Saturday, November 24, 2012

Malibu Express



Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: Darby Hinton, Sybil Danning, Art Metrano, Shelley Taylor Morgan

From: Malibu Bay Films

Here's the first film in a set of movies I got awhile back but hadn't tried to start watching until last night. It is part of Girls, Guns & G-Strings: The Andy Sidaris Collection which you can find online at Amazon for only a few bucks. The late Mr. Sidaris directed various sports programs then made some random films before deciding here to create direct to video films set and filmed in sunny locales featuring plenty of busty women, almost all of whom take off their tops and expose their bare breasts. That's most important of all, even more so than story or acting ability; there seemed to always be a few Playmates who appear in this films.

The plot, as is: Cody Abilene (Hinton; he played Daniel Boone's kid on the 60's TV show of the same name) is a private investigator. He is asked by a Countess who is also involved with a computer company (Danning; not surprisingly, she is one of the ladies who exposes her boobs) to investigate what's going on with the theft of computer secrets to “The Soviets”. What ends up happening is a busy case of wacky individuals, from a fey guy who ends up being a cross-dresser to two muscle-bound thugs. Other characters appear who apparently are only there to pad the run time, like a stereotypical band of hillbillies who always want to race Cody on the streets.

On a technical scale, the movie isn't great. The pacing seems off and I often got the feeling that it wasn't edited the best. The story is actually complex and even when the last few minutes of the movie are someone explaining all of the events, it doesn't always make sense. More time was spent on showing how many ladies find Cody to be arousing. More than a dozen different women end up exposing their breasts! No kidding. One of the women who go topless has the name JUNE KHNOCKERS. Yes, that's how it was spelled. That says a lot about what sort of film this is.

Yet, while there isn't a lot of action (I have heard the later movies he did had more of that) it is still a rather entertaining movie for the goofy lark it is. The hero-who drives a red DeLorean and carries around a cowskin case!-is a flawed hero; while he has a .44, his aim is terrible and it's rare for him to successfully hit anything. Danning and Metrano have small roles but as well-known actors don't always appear in Sidaris's films, their contributions are noted. It's a comedy/action/mystery sort of thing and it usually is funny. That makes it an easy watch. The boobs help out too! It's not high art for sure but it is fun to watch if you want to shut off your brain one rainy afternoon or evening. It's not painful at all; you should enjoy all the goofy moments and how Mr. Sidaris has a small appearance as a dude who drives a big RV with his wife.

So overall I am glad I finally saw one of his films. I've known about them for many years and it was about time. I'll be back Monday night.

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