American Psycho II: All American Girl

American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002)

Runtime: 88 LONG minutes

Directed by: Morgan J. Freeman

Starring: Mila Kunis, Geraint Wyn Davies, William Shatner, Robin Dunne, Lindy Booth

From: Lionsgate

Hey Mila.

If you’re wondering why in the world I would view a motion picture that has had a toxic reputation for the past 23 years… for some reason, recently I thought of the first American Psycho. There’s a film only seen once; shamefully I was a dumb yuppie who waited until 2 ½ years ago to finally see it… turns out, American Psycho is a great, dark satire of the 1980’s & consumerism as most people learned far before I did. There’s something I won’t live down; hopefully I can still get a reservation at Dorsia!

Of course, this “sequel” is a script originally with no connection to the first film whatsoever and due to the filmmaker of The Rules of Attraction not wanting to add a serial killer subplot to that film, Lionsgate decided to make this bad movie a “sequel” during filming. That required new scenes, including the opening… what an opening it was.

Mila Kunis is Rachael; at the age of 12, she is brought on a date w/ her babysitter; that’s already strange enough. Well, the date is with PATRICK BATEMAN and they’re tied up. She escapes after he (of course face obscured) murders the babysitter, and Rachael stabs Bateman! No one figures out who killed him. Um, what about Rachael’s parents? Shouldn’t they know… ah, forget it. The movie hopes you don’t examine that scene with any logic or deductive reasoning whatsoever. They especially don’t want you to think about their constant assertion that Patrick Bateman was a serial killer; those who’ve seen the first film will of course object to that for a variety of reasons.

Now 18, she’s in college; enrolled in a class relevant to her studies in acquiring her criminology degree, that class is taught by former FBI agent WILLIAM SHATNER. If she becomes his teaching assistant, she’s a shoe-in to the FBI academy. She decides to… kill the competition!

Yeah, this is bad. Some will be upset from hearing that someone’s cat is stuck in a microwave; no, the cat doesn’t die… that was done as a distraction but that image alone is probably too much for a least someone reading this review.

Even if this was just called All American Girl and had no ties to another movie, the film would be awful. The dialogue, the scenarios, the logic… all rotten. An epic meditation on intangibility, this is not. The music I guess is OK although it especially pales in comparison to anything from the Sports album, for example. The score was light and sounded like the intro to a modern true crime podcast; I guess this played up the “comedy” aspects although the movie wasn’t all that funny aside from some prime Shatner acting.

There was a scene involving someone looking for a condom which reminded me of one night during my college days… out partying one Saturday night, a random dude ran out of his apartment in only his boxers, asking me and the people I was with if we had any rubbers! Note that in the film, a dude is strangled by a condom; no, really.

American Psycho II: All American Girl does not have a clear, crisp plot or a new sheen of consummate professionalism that gives the story a bit boost. The picture is atrocious compared to the OG product; fans will be thoroughly insulted. Not even the kills are worthwhile if you attempt to find something redeeming about a movie that both Bret Easton Ellis and Kunis denounced.

There’s no need for you to even bother w/ All American Girl. Of course, I’m perplexed as to why Luca Guadalcanal is remaking this; I can’t wait for him to ruin the film the same that he ruined Suspirira w/ that God-awful remake, but that’s another story for another time.

28 Years Later

28 Years Later (2025)

88% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 391 reviews)

Runtime: 115 minutes

Directed by: Danny Boyle

Starring: Jodie Comer, Alfie Williams, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Edvin Ryding, Ralph Fiennes

From: Columbia

28 Years Later was a mixed bag; I know not everyone will be happy that my rating is lower than the norm on Letterboxd. An explanation will be provided for my opinions-note that it was still a motion picture liked by me. The three movies in the series released so far are all different from one another; that is refreshing these days even if Weeks is seen by many as a generic action-horror film.

Years follows a 12-year-old boy named Spike, who lives in an insulated island community; the only path appears during low tide. We accompany him as he explores the UK, isolated for 28 years due to the Rage Virus from the rest of the world. Yes, you could be unbearable like CinemaSins and nitpick the entire premise; I’m not an awful human being so this will not be done. Many movies have premises even more outlandish than an entire region being quarantined from the rest of the world due to a lethal virus for many years.

I can question some of the filmmaking decisions Danny Boyle made or how the Rage Virus mutated. The ending, it was just… bizarre. Unlike probably many Americans, solely due to a comment I heard that legit sounded like a gag or exaggeration from elsewhere, I knew what was being referenced by the group we see in the conclusion. It’s a disgraced figure every person from the UK would know due to their infamy. I’m a dumb Yankee who didn’t learn about him for a long while.

There is a documentary about him on the American version of Netflix yet there were probably even people in the UK that didn’t make the connection, as WHY would they reference that person? Of course, the upcoming film The Bone Temple will further elaborate upon this and hopefully address additional questions I had concerning Years. Let’s hope that isn’t being referenced for tasteless, tone-deaf reasons. All that stated, I still enjoyed that this had ambition (more than you can say about 28 Weeks Later) and for the movie’s sake, it was a blessing that Alfie Williams did a swell job as Spike, and there were nice performances from Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and an incredibly weathered-looking Ralph Fiennes.

Years told an interesting story, featuring some nice horror scenes. I’m cautiously optimistic about the next two films in this new trilogy. Will those movies have even more naked men? That was one of the many curious decisions made here.

Catch the Heat

Catch the Heat (1987)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: Joel Silberg

Starring: Tiana Alexandra-Silliphant, David Dukes, Rod Steiger, Professor Toru Tanaka, Jorge Martinez

From: Several companies in the United States and Argentina

Featuring characters named CINDERELLA PU, JASON HANNIBAL, DOZU, DANNY BOY, WALDO TARR, and CHECKERS GOLDBERG. Long ago I heard of this film; with names like that, how could it be forgotten? A brief respite before continuing watching horror films for the rest of October was needed. A Letterboxd mutual’s review a few days ago plus its availability on Prime made this an obvious choice.

It’s a standard low-budget B-action movie, for the most part. A Vietnamese lady and her white partner are federal agents, working in San Francisco; they investigate Rod Steiger (he’s Jason Hannibal), a talent agent in Argentina. She goes undercover as they work w/ Argentinian authorities to bust him. He uses dancers to smuggle drugs to the States… via breast implants filled w/ heroin instead of silicone!

Her undercover name is Cinderella Pu. If that isn’t absurd enough, this lady (Tiana Alexandra) is Checkers Goldberg! How did Stirling Silliphant come up with such a name? Yes, the dude who wrote The Enforcer, In the Heat of the Night and The Towering Inferno was the writer. Note that Ms. Alexander is also known as Tiana Alexandra-Silliphant… they were married many years before this film, to clarify.

The movie can easily be nitpicked if you so desire. An obvious issue is that you don’t want to think of the logistics or the logic of Hannibal’s scheme. Be that as it may, this movie was entertaining crap that could be enjoyed by 80’s B-action fans. There’s explosions, shootouts, a short chase involving a produce truck and dirt bike-where the former brushes alongside a car, it explodes in a fireball!-basic martial arts, and Professor Toru Tanaka as the expected “tough” character. In addition, there’s no shortage of practical action beats that are better than you might expect for a random low-budget thing you probably have never heard of before.

Much of the film was shot in Argentina (companies from the country were among the producers), providing a different backdrop between the building, the background locals, the Peugeot taxi cabs, etc. As her IMDb page and others on Letterboxd have noted, Ms. Alexandra has lived quite the life. The first female student of Bruce Lee, philanthropy and activism in her birth country of Vietnam, participating in plays, and so forth. She was a charming character, even when the Cinderella Pu guise was a stereotypical Chinese caricature that was deliberately awkward even by late 80’s standards.

The film’s not a must-see yet for genre fans, it might be worth a shot.

Happy Birthday, Curly Howard

This is an important note for me to post tonight. I'll post a review in a few minutes, then tomorrow I hope to have the time to catch up on everything.

Deathstalker (The New Reboot)

Deathstalker (2025)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Steven Kostanski

Starring: Daniel Bernhardt, Christina Orjalo, Paul Lazenby, Nicholas Rice, the voice of Patton Oswalt

From: Many different companies

Yes, they rebooted the cheesy 80’s sword-and-sandal franchise, and yes I got to see this theatrically. I finally watched the 1983 Deathstalker March of last year after hearing that Daniel Bernhardt (the actor/martial artist who can be seen in the John Wick and John Wick-adjacent universe) was rebooting the series… getting Slash (yes, THAT Slash) to be an executive producer, and most importantly for people like us, going the practical effects route. It’s in limited release since the 10th; in Orlando it was at a Regal Cinema so paying a ticket to check out the film was a hassle. However, now the movie is at an AMC-at Disney Springs-so the A-List app was used and I was hoping the movie would be for me… it was.

The plot description currently on Letterboxd describes the plot for the original film… that is NOT the plot for this movie. Sure, our hero Bernhardt is named Death Stalker and he unwittingly teams up w/ wacky companions on a hero’s journey while completing a task; otherwise, the reboot is completely different. He steals an amulet from a fallen knight; a curse is attached to him. With the help of a lady thief and a troll-like wizard voiced by Patton Oswalt, they combat foes who wish to bring back a powerful demon that will rule the world.

Yes, the movie is incredibly cheesy; goofy humor and silly moments should be expected—that was the intent. For those that love practical effects, gallons of gore, beheadings, matte paintings, tactile costumes, stop-motion animation, puppetry, creative creatures abound… you likely will enjoy the movie for that aspect alone. This unexpectedly will be on my Spooky Season list this year… there’s a sorceress, demons known as Dreadites, the aforementioned curse, scary-looking creatures, a scene of body horror… appropriate for this time of year. The action is good instead of great yet the 80’s vibes were rad, cool score included.

Apparently, I made an error in not viewing Deathstalker II before; from hearsay, that’s what this reboot was modeled after. II was deliberately silly & campy. Also, that apparently has a LOT of female nudity. The new film has no nudity whatsoever… but also no sexual assault, which I know the first film had and I’ve heard different stories on how much the second film has of that unfortunate element. In any event, this new picture is a comedy in a retro way instead of the insufferable modern comedy that’s the norm now.

The opportunity to witness Deathstalker 2025 on the big screen was an unexpected delight. Ideally, a charming movie like this will find the right audience via streaming.

 

The Brood

The Brood (1979)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: David Cronenberg

Starring: Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar (RIP), Art Hindle, Cindy Hines, Henry Beckman

From: A few different Canadian companies 

RIP Samantha Eggar

She’s a name I knew for years yet hardly any of her work has been seen. That wasn’t by design, of course. As The Brood was the most famous live-action film she did and somehow it wasn’t something tackled by me despite the high regard I hold David Cronenberg… there was no better way for me to tip my cap.

Even if I didn’t tell you that I learned from the Wiki article the film was written after Cronenberg went through a divorce, that probably would be apparent. The movie isn’t the most comfortable watch-besides the estranged status of the lead couple and their five-year-old daughter caught in the middle, there’s child abuse, mental illness, controversial therapy techniques from Oliver Reed… then there’s the attacks from what looked to be humanoid creatures.

Eggar is Nola, in a contentious relationship w/ Art Hindle. I don’t want to spoil much more. Eggar was sympathetic as someone who was traumatized by her childhood and struggles while sequestered in Reed’s controversial program. The cast as a whole does well, including Hindle as a stressed-out parent and Cindy Hinds as the daughter. However, Reed is menacing as the intense Hal Raglan, always looking dapper in stylish clothing yet his stare and his demeanor so powerful, anyone could quiver; there’s role-playing and he portrays either their mother or father. Him being called “Daddy” is especially creepy with modern context of that term.

The movie is wild, especially during the final act that contains several shocking moments. It’s a chilly Canadian winter-snowy landscapes, drab period interiors, bizarre happenings—in my canon, this takes place in the same universe as Scanners, the appearances are so similar. The violin-driven score from Howard Shore (his feature film debut) was also nice. From this, you can see how Cronenberg progressed onto his unforgettable 80’s films.

It’s a bold movie presented confidently. Also confident was Eggar’s performance, no matter the outrageous turns it took, especially during the finale. The assumption is that this is one the best ways I can tip my cap to the late performer.

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park!

Yes, I reviewed this infamous 1978 TV movie...

RIP Ace Frehley

At the end of the review I’ll explain how I once saw KISS in 2013 while paying a grand total of $4.80 for a ticket. Ace wasn’t a part of the band then so that’s not important to discuss now. What is important: I’ve enjoyed the band’s music for many years and Frehley as lead guitarist was a key component as to why. Phantom is a movie I’ve had as part of my collection for a long while (nevermind how) and the announcement of his death yesterday evening gave me the perfect excuse for entertainment last night when my Plan A for the evening went awry due to circumstances beyond my control.

This TV movie that debuted on NBC October 28 of 1978 is infamous due to its incredibly cheesy nature-I was not surprised as Hannah-Barbara were the producers. General silliness occurs at Six Flags Magic Mountain; it was nice viewing the attractions at an old theme park yet it was cornball acting even before the band appeared. There are greaser types named CHOPPER, SLIME and DIRTY DEE, after all. Anthony Zerbe portrayed a scientist named Abner Devereaux; of course he’s the villain who is a mad scientist that created androids and wants KISS androids to take over the world.

This is a like a worse version of a Scooby Doo episode-incredibly dopey, low-rent, inane. That said, it’s not just the concert footage that entertained me. The band shoots lasers out of their eyes, Gene growls like a lion, and other otherworldly powers are exhibited by the band! “Acting” isn’t one of their powers (yes, Gene got better later on) but I can say that the band’s evil android clones have the same powers, because of course. There’s talismans, robot creatures that look like a Brundlefly creation of cats, werewolves & monkeys, and other wackiness that helped me forget all the dull moments. The KISS-FU style of “martial arts” somehow never took off…

If you don’t like the band, there’s likely no reason for you to give this nonsense a chance. Me, I’m glad it’s a funny sort of bad, featuring several genre elements-including a chamber of horrors that featured the expected creatures. Today I did listen to some KISS songs-that is a better tribute to the late Ace Frehley than this goofball effort which at least made me laugh. It was also nice seeing Brion James as a security guard and the appearance of a wacky individual that always amuses me: THE REAL DON STEELE.

Not factoring into my rating but delighting me is that my copy was a taping of the original broadcast… yes, 1978 commercials! They included multiple ads set in a DISCO, the Wes Craven TV movie Stranger in Our House getting a plug, the AMC Spirit automobile, Iron Eyes Cody as “the crying Indian,” and a jaw-dropping ad concerning VENEREAL DISEASE, babies, & the usage of “the R word.”

Anyhow, I know KISS Army fans who also dug Ace’s solo stuff and when he led other bands; I feel especially bad for them. As for seeing KISS in 2013, they played in Orlando the night before the Arena Football League championship game; remember when arena football was a thing? Sad to say for a band that was once white-hot, the concert didn’t come close to selling out so a mate on Twitter noted that Ticketmaster had tickets for free. Of course, those evil #%@#@% still had their fees but even then I only paid $4.80 for a legendary act that still had Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley. The concert was a blast. Remembering that and hearing all those KISS songs for the first time way back when are nice memories to have now.