Friday, December 16, 2022

I Experienced The Guardians Of The Galaxy Holiday Special

Yeah, I haven't missed out on skipping most of the comic book movies... note that I flew back home to Florida this morning so now things will be back to normal. I do feel like a heel for not liking at all something that from reading other reviews was rather touching to many here & the public in general. I'll explain myself, but the most important thing is that I've seen and at least liked the first two Guardians of the Galaxy films.

In the past I've discussed this but as it's been a long while and as literally hundreds have followed me since then—the superhero genre and comic book movies in general just haven't interested me too much in the 21st century. Note that this goes for both Marvel and DC-I have no preference between the two. To be frank, this was selected on Disney+ due to its 45 minute runtime and my previous experience w/ the series, which only encompasses Guardians of the Galaxy (very good) and its sequel (not as good, including the creepiness of Drax being a dick to Mantis, which was apparently supposed to be funny... ) at least their relationship here wasn't as abusive, which is good as they were the centerpiece of this.

What exemplified the special to me was a moment early on when one character stated a major revelation to someone else. It was seemingly done in a casual manner so it was just presumed by me that it was something previously stated in the MCU that I never heard about. Nope! This slight effort actually has a noteworthy impact on canon. To be frank, the one trailer I saw didn't impress me whatsoever so there was no interest in checking out what seemed like nothing more than additional content for a platform which is unfortunately built on the assumption that “we'll just add subscribers every month” will happen in perpetuity, a never-ending process. What a horrible idea Netflix has that neverending growth will occur, and presumably most of the other streaming services subscribe to the same model.

“Kevin Bacon is kidnapped by Pom and Drax because they believe Star Lord isn't a fan of Christmas anything, and they think Bacon is a real-life hero” is pretty flimsy anyhow even for something 45 minutes long, but Lord was this ever stretched out before Ol' Kevin ends up on the ship. The worst aspect of all: aside from a stifled chuckle, I did not even laugh once; no kidding. Often I've complained about misplaced humor in modern movies; similarly, comedy that isn't funny to me is a major problem in 21st century Hollywood. The first two GotG had their share of amusing moments, yet this wildly missed the mark from me. From the dumb “humorous” opening credits song (it took YouTube to confirm that The Old 97's are at least better as themselves than the fictional band they were here) to the ending reveal that this was a shaggy-dog story all along, there were far more groans and sighs from me than anything else.

Then there's my bafflement at why Bacon was horrified at the appearance of the Guardians when that universe has all those villains & superheroes, some of whom I'm sure are even weirder than a talking bipedal raccoon and a talking bipedal tree branch w/ limbs. It tries at sentimentality and it is nice to try and help feel someone more cheerful about the holidays. However, this was a gigantic waste of time that didn't entertain me whatsoever, aside from the “huh, how about that?” at the short animated segments that looked like they were made by Nelvana in the 1980's. I know the vibe of retro Christmas specials is what James Gunn was going for, so at least that was a success.

From hearsay, this was actually a highlight of MCU's Phase 4. If so, then YIKES and what a relief I've otherwise avoided it all. But enough of me espousing: if you will see this later in the holiday season then with any luck you will be filled w/ cheer & candy canes rather than the sour mood I had afterwards.

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