Tuesday, May 21, 2019

John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum



Runtime: 130 minutes

Directed by: Chad Stahleski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, some characters making their returns, and other characters making their debut... all of whom I hated

From: Summit

Most people love this motion picture... I don't.


You know, I now loathe the John Wickiverse.

This will be yet another one of those reviews where I have an outlier opinion and most will vehemently disagree with it. I do dread when those moments happen as I don't want to spend time and money seeing something that is overwhelmingly beloved but it left me cold and/or angry. I especially don't want to bash a film with great action scenes (even if they were preposterous and the filmmakers were trying WAY too hard to “be cool” with them) filmed pretty well and something which both looked and sounded great, especially if you saw it in a Dolby Cinema like I did.

As is usually my bugaboo, it's the story and characters which I have an issue with. The original John Wick was great as the plot-however simple it was-lead to us seeing a badass wreck a bunch of dudes and explained a shadowy world that was usually in the periphery. Chapter 2 had great action beats in a story I didn't really care for-it wasn't real enjoyable and the more that was revealed about the world, the less I wanted to hear about it. As it gave a teaser for Chapter 3 that I did not care for, I'll be frank here and say that I wasn't really looking forward to this. Still, I went into Parabellum with an open mind, hoping that I would have more fun with this.

Alas... even with the memorable action, I HATED the story. Many problems with the script, I did have. There is poor storytelling going on and I did not find it “cute” that there would be loud fights going on or people obviously being killed in broad daylight with witnesses all over the place yet no one seemed to notice at all. The new characters introduced here... it made the worst ones from Chapter 2 seem fine in comparison. Honestly, all were insufferable in various ways, whether they were just generally unpleasant or in one instance, massively annoying. One in particular I ended up groaning whenever they would occasionally pop up in the story; in this day and age I better clarify that my opinion isn't on the performer (and especially not what they identify as) but rather the poor character they had to try and play.

While watching the film, I realized through all its dopey moments and gross-out gags... what a terrible world the John Wickiverse is. I mean, it does not seem like any fun to be in whatsoever with all its misery and depressing moments. I know Chapter 4 has already been announced for 2021 but... who knows if I'll ever see that with what was teased at the end of this... I could write paragraphs about how awful and nonsensical the ending was but I'd get even madder that what was a simple and fun story in the original film became this illogical, implausible mess where the plot seemed like the last thing the filmmakers were concerned about.

Most people love this movie and that's fine; for me I was reminded why I tend to go for the older films to visit or revisit-they tend to be more interesting or just more enjoyable to me than a lot of the modern movies, no matter the praise they receive.

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