Tuesday, January 26, 2021

The Jewel Of The Nile

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Lewis Teague

Starring: Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, Spyros Fokas, Avner Eisenberg

From: 20th Century Fox

Featuring the most unexpected usage of Freaks Come Out at Night.

A few years ago I saw and reviewed Romancing the Stone. That was a first time watch (in full; I had seen parts of that and this as a kid as my mom liked both) and it was good for what it was... an amusing and light adventure w/ plenty of laughs and some nice scenery. As Jewel is going to leave Prime next week it was time to finally give this a shot. Now, I heard this had production issues, but it wasn't until afterwards I discovered what they were: this was in fact rushed into production, Kathleen Turner did not like the story at all but was forced to stay under penalty of being sued for many millions of dollars, filming in Morocco was not smooth due to errors & the locals being corrupt, several crew members died in a plane crash, others had near-miss wrecks, and most tragically, Diane Thomas-who wrote the script to Romancing the Stone and the story of how she pitched this to Michael Douglas at the coffee shop she worked at is great-died in a car crash shortly before this came out. Apparently she did uncredited work on Nile but for certain the story here is not as strong as in Stone.

There are contrivances which drive the lead duo apart; Turner ends up in “Northern Africa” where an Arab ruler is about to take over a country and he's actually a corrupt A-hole who wants to control the titular jewel. He wants her to write a puff piece autobiography, which does not turn out well and it's both Douglas & DeVito who have to try and save her. Much wackiness ensues, including a “Nubian” tribe & Arab tribespeople who carry around giant boomboxes that blast Whodini's Freaks Come Out at Night... really. While there are stereotypes, for me it has not aged so badly that the movie is full of cringe; some of DeVito's one-liners are questionable now but otherwise I did not shake my head at those elements. Some of the effects, however...

I'll be kind and give this a “fine” rating. While the original is better overall, the fact that the finished product did not turn out to be a disaster deserves some sort of credit. The star power of the three leads definitely helps, as does the interesting action scenes & rather peculiar score from Jack Nitszchke; a quality end credits song from Billy Ocean was nice too. A few things did tickle me pink and perhaps only I would feel this way. After the fantasy opening, I need not ever wonder anymore what Douglas in Cutthroat Island would have been like; the same goes for him drinking a Budweiser... for some reason I am not sure if he's actually had a can of Bud in his life. The 80's-ness of this was confirmed when the comedy troupe The Flying Karamazov Brothers have prominent roles and moments were shoehorned in for the purpose of showing off their talents.

It was still light entertainment which had laughs, so this was not a decision I later regretted.

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