Saturday, April 9, 2011

Oh, And...

I didn't mention it in the last thing I posted, but I'll be posting a new review tomorrow night.

It won't be of a Sidney Lumet film (RIP), but soon I will review one of his movies.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Movies and Cable Strangeness, Oh My

Before I mention what was on those old as dirt VHS tapes that I talked about recently, here are some real brief comments on a pair of movies I saw recently via them appearing on TCM Underground.

I didn't see all of it, but I watched Ghoulies, a ridiculously cheesy 80's film from low-budget master Charles Band. It's just not a good film. But, it did produce a scene I saw which left me in disbelief: a dorky and strange white guy breakdanced!

Yes, it's true.

And yeah, the brunette is actually a young Mariska Hargitay, in a role I'm sure she doesn't brag about. But wow, that scene will never fail to make me laugh.

The second movie is The Boogens, which I had heard good things about. Well, if it wasn't for characters that were really grating and annoying, then maybe I would have enjoyed it; but alas... the creatures were like rabid turtles, believe it or not.

Now, to copy and paste from elsewhere... the first tape had on it Sharky's Machine, then Thief, then Ordinary People.

After the credits for Sharky's Machine ended but before Thief began, there was a brief promo for something called "The Shogun Warriors: Gaiking", and it was ID'ed as "Animated Space Thriller", and I had no clue what in the shit it was. Turns out, it sounds like some old anime with giant robots; think Transformers or Power Rangers.

After Thief ended, there was the final 2 or so minutes of some celebrity interview show. Mark Hamill was the guest on there. After that, it was stated that coming up was Ordinary People, then something called Aerobicise. I was flummoxed as to why Showtime would be showing some exercise show.

Well, was I in for a shock.

I fast-forwarded to the end of Ordinary People, as I figured there would be a few minutes left on the tape before it ended. I was correct, and much to my surprise, I found out what Aerobicise was.

Basically, it was a few "exercises" in a half-hour block, and they even had a long warning in the beginning about being careful with doing these exercises, but it was obviously a soft-core sort of thing!

I managed to find one of the two segments that I saw before the tape ended.

But I am pissed I can't find the second segment I watched. THAT is totally WTF worthy. It's a "cooldown" with a guy and girl. Both are wearing the same unitard! It starts out and you can't make out what it is yet, but once you do, it looks as if the girl is giving the guy a BJ as they're spread-legged facing each other. She gets up, and they do some sort of synchronized routine. You then see that the guy looks almost exactly like Kenny Loggins... if he wore eye-liner. It's so preposterous, I can't believe it's not online, like many clips of Aerobicise are.

It turns out that one of those clips appeared in the 4th Friday the 13th movie; it was watched by that sleazy doctor Axel, remember.

The second tape had The Deer Hunter then Excalibur on it, and the third the strange trio of Bonnie & Clyde, Peggy Sue Got Married, then Ishtar.

The second tape had Deer Hunter and Excalibur. Before the Cimino film, there was an ad for the various shows that Showtime had on as original programming. Holy Christ, they looked SO low-rent and rinky-dink, as if it was public-access quality. Dexter and Californication, they are not; it's not even the same stratosphere. I do have to note that one show was entitled THE SHAFT OF LOVE, and it didn't look to be an adults-only program. In fact, it's a soap opera spoof, of all things.

After the first movie, there was free time before the second. I saw ads for the likes of Student Bodies, Shogun Assassin, and greatest of all, The Burning.

I saw some clips of Excalibur, and "what a wacky-looking movie" was my main impression, but one of these days I will watch it.

After that, there's quite a bit of free time; for some reason, that VHS tape was more like 7 hours on SLP rather than 6. So anyhow, they actually showed a music video, and much to my amusement, it's Donald Fagen (the lead singer of Steely Dan) and New Frontier. It's a Steely Dan-esque jazzy sort of tune about possible nuclear war. I'm not afraid to admit I like the song anyway, and I've seen the music video for it on YouTube before, but it was still an amusing thing to see. I had no idea they even showed music videos way back when.

After that, it was advertising some upcoming programs, including a RYAN O'NEAL DOUBLE FEATURE of Partners and So Fine. Partners looks like a comedy version of Cruising!

After that, it cut out before returning to what I presume was parts of Quest of Fire, before the tape ended. I've never seen that either, but it just looks so damn strange. I did notice one moment where it sure looks like one of the native guys gets a hummer from a chick!

The third tape was even less eventful. Not too much was on it at all. I can say it was from late '88 and was taped off of Cinemax. The first movie was Bonnie & Clyde. After that it went almost immediately into Peggy Sue Got Married. While fast-forwarding, I discovered that even back 25 years ago, Nic Cage had some awful hair pieces. After that, I saw some cheesy ads and graphics. Not too interesting, although I also saw the end credits for some Cinemax TV show called Norman's Corner, and it meant having to see (and hear) a young Gilbert Gottfried. What a sight that was. I did laugh that they advertised that coming soon was the famous misfire known as Walker.

Before the last movie, Ishtar, started, they had a "behind the scenes" deal with Overboard, of all films. After the other famous misfire, the tape pretty much ended there. Disappointing.

So yeah, I should have bought all the tapes that guy was offering for only 20 bucks, as it would have meant seeing some 80's strangeness on the premium cable channels back in the coke-fueled 80's.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Sharky's Machine

Sharky’s Machine (1981)

Runtime: 122 minutes

Directed by: Burt Reynolds

Starring: Burt (but of course), Vittorio Gassman, Brian Keith, Bernie Casey, Rachel Ward

From: Warner Brothers/Orion


Here’s a movie that I’ve seen once before, but I managed to watch again recently, and in a rather strange way. The first time I saw it, it was a DVD rental from the local library, of all places. This time, I saw it on a VHS tape… almost as old as I am! Way back in ’08, I was at a flea market north of Leesburg. It was in order to see a wrestling show; I know, appropriate entertainment for a small flea market. Well, at one table I stumbled upon a bunch of old VHS tapes of stuff tabled off of premium cable. It just happened to mainly be stuff from the 80’s, meaning tapes almost as old as I am. I picked out 3 that featured films I mainly had not seen before. I was offered his entire collection for 20 bucks. I declined, as I had seen or already owned a good amount of those movies already. In hindsight, I F’ed up, but I’ll explain why in another post coming up in a few days.

So, it was finally a few days ago that I actually watched something from one of those tapes, and it was this film. The sound wasn’t the best, but the picture looked surprisingly good considering I believe it was taped sometime in ’83.

To sum it up, I understand this borrows a lot from the 40’s film Laura (which I haven’t seen) and this was Burt’s try at becoming Dirty Harry. It didn’t quite work out. Basically, it’s the story of the greatly named Tom Sharky, a cop in Atlanta- a town you get to see big sweeping shots of throughout the film-who has things go wrong in a drug bust, so he gets demoted to vice squad; he meets a wacky group of characters, including Charles Durning, who acts like SUCH a cartoon angry yelling asshole, it’s insulting to your intelligence. Anyhow, Sharky and some of his pals (they’re known as his Machine; I don’t know if it’s like baseball pitcher Brian Wilson and his Machine or not; if you don’t know what I’m referring to, it’s probably for the best) stumble upon a case that involves both a crime kingpin-Gassman, trying his best to look like old-school Sean Connery-and a candidate for Governor of the state (Earl Holliman). A high-class prostitute named Dominoe (Ward, looking rather attractive) is also part of the deal.

Overall, this movie COULD have been cool and a classic. But, it’s just too damn long. There are some time where it really drags. There’s odd moments of humor. There seems to be too much crammed into the story. And, like I said already Charles Durning had a character that was such a ridiculous caricature of an angry cantankerous cop. It’s a turn-off.

But, it’s not awful. There’s a big stunt fall at the end; sure, much of the actual stunt done wasn’t featured in the movie (instead it’s replaced by an obvious dummy). There’s such things as some Japanese people who are apparently ninjas, a scene set at the old Atlanta Braves ballpark, Fulton County Stadium –why, I don’t know-a jazzy score, fingers being cut off, and Henry Silva as a drug-abusing killer who loves to yell a lot. Yet, with all that it's still boring at times. Figures.

I'll be back Monday night with a discussion over some of the strange stuff I've found on those ancient VHS tapes.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Night With Burt Reynolds & Smokey and the Bandit

Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Hal Needham

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleason

From: Universal


Now, here’s a 70’s film I’ve seen many times before throughout the years, but never on the big screen, and never quite like this.

Turner Classic Movies this month has done a deal where they go to 10 different cities and with a free pass printed out online, you can watch a classic movie on the big screen with an actor from the movie getting interviewed by a TCM host. The other 9 cities got more prestigious pictures, but Tampa got this movie (fitting, really) and the special guest star was Burt Reynolds. As it was being held in the Tampa Theatre-a joint I never visited before but I knew was huge-I figured there would be a lot of people willing to see Burt and the film live. I was correct.

I got there 2 hours before they started letting people in, and as I figured there was already a good-sized line. Overall, in a building that I hear has almost1,500 seats, many of them were filled. Some people got there in the late morning to wait in line! Me waiting for 2 hours to get in doesn’t seem so bad in comparison. There were many hardcore fans there.. to the point that people dressed as The Bandit and some ladies wore wedding veils. LARP’ing at this movie!

You can get a recap of what happened by reading this article, but I’ll try to be brief. Burt didn’t live up to his alleged reputation of not being the nicest person. He was on his best behavior here during the interview, and he got a great reception from the audience. They also loved the movie, laughing at all the funny moments/dialogue and cheering on the action. It was definitely a great way to see this flick.

The movie is not high art by any means (you don’t want to spend too much time thinking logically about the plot) but it’s definitely crowd-pleasing and you enjoy all of the characters, so that’s why it’s so beloved and was only out-grossed in ’77 by a little film called Star Wars. It’s a simple tale where The Bandit and Snowman have to go from Georgia to Texarkana, Texas and back to pick up a crapload of Coors Beer (back when Coors wasn’t sold out East); The Bandit finds a runaway bride, so the father of the groom, the gruff good old boy Buford T. Justice (Gleason, in a great performance) goes after him. I’m sure you know the rest, as I presume most people have seen this already. If not, check it out.

As Burt himself noted at the screening, it was good clean fun as while cops crash their cars, none of them ever got hurt. So, you can’t hate the movie; it’s just a lot of fun. The second and third movies, though… feel free to hate those crap films.

I’ll be back on Friday night, but that’s no April Fool’s joke.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Taxi Driver

Taxi Driver (1976)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Of course, Martin Scorsese

Starring: Robert De Niro, Albert Brooks, Cybill Shepherd, Jodie Foster

From: Columbia


Here’s the first of a two-part deal where I was fortunate to watch a pair of famous 70’s films on the big screen. I watched this on Tuesday night; AMC Theatres showed it on that night and Saturday night at various locations across the country. I went to Altamonte Springs to check it out. Believe it or not, I had never seen this movie before aside from some brief moments.

I’ll admit something right off the bat: I know it’ll be considered blasphemous to many, but I’ve only seen a few of Scorsese’s movies, and while I rank very highly Casino and especially Goodfellas, Mean Streets did nothing for me at all and Raging Bull just left me cold. As for this movie…

I’m sure you know the general plot but to be brief, the movie is about Vietnam War vet Travis Bickle (De Niro, delivering a tremendous performance) who lives in New York City. He’s an insomniac so he decides to work for a taxi company at nights, and he runs into a wide variety of (usually) seedy people. He gets disgusted with those types. He also meets up with Betsy (Shepherd) and a young child prostitute, Iris (Foster), who has Harvey Keitel as a pimp… and oh, what a pimp he is. He sports long black hair and dresses in ridiculous 70’s clothing. His role is small but it took a lot of effort to me not to laugh at his appearance. Anyhow, it all builds up to when Bickle snaps and he loses control and goes on a rampage.

As for what I liked about the movie, there’s the performances. As I already mentioned, Robert does a great job as Travis. You can clearly see him slowly but surely snap. The other cast members also do a commendable job. The setting of a run-down New York City is done well. There’s enough tension, the score works well with the film, and there are some very memorable shots, and I’m talking about with the cinematography, and not with Bickle shooting firearms.

However, with that said, I can’t say I ended up really liking the film in the end. The plot was just structured weird for me, and it seemed to meander at times. I didn’t really need to see an ultra-annoying Scorsese have a small role in the movie as a guy who wants to kill his wife for cheating on him, for example. But, it’s the final 20 or so minutes that really turned me off.

I don’t like to go spoiler-heavy here, but in this case I have to. A lot of time is spent building up Bickle snapping and going on a rampage. So he does one day. He shaves his hair into a Mohawk (because it looks cool, I guess) and he tries to assassinate the presidential candidate Betsy works for. Why… because Betsy ended up turning him down due to his poor way with the ladies? I suppose so. Travis fails in a spectacular manner but he’s able to get away without getting spotted. He then goes after the people responsible for Iris being a child prostitute. That’s definitely violent and all (so much so that Marty had to desaturate the film so that all the blood wasn’t so bright, or some such thing to allow it not to be cut; it’s definitely graphic, but the look of those moments is just distracting as the film then looks so different from the rest) but then I was stunned when he wasn’t killed by the cops that showed up, but instead survives and shows up again with a head full of hair and he has a happy meeting with Betsy. What?

Yeah, I know after the fact that there have been several interpretations of the final moments, including it was a dream… that said, how the final 20 minutes turned out and the odd plotting didn’t light my world on fire, to say the least. I’d rather stick with Goodfellas or Casino than watch this again. At least those movies didn’t have what look to be a manufactured and contrived “happy ending” to a downbeat story.

I’ll be back Saturday afternoon with a special recap/review of the night I had in Tampa on Wednesday.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Children

The Children (2008)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: Tom Shankland

Starring: Eva Birthistle, Stephen Campbell Moore, Jeremy Sheffield, Rachel Shelley, Hannah Tointon

From: Protagonist Pictures


Here’s another movie released by Ghost House Underground in the United States, but this one was made in the good old United Kingdom. It is one of those “killer kids” film a la Orphan, the first movie I reviewed here and I really dug that.

Like with that aforementioned film, this is set in a snowy setting out in the woods. In this case, it’s a middle of nowhere place somewhere in England. One family joins up with another out at their house (the two moms are sisters) and there’s a whole menagerie of kids, including a teenage girl-Casey-who is made up to look like Amber Tamblyn (not a bad thing, I say) and dresses up like Avril Lavigne. She’s the moody teenager type. Both sets of parents are rich stuck-up types who don’t have much in the way of street sense. That causes problems when the young kids start getting sick and then… the fit hits the shan, so to speak. The children turn evil; no explanation is given for what’s going on, which makes it all the creepier. It turns out that Casey is the only sane one of the bunch, so not only does she have to deal with kids that are out of control, but also their panicked parents.

I managed to hear of Hannah Tointon before, despite being a dumb American. Some photos of her were posted on a messageboard I sometimes frequent. If you look her up, she’s rather attractive, to say the least. Even in this movie, made up to be Goth, she’s easy on the eyes, in my opinion. But, that has nothing to do with me saying that she delivered a quality performance here in a tough role as someone who gets yelled at and gets some emotional AND physical abuse. She did a nice job in carrying the film.

It is a movie that does a great job in the delicate balance between being very suspenseful and tense and also showing off some gore; what gore you see is pretty graphic and it’s effective. But, it’s mainly about the suspense and it’s tense for most of its runtime. I found it to be pretty creepy that the kids did what they did, and the parents couldn't deal with the situation. I think it's a horror movie worth tracking down.

I'll be back Thursday night with a review of a classic 70's movie that's playing on the big screen, and it's something people will likely be shocked that I haven't seen yet.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Strangers on a Train

Strangers on a Train (1951)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock (but of course)

Starring: Farley Granger, Robert Walker, Ruth Roman, Leo G. Carroll, Patricia Hitchcock

From: Warner Brothers


I figured it was about time to review a classic film*, and as I recently reviewed what I deemed to be a Hitchcockian film, why not go and see a film from The Master himself? Via TCM airing it late Monday night, I got to see this again. I’ve only seen it once, way back in like 2003, on a VHS tape, which I rented from a videostore in Normal, Illinois, back when I used to go to college down there. I only remembered bits and pieces of it, so this viewing was almost brand new for me.

* As I've seen my share of mediocre or worse movies as of late, that's for damn sure.

The basic plot is that a rich socialite type (no, not Paris Hilton; instead, it’s Bruno, played by Walker) meets up with an up and coming tennis player who hopes to be a politician eventually, Guy Haines (Granger). The socialite is more than a little nutty, and he knows about Guy’s personal life due to the newspapers. Guy has a girlfriend who’s the daughter of a politician. Problem is, Guy is already married to a shrewish woman named Miriam, who is also pregnant, but not with his child. Bruno also has the dilemma of having a father who he does not get along with at all. So, Bruno comes up with a scheme where they criss-cross and they kill each other’s arch-enemy, so that they’d get away Scott-free. Guy doesn’t agree to it but Bruno thinks he does, so he strangles old Miriam.

From there… I won’t give it away, but it’s a great yarn that is a lot of fun while at the same time being real suspenseful. Some of the shots are classic. And, I certainly did remember the ending from the time I saw it in college. It’s pretty hard to forget. There’s a legit extremely dangerous stunt that was done (it’s no trick photography) and I certainly remembered that.

What makes the movie go is that Walker played a great loony yet menacing figure. It’s a classic performance. I also enjoyed the director’s daughter Patricia as Barbara, the mousy other daughter of the senator. She was pretty entertaining at times with her brashness. But, I also have to give props to Hitch for the way it was shot and how suspense was garnered out of such things as the length of a tennis match Guy is involved with. It’s great entertainment and I’m glad I got to see it again.

Note that I haven’t seen any of the later variations on this story, even Throw Momma from the Train. Maybe I will one day, though.

I do know that I'll be back on Sunday night the 20th with a new review.