Saturday, January 12, 2013

Hanzo The Razor: Sword of Justice



Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Kenji Misumi

Starring: Shintaro Katsu, Yukiji Asaoka, Mari Atsumi, Ko Nishimura

From: Toho

A few days ago I decided to sign up for a free month of Hulu Plus. It was due to an offer I got when I purchased an Xbox 360 last month. They have quite the selection of foreign/Criterion films so I think for at least the next month (I might pay for an additional 30 days) that will be the majority of what I review here. Last night I decided to go with this movie, the first of a trilogy, based off of a manga, and it's an infamous movie... I'll expain why in a bit if you are unfamiliar.

The film is about a samurai warrior named Hanzo (Katsu) who is a real loose cannon. He always talks back and mouths off to his superior (Nishimura), but that's because said superior is corrupt and Hanzo is almost Puritanical in following the way of the samurai to the letter. The main plot is him investigating a case of corruption, but that isn't the important thing here. Besides him being an awesome badss (great skills, his take no shit attitude, him openly laughing uproariously when he discovers the true reason for the plot) and the film having an AWESOME funky 70's score that fits him well, Hanzo is well-known for one thing...

He has an enormous penis!

Yes. This is stressed often. You see it demonstrated with visual humor and even with some brief real blurry shots of an actual large dick. He does self-torture to make himself tougher... and this also gets him aroused. He also makes his schlong tougher by laying it down on a piece of wood and literally beats his meat with another piece of wood. Oh, and there is also him having sex with a bag of rice. Yep, yep.

Unfortunately, there is one aspect to Hanzo that is incredibly uncomfortable. More than once on the case, Hanzo has to interrorgate a female suspect and he does so by... pretty much RAPING them. They end up enjoying it due to his sexual virility. Extraordinarily creepy. The way I was able to rationalize it is, the entire film is so over the top (from the violence to everything else) and that aspect is so disgusting it becomes laughable. But boy do I wish that wasn't a part of the entire film series as it just skeeves you out, you know. What happens to a woman who is trapped nude in a net is best seen rather than described, but WOW.

Oh, and an important plot point of this movie set in feudal Japan is a woman who is “shaved down there”, to put it cleanly. A random character has to spy on her using the bathroom to confirm this fact. See what I mean about this being over the top?

As long as you can stomach the whole rapey aspect, this truly one of a kind samurai film is worth a look. No wonder it has the reputation it does in some circles of the Internet. I should watch the two sequels to see what further strangness they pull off. I'll be back Monday night.

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