Runtime:
91 minutes
Directed
by: Fede Alvarez
Starring:
Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas,
Elizabeth Blackmore
From:
TriStar
My
apologies for getting this up real late Thursday night when I wanted
to do it much earlier; at somewhat late notice I decided to go to St.
Petersburg to see the Tampa Bay Rays play a baseball game and I had
no time to finish this and post it before I left in the afternoon. My
apologies. I will be back Saturday night.
Here
is the second half of the double bill I saw Tuesday night along with
Pain & Gain at the drive-in. Ever since I heard there was going
to be a remake of the classic original film (which I reviewed back in2010) I thought it was an extraordinarily stupid idea, as while the
original is super low-budget and goofy, that is a big part of what
makes it so great, the low-fi quality and how awesome things were
done despite the minimal cost. It's just a blast to watch and the
special effects still work for me more than 30 years later. A
remake... what a stupid idea as how can you improve on such a classic
horror tale?
Well,
turns out that despite all the hype it's gotten from the D-bag
hipster festival known as SXSW and from horror websites/people in the
community I usually trust, I ended up HATING this movie. More on why
after I say that the plot here concerns 5 young people who are at a
remote cabin and in this version, one of them is a drug abuser so
they brought her here to make her go cold turkey, so when the fit
hits the shan, at first they thought she's just going through withdrawal and yeah, I wasn't a fan of that aspect.
Sure,
this movie has a lot of gore, more than usual for a big studio horror
film, at least in recent times. That's all well and good, but I
really wish they would have focused as much on the script... what a
terrible nonsensical script this is. I could go on and on about it
but it's total crap and that was a huge turn-off for me. For example,
to give a minor spoiler, the necronomicon (the book of the dead; it
allowed for the evil to come to the cabin in both the original and
this) is found in the basement of the house. In the original, it
makes sense why that book would be in the cabin as the person who
used it last disappeared after getting possessed. In this version,
it's different. There is a cold open which tells a different tale and
based on that, it makes zero sense why it would be found there...
covered with a garbage bag and barbed wire, and random curse words in
English written on the pages. Besides that making zero logical sense,
why wasn't the book just hidden so that a long-haired bearded dude
couldn't come across it and read the magic words that bring the evil
there?
Then,
there's the characters. Among the five, the bearded guy is the only
one who I did not despise. The rest are total asstagonists. They are
rude selfish stupid characters, especially the brother (Fernandez) of
the drug user (Levy). There's conflict between he and his sister, and
it's definitely understandable why she'd hate that douche. Besides
that, he seemingly always does the wrong thing, and the stupidest
thing at that. And somehow one of the stupid things he does...
somehow works? Yeah, I got quite upset at that moment. I just don't
get why this has gotten love from so many places. At least I know
that some segments of the community think similarly to me in that
it's vastly overrated.
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