An Onslaught of Joe Besser

Space Ship Sappy: 

(Short # 178 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges) 

The Stooges go to outer space! UFO sightings and sci-fi B-movies were the rage in the 50’s; about time that our favorite trio jumped on that trend.

They are in the woods; despite Moe reading the results of the stock market, they are poor and living in the woods. They reply to a want ad, for sailors—it is actually to join a mad scientist and his attractive daughter on a rocket to the planet Sunev. The ship and effects are as cheesy as found in legit genre fare for the time. Unfortunately for them, “the planet is inhabited by cannibalistic Amazons!” That isn’t too wild compared to something like Cat Women from the Moon.

There’s some chuckles along the way but only a bit of slapstick and at least judging from memories of something viewed last in 2017, their 1959 feature film Have Rocket, Will Travel was more exciting, if not necessarily “better” on a rating scale. Larry references Elvis; far more obscure now was Joe mentioning 1956’s The Eddy Duchin Story; even I hadn’t heard of that film or Mr. Duchin, a pianist in the first half of the 20th century. Also amusing was briefly seeing a giant Gila Monster on Sunev, before The Giant Gila Monster was ever made.

For a premise rich w/ promise, Space Ship Sappy could and should have been better than just OK.

Guns A Poppin! 

(Short # 179 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

Sadly, even in this brief Joe Besser run, some of the shorts fall into the remake/stock footage category. That includes Guns, which is an inferior version of 1945’s Idiots Deluxe. That featured a trial where Moe beat up his pals; Moe has frayed nerves and it was exasperated due to Larry & Curly having “a two-man quartet.” The suggestion is made that they go to the country, where they engage in routines w/ a bear.

That is the same here. The first 2/3 is little-changed; Moe’s stress is now due to financial issues. They still go out to the country and have that run-in with the canis ursus. The last third randomly involves a sheriff in a shootout w/ a bandit. Like I’ve said often, there are some chuckles although the original is better. The new subplot is juvenile yet I didn’t hate it. 

However, it just feels tired next to Idiots Deluxe. I can’t get too mad at Moe, Larry, or even Joe; Columbia was the last studio doing these short subjects before feature films, the budgets constantly went down and they likely knew this was the beginning of the end. There’s only 11 more after Guns, after all. There are worse ones after this, believe me.

Horsing Around:  

(Short # 180 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

One of the worst Three Stooges shorts ever! The other candidate often mentioned by fans of the trio hasn’t been reviewed by me yet but that’ll be coming later in the month and it’s one I’m not looking forward to as it's unseen as of now. This is a rare sequel in this universe; somehow, despite the ending of Hoofs and Goofs, they thought it a good idea to continue that story of the boys having a sister reincarnated as a horse, and with a foal.

Aside from a chuckle or two, this was just dreadful. Turns out, Birdie the horse has a mate named Schnapps… a circus horse who is injured and about to be destroyed! If that isn’t morbid enough, they don’t have a car yet they are able to rent a wagon so the boys have their sister literally drag them around. The biggest sin aside from the comedy being as lame as Schnapps is that there’s a leisurely pace to them attempting to prevent the horse’s death. I wouldn’t think there would be time for a lunch break, but what do I know?

Emil Sitka is present but when he can barely make me smile in a role… there are lesser versions of gags from the past. Gone is the mayhem from the glory days. There’s no need to ever give this (or Hoofs and Goofs, for that matter) a shot unless you’re a completionist like myself.

Rusty Romeos: 

(Short # 181 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

The Stooges are in love… unknown to them, to the same woman. This is a remake featuring stock footage-of 1952’s Corny Casanovas. After Larry makes pancakes & they fix a Davenport sofa-both as bungled as you’d expect-they all go to their girlfriends to propose marriage. What misery for them when they discover it’s the same gal… a gold-digger named Mabel who wants their engagement rings. 

Of course, Casanovas is better, yet—despite this not rating high even in the category of “Joe Besser Stooge Shorts” this was one I liked. The new footage seemed to match the old stuff alright-only belied by the different film grain… and oh yeah, the one old bit where Shemp’s photo is on a stand instead of Joe’s as the director didn’t want to film the bit again and thought that viewers wouldn’t notice. I won’t get too mad about it.

More importantly for me, the new moments are funny-from the opening where Moe and Larry are dreaming while sleeping in the same bed w/ Joe to the ending that is a callback to an earlier gag-and several Letterboxd reviewers have noted-to Joe uttering some funny puns. Maybe he’s not as bad in this brief era as many people have proclaimed through the decades… this is an acceptable four-hander, with Connie Cezan providing chuckles herself, both in new and old footage.

Outer Space Jitters: 

(Short # 182 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

The Stooges go to the planet Sunev again… they just reused that name as “Venus spelled backwards” joke from Space Ship Sappy was “so good” it had to be used again. This time, Emil Sitka willingly takes the trio to Sunev to meet the residents of the planet; what great ambassadors to represent Earth!

The sets and costumes look straight out of a cheap 50’s sci-fi picture; sadly, this was just lame… not exciting, not that funny, weird nonsensical gags, old bits that aren’t as funny here, and the continuation of an unfortunate trend where there’s already been more than one Besser short that’s had a groan-worthy ending. 

The only other noteworthy detail is that the human-looking aliens of the planet have a giant scary-looking creature; that is played by Dan Blocker, identified as “Don Blocker” in the opening credits. He was a big dude best known for portraying Hoss Cartwright in the popular Western TV show Bonanza, on from ’59 through ’73. Both my parents watched it in their youth. If you must see Besser in outer space, even Sappy was better than this tired effort which had a few smirk-worthy moments that saved this from being totally worthless.

Quiz Whizz: 

(Short # 183 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

Despite the title, this short is not solely devoted to the wackiness of Joe Besser somehow winning a prize on one of those TV quiz shows popular in the 50’s… and also infamous—see Robert Redford’s 1994 film Quiz Show for an explanation. Rather, Joe is ripped off right after winning. Long story short, this is mostly about the trio pretending to be children for an eccentric millionaire. That’s just like 1941’s All the World’s a Stooge. That was bizarrely funny; here, three old men pretending to be children is just absurd.

This is not as good as All the World’s a Stooge; yet, it is OK which means I can’t carp too hard about it when in the midst of the Joe Besser era. Montgomery M. Montgomery is the rich dude’s name, and his secretary is Greta Thyssen, Miss Denmark 1952 who was a shapely blonde so of course Hollywood attempted to make her the next Marilyn Monroe. Didn’t quite work out, but at least she has the notoriety of appearing w/ the Stooges on three occasions, including their last-ever short at Columbia.

This does have the Montgomery & his secretary attempting to kill the trio for the insurance money and Joe eating cigars before his face turns white w/ sickness (don’t ask) so that plus some chuckles means I can’t get too terribly upset at Whizz. Plus, this was the only time Harold Brauer appeared w/ Besser. He and Emil Sitka-also here, briefly-are the only two that worked alongside Curly, Shemp, Joe, and Curly Joe.

Fifi Blows Her Top: 

(Short # 184 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

It’s the return of stock footage/remake time. This uses clips from 1950’s Love at First Bite; that concerned Moe, Larry, & Shemp reminiscing about long-lost loves while in the military. Then, Shemp got blotto drunk and chaos occurred. In Fifi, the setup is the same; Joe’s gal was the titular Fifi. She was portrayed by Vanda Dupre, i.e. Wanda Ottoni. She only has a few acting credits total and probably is best known for being married to character actor Jack Warden for decades. 

Perhaps this is generous on my part and perhaps I’m comparing it to the rest of the Joe era. However, I found this to be fine. The stock footage from Moe and Larry is acceptable while the new material has enough wacky moments and puns to make me chuckle at least a few times. Unlike in Bite, Fifi just happens to move across the hall from their apartment. It’s not a happy reunion, though, as she’s married to an abusive lout named Mort, played by Philip Van Zandt.

Van Zandt was in more than a dozen Shemp & Joe shorts. Regrettably, he took his own life between the filming of Fifi Blows Her Top & its release. As it’s too sad a postscript, I’ll instead mention that Fifi does blow her top at hearing Mort’s hateful comments he made when he doesn’t know when she’s within earshot. That is a nice ending.

Pies and Guys: 

(Short # 185 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

A review had to be posted today; October 22 is the birthday of Jerome Horwitz, a.k.a. Curly Howard. Sometime during the day I’ll have to see a few shorts of his to pay tribute; in the past I’ve waxed poetic over what a great performer he was and what a treat it was to talk about him earlier this year when I started this long journey that only has a few left before its completion.

This is a remake of 1947’s Half-Wits Holiday, which ironically was Curly’s last effort before his poor health forced a retirement. There’s also stock footage used in the conclusion-yes, another pie fight. At least it’s the last one I’ll see. The plot’s another Pygmalion scenario: a pair of professors wager a bet… one believes he can transform the uncouth handymen Stooges into gentlemen. That goes as well as you’d expect.

Neither this nor Holiday compare to Hoi Polloi, the first attempt in this universe to tell that tale. That said, both the old and new moments still made me chuckle. Joe Besser drinks milk from a saucer, pushing kittens out of the way to do so! Yes, he did amuse me; while he’s hit or miss, Besser’s reputation and what I saw before this year expected me to dislike him far more once I finally saw all he did in this universe. It can be argued that the pacing here sometimes was better than in Holiday.

By the by, the professor attempting to civilize the Stooges: Milton Frome. Some will know him either for his time on the Milton Berle show in the 50’s, The Beverly Hillbillies in the 60’s, or many different Jerry Lewis films.

If you have to see something w/ Besser, this is not the worst choice. Meanwhile, Happy Birthday, Curly Howard.