Runtime: 100 minutes
Directed by: Michael Miller
Starring: Chuck Norris, Ron Silver, Steven Keats, Toni Kalem, Brian Libby
From: Columbia
Imagine the Italians doing their own version of Halloween if it starred Chuck Norris. Hearing sometime in the past that there was a movie which had a premise of “Chuck Norris vs. Michael Myers” was something that I couldn't forget. It played on HDNet Movies last month and DVR'ed it; as it was me, the time between recording and pressing “play” was several weeks.
What a movie this is. Among other things, it is... Sheriff Chuck Norris (playing a character named DAN STEVENS, which is amazing if you've ever seen The Guest) kicking ass in a biker bar, Stephen Furst as his buffoon deputy who tells a bizarre story of accidentally killing a dog as a kid to him, plenty of boobs, Chuck rekindling an old romantic relationship, Ron Silver as the voice of reason instead of a dastardly villain, a wacky synth score, and a villain who snaps and seemed superhuman BEFORE he was killed, but certainly was after he was given Wolverine's powers by a mad scientist who looked like Josh Brolin in Planet Terror. BTW, I do understand why the killer snaps: he lives with some horribly loud, abrasive family members. I realize how horrible that sounds, but don't worry I'm not a sociopath! It's only due to me not liking loud noises in general, especially if they are incredibly harsh.
It's definitely flawed although I still laughed often-even if it more often was unintentionally-and was entertained by this piece of schlock which at least was an atypical Chuck film. The action was fine along with the horror scenes and it was amusing to see a scientist trying to invent something great for the world by using the body of someone who just used an axe on a pair of people. Unfortunately the movie doesn't have any gore to speak of; that's mentioned as I've seen the Italians do their own version of Halloween (1981's Absurd, starring George Eastman as someone who was given Wolverine's powers then flips his gourd) and as it was from Joe D'Amato, of course Absurd was graphic as s*** and it was the most memorable aspect of that picture.
All that said, this oddity managed to entertain me; considering all the topless nudity, I'm sure the current Chuck Norris isn't a fan. Then again, I don't agree with the current Chuck when it comes to political or personal beliefs, but that played no role in how I'm rating Silent Rage.
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