Thursday, March 7, 2013

The ABC's of Death



Runtime: 129 minutes

Directed by: 27 different directors! This is a film of 26 different shorts, after all

Starring: A whole slew of people, none of whom you've heard of before

From: Drafthouse Films

This is a movie I have referenced before, as I have known about it for who knows how many months now, and it's quite the concept and it is impressive they were able to pull in all those people for the project. You can look at IMDb to see all the talent but there are some big names present, especially if you follow the recent horror scene closely. I saw this via Xbox Video and as it's apparently getting a limited release soon (it's played at some random screenings in the past) the price was 800 Microsoft Points, definitely more than usual. I paid up and watched it that way.

The gimmick: 27 different directors (that includes a duo that works as one) were given 5 thousand dollars each and were given a letter of the alphabet, and they had to make some sort of horror short that was 5 minutes or less. Otherwise they coulld do whatever the hell they wanted to. This is why you have a great variety, from Claymation to animation, slasher to satire, gore to bathroom humor, and seemingly everything in between. More than one of them I am not even sure are really horror movies.

Unfortunately, I thought that the majority of the shows were C as in Crap!

I won't be discussing each of the 26 segments, as that'd take forever and I don't know if anyone cares that much for such an extensive breakdown. But, I say that there are some real good segments and a few that were alright. The rest of them, though... they were a mix of confusing, pointless, insulting, WTF (and not just the segment entitled W as in WTF), complete nonsense, offensive, or a mix of all of them. Lord knows I am not the only one who thinks that the majority of the segments are misses, whether or not they are film critics, horror website reviews, or fan opinions. Sure, there's definitely some disagreements as to which ones are the best, but the point stands. Personally, two of my favorites were a segment that pretty much involves furries (yes; it was like a Tex Avery cartoon, believe it or not) and another one that was in there because the guy won a contest. Oh, and there was another one that pretty much entirely is about masturbation!

The worst one (and there are several contenders for this) has to be Ti West's segment, M is for Miscarriage. It's obvious what it is about, but it's completely lazy and uninspired. That is even worse than the offensive nature of the short. I mean, there are definitely some offensive material in this movie, to make it clear. While I say that there are more misses than hits, at least with many of them there were attempts at creativity. It definitely does not always work but there were attempts at least. West's short was just awful in every way. Between that, his segment in V/H/S and The House of the Devil, why does he have so many fans? At least it seems like there's a backlash against him now amongst more than a few in the horror community.

I would say not to watch this on Xbox Video or in a theatre or later on DVD; wait until Netflix Instant or Redbox. Unfortunately, that is about as much as this failed experiment is worth. I really do with that this and V/H/S would have been better, as I usually think that independent/foreign horror is a lot more interesting than the staid and weak mainstream horror we have usually gotten in recent years. It was a greatly ambitious idea that sad to say did not live up to its premise. If you do see it you can decide for yourself which segments are your favorite.

I'll be back Saturday afternoon.

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