Runtime:
92 minutes
Directed
by: Bruno Mattei
Starring:
Reb Brown, Massimo Vanni, Claudio Fragosso, Catherine Hickland
From:
Flora Film
Here
is what I was finally able to watch in full earlier tonight after
finding out about it last week and skimming through it; someone I
know on Facebook mentioned seeing this random Italian action movie
filmed in the Philippines and mentioning that it was a so bad it's
good mish-mash of such things as Predator (especially), Robocop,
Aliens, and some other things. I was blown away by what little I saw
so I had to watch it in full.
By
the way, I found the full movie here on Youtube:
Here are the highlights:
* The villain is a robot out
of control which attacks the U.S. Army in a tropical location; it
looks like the Wraith and sounds like Stephen Hawking's computer
voice mixed with Cornholio and Max Headroom!
* Reb
Brown plays the hero, a guy named Murphy Black. I can't help but
think “Murphy Brown”, which doesn't help his cause in me taking
him seriously. He's the guy who starred in such classics as Yor: The
Hunter from the Future and Space Mutiny.
* His
gang (known as BAM; it stands for Big Ass Mother... well, you know)
that gets sent to stop the robot include a bearded guy who looks like
a fusion jazz bassist from the 70's; in other words, not that
threatening and yet he's supposed to be a soldier. Another guy looks
like a bearded Hart Bochner a la when he played Ellis in Die Hard;
his nicknames are Diddy and Diddy Bop! There are some other dudes
too.
* They
go via boat to an island. The boat is called African Queen II. I
swear this is true. Diddy is listening to bad 80's metal on his
boombox and moving around to the music. Another member of the
team-Peel-says, “F*****' Diddy, quit moving around like you're
jerkin' off!” He and another guy then start smoking weed! Remember,
they're the heroes. Peel then tells the two, “Drug addicts and
fags... I bet they got AIDS too”! YIKES. Talk about a scene that
you can only get in the 80's. It's horrificially politcally incorrect
in 2012, to say the very least.
* One
of the gang tells another... “Move along, you walk like a ruptured
duck!” I don't even quite know what that means.
* Reb
knocks down an enemy soldier during a sequence where the BAM lay
waste to an entire village. After the guy gets knocked down, he then
gets kicked HARD right in the balls.
* The
soundtrack is a real mix but it is filled with both synth drums and
wailing guitar; it is SO 80's.
* The
Wraith uses laser blasts as his main weapon; they look rather fake.
There's
more but I don't want this to be too lengthy. This is a terrible film
but at least funnily terrible.
I'll be back Sunday afternoon with a new review.
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