The Forbidden Kingdom

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Rob Minkoff

Starring: Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Michael Angarano, Collin Chou, Li Bingbing

From: Lionsgate

This is a film I have seen before; I did not like it then and my opinion now is little different. I explain why below: 

I will be honest here: as sometimes happen, I see a movie because it's about to disappear from a streaming service in a matter of days; typically I do this with Netflix Instant. This film will be gone soon, so watch it last night I did. I actually have seen this once before (back in '08) and I was not a fan. I know some who are so I decided to give it another shot. Well, don't expect me to ever see this a third time.

The story is some nonsense about some dorky white kid (Michael Angarano, who I've always thought of as “Not Shia LaBeouf”) who acquires a magical staff and somehow gets transported to feudal China, where he meets up with both Jackie Chan and Jet Li. I'd ask why it had to be a dorky white kid who of course is lover of old Wuxia movies instead of a Chinese-American kid or even (as someone else brought up in a review here) a mixed-race kid... but it's Hollywood so we know the answer why, and it is disappointing.

Then again, I say the movie has bigger issues than that. The story is goofy and for an “epic journey” isn't too exciting, even with on-location shooting and plenty of pretty scenery. And what a Hero's Journey for the lead. He's stupid and sucks at the martial arts so he always gets his ass kicked. To me it would have been preferable if his idiot somehow became a Kung Fu expert instead of what we got, where-even with what happened at the very end-he comes off as a real buffoon. Now, I should have enjoyed Jackie and Jet berating him for being such a dumbass but I couldn't, as pretty much everyone in the movie is very annoying; nothing tops The Monkey King for being irritating but I did not like any of the characters.

At least the martial arts were cool (even if they were of the CG and wire-fu variety) and considering they were old even then, what we got in the epic battle between Chan and Li was probably about as good as we were going to get. Oh, what it would have been like if those two legends had made a movie together in the mid 90's... it probably would have been pretty great. I am sure that it would not have had Jet giving Jackie A GOLDEN SHOWER. Instead, we get some silly fantasy with a character which should not have been Not Shia and something that should have been more entertaining, more fun, and even more whimsical.