Runtime:
113 minutes
Directed
by: David S. Goyer
Starring:
Wesley Snipes, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Parker Posey, Dominic
Purcell
From:
New Line Cinema
NOTE: There is actually an extended cut of this film; that was not
what I saw. I saw the theatrical version, as that was what I had
available to me.
Yes, this is as bad as I remembered and you probably remember. Since the only time before last night I had seen this movie (more than a decade ago) there was co-star Patton Oswalt talking about the disastrous production, where Snipes-like with the first two, also a producer-was not happy with writer David S. Goyer also becoming a director of Trinity (he was not the first choice for the task; there were several others who left and the project fell into his lap), so he smoked pot all the time in his trailer and did so little on set that doubles and his face being CG'ed onto someone else was often used. The Chris Parry article “Drugs, Stand-Ins, Mood Swings and Legal Action: The Real Wesley Snipes” confirms the star's bad behavior. Considering his career was already floundering by this point, what a bad time for spoiled brat behavior. As this apparently wasn't the only time he acted this way on a movie set, I am honestly not surprised that once he was released from prison because of tax evasion, his only theatrical credit has been The Expendables 3 and he's been doing TV and direct to video work.
Even if Snipes hadn't mailed in his performance, who knows if this would have been a good film or not. I do not know how much Wesley not giving an S necessitated the plot being changed around to try and make the story be at least a little coherent. As is, this movie stinks. Blade seems like a supporting character to a new band of vampire hunters known as The Nightstalkers, who are lame dorks that love showing off Apple productions in unnatural ways and in the case of Ryan Reynolds, was an obnoxious D-bag who had diarrhea of the mouth and always made the stupidest, least funny comments; I hope the Deadpool movies did not have the “humor” he displayed here, where he babbled about Hello Kitty tattoos and made incredibly gross misogynistic comments.
Then there is DRACULA, who ends up being a totally lame and ineffectual character. Dracula vs. Blade should be awesome and instead it's crap. Not even the action scenes are worthwhile, and in the short amount of time he's on screen, Kris Kristofferson obviously thought as little of the script as Snipes did... he also phones it in. There are so many dumb moments and scenes that seem important at the time then later you realize they actually aren't. About the only compliments I can give is that Triple H wasn't bad and Parker Posey must have quickly realized the boondoggle she got herself involved with, as she hammed it the hell up here.
I have often remarked how the production of some movies is a lot more interesting than the movie itself; this is definitely the case with Blade: Trinity... between Snipes eventually only communicating with Goyer via Post-It Notes, Natasha Lyonne being a part of the cast at a bad point in her life, and who knows what else... I am sure being a fly on the wall during shooting would have been a great feeling, watching a tire fire happening right before your eyes.
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