Runtime: 177 long minutes
Directed by: Kevin Costner
Starring: Costner, Will Patton, Larenz Tate, Olivia Williams, James Russo
From: Warner Bros.
AKA a movie that sparked an argument in college.
Last night I was really wrestling with whether or not I should even watch anything that is patriotic or not for the 4th of July. It took some time but I finally decided to revisit something from long ago, and that's an infamous bomb which definitely damaged the star's career for awhile. Honestly, it's not horrible-horribly wrong, though... that's up for debate-although I can't deny that the plot is rather mawkish and sentimental. Even then, people laughed that the movie was centered on a post-apocalyptic United States rallying around... the U.S. Postal System. In the 90's, the term “going postal” entered the lexicon because there were at least a few cases of those working in the system shooting each other in fits of rage. The past several years, the USPS's reputation has gone downhill-I won't discuss why as that means I'd have to go all political and that won't lead down any path that we should be traversing.
Anyhow, in the far-flung future of 2013 devastated by an apocalypse, Costner plays a lonely drifter, a mule named Bill his only companion. They do an act of Shakespeare together to entertain communities (no, really) and run afoul of the Snidely Whiplash villain of the picture, a General that is head of the militia which de facto rules the area. He escapes, finds the uniform of a letter carrier, lies his ass off to cover his own ass and says that the federal government has been reestablished, so he's the Postmaster delivering mail to everyone. Sounds corny... and it is. Naturally there's a love interest and General Dickhead isn't happy about people rising up against his tyranny because they have someone new to rally around; this happens for a full 3 hours which is rather lengthy.
It's nice for a movie to try and inspire by presenting a tale where downtrodden people find something or someone to be inspire by and this helps them improve their lives; the fact that it's a postal worker is a hurdle too high for many to cross, and even I can admit (and I mean no offense towards anyone in that line of work) the idea is rather goofy. As laughable as it may be at times-Lord, what a po-faced ending-it's obvious that its heart was in the right place and I shouldn't get too up in arms about such nice ideals. Heck, in 2022 America having someone that EVERYBODY can rally around seems like a pipe dream even though it could help heal a fractured country... at least there's a score that tries to make all the cornball moments seem epic, a cast that tries, pretty Pacific Northwest scenery, and me gawking at corporate synergy gone wrong by having the movie division of Warner Brothers attempt to help the record division by having Tom Petty act for a few minutes.
As for how this movie could possibly inspire a college dorm room argument, one night way back when I was in a pal's domain w/ some random people, including a woman I only saw that night—and thank goodness that was the only time w/ her as she was pretty rude in general. Anyhow, for some reason someone else brought up how the character played by Larenz Tate called himself FORD LINCOLN MERCURY, after an auto dealership sign. There's a joke that doesn't work as well anymore-they haven't made Mercury vehicles for a decade. The girl called poppycock at this being an actual fact... and admittedly, it does sound unbelievable if you've never experienced The Postman.
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