Runtime:
81 minutes
Directed
by: BJ McDonnell
Starring:
Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan, Caroline Williams, Robert Diago DoQui
From:
Ariescope Pictures
I
know it's a little later than when I had planned to have this up, but
it happens. In hindsight, I would have been better off not even
spending the time and Xbox points to watch this, but I had no idea I
would have this reaction...
Back
in 2010 I finally saw the first Hatchet, a movie that has a lot of
fans in the horror community. I talk about that here, but I thought
it was not a good film. The gore was great and there were some funny
moments, but most of the characters were asstagonists and just stupid
in an aggravating way. I got to se the sequel on the big screen. You
can read all about that experience here. It was better than the first
but overall was average. More interesting than the film was how Kane
Hodder appeared in person and he delivered a Q&A before and after
the movie. Sad to say, due to still unclear reasons the movie got
yanked from its AMC engagements everywhere after only like about 2
days.
With
this movie, it only opened in a few markets earlier in the month but
among other streaming sites it was on Xbox Video so I figured I would
watch it, as I have seen the first two and I haven't heard anything
major that would not make me want to see it.
Well...
the plot is that now Victor Crowley is unstoppable in a preposterous
way. Even after the ending of the second movie, and what happens in
the opening minutes of this movie. The police and eventually the SWAT
team end up in the swamp to collect the dead bodies, and that allows
for Mr. Crowley (not on his white horse) to find more victims to
kill, but this time the kills are badly done and just not that
interesting, but mainly there are bad effects, especially when they
are of the CGI kind. There's more but I don't want to get into it.
Yep,
I did not like this movie... actually, I am putting it mildly. I
HATED this movie. HATED. What a rancid piece of crap. It's not just
the stupid nonsense story but most of the characters you see here are
horrible loathsome human beings, especially the lead of the movie,
Marybeth. Honestly. I have no idea why a character that was a big
bitch in the first one but not to a turn-off point and who was not as
bad in the second one suddenly turned into the most legit detestable
major turn-off in the worst way character I have EVER seen. Ever. She
was such a complete... I don't want to use misogynistic terms so I'll
just say that character did a lot to make me despise this movie,
although there certainly are other things that just make me think it
is a bad movie, but that character made it into a film that legit
makes me very angry, and that definitely is not a good thing. It's
been a long while since I've been this upset with a motion picture,
as a matter of fact. Not even the son of legendary character actor DoQui and Stritch from the second Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie can save it, but at least I did not wish for Mr. Crowley to tear them from limb to limb like I did most people in this.
Even if you loved the first two, I would say to
stay far away from this. For everyone else, you'll be happier if you
never have this festering sore enter your lives. I mean, not only do
I think that I'd much rather watch the crappy A Good Day To Die Hard,
but even the stinky piece of crap known as Creature was a better
movie! Both movies share an actor (I won't spoil who it is) and at
least in Creature he's in it more and I liked more people in that and
I could laugh a few times, even if it was in disbelief.
I'll
be back Sunday night and I should be watching something that doesn't
make my blood boil.
No comments:
Post a Comment