Monday, December 3, 2012

Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: Ronn Moss, Dona Spier, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond

From: Malibu Bay Films

Yep, tonight I decided to see another Andy Sidaris film, this time one that is more like the ones he became famous for, combining intrigue with big-breasted women taking off their tops, outlandishness with sunny tropical locations... along with more action and explosions.

The plot: Some local cops discover a drug operation; it is financed by diamond smuggling. When a pair of DEA agents who happen to look like Playboy Playmates (Spier, Carlton) stumble upon them being delivered by a remote control helicopter-they find two containers full but lose track of one of them-they get hassled by the bad guys who want to find both containers. Oh, and a giant snake that is evil because it was fed CANCER-STRICKEN RATS (their words) by the government in an experiment is on the loose. The ladies are also helped by the cousin of the hero of Malibu Express (who became a movie star, and appeared in a movie called Malibu Express, allowing the film to be meta and show off a poster for it) and his pal.

The plot really isn't important. Rather, it's intrigue and such things as cross-dressing, bloody gunfights, and a lot of outlandishness. In fact, several scenes from it have become famous online. Someone put together them and some others into a 10 minute video on YouTube, which is below. It is better to watch that than me try to describe all the wackiness.


There aren't as many different pairs of breasts as in Malibu Express but some of them you see a few times each. There's some padding (not bra-padding... not too many bras are worn in this movie at all) but it's with goofy characters so you aren't bored by it. It includes a sportscaster and a totally sexist server at a restaurant. Overall, the movie isn't technically great but boy is it entertaining, with dialogue that is pretty funny at times, whether intentional or not. With the great Hawaiian scenery, mellow late 80's music and some funny 80's fashion, this is quite the film.

I'll be back Wednesday night.

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