guess that's popular now to have an abhorrent horror protagonist, especially if it's a man. What I detested: the scares coming from Nikki YELLING, staring for seconds on end, sporting a goofy expression, staring for seconds on end while sporting a goofy expression, moving like she's a supernatural creature, the jump-scares, or those unnecessary gross-out moments-I couldn't be more opposed to this decision.

For those thinking that I loathed the constant F-bombs or the cat dying early on-yes, both are just irksome tropes in-what happened with the cat later was extremely unnecessary and I hated the movie the longer it went and the stupider/more unbelievable it became. If this was a short in an anthology-speaking of that, the ONLY good horror anthology made this century is Trick 'R Treat-and derived its scares & tension differently, then I'd probably love this. Perhaps that would also have less editing/continuity issues that stuck out large for me as someone who usually doesn't notice such things...

There are even bigger issues (such as how the female characters were treated) or how surface-level everything was but that'd be spoiler territory that won't be dived into. Obsession is another movie I could write a doctoral thesis about to list all the cardinal problems I had w/ the story and characters. Sigh... I'm still glad a random horror movie featuring an original idea has been such an unexpected hit that at least in the United States is still drawing big crowds and hysterically did better at the box office for a few days than the new STAR WARS movie... I'm glad most critics and fans love it-I just don't get it myself.

I can say that there were some nice subtle moments-there needed to be far more of those-and while the cast was hit or miss w/ me, Ms. Navarrette was by far the highlight. I could have an existential crisis over why June so far has been so crummy, why I've always felt like an outcast, why modern cinema is just so unappealing in totality, or more specifically why critics, the general public, and cinephiles have gone bananas over this film.

Perhaps I shouldn't worry too much, be optimistic that the rest of June will be better, and go back to a previous mindset of being baffled yet not worry about what's “popular” in recent years. After all, ever since I saw a Tweet last year describing the love for Everything, Everywhere, All at Once as “COVID-induced mass hysteria,” it makes me happy that a small segment are happy to be vocal over abominations like that insufferable crap was, no matter what “the masses” believe. Christ, that was much worse than even Obsession.

I'm glad that films like this and Backrooms (something that stands a good chance of eliciting another negative reaction from me) exist and aren't the lame, safe garbage Hollywood has made for far too long. Be that as it may, watching horror from the 20th century is just MUCH more gratifying for my tastes, no matter its flavor-Gothic, giallo, slasher, krimi, supernatural, etc. Sometimes I should just be satisfied that I'm “different” & not like anyone else.

I Saw the New Masters of the Universe So You Don't Have To

To say that I loathed this movie is a massive understatement: 

This is Exhibit A in “What I Don't Like About Modern Movies.”

Yesterday, I saw a pair of movies theatrically; the other one (which will have a take even more controversial than my belief that the new Masters of the Universe is perhaps one of the worst movies I ever saw in a cinema!) really won't make people happy but I have to be honest here. I am not even a He-Man fan; there's really no memories of the 80's cartoon yet the only reason why I even bothered: an early theatrical memory was seeing the 1987 movie with my late mother & two younger sisters. The trailers for the new movie inspired no confidence yet there was no idea the tone would be antithetical to what I wanted in what should have been a rousing adventure where the lead goes on a Hero's Journey to save his land by vanquishing an evil dastardly villain, gaining revenge in the process.

Now, the Dolph Lundgren picture was B-movie trash that was unfortunately hampered by massive budget cuts yet everyone in the cast took the picture seriously, especially Frank Langella as Skeletor, who delivered dialogue you'd hear in a serious stage play yet he made it work.

Unfortunately, yesterday was a bad day in general, so this was the wrong movie on the wrong Thursday for me... I have to be brutally honest even if no one else despised every single second like I did. The reason why I don't view “modern comedies” is because they are as funny to me as a brain tumor; well, this movie is a “modern comedy” first & foremost, yet I did not laugh a SINGLE time despite all the cringe humor, awkward moments, and the movie literally telling everyone that “He-Man” and characters w/ names like "Ram Man" and "Fisto" are stupid and are a source of mockery! No, this happened. I knew I made a grave mistake after the “babbling idiot” narration of the opening, the rancid humor that was especially wretched in the opening act, then Amazon Prime product placement every bit as bad as in Ice Cube's War of the Worlds!

I realize that this franchise began as a Mattel toy line that morphed into an 80's cartoon but talk about insulting the legacy of Roger Sweet, a toy designer who played a critical role in creating that line and just passed away in late April at the age of 91 due to dementia.

Ironically, Jared Leto was the least of this dreck's problems. He spoke in such a goofy voice anyhow, didn't sound anything like him. When there's the other nonsense I've mentioned or will mention and there's blatant, insultingly lazy needle-drop references to MUCH better movies of the past...

I hated this movie as nothing was serious-so who gave a damn about any dramatic stakes? I sure as hell didn't-every character was irritating, a cliché, or an irritating cliché (this includes the emasculated Adam, who was usually an insufferable idiot), the failed “humor” undercut any serious tension, and was fingernails on a chalkboard for over 2, long, miserable hours. I realize the lowest-possible rating is harsh even with something as atrocious as thing. After all, there are some colorful moments, the Daniel Pemberton score was cool, and I'm glad to have seen the pretty Camila Mendes in a movie. Be that as it may, everything else was so irritating, that ruined the film beyond all measure.

The final act was a special kind of disaster; not only was there an utterly baffling sequence so bad I should have walked out of the auditorium then & there... except that I would have missed something only realized after the movie—a secondary battle during the climax had no resolution! Yes, it's possible my brain blacked out during the climax, my hoping that the sweet embrace of Death would take a-hold of me to free me from this putrid film, but I swear this happened. There's no hate on everyone else for liking the movie more than me-that doesn't mean I'm not perplexed as to why.

Perhaps I should be most upset at myself; most modern movies like the new Masters of the Universe that are apparently designed to be Chinese Water Torture for me are successfully avoided. A genial childhood memory should not have influenced what I view at the cinema. At the same time, if THIS is an example of old beloved properties being modernized for modern audiences, I'm still offended as it means that those properties are being dumped on and made fun of, because it's allegedly “cool.”

It seems like at least for the past 20 years there were rumors that there'd be a new Masters of the Universe which would be proper to the franchise and have most of the action on Eternia. What a colossal disappointment that THIS is what we got. Somehow, this is from the CEO of Laika!!!!??? WTF? The highlight of the screening was the trailer for their new film.

Note that this movie is so worthless, that even a postmodern “humorous” catastrophe like this couldn't do better than a lame reference to the HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA meme I didn't even register until after arriving back home! I could write a doctoral thesis on how angry I was at this gigantic waste of time; however, too much's been said already so instead I'll conclude: this makes the 1987 Masters of the Universe look like a Robert Bresson movie!

Mudhoney

Mudhoney (1965)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Russ Meyer

Starring: Hal Hopper, Antoinette Cristiani, John Furlong, Rena Horten, Princess Livingston

From: Eve Productions 

In this special late nite post, I mention that recently, I referenced both Southern Gothic melodramas and Russ Meyer; why not watch a film that contained both? Eons ago-back during the good old days of TCM Underground-I saw a fragment of this; what was remembered the most was the incredibly distinctive Princess Livingston. She was an older, portly lady with bug eyes and missing teeth who laughed uproariously, creating a horrifying visage. Turns out, that character behaved this way often.

She was not the lead of Mudhoney. Rather, that was a dude named CALIFORNIA, from Michigan who was bumming rides to California in the early 1930’s but stuck around working on a farm in Missouri as he fell for the niece of the farm’s owner. Problem is, she already has a husband-a major abusive alcoholic SOB named Sidney. He’s one of many crazy people encountered in the town of Spooner, including a deaf-mute girl, Livingston as Maggie Marie, and several other funny-looking folks.

This movie is overheated and a lot. Expect plenty of yelling, arguing, & laughing; that is not always a negative and while this is not a motion picture to revisit often, that doesn’t mean this melodrama did not entertain me. For something low-budget and not under the auspices of the Hays Code, it was no surprise that this included everything from mild cursing and sexual assault to several topless women & acting that greatly varied in quality, although some performances were legitimately fine. John Furlong was alright as Temu George C. Scott… er, I mean California, but Hal Hopper was a highlight as the sleazeball Sidney.

The atmosphere in Mudhoney was sweltering; that helped make this film a trashy good time, sleazy yet perversely fun between the sinners, the cracked preacher, the potbellied sheriff, bearded men that only wear overalls, & so much more. Besides the tawdry entertainment this provided, it is impressive that not only was a popular grunge band named after the film, because producer Danger Mouse is a fan of Meyer and had the film’s poster in this studio, that’s why when Norah Jones worked w/ him for the 2012 album Little Broken Hearts, the cover of the album was a riff on the poster.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Howard Hawks

Starring: Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Charles Coburn, Elliott Reid, Tommy Noonan

From: 20th Century Fox

Marilyn Monroe was born on June 1, 1926; there was no better movie for me to pay tribute to a star still iconic today. I've already viewed & reviewed Some Like it Hot & The Asphalt Jungle in the past; when TCM played this last night, why not see a Howard Hawks movie new to me? He didn't direct the musical scenes but the film as a whole is solid, despite musical comedies not being my forte.

Monroe and Jane Russell (no relation) are pals who nevertheless are quite different from each other. One example is that Marilyn has a beau, despite the beau's father objecting, believing she's after his money. As she swoons over an old rich dude nicknamed PIGGY due to his owning a diamond mine, her future father-in-law hired a private eye to track her... the PI falls for Russell's character.

There are catchy songs-the presumption is that there aren't many tunes out there written about Little Rock, Arkansas!-funny moments, amusing characters, and the lead two dames never not looking stunning on screen. It was easy to fall for both women & their characters, although the focus was on Monroe, whose star was rising. What a spotlight that was shone on her.

For those not familiar, this is the film w/ the legendary scene where Marilyn wore that long pink dress and sang Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend. What a number that is: many participants, including various women suspended on the ceiling as a chandelier or on the ground as candelabras. This routine both looked & sounded impressive.

While this normally isn't in my wheelhouse, I was still entertained by Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. This was a nice platform for the talents of Ms. Monroe. I'm glad that many around the world celebrated this particular anniversary yesterday. For all her personal demons and her death that forever will be clouded w/ mystery, movies like this demonstrate why even in 2026, millions are still fans of the lady born Norma Jeane Mortenson.

Do or Die

Do or Die (1991)

Runtime: 97 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: The usual Sidaris players, plus the likes of Erik Estrada... and PAT MORITA!

From: Malibu Bay Films 

Featuring:

Temu John Stamos
Temu William Zabka
Pandora Peaks
PAT MORITA giving a naked lady a shiatsu massage
This lady then massaged Morita and GAVE HIM A BONER. Thankfully in this case, this was told rather than shown
Cajun music
Model airplanes
A cat death, unfortunately
Exploding baseballs

This sure was an Andy Sidaris movie. I haven’t seen all of his films (nor do I want to) but it’s been ages since one has been peeped, and I was curious to see a former Oscar nominee in Morita as the villain in one of his pictures.

Morita is a heel who wishes to kill the “legendary” duo of Dona Spier and Roberta Vasquez, but he wants it to be “a challenge” so various teams of assassins target the pair throughout. This is as complex as the plot becomes. The lead women are assisted by several pals, including Erik Estrada-in a different role than the one he had in the last Sidaris picture, Guns-Peaks, series regular Edy Stark, and the Great Value actors & Temu Stamos-another Abilene in the Sidaris Cinematic Universe who can’t shoot a gun straight.

Morita had an incredibly easy gig; after the opening scene by the Hawaiian beach, he hung out w/ that young Asian lady as they gave each other massages, sat around, stood around, and were in bed together. Speaking of that, the film has several gratuitous sex scenes, including one w/ Estrada! The action is alright; nothing will top the insanity of the action beats in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, although at least there are some nice explosions.

Ultimately, the viewer should have the right expectations with an Andy Sidaris film. In a Pre-Internet era, poppycock like Do or Die gave viewers of a certain demographic what they yearned for: easy access to T&A, not to mention cheesy action. Concerning Pandora Peaks, she later had a documentary made about her… by Russ Meyer! I’m happy that Meyer and Sidaris have only two degrees of separation. Self-reminder: see more movies from Russ Meyer.

 

Vagabond

Vagabond (Sans Toit Ni Loi) (1985)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Agnes Varda

Starring: Sandrine Bonnaire, Macha Meril, Stephane Freiss, Setti Ramdane, Francis Balchere

From: A few different European companies

I don’t have to ask: everyone will be APPALLED that this is my first Agnes Varda picture. Of course, the gender of a director bears no impact on what films I’ve seen. Many of the “popular” modern films from women haven’t been seen due to a lack of interest but various old genre film directed by females have been reviewed before. As she’s a highly-regarded director and I felt bad when Godard was an A-hole to her soon before they both passed away in recent years… about time a film from Varda was reviewed.

Vagabond was selected due to its availability on the Criterion Channel and the plot description. The opening is a lady named Mona found dead in a ditch at a vineyard. The rest of the picture is a flashback which reveal the last few weeks of her life. The keystone detail to note: the opinions of Mona are only framed via the opinions of a panoply of different people she encounters as those people addressed the camera directly, rather than any opinions that Mona expressed herself. How much of their recollections are accurate and aren’t an unreliable narrator is up to interpretation.

Vagabond by design is not an easy watch between the spiraling downfall of the main character, the manner in which she’s treated, and her own obvious faults that make her flawed at best, quite unlikable at worst. That said, Mona was a fascinating character, brought to life excellently by Sandrine Bonnaire. Buttressed by solid turns from the rest of the cast, confident direction from Varga, a violin-driven score from Joanna Bruzdowicz made this a worthwhile journey even if the protagonist is one who yearned to be free-her backstory is presented during one segment-and her slow, inevitable downfall is a sad journey.

In the future, I’ll see more from Agnes Varda-some mutuals noted that this movie felt atypical for her-and eventually, my first Chantal Akerman will be experienced. One Varda I know of has the English title KUNG-FU MASTER! Besides that not being a direct translation of its original French title, it’s a bizarre reference to the old 80’s arcade game in a movie that only is tangentially related to said arcade game and is a twisted romantic drama instead of a martial arts or action picture.

 

Squirm

Squirm (1976)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Jeff Lieberman

Starring: Don Scardino, Patricia Pearcy, R.A. Dow, Jean Sullivan, Fran Higgins

From: AIP 

I’ve known of Squirm for many years; about time I finally gave the movie a shot, right? It’s nice to cross off films from my figurative (not to mention literal) watchlists.

This is a nature gone amok motion picture which in the first half more resembled a sweaty Southern Gothic drama where the Brundlefly combination of Sissy Spacek, Lea Thompson, & Kerri Green welcomes Not Willem Dafoe as he arrives from New York City to her rural Georgia town that’s still hot & humid despite the late September date-as someone who lives in Florida, that’s accurate. The nature gone amok plot point: a nasty thunderstorm resulted in downed power lines, resulting in killer carnivorous worms attacking man & animal. Note that we see macro photography of the worms… who scream! That sound effect was taken from Carrie, believe it or not.

The movie takes its time as you get to know the key characters, including a silver-fox sleazy sheriff and a WORM FARMER named Roger who was a rather strong country bumpkin in this sea of country bumpkins w/ strong Southern accents, although lead girl Geri’s sister Alma entertained me the most-she was the biggest redneck in the film & was unintentionally hysterical.

Once the second half hits, the special effects arrive; some are cheesy, sure, but others are from the legend, Rick Baker-those were effective. Squirm is quite silly-especially with how tidy and short the resolution was. At the same time, the setting and characters brought me much joy. Somewhere in the multiverse, this would have starred Martin Sheen, Kim Basinger, & Stallone (!! He lobbied to get the role. The world missed out on Sly as Roger, the worm farmer redneck) yet the unknowns and randoms in the film ranged from adequate to pretty good.

Squirm is not a must-see, unless you have a fetish for worms. At the same time, I was not left crestfallen after finally checking out a movie I’ve known of for literal decades.

Hips, Hips, Hooray!

Hips, Hips, Hooray! (1934)

Runtime: 67 minutes

Directed by: Mark Sandrich

Starring: Bert Wheeler, Robert Woolsey, Thelma Todd, Dorothy Lee, George Meeker

From: RKO

In this special late nite Letterboxd posting, I reveal that this is my first Wheeler & Woosley film. Even on Letterboxd, I imagine that not everyone who views Pre-Code pictures will be familiar with the vaudeville turned movie actor duo Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsley. I have known of them for years since it took until last night to finally pull the trigger. This was found-via the Bowels of the Internet-due to stumbling upon a recent review which proclaimed how racy the movie was.

This is piffle where the duo are cheap humbugs that sell… flavored lipstick on street corners without a license. They fanoodle around and meet Dorothy Lee, a common sight in their movies. She’s connected to a beauty-supply company and that’s about all the viewer needs to know. Hips is never uproariously or a knee-slapper, yet there were funny scenarios, amusing puns, running gags, sight gags new to me, and absurd scenarios. Plus, there’s even a few songs, including one from Ruth Etting, as herself. She’s a singer turned actress popular at the time who is long-forgotten by now.

The film features moments racy even for a Pre-Code. There’s a gag involving a woman’s cleavage, other dames are in what appeared to be fishtanks, and yet more appear in rather revealing outfits, which included a bit of side-boob. There is a scene rather creepy by 2026 standards where the duo… kiss those women in the revealing outfits so they can guess what flavored lipstick they have on. What a sight it was to see someone who looked like a Brundlefly combination of Orville Redenbacher & a tortoise kiss multiple young women! But boy, is it unfortunate that one of the two detectives following the duo is named… Epstein.

Hips did make me laugh so I was happy to see this; I didn’t even mind that this was basically a loosely-strung together series of gags. It was nice seeing Thelma Todd, a charming young blonde who sadly passed away at the age of 29 via circumstances that could have been her taking her life, or could have been murder. On a lighter note, it was nice to see Phyllis Berry in a smaller role-she was in the 1939 Three Stooges short Three Little Sew and Sews. They plus Lee all did swell jobs.

As the film also featured a few songs and a rather wild song & dance number, I was entertained by this piffle, which was only 67 minutes long. It may be many months in the future, but eventually more Wheeler & Woolsey will be witnessed.

Jallikattu

Jallikattu (2019)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Lijo Jose Pellissery

Starring: Antony Varghese, Chemban Vinod Jose, Sabumon Abdusamad, Santhy Balachandran, Jaffer Idukki

From: Several different Indian companies

This was a different sort of Indian movie, at least to a dumb white American like me who usually only sees the insane, bombastic, OOT efforts from the 21st century starring macho men who are as unstoppable as Superman.

This film in the Malayalam language is only 93 minutes in length, has zero musical numbers, got some traction in the West (including playing at the London & Toronto Film Festivals one year) and had high aspirations with its panoply of characters, sound design, long takes, score full of discordant chants & other sounds, and cinematography. The movie was selected as India’s submission to the 93rd Academy Awards for Best International Feature Film-impressive, even if it wasn’t selected as one of the five nominees.

At a rural village in Southern India, a bull escapes before the butcher can slaughter it. After the opening that introduces various characters, the film’s pacing is like a bull at full sprint; the bull’s attacks are only a small part of the movie. The crux of the focus is on the characters, the drama that was unmasked due to this stressful event, and-ahem-their beefs with each other. Naturally, it's the men & their masculinity which is the problem.

Jallikattu is the sort of motion picture better seen than described; besides the long-sustained shots in the cinematography and the score/sound design, the occasions when the bull acts like, well, a bull in a China shop, those moments are exciting. However, it’s the characters reacting to this event that should be expected from the viewer. Props to Lijo Jose Pellissery for creating a well-made, serious film built on bones that translates well & could be remade in any different culture but the flavor of the state/country tastes rather savory as this was brought to life w/ great skill.

Oh, and there’s a minor character who grows medicinal plants, is peaceful, and proclaims that the bull should be left alone and not killed-I know someone who will give this Vegan Points.

Fast Company

Fast Company (1979)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: David Cronenberg!

Starring: William Smith, Nicholas Campbell, John Saxon, Don Francks, Claudia Jennings

From: A few different Canadian companies 

This laid-back drag racing movie from DAVID CRONENBERG was as much a hoot as expected. Auto racing in general is not something I really watch, not even drag racing and its impressive living a quarter-mile at a time credo, driving more than 200 miles (322 kilometers) per hour. Of course, the director is the main reason many have even seen this “good old boy” picture that capitalized on such films as Smokey and the Bandit. Cronenberg admittedly only worked on this film for a paycheck, even if he is interested in cars and racing.

This follows a team sponsored by a motor oil company, FastCo. William Smith is a legend who drives “fuelies” (those long cars w/ the small wheels on the front) but it blows up pretty early. The drama is that John Saxon is a bureaucrat who is the team boss but is also a jerk who cares more about presenting the sponsorship than the team actually winning. He demands that Smith drives “funny cars” (those vehicles that look more like traditional road-legal automobiles) despite that being a role already had by young upstart Nicholas Campbell.

The viewer sees the team interact w/ rivals & deal w/ romantic entanglements. The film is straightforward & not subversive nor is there any body horror present, unless you count “guy pouring motor oil on the naked chest of a young woman as a form of foreplay!” This has little of his trademark style and it’s bizarre to see him direct a movie w/ a country rock soundtrack, full of characters that look amazingly of their time, giving themselves such monikers as MEATBALL and STONER. 

A laid-back 70’s movie like this isn’t for all tastes anyhow, and those that wanted more of the director’s style will be left disappointed. Well, I typically like laid-back 70’s movies and I was fine with the focus not on the sport, but rather the characters and their drama. The presence of such actors as Smith, Saxon, Campbell, cult favorite Claudia Jennings, and such “that guy” actors as Don Francks was naturally an asset. The drag races were at least exciting for those that are fans. The Western Canadian scenery was pleasant.

If your expectations are in check, you might have a good time; your opinions on cynical 70’s cinema-yes, this is one of those as well-will play a key role in your opinion of Fast Company. As the final 10 or so minutes were wild, I enjoyed Fast Company even if the other Cronenberg I’ve seen was better.

Warriors of the Wasteland

Warriors of the Wasteland (i.e. The New Barbarians; I Nuvori Barbari) (1983)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Enzo G. Castellari

Starring: Giancarlo Prete, Fred Williamson, George Eastman (RIP), Anna Kanakis, Ennio Girolami

From: Deaf International/Fulvia Film

RIP George Eastman. After Jack Taylor, another familiar face in European genre films passed away recently. I’ve only seen a few movies with the giant (6’9, i.e. 2.06 meters!) actor who also wrote some films but I know some mutuals would want to hear the news if they hadn’t already-he died on the 19th at the age of 83.

Don’t confuse this w/ 2019: After the Fall of New York, despite The New Barbarians/Warriors of the Wasteland also being set in 2019 “after the nuclear holocaust” and the film also featuring Eastman. This was rather blatantly “inspired” by Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior-OK, I can’t sugarcoat it, the film is a ripoff. Eastman leads a gang known as The Templars, who want to exterminate all of humanity as the world’s a wasteland anyhow. I suppose he supports the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement…

Our hero is Scorpion, portrayed by Italian actor Giancarlo Prete. He meets a woman named Alma, who sadly doesn’t do all that much besides look pretty. There’s also Bob from The House by the Cemetery, a Fulci I haven’t tackled yet but will later in the year and several mutuals were bemused by his presence. However, the highlight acting-wise was from Fred Williamson-as typical, he portrayed an Alpha Male who was a deus ex machina more than once & possessed much more swagger than Scorpion, to the degree that his character NADIR hooked up w/ a random supporting woman character. I’ve never viewed The House by the Cemetery-yet; that’ll change later in the year-but multiple mutuals found it funny that child actor Bob from the film has a memorable supporting role here.

Barbarians/Warriors was filmed on the cheap and is silly crap. At the same this, this was a cheesy fun time which gave what B-movie afficionados would want: explosions, decapitations, car chases-albeit rather slower than the ones you saw in George Miller’s films-fire, exploding arrows, bravado, pew pew laser guns, & more. It definitely gave me what I wanted: to me, THE highlight was the wild, on-fire synth score from the great Claudio Simonetti.

As Eastman played his villain role rather well, this was not only a satisfactory way to tip my cap, but also a nice experience. Once in awhile, I’m alright w/ experiencing such foolishness-it’ll never become more commonplace in my cinematic diet.