Friday, August 4, 2017

Delgo

Delgo (2008)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Marc F. Adler/Jason Maurer

Starring: Plenty of familiar names, as I'll list below

From: Electric Eye Entertainment Corporation/Fathom Studios

Believe it or not, I've seen this computer-animated movie once before; how I saw it the first time was amazing, as I'll explain below: 

Would you believe that I once saw this movie in the middle of December, 2008 at a drive-in? Yes, there are still some of those around, including Florida. I watched it at the Silver Moon in Lakeland, which has been around for more than 60 years. I haven't been there for a few years but I usually look each week to see what is on their two screens. What they pair together is sometimes pretty random but this is the only time they were off the wall... what I saw Delgo with, no one possibly could predict: PUNISHER: WAR ZONE*. I swear this actually happened. The only thing those two have in common besides those being feature-length motion pictures is that both bombed at the box office.

The plot is incredibly generic: bipedal lizard creatures exist in a world with humanoids that sport wings. Of course it is a Romeo & Juilet thing with star-crossed lovers (voiced by Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt) who have a forbidden romance amongst war a-brewing again between the two sides. Anne Bancroft is the main villain; note that she passed away in early 2005 and like I said, I saw this in late 2008. John Vernon has a brief voice cameo and he also passed away in 2005. They started making this in 2001! That explains who they had as the two leads. Various calamities happened which caused it to have such a long production cycle, plus of course it's an independent production too. The computer animation is better than in Foodfight or one of those bizarre foreign CG animation movies that are out there, but Pixar or Dreamworks or Illumination have nothing to fear.

I wish an independent production would be better but the story is not all that exciting (no wonder why I barely remembered any of it), you'll be reminded of many other-and better-films, and even worse, it's as if entire scenes are missing; cohesive storytelling this is not. By far the worst sin is Delgo's sidekick Filo; think “Jar Jar Binks, except far worse” and you get the idea. It was incredibly accurate voice casting if the character was supposed to be so aggravating it makes your skin crawl... Chris Kattan is the one who states its incredibly inane dialogue and blubbers like its mentally handicapped. A shame this isn't better, as it has some decent messages and look at who provides voices besides the people I already mentioned: Burt Reynolds, Eric Idle, Lou Gossett, Jr., Val Kilmer, Malcolm McDowell, Michael Clarke Duncan... I wish I could have seen a live-action movie with those people.

This isn't so heinous or inappropriate for children that I'd be offended if my 4 year old twin nephews saw it-which is more than what I can say about something like Foodfight or the infamous The Emoji Movie-but between feature length films and shorts, CG or traditional animation, there is no shortage of product for children to see for the first time or come back to that is more worth their while than this dippy motion picture.

* In the future I'll give that gonzo movie a better review; even with it being amazingly over the top, War Zone is still something I dig.

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