Saturday, March 30, 2013

G.I. Joe: Retaliation




Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Jon M. Chu

Starring: The Rock, Adrianne Palicki, D.J. Cotrona, Channing Tatum, Jonathan Pryce

From: Paramount

Yes, despite what I said recently concerning the first movie, I still went and saw this movie, as the trailers made it look better and there's The Rock and I should have given the parties that pushed this back the middle finger by not seeing it, but I did anyhow.

Overall, I did like it better than the first movie, but... you probably already know the plot from the trailers: the Joe's get betrayed so they have to join back together to stop Cobra Commander and his gang from taking over the White House and ruiling the world, and blah blah blah.

This movie... in hindsight, getting pissed that it got pushed back at the last minute for 9 months was more about the stupidity of doing such a thing and how it reeks of corporate stupidity and bureaucratic poppycock rather than damaging a quality movie, as a quality movie this is not. It's a big stupid action film but I did not get much enjoyment out of it aside from some pretty cool moments, The Rock being awesome and nice eye candy in Palicki and Elodie Yung as Jinx.

Otherwise, though, there's a nonsensical story I usually could not care less about, chaotic action scenes (not always in a good way; the post-conversion 3D probably hampered that at times as it wasn't designed to have 3D action sequences) and Oh My God is the movie filled with atrocious dialogue. I mean, just terrible. Some were so bad I laughed but the rest was just painful. An actual line is: “A quicker blower-upper”. Honest. And let's not start on the painfully stupid and awful HasBromance relationship between The Rock and Channing Tatum's characters.

While I would likely be extraordinarily angry if I ever summoned up the courage to watch a Transformers movie (I barely watched the cartoon as a kid), this is still something which probably tells me that movies like this just must not be for me.

I'll be back Monday night; I've been seeing crappy films as of late, haven't I? I need to try and fix that.

No comments:

Post a Comment