If I Had a Million

If I Had a Million (1932)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: 8 directors! This was an anthology, you see

Starring: The highlights include W.C. Fields, Gary Cooper, Charles Laughton, George Raft, Charles Ruggles, and May Robson

From: Paramount

Yes, this is a comedic/dramatic anthology picture from 1932. Included as part of Criterion Channel’s Pre-Code Paramount collection, the curious idea of seeing various Paramount stars of a time in an anthology did intrigue. The overall effort does not rise above being “fine” but the idea of a kooky rich old guy on his deathbed giving away 7 million dollars to 7 random people out of the phonebook--it’s a swell idea. If only the guy wouldn’t have been an annoying old grump. Considering that W.C. Fields was present as a funny old grump…

There are various segments from seven credited directors, Ernst Lubitsch the most famous name. A shame then that his effort (featuring Charles Laughton) was less than 3 minutes long; each bit was a different length, for better or for worse. Some I would have preferred longer, to be frank. In less than 90 minutes I saw everything from a clumsy man in a China shop who might was well have been a bull and a barroom prostitute (remember, Pre-Code) to a mean woman getting her comeuppance and Fields as someone who hates “road hogs.”

As always in an anthology, each mini-story varies in quality and which one(s) you prefer is up to you. Even with some segments not finished or deleted, many famous faces were present: Gary Cooper, Charles Laughton, George Raft, Charles Ruggles, May Robson, Wynne Gibson, Gene Raymond, Jack Oakie, and Roscoe Karns, among others. Furthermore, several of the stories were written by Joseph L. Mankiewicz.

It was best as a curio although if nothing else, many of us can appreciate a millionaire’s altruistic intentions; of course, in real life it’d be more ideal if he gave his dough to poor people he knew needed it the most… then again, during the Great Depression I’m sure audiences were happy to see fortune shine on some lucky individuals.