Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Last Action Hero

Last Action Hero (1993)

Runtime: 131 incredibly long minutes

Directed by: John McTiernen, a director whose films I usually at least like

Starring: Arnold, Austin O'Brien, and MANY famous faces

From: Columbia

This is a movie you'd think I would love, but... I never have, whether it be in a hotel room where I saw it with the rest of my family sometime in '94 (hopefully it was on HBO as I'd feel bad if my parents paid money to have us see it as a family! None of us liked it, I do remember that), as a young adult long ago or finally my final-ever viewing of the movie last night, via Netflix. 30 years since this came out and was a flop both critically and commercially, I know that many (including here on Letterboxd) think this is a gem and find it to be great. I'll explain why I do NOT feel this way.

Even in '94 at first viewing, I had seen my share of famous 80's action films, and likely some of the more ludicrous ones also... yeah, it is a Venn diagram. However, then and now, this is just WAY too over the top and stupid for me to think that this is any good. Sure, all the famous faces are neat and all, the rock soundtrack is bitchin' & there are some laughs to be had. However, I imagine the original script from Zak Penn and Adam Leff (two young adults who had just graduated university when they wrote the screenplay) was better; I know it's online somewhere but I do know that while they did have the idea for a kid to enter an 80's action movie, there was none of “Harry Houdini's magic ticket” nonsense. 

The constant carping from the kid about how he's in a movie and trying to convince Jack Slater of this fact... it gets old for me rather quickly. Honestly, what a gigantic mess this was that seem to condemn AND praise the genre at the same time. It will forever be exhausting and even knowing more about The Seventh Seal, Olivier's Hamlet, F. Murray Abraham, the idea of “meta” in entertainment and many in-jokes as an adult that went over my head as a kid, Last Action Hero is something I'd rather forget about.

Honestly, the behind the scenes drama was far more interesting than the movie itself. There was such a rush to start the movie in November '92 after a brief pre-production then finish it so it could come out a week after Jurassic Park (a gigantic mistake, in hindsight) in the summer of '93 that they left in all sorts of film flubs AND actually made a contest out of viewers spotting them all-I swear this was true... and there's so much more lore if you really look into it. There was a disastrous test screening, plenty of hubris from studio heads, and other details I won't bore you with. At least Penn got a career after this turkey, of course writing several early Marvel movies along with Ready, Player One and other big titles.

Many feel differently from me but I'll stand with my convictions that this is a disappointment which squanders a promising idea.

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