The Count of Monte Cristo

The Count of Monte Cristo (Le Comte de Monte-Cristo) (2024)

Runtime: 178 minutes; that’s right, just under three hours

Directed by: Matthieu Delaporte/Alexandre de La Pateelliere

Starring: Pierre Niney, Bastien Bouillon, Anais Demoustier, Anamaria Vartolomei, Laurent Lafitte

From: Several different European companies

A movie seen because of messageboard discussion… of the other recent big European adaptation of a famous Alexandre Dumas novel. Someone praised both halves of 2023’s The Three Musketeers-something not tackled by me yet-particularly Eva Green’s performance, then of course discussion swung to Green’s usual appearance in schlock so people were glad she was in something worthwhile. This was enough impetus for me to check this out.

I am kicking myself for not giving this movie a shot when it played in Orlando late in 2024; it’d be better if throughout 2026, I try to give more foreign pictures my attention when they come to my area. I’d much rather this be my first exposure to Anamaria Vartolomei than Mickey 17, a.k.a. the movie where she randomly appeared for 20 minutes in the second act so you’d think she would be an integral part of the plot but then vanished until the final scene… to be frank, I do realize why most people love Mickey 17, but it was just a mess and totally tone-deaf. In any event…

I’ve never read the novel (nor seen any other film adaptations, including the famous one from ’02) but knew the basics. In early 19th century France after the reign of Napoleon, poor Edmond Dantes gets screwed by enemies so he’s locked away for years. He escapes and cosplays as The Count of Monte Cristo. I won’t reveal much more of the plot but the story at least as told in this film is a handsomely mounted production which is an exciting adventure where it’s easy to root for the heroes (yet there’s some doubt and conflict concerning revenge blinding him) and sneer at the A-hole villains. I definitely enjoyed the Count’s idea for revenge… it’s far more than delicious than just killing those that wronged him.

Over the years I’ve carped over many modern Hollywood releases and perhaps was even too kind to some of them. I’ve grown tired over how drab and drained of color they are, how they needlessly interject “humor”, how it’s too safe, how they’re too risk-adverse, how they don’t kill characters, how they try for “four quadrant filmmaking” in a failed attempt to appeal to everyone, etc. Cristo thankfully isn’t that nor does it contain any of the modern movie-making sins I also gripe about. Instead, this felt like the sort of classic epic that Hollywood used to make. This is the sort of serious, well-made engrossing tales I wish they’d make now instead of comic book nonsense or braindead pictures micromanaged to death.

The Count of Monte Cristo looked great, actually showed colorful images, had a lovely score, was well-filmed, and had quality performances from a cast I mostly was unfamiliar with. For those that are enthralled by such stories (regardless if you have read the novel) I give the highest recommendation to this motion picture.

Tiger on the Beat

Tiger on the Beat (Lo Foo Chut Gang) (1988)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Lau Kar-Leung

Starring: Chow Yun-Fat, Conan Lee, Nina Li Chi, Norman Tsui, Gordon Liu

From: Cinema City

I was happy to select this as my first rental from the Letterboxd video store. It’s not a service that will be used often but I was happy to pay more than typical for a streaming rental to see a picture that until recently was difficult to track down and thus I finally got around to something that’s been on my figurative watch list for many years.

This sure was a Hong Kong version of a Lethal Weapon big bombastic 80’s buddy cop action-comedy. That unfortunately meant “some gross misogynistic moments” that I really wish wasn’t in the film. In addition, it’s Hong Kong Humor, meaning that at least for me, it is hit or miss with the laughs. That noted, most of the movie was a sheer delight, especially after a first act where Chow Yun-Fat’s character toned down his goofball cop character.

He and Conan Lee’s loose cannon cop team up as a wacky duo to take out reprobates involved in selling drugs. Both Fat’s sister and the sister of a drug runner become integral to the plot. It’s the latter who is on the brunt end of the misogyny; I felt bad for Nina Li Chi, the actress (and the current Mrs. Jet Li) who portrayed her. Otherwise… this was what I wanted of this 80’s movie. Those ugly moments only make up a few minutes of the runtime. 

The period score and soundtrack often brought a smile to my face-either that or downright laughter. It was 80’s-riffic, from cheesy pop to tracks that resembled Tangerine Dream. 80’s excesses oozed out during the duration, especially during the action scenes that became more and more bombastic the further the viewer advanced in the plot, especially the finale that includes a wild improv moment with a shotgun and a darn CHAINSAW duel.

However, best of all: Fat’s wardrobe; it was loud and bold, colorful and hilarious. This includes the leather cap he often wore and multiple pairs of brightly-colored pants. If I was even half as cool as Chow Yun-Fat, I’d love to pull off that look. Those that dig 80’s Hong Kong, various actors known for appearing in many Shaw Brothers films, action-comedies of the time, wild stunts, and/or two dudes using chainsaws against each other as if they were swords… the restored print that I saw last night looks resplendent.

American Conspiracy: The Octopus Murders

This is another Netflix documentary I tackled, this time from 2024: 

I don’t know if 100% of the stories told here were legit, but… what a wild conspiracy this purportedly is. This four episode documentary covered the 1991 death of journalist Danny Casalaro; he investigated a shady dealing involving the United States government (the Department of Justice, specifically) and a computer company, and via interviewing a variety of shady characters, came to believe that there was a vast conspiracy encompassing most of the 80’s major American scandals (the Iran-Contra affair, the savings & loan scandal, The October Surprise, etc.) were all connected together as if it was a giant octopus w/ many tentacles. It does sound like the plot of one of those 70’s paranoid conspiracy thrillers.

My opinion… at least some of the events depicted were true and more than once, the American government appeared to protect certain people, likely for nefarious reasons. It was fascinating hearing those tales, and from some of the innocent parties who attempted to investigate. It all tying together into something massive… neither me nor the filmmakers were fully convinced. However, the official ruling that Danny Casalero took his own life in his motel room can certainly be questioned.

Octopus is a documentary where the filmmakers (Christian Hansen, who did the investigation, and director Zachary Trietz) are often shown on camera. That didn’t bother me too much in this case. An asset was that they had interviews with many of the important players in this sordid saga, alongside audio and video recordings from the past. The viewer will ultimately have to decide what they believe or don’t believe, re: those scandals and how they do or don’t relate to each other. Whether or not they have biases concerning some of the players rumored to be involved (Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Sr.) is up to them as well.

I do have to mention arguably the most dubious of the characters covered: Robert Booth Nichols. He was allegedly involved in many clandestine activities, involving and not involving the federal government… furthermore, there are claims he was involved with both the Gambino crime family and Nichols was undoubtedly involved with Samuel Israel, the leader of a Ponzi scheme. He even is (was?) the sort of guy to professedly fake his own death; whether he is still alive, passed away in ’09, or died sometime between then and now is unknown.

Most importantly for people like us, he was involved w/ a famed 90’s action picture as a “technical advisor”; my presumption is that he presented the producers a bill of goods of phony accolades to earn such a position… and have a brief speaking role on camera. The punchline is that the movie was UNDER SIEGE and this documentary produced on-set photos of Nichols with both Steven Seagal and Gary Busey. That was just perfect in my eyes.

 

Killer of Sheep

Killer of Sheep (1978)

Runtime: 80 minutes

Directed by: Charles Burnett

Starring: Henry G. Sanders, Kaycee Moore, Charles Bracy, Angela Burnett, Eugene Cherry

From: Milestone Films 

I mentioned not that long ago that cinema verite and slice-of-life movies aren’t always for me. However, I was glad to finally check out this film that there’s been an interest in checking out for years yet the trigger wasn’t pulled even when it was added to the Criterion Channel a few months ago. The platform’s 24/7 service playing the film finally gave me the impetus to cross this off of my figurative queue, it of what has to be thousands of movies still. There were times when this movie was impossible to track down (legally); the soundtrack was unauthorized and as this is full of mostly Black music… but all that’s settled for the time being.

Ostensibly this is about a random Black man dealing with insomnia and malaise as he has a slaughterhouse job in the Watts neighborhood of Los Angeles and he struggles with being the head of a family w/ young children… in actuality, this is a slice-of-life where a wide variety of characters (including more than a few kids) are shown living in Watts and their experiences living in a poor area, whether good or-typically-bad. The cast is mainly non-actors this was mostly filmed between ’72 and ’73. Best of all, director Charles Burnett presented this movie as his Master of Fine Art thesis for the School of Film at UCLA in 1977. It is wild that Burnett made the bold choice to adopt this style for a student film involving Black talent in the early 70’s.

For a dumb white guy like me who wasn’t even alive in the 1970’s, this black-and-white film (which yes, does evoke feelings of Italian neo-realism) was quite illuminating. There isn’t too much else that I’d wish to reveal-people should experience this journey themselves if the premise sounds intriguing. For a movie filled with amateurs and helmed by a neophyte filmmaker, it has some great cinematography; the hip-hop community noticed it, given that Mos Def took an image from the film & gave it a red tint for his The Ecstatic album, along with The Roots using an aesthetic from the film for their Undun album.

The new 4K restoration made this 16mm movie look outstanding-for that reason alone, I can’t be too upset it took this long to finally tackle Killer of Sheep.

Girl with Hyacinths

Girl with Hyacinths (Flicka Och Hyacinter) (1950)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Hasse Ekman

Starring: Eva Henning, Ulf Palme, Birgit Tengroth, Anders Ek, Gosta Cederlund

From: Terrafilm

This film is part of the Criterion Channel’s new Nordic Noir section, and as according to the channel this movie is an unexpected popular watch, why not tackle it for myself? Whether or not you consider this noir or not is debatable; I have a list devoted to the genre but as I only add American films to it anyhow… a young lady named Dagmar who’s a loner took her own life via hanging.

That happens a few minutes in and that should be mentioned for those that don’t want to view such things for whatever personal reasons. Dagmar’s apartment neighbor is a writer and he investigates why she made this decision. The blurb on the channel in fact invoked the name Citizen Kane; that’s a tall order but the movie is very good. The viewer sees flashbacks which shone a light on Dagmar’s life and why she committed suicide.

The description on the Criterion Channel reveals a key detail which perhaps shouldn’t have been revealed beforehand; even if you don’t know, people today might have an easier time guessing the big surprise at the conclusion. A segment of the audience reading this probably would be interested in Dagmar as a character due to her preferences. Hyacinths was an easy 90-minute watch; the runtime flew by as the author Anders investigates, we see many flashbacks, and he has frequent discussions w/ his wife Britt concerning the case.

Whether behind or in front of the camera, I wasn’t familiar w/ most of the cast and crew, aside from Anders Ek. There’s strong filmmaking craft involved and the cast as a whole was swell. That said, Ulf Palme as Anders and Eva Henning as Dagmar were the highlights; the latter was incredibly sympathetic as a nice lady who is treated horribly by seemingly every man in her life, then she took her own life.

The movie is of the downbeat variety yet I was still glad to have gone on this journey. None other than Ingmar Bergman was a fan. In the future I’ll view at least one more from the Nordic Noir collection.

Nightmare Beach

Nightmare Beach (1989)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Harry Kirkpatrick, mostly, although Umberto Lenzi was on set

Starring: Nicolas de Toth, Sarah Buxton, John Saxon, Michael Parks, Lance LeGault

From: Overseas Filmgroup

A relevant movie for me to discuss today, it was. I mention that as a key plot point to this nonsense set at Spring Break in Florida was that the lead male is a college football quarterback who blew it in the national championship game in Miami by throwing 5 interceptions. Well, tonight is the college football national championship… the game will be held in a Miami suburb. Hopefully either Fernando Mendoza or Carson Beck don’t throw 5 INT’s in the game; they’ll be a total wet blanket during Spring Break and be a drag for their horndog wide receiver friend that is ready, willing & able to engage in the bacchanal that is Spring Break on a beach.

When I was in college way back when, I never went to Spring Break in Florida, thus I did not witness or even participate in the binge drinking, unprotected sex, wet t-shirt contests, and other debauchery all day & night. On the other hand, I also did not have to worry about the scenario presented in this Italian horror movie… a biker who was executed but is hinted at being resurrected as a killer in black biker leathers and a helmet who is indiscriminately killing people during the college rite of passage in Florida. At least for these people, they have John Saxon as a loose cannon aviator shades-wearing badass cop named… STRYCHER. Of course, the movie is easy to criticize or even scoff at if you aren’t entertained by incredibly silly genre movies and goofball young adults. 

The acting aside from old pros like Saxon and Lance LeGault is spotty at best, terrible at worst. The logic of the plot shouldn’t be scrutinized too hard. Yet, I was entertained by this trash. The 80’s clothing, hair, and music throughout always made me chuckle. There are some absurd deaths-thankfully, the effects were decent-red herring characters that include a weird-looking creep that’s a Peeping Tom, and side plots that entertained me… both men and women, solo and in groups, people steal the money of the poor saps that are visiting for Spring Break. Another good reason for me not regretting going there!

Like with many Italian genre pictures for at least a 10 year period, they filmed in the Miami region of Florida; nice scenery was presented, and I’m not referring to the pretty ladies in the cast… or handsome men, if that’s your bag instead. The film was a good time. Note that Umberto Lenzi (someone I am a fan of) was the original director but he abdicated that position because he found the plot too similar to an earlier film he did… I won’t reveal which one as it could be deemed a spoiler. Instead, he stayed on in an advisory role and screenwriter Harry Kirkpatrick directed instead. From a mutual’s review, when he met Saxon at a comic con, he confirmed this to be the case.

Nightmare Beach was fun, especially as something different from the typical 80’s slasher.

Best in Show

Best in Show (2000)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Christopher Guest

Starring: A great cast. What a deep bench it has.

From: Warner Brothers/Castle Rock Entertainment

Me giving up on a new streaming release 10 minutes in because it was a nonstop torrent of F-bombs shouldn’t be too surprising to longtime readers-the fact that the film also had a flagrant logical fallacy made it all the easier to hit “stop”, never to return. What may be surprising or perhaps even a little galling to some: I’d never seen any of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries he’s directed despite the lavish praise they’ve received all these years… well, except the one that was released on Netflix, but that’s the “magic” of Netflix, I suppose—and that was long before their mandate of “verbally explaining the plot on multiple occasions because many of our viewers are on phones while watching.” Sigh…

Back on topic, I was happy that while droll humor isn’t always my thing (the same goes for improv humor), this was quite funny. I’ve never watched any dog shows-even the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show-yet that was irrelevant in this case. Wacky characters of wildly different personalities bring their pooches to a major dog show in Philadelphia. It’s everyone from a campy homosexual male couple and a North Carolina fisherman to an amazingly stressed couple and an amazingly dorky Eugene Levy who has a wife… well, I don’t want to shame Catherine O’Hara’s character as I could get canceled for such things now!

The characters are all peculiar and are poked fun at without being cruelly mocked too harshly. Arguably, Fred Willard was the highlight as the color commentator of the dog show due to his constant remarks that were either cheesy cliches or bizarre off the wall statements. That said, I was entertained by all the main players; I wasn’t let down by a film that had Levy & his fake teeth, O’Hara, Michael McKean, Jennifer Coolidge, Jane Lynch, Parker Posey, Larry Miller, and Guest himself in a key role, among others. There’s also a small part for That Guy actor Don S. Davis, a distinctive-looking older bald man who I’m sure many will recognize for his recurring role on Twin Peaks but as that’s still a show I’ve never tackled (I know, I know) he’s best known to me for small roles in a few random 80’s and 90’s pictures.

Comedy with awkward characters and humor as dry as a biscuit is not something I desire to view constantly so it is probable that months will pass by before I give something like Waiting for Guffman or A Mighty Wind a shot. Be that as it may, Best in Show thankfully wasn’t a disappointment. It spoofed the inherent absurdities of dog shows in a playful way-personally, I was happy to view many different varieties of dogs throughout. As modern “comedies” leave me cold, I’m glad to find one from the past worth seeing-and the runtime of 90 minutes is a bonus.