Runtime:
85 minutes
Directed
by: Robert Clouse
Starring:
Jim Kelly (no, not the former NFL quarterback; this is the
African-American martial artist turned actor), Gloria Hendry, Malik
Carter, Scatman Crothers
From:
Warner Brothers
Runtime: 92 minutes
Directed
by: Robert Clouse
Starring:
Joe Don Baker, Elizabeth Ashley, Ann Sothern, Jim Kelly, Burgess
Meredith
From: American International Pictures
Yes,
here's a two-fer (but not the last multiple movie review you'll be
getting this month) of movies from 1974 directed by Robert Clouse and
featuring the martial artist Jim Kelly, best known for being in Enter
the Dragon... which is also the most highly regarded film from
Clouse, for sure. The former I watched via a 4-pack DVD set I got a
few days ago. After I watched that I happened to look at the other
movies Clouse directed and saw one I had never heard of before and
there's no videos for it on YouTube. But, much to my shock it was on
Netflix Instant; after I read what the plot was, I HAD to see it.
I'll explain later.
The
plot for Black Belt Jones, a martial arts blaxploitation: Jones
(Kelly) helps out his pals who run a karate school (it's owned by
Scatman Crothers! I kid you not) as they deal with some bad guys who
are associated with The Mob as they want to take over the school to
tear it down as the city and The Mob want to share profits on a civic
center to be built in that area.
The
movie itself... I've heard some mixed reviews but me, I thought it
was a hilarious good time. There's plenty of action that isn't the
best but boy is it fun. There's also plenty of humor, both
intentional and unintentional. Let me list some highlights:
- The “martial arts” you see Scatman do consist of a strike to the head and then a kick to the balls. That's it. Many strikes to the balls are seen throughout the movie.
- Scatman's daughter is Gloria Hendry and you definitely do see her do more martial arts.
- Jones shoots one bad guy literally in the ass.
- The villain you see the most is known as Pinky. He and his buddies wear the most hilarious 70's outfits, especially Jelly, a huge man who looks just like Cedric The Entertainer and his shirts are extremely loud floral prints. He ruled. So did Pinky, who loved calling his foes “ants” and “Communists”.
- You may have seen online a clip of Kelly fighting people in a soapy suds car wash. It's from this movie, and it's hilarious when that moment comes in this movie, I'll put it that way.
- Jones is great himself, driving a yellow Jensen Interceptor (a classic British car from the 70's) and living on the beach; on his property... a big trampoline where random girls in leotards jump on it! I swear this is true. They actually factor into the plot later on.
There's
a lot more but I don't want to spoil the entire film. Believe me,
though, I had a real good time with this.
Now,
onto Golden Needles. Yeah, the title also reminds me of the Linda
Ronstadt song Silver Threads & Golden Needles. But this plot is
completely different from that; to steal from Wikipedia:
“A
legendary statue has seven gold needles inserted in it, and an adult
man will become a sexual superman when the needles are placed in the
same position in his body. A colorful group of characters is all in
on the hunt for the mysterious statue.”
The
plot in general makes me lol, especially the phrase “a sexual
superman”. It is set in Hong Kong (the
majority, anyhow; the rest is set in Los Angeles) and it was actually
filmed on location, so it was interesting to see what that unique
area of the world looked like back then. I'll admit I haven't seen
the particular subset of Hong Kong movies that happen to be rather
bizarre; this seems like a nice introduction to that. There are some
interesting set-pieces, to say the least. I'l give some highlights:
- The opening involves the statue being stolen... by two guys wearing Haz-Mat suits and wielding FLAMETHROWERS. Wow.
- There are fight scenes in such places as a small casino and a health club.
- The main plot is that a lady (Ashley) comes to Hong Kong to purchase the statue for someone in the United States. Joe Don Baker agrees to help her out, in exchange for cash... and sex!
- Someone has to try and avoid a floor full of cobras.
- Burgess Meredith gets involved, and he wears the biggest and loudest bow-ties.
It's
not as awesome as it could have been given all the wacky elements;
for example, Kelly does more acting than martial arts. Not the best
usage of his talents. But, it's still rather entertaining to watch
due to how odd it usually is; aside from some slow spots I was never
bored, as I usually wasn't sure which new and wacky direction it was
going to turn to. If you have Netflix Instant and enjoy watching
something strange, or if you're a fan of Joe Don Baker, or if you
enjoy seeing a big brute of a man fighting barroom style against a
bunch of small Chinese men using karate... check this out.
I'll
be back Monday night.
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