South Beach

South Beach (a.k.a. Night Caller) (1993)

Runtime: 88 minutes (that's the copy I saw, anyhow)

Directed by: Fred Williamson/Alain Zaloum

Starring: Fred Williamson, Gary Busey, Peter Fonda, Vanity, Sam J. Jones (yes, the '80 Flash Gordon)

From: Po' Boy Productions

Note that the bones of this review are what I posted on Letterboxd earlier today but I've expanded on it for here.

I'll be honest, I was on Letterboxd last night & I was buzzed from consuming some alcoholic beverages. I decided to look through Williamson's films and I saw this poster and as there was Busey, I decided to do some investigating and I saw the cast and I was like, YES, I had to see this. Besides the people I mentioned, there was Isabel Sanford, Stella Stevens, Robert Forster, and even Henry Silva. 

I was able to find it not on YouTube but another streaming video site. I know, it's not completely ethical but this is so obscure...

I started watching and for about the first 10 minutes I thought this would get rated real highly by me. You see a bad guy harass a female phone sex operator and he's in a filthy apartment with cockroaches and some crushed cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. The Hammer-who has the awesome name of MACK DERRINGER-later drinks a can of PBR, which I thought was great. Then you see Williamson and Busey (they are a pair of private investigators) on a golf course and it's hilarious. Busey is at his Busey-est and wow. From how he warms up to him yelling HEY, his golf shoes being sneakers to sticking a golf club between his legs in a phallic manner... LOL is my reaction.

There's a duel plot of a psycho (played by Flash Gordon, Sam J. Jones!) going after the ex-wife of The Hammer (she was played by Vanity and believe it or not you do NOT see her tatas; you do see the boobs of another girl, though) & Fred has to go after the Mob for their attempted shakedown of some business owners. The two don't really intersect and unfortunately, by the end things become REAL confused and even now I can't adequately explain all that happened; it wasn't the booze that clouded things, either. Things did not look to be fully resolved, I know that much. I also know it's quite a mess.

Besides the befuddlement, there's how some of the stars listed have glorified cameos (Silva only appears in one scene, unfortunately), Busey having more deus ex machina moments than are present in The Expendables 2 (I love that film but it's a legit criticism) and too much of the movie was filmed in the dark with improper lighting so things can be real hard to see.

Still, I give it an average rating as its ineptness can be rather funny. There's also such material as Peter Fonda with a long ponytail and a huge mustache, Isabel Sanford in a wheelchair escaping a bad guy by stabbing him in the leg with a bobby pin, and everything that Busey does. Oh My God I swear he was high as a kite the entire time and he improv'ed everything. He laughs like Pee Wee Herman, grossly refers to a woman as a SLUTPUPPY, and calls Peter Fonda a TURNIP HEAD. If someone put together a 10 minute video of this movie's highlights it'd be awesome, but alas... at least this random discovery wasn't a total waste of time.

I shall return early tomorrow night, hopefully with another movie to review. I'll be staying sober tonight, though.