Case 39 (2009)
23% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 62 reviews)
Directed by: Christian Alvart
Runtime: 109 minutes
Starring: Renee Zellweger, Jodelle Ferland, Bradley Cooper, Ian McShane
From: Paramount Vantage
Here is a movie I didn’t think I was ever going to see. But, last night I had free time and wanted to get out of the house, so I returned to the drive-in in Lakeland and I saw the double feature of this, preceded by Paranormal Activity 2; of course, that movie in that format isn’t quite the same, but I was still entertained by it. This movie, though…
In case you don’t remember, it was released the first week of October as one of the many horror flicks coming out at that time. They all beat upon each other and none of them did that particularly well; not a surprise to me, dividing the horror fans that way. This is noteworthy for some of its major names… along with the fact that they started filming this in late 2006. No kidding. There were many re-shoots (I even noticed it once, but if you looked closely enough, Renee looked noticeably different due to plastic surgery, hair styles, or what have you) and the United States was like the last place in the world to get the movie. More often than not, a film being on the shelf for that long is a giant red flag. After I actually watched the damn thing, that theory was proven to be correct.
I don’t know how much about the movie is known by people (heck, I’m not sure if I’ve seen the official trailer or not; the one I’ve seen online is rather misleading, to say the least), but as I doubt that many people care about this movie… I’ll make the comparison to the movie Orphan, i.e. my very first review. That movie-which ends up being similar to this in a few ways-stomps all over this one. I don’t blame the little girl starring in this movie (Ferland); with what she had to work with, she was fine, being both cute and creepy. It’s just that the story and the other people acting around her… for many of them it was just another paycheck, in other words. Interestingly enough, both little Esther (Isabelle Furhman) and popular little girl Chloe Moritz could have been in that role; not that it would have really changed this movie at all.
To be brief, Zellweger delivers her usual Zellwegerian performance as Emily Jenkins, a social worker who has to deal with 38 cases as once (is this how it really works?) but then is giving a 39th one; there, it looks as if some wacko parents are abusing an adorable little girl. She tugs Emily’s heartstrings and eventually the parents are caught trying to cook her in an oven! She’s saved and somehow, Emily is allowed to briefly adopt her. That proves to be a mistake, though, as various things suddenly start happening… and I’ll leave it at that.
This movie overall just isn’t that scary or terrifying at all. Despite some laughably dumb stuff you get to see, it’s also pretty boring overall. The first half mainly isn’t the problem; it derails totally in the second half once you get to see just what exactly is going on. It’s rather laughable, the killings are. And Emily acts REALLY stupid before and after she finds out what it is. Think and act logically, that does not happen. She could have even tried to attack the villain (as an attempt would have made the audience happy, at least), but nope, does not happen. Things get stupider and stupider until the very end and the film is just a waste of time. Aside from the goofy premise of what’s causing all the mayhem, the movie is otherwise not fresh at all, is not even interesting to look at, and flicks like Orphan are more worth your time than even spending a few bucks to rent this once it comes to DVD/Blu-Ray. I mean, other people noticed it more times than I did, but there's at least one *really noticeable* instance where Renee looks very different, due to wearing a bad wig to look like she did before massive reshoots happened. But it's kind of hard to hide plastic surgery on your face...
However, I will mention one thing that did make me chuckle. Near the end of the movie, through ways that I won’t get into as it’s spoilers, someone calls Renee a pumpkinhead; pumpkinhead! For some reason, that seems totally appropriate and for the rest of my life, I may think of Renee Zellweger as a pumpkinhead. At least I could garner SOME kind of enjoyment from this otherwise pointless motion picture.
I’ll be back Thursday night and for that I think I’ll go back (way back) to review a classic bit of horror.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
69% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 42 reviews)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Tod Williams
Starring: Brian Boland, Sprague Grayden, Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat
From: Paramount
Yep, I wasn’t planning on seeing this movie already; in fact I had pretty much left myself in the dark on what the sequel was going to be about. I enjoyed the first movie a lot when I saw it last fall. My view on it is assuredly different from many other people as I first heard about it from the website Dread Central on their podcast back in the fall of ’07 and since then it’d be periodically mentioned but many of the listeners there grew frustrated with the process of hearing about a movie heavily hyped by the site and yet hardly anyone could go and see it as it only had a few random screenings around Los Angeles and that was it… until a miracle happened last year and via viral marketing it became a shockingly huge hit and even was number one at the box office for a weekend, something I could have never predicted when I first heard about the almost no budget film back in ’07. Anyhow, I had fears about the sequel; it was being made very quickly so that it’d be out at this time, there is a different writer/director (although the guy who came up with it all, Oren Peli, would still be on as a producer) and just by history most horror sequels are crap compared to the originals. Just look at the Blair Witch Project sequel; I’d never seen it but the more traditional film to the found footage original is HATED by most horror fans.
But, it was the opportunity to see the first PA and the sequel back to back last night (which was done at various locations across the country) made me go out and see it… and this was a very wise choice on my part. The first movie had a real small crowd show up at the huge auditorium at Winter Park. The sequel drew a larger crowd but it still looked small in such a large room. Also, I sat far away from everyone else; I don’t know why but it made me feel like I had leprosy or something! Anyway, the crowd seemed to enjoy PA2 quite a bit, yelling and shrieking at all the jump scares and freaking out during the night scenes and all the tension those scenes had. When the end credits hit-after a long moment of just a black screen-there were many relieved sighs. The film also worked on me and at least at the moment I’d say it’s a little better than the first. It’s very similar to the first but a fresh spin it put on things with the focus being on a family rather than a two person couple and you get some security camera footage in the house along with a handheld camera.
I’m not sure how much I should reveal here, but the family in question is actually the sister of Katie (Featherston) and it takes place at the same time as the first Paranormal Activity. The two movies go together very well and some things in the first are elaborated upon here (such as learning more about the demon in question) and a viewing of the original movie before you see this one may not be the worst idea. Revealing much more than that about the story would probably ruin things so I’ll shut up about that.
On another topic, though, if you were a fan of the busty Katie, then you should enjoy the one scene she has where you see her in a bikini top. I didn’t complain about that scene myself!
So, if you loved the original, you should see this with a crowd and enjoy the scares and frights with an audience; if you hated the first (and I know some personally who did; that disappoints me but to each their own) then your opinion on this won’t change as the two are very similar. As I'm a fan of the first... that's why I dug this and I think it's pretty incredible to think that many IMAX screens are showing this for the rest of the month. Again, no way could I have predicted back in '07 that there would be a sequel to this, and I could see it on an IMAX screen, whether a legit one or a much smaller one.
I’ll be back Monday night with a new review.
69% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 42 reviews)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Directed by: Tod Williams
Starring: Brian Boland, Sprague Grayden, Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat
From: Paramount
Yep, I wasn’t planning on seeing this movie already; in fact I had pretty much left myself in the dark on what the sequel was going to be about. I enjoyed the first movie a lot when I saw it last fall. My view on it is assuredly different from many other people as I first heard about it from the website Dread Central on their podcast back in the fall of ’07 and since then it’d be periodically mentioned but many of the listeners there grew frustrated with the process of hearing about a movie heavily hyped by the site and yet hardly anyone could go and see it as it only had a few random screenings around Los Angeles and that was it… until a miracle happened last year and via viral marketing it became a shockingly huge hit and even was number one at the box office for a weekend, something I could have never predicted when I first heard about the almost no budget film back in ’07. Anyhow, I had fears about the sequel; it was being made very quickly so that it’d be out at this time, there is a different writer/director (although the guy who came up with it all, Oren Peli, would still be on as a producer) and just by history most horror sequels are crap compared to the originals. Just look at the Blair Witch Project sequel; I’d never seen it but the more traditional film to the found footage original is HATED by most horror fans.
But, it was the opportunity to see the first PA and the sequel back to back last night (which was done at various locations across the country) made me go out and see it… and this was a very wise choice on my part. The first movie had a real small crowd show up at the huge auditorium at Winter Park. The sequel drew a larger crowd but it still looked small in such a large room. Also, I sat far away from everyone else; I don’t know why but it made me feel like I had leprosy or something! Anyway, the crowd seemed to enjoy PA2 quite a bit, yelling and shrieking at all the jump scares and freaking out during the night scenes and all the tension those scenes had. When the end credits hit-after a long moment of just a black screen-there were many relieved sighs. The film also worked on me and at least at the moment I’d say it’s a little better than the first. It’s very similar to the first but a fresh spin it put on things with the focus being on a family rather than a two person couple and you get some security camera footage in the house along with a handheld camera.
I’m not sure how much I should reveal here, but the family in question is actually the sister of Katie (Featherston) and it takes place at the same time as the first Paranormal Activity. The two movies go together very well and some things in the first are elaborated upon here (such as learning more about the demon in question) and a viewing of the original movie before you see this one may not be the worst idea. Revealing much more than that about the story would probably ruin things so I’ll shut up about that.
On another topic, though, if you were a fan of the busty Katie, then you should enjoy the one scene she has where you see her in a bikini top. I didn’t complain about that scene myself!
So, if you loved the original, you should see this with a crowd and enjoy the scares and frights with an audience; if you hated the first (and I know some personally who did; that disappoints me but to each their own) then your opinion on this won’t change as the two are very similar. As I'm a fan of the first... that's why I dug this and I think it's pretty incredible to think that many IMAX screens are showing this for the rest of the month. Again, no way could I have predicted back in '07 that there would be a sequel to this, and I could see it on an IMAX screen, whether a legit one or a much smaller one.
I’ll be back Monday night with a new review.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Halloween II
Halloweeen II (1981)
Runtime: 93 minutes
Directed by: Rick Rosenthal
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, Charles Cyphers, Lance Guest
From: Universal
No, I’m not writing about the apparently awful Rob Zombie Halloween II that came out last year. Rather, this is the first sequel to the legendary original Halloween, a movie I haven’t seen recently but remember pretty well as I’ve seen it on a few occasions. Back in 2007 there was a special one night only 20th anniversary screening so I got to watch it on the big screen. However, I’ve only seen this particular film once, at least ten years ago on a VHS tape! I really didn’t remember too much about it. I more remember “The Halloween that has nothing to do with Michael Myers (III) and the fourth and fifth in the series (with Danielle Harris; believe it or not, on another night there was a nationwide deal where amazingly those two movies in the series were shown back to back on the big screen) rather than this one. I haven’t seen the others in the series and believe me, Rob Zombie’s contributions to the series don’t count at all.
The plot to this is rather simple; it starts right after the first one ends… which if you don’t remember, Laurie Strode (Curtis) is able to escape Myers after Dr. Loomis (Pleasence) shoots him six times and falls off a balcony, but then vanishes. This movie has Laurie going to the hospital-which is staffed by a totally incompetent crew-but Michael discovers where she’s at. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis and Sheriff Brackett (Cyphers) are on the hunt for him.
This movie was produced and written by John Carpenter and Deborah Hill so you’d hope that two of the main forces behind the original could work their magic again. Well… there were some creepy and chilling moments (e.g., there’s a scene where in the background a character gets strangled by Michael and in the foreground there’s another character, totally oblivious to what’s going on behind them) but far too often the film ends up being disjointed, confused, and just plain dumb. You’re happy to see Michael kill some of those doofuses, and I don’t know if that was supposed to be the plan. And then there’s a rather ridiculous finale, especially when you consider the subsequent sequels. Alas, tis a shame…
There is one interesting thing I do have to mention, and it revolves around the back of the DVD case for this motion picture; I rented this from Blockbuster recently and as with most of their rentals the DVD’s come in their original case. On it I suddenly noticed quite the blatant spoiler, and yes I’ll be revealing it but I’m sure that most of you already know it by now.
I have no idea how this got out and Universal didn't notice it, but if you read the blurb on the back of the DVD, it says the following:
"It seems the inhuman Michael Myers is still very much alive and out for more revenge as he stalks the deserted halls of the hospital where his sister lays waiting. As he gets closer and close to his terrified target, Dr. Loomis discovers the chilling mystery behind the crazy psychopath's savage actions."
Um, idiots at Universal... not only did you spoil the "chilling mystery" but then right after you did so, you bragged that the movie HAD a "chilling mystery"! I couldn't believe it when I realized they made such an obvious mistake and it wasn't caught by anyone before it was released. Yes, it is true that the mystery is the relationship between Michael and Laurie (something that was later admitted to be a mistake), but to spoil it like that was not something I was expecting.
I'll be back Friday night with a new review.
Runtime: 93 minutes
Directed by: Rick Rosenthal
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, Charles Cyphers, Lance Guest
From: Universal
No, I’m not writing about the apparently awful Rob Zombie Halloween II that came out last year. Rather, this is the first sequel to the legendary original Halloween, a movie I haven’t seen recently but remember pretty well as I’ve seen it on a few occasions. Back in 2007 there was a special one night only 20th anniversary screening so I got to watch it on the big screen. However, I’ve only seen this particular film once, at least ten years ago on a VHS tape! I really didn’t remember too much about it. I more remember “The Halloween that has nothing to do with Michael Myers (III) and the fourth and fifth in the series (with Danielle Harris; believe it or not, on another night there was a nationwide deal where amazingly those two movies in the series were shown back to back on the big screen) rather than this one. I haven’t seen the others in the series and believe me, Rob Zombie’s contributions to the series don’t count at all.
The plot to this is rather simple; it starts right after the first one ends… which if you don’t remember, Laurie Strode (Curtis) is able to escape Myers after Dr. Loomis (Pleasence) shoots him six times and falls off a balcony, but then vanishes. This movie has Laurie going to the hospital-which is staffed by a totally incompetent crew-but Michael discovers where she’s at. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis and Sheriff Brackett (Cyphers) are on the hunt for him.
This movie was produced and written by John Carpenter and Deborah Hill so you’d hope that two of the main forces behind the original could work their magic again. Well… there were some creepy and chilling moments (e.g., there’s a scene where in the background a character gets strangled by Michael and in the foreground there’s another character, totally oblivious to what’s going on behind them) but far too often the film ends up being disjointed, confused, and just plain dumb. You’re happy to see Michael kill some of those doofuses, and I don’t know if that was supposed to be the plan. And then there’s a rather ridiculous finale, especially when you consider the subsequent sequels. Alas, tis a shame…
There is one interesting thing I do have to mention, and it revolves around the back of the DVD case for this motion picture; I rented this from Blockbuster recently and as with most of their rentals the DVD’s come in their original case. On it I suddenly noticed quite the blatant spoiler, and yes I’ll be revealing it but I’m sure that most of you already know it by now.
I have no idea how this got out and Universal didn't notice it, but if you read the blurb on the back of the DVD, it says the following:
"It seems the inhuman Michael Myers is still very much alive and out for more revenge as he stalks the deserted halls of the hospital where his sister lays waiting. As he gets closer and close to his terrified target, Dr. Loomis discovers the chilling mystery behind the crazy psychopath's savage actions."
Um, idiots at Universal... not only did you spoil the "chilling mystery" but then right after you did so, you bragged that the movie HAD a "chilling mystery"! I couldn't believe it when I realized they made such an obvious mistake and it wasn't caught by anyone before it was released. Yes, it is true that the mystery is the relationship between Michael and Laurie (something that was later admitted to be a mistake), but to spoil it like that was not something I was expecting.
I'll be back Friday night with a new review.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Ax 'Em
Ax Em (1992)
Runtime: 71 minutes
“Directed” by: Michael Mfume
“Starring”: Michael Mfume, Sandra Pulley, Joe Clair, Racquel Price
From: Nubian Prince Pictures
Here’s a rather unique review for today. Not only is it more story-telling than talking about the actual movie, but the movie itself has to be the worst I’ve ever seen!
It all begins in the late 90’s, when a relative of mine gave my family and I a stack of old videotapes; many of them were taped off of the pay cable channels in the 80’s, which is pretty awesome. However-and I’ll never know how he got it-the stack also had an all-black horror movie called The Weekend It Lives. It was awful! It looked to be a student film and it was as awful as can be. The dialogue could hardly be heard, the “special” effects weren’t all that special, things dragged on forever, and it was often howlingly bad when it wasn’t painfully bad.
A few years later on a messageboard I see a thread where people are talking about a movie called Ax ‘Em. I look it over and then came to a horrifying conclusion; The Weekend It Lives was retitled Ax ‘Em and released on DVD! THAT movie getting a DVD release left me flabbergasted. But I never tracked that down.
Until, early this year when the Blockbuster located a few miles from me closed down (there’s still another one open, it’s just farther away) and one of the movies still on sale for a few bucks was Ax ‘Em. So, I finally got it and watched it. Aside from some minor things and it being shortened (not that it helped at all), it’s about the same as the original VHS tape.
By the way, in some strange trivia, the director/star’s father is Kweisi Mfume, a former President/CEO of the NAACP and a former Congressman! No kidding.
The movie is all about a group of African-American college students who go to a cabin for the weekend, but are attacked by a giant hulking killer who I presume is undead (I mean, his skin IS blue! Although, maybe he just uses colloidal silver…); that’s all you really need to know about the plot. The killer’s backstory is not important at all, trust me.
Besides the major problems I addressed already, there’s also such great moments as some of the awful stereotypes that are presented (shocking to me given who his dad is), the look of the film stock changing often-and all of it looking so awful it appears as if the film camera was a JVC camcorder from about 1985 or so. At least once you HEAR the director yell “Cut!” before the next scene starts. Characters often talk over each other, making the sound issues even worse.
If you’re extremely brave, you can actually watch the movie on YouTube! It takes a lot of nerve. Lest you don’t believe me, check out other reviews from the likes of Something Awful and Black Horror Movies. It is as bad as I’m saying it is! Why this movie (allegedly with a budget of SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS) ever made it past the student film stage is beyond my comprehension, except that it’s a part of the small “black horror movie” subgenre and there aren’t enough of those around. Well, I say it’s more a giant insult to that subgenre than anything else.
I'll be back Wednesday night, and I promise I'll review a movie far better than this one.
Runtime: 71 minutes
“Directed” by: Michael Mfume
“Starring”: Michael Mfume, Sandra Pulley, Joe Clair, Racquel Price
From: Nubian Prince Pictures
Here’s a rather unique review for today. Not only is it more story-telling than talking about the actual movie, but the movie itself has to be the worst I’ve ever seen!
It all begins in the late 90’s, when a relative of mine gave my family and I a stack of old videotapes; many of them were taped off of the pay cable channels in the 80’s, which is pretty awesome. However-and I’ll never know how he got it-the stack also had an all-black horror movie called The Weekend It Lives. It was awful! It looked to be a student film and it was as awful as can be. The dialogue could hardly be heard, the “special” effects weren’t all that special, things dragged on forever, and it was often howlingly bad when it wasn’t painfully bad.
A few years later on a messageboard I see a thread where people are talking about a movie called Ax ‘Em. I look it over and then came to a horrifying conclusion; The Weekend It Lives was retitled Ax ‘Em and released on DVD! THAT movie getting a DVD release left me flabbergasted. But I never tracked that down.
Until, early this year when the Blockbuster located a few miles from me closed down (there’s still another one open, it’s just farther away) and one of the movies still on sale for a few bucks was Ax ‘Em. So, I finally got it and watched it. Aside from some minor things and it being shortened (not that it helped at all), it’s about the same as the original VHS tape.
By the way, in some strange trivia, the director/star’s father is Kweisi Mfume, a former President/CEO of the NAACP and a former Congressman! No kidding.
The movie is all about a group of African-American college students who go to a cabin for the weekend, but are attacked by a giant hulking killer who I presume is undead (I mean, his skin IS blue! Although, maybe he just uses colloidal silver…); that’s all you really need to know about the plot. The killer’s backstory is not important at all, trust me.
Besides the major problems I addressed already, there’s also such great moments as some of the awful stereotypes that are presented (shocking to me given who his dad is), the look of the film stock changing often-and all of it looking so awful it appears as if the film camera was a JVC camcorder from about 1985 or so. At least once you HEAR the director yell “Cut!” before the next scene starts. Characters often talk over each other, making the sound issues even worse.
If you’re extremely brave, you can actually watch the movie on YouTube! It takes a lot of nerve. Lest you don’t believe me, check out other reviews from the likes of Something Awful and Black Horror Movies. It is as bad as I’m saying it is! Why this movie (allegedly with a budget of SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS) ever made it past the student film stage is beyond my comprehension, except that it’s a part of the small “black horror movie” subgenre and there aren’t enough of those around. Well, I say it’s more a giant insult to that subgenre than anything else.
I'll be back Wednesday night, and I promise I'll review a movie far better than this one.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
Runtime: 89 minutes
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Russ Grieve, Virginia Vincent, Robert Houston, James Whitworth, Michael Berryman
From: Blood Relations Co.
Here’s a movie that is probably well-known now amongst the general public for the remake and its sequel that were made back in the ’00, but I haven’t seen those before, nor did I see this movie… until earlier today. I picked it up at the local Blockbuster and finally viewed it. I knew the basic details and saw brief clips of the movie, but that was it.
This is about a family from Ohio who goes on vacation in California but take a detour into the middle of nowhere Nevada; a relative apparently granted a silver mine to them long ago and they want to claim it. It being a Chrysler Station Wagon towing a camper, there’s a mishap in the middle of the desert and they get stranded. From there they meet up with a crazed family of cannibals living in the desert, and mayhem ensues.
Yeah, I realized that the idea of cannibals being able to live out in the middle of nowhere and once in a blue moon catch some humans (or dogs) and otherwise sustaining on… well, something… is not something to spend a lot of time thinking about logically. However, the movie is pretty tense and it works very well. The film print (even in its 2003 DVD release) looks rather poor upconverted on my Blu-Ray player, but that actually helps to add to the 70’s-ness of it. There are some pretty terrifying moments and the villains are memorable, especially the distinctive Pluto (Berryman). Michael Berryman was born with some genetic conditions which result in him looking the way he does and thus makes him perfect for being the scary bad guy or the henchman in this genre.
Anyhow, the movie has raw intensity in spades and you can tell that this family is up s***’s creek and Jesus Christ in a crunch they have to resort to becoming animalistic themselves to try and survive. It’s something I recommend seeing if you haven’t already. Sure, there’s some goofiness but that was mainly its 70’s charm, from the guy who looks like Sonny Bono to the fashion to the phrase “Goddamn” being used often by one character and the phrase “Jesus Christ in a crunch” being uttered.
I have no clue how good the remake and its sequel are; I’ve heard mixed reviews to that. I can tell you that the sequel to THIS movie, though, is by all accounts God-awful and filled with flashbacks to the original to pad time. It was a total cash grab by Craven and that’s unfortunate.
One interesting thing about the movie is that the character of Bobby (Houston) is clearly a homosexual and yet it’s just that and it’s not addressed. Before I looked online I thought it was rather curious. He sounds like he’s gay, wore short yellow shorts in the beginning, and randomly did gymnastics. It turns out that Robert Houston is in real life a homosexual so it’s not like it was unintended homoeroticism or whatever. So you have to assume that the character of Bobby was a homosexual and it was totally random and didn’t mean anything to the movie. At least there was no stereotyping and he had to swish around or whatever. He managed to deliver a fine performance; I was just surprised when I first heard him speak, that’s all…
Plus, he gets cool points in my book for being a big part in putting together the movie Shogun Assassin, which Americanizes and combines the first two movies in the Lone Wolf & Cub series, which is a Japanese magna that was adapted into a set of six movies in the 70’s. I’ve only seen Shogun and the first movie in the Lone Wolf series, but it’s awesome sword-wielding bloody greatness. Plus, the theme to Shogun Assassin is tremendous.
I’ll be back Friday night with a new review.
Runtime: 89 minutes
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Russ Grieve, Virginia Vincent, Robert Houston, James Whitworth, Michael Berryman
From: Blood Relations Co.
Here’s a movie that is probably well-known now amongst the general public for the remake and its sequel that were made back in the ’00, but I haven’t seen those before, nor did I see this movie… until earlier today. I picked it up at the local Blockbuster and finally viewed it. I knew the basic details and saw brief clips of the movie, but that was it.
This is about a family from Ohio who goes on vacation in California but take a detour into the middle of nowhere Nevada; a relative apparently granted a silver mine to them long ago and they want to claim it. It being a Chrysler Station Wagon towing a camper, there’s a mishap in the middle of the desert and they get stranded. From there they meet up with a crazed family of cannibals living in the desert, and mayhem ensues.
Yeah, I realized that the idea of cannibals being able to live out in the middle of nowhere and once in a blue moon catch some humans (or dogs) and otherwise sustaining on… well, something… is not something to spend a lot of time thinking about logically. However, the movie is pretty tense and it works very well. The film print (even in its 2003 DVD release) looks rather poor upconverted on my Blu-Ray player, but that actually helps to add to the 70’s-ness of it. There are some pretty terrifying moments and the villains are memorable, especially the distinctive Pluto (Berryman). Michael Berryman was born with some genetic conditions which result in him looking the way he does and thus makes him perfect for being the scary bad guy or the henchman in this genre.
Anyhow, the movie has raw intensity in spades and you can tell that this family is up s***’s creek and Jesus Christ in a crunch they have to resort to becoming animalistic themselves to try and survive. It’s something I recommend seeing if you haven’t already. Sure, there’s some goofiness but that was mainly its 70’s charm, from the guy who looks like Sonny Bono to the fashion to the phrase “Goddamn” being used often by one character and the phrase “Jesus Christ in a crunch” being uttered.
I have no clue how good the remake and its sequel are; I’ve heard mixed reviews to that. I can tell you that the sequel to THIS movie, though, is by all accounts God-awful and filled with flashbacks to the original to pad time. It was a total cash grab by Craven and that’s unfortunate.
One interesting thing about the movie is that the character of Bobby (Houston) is clearly a homosexual and yet it’s just that and it’s not addressed. Before I looked online I thought it was rather curious. He sounds like he’s gay, wore short yellow shorts in the beginning, and randomly did gymnastics. It turns out that Robert Houston is in real life a homosexual so it’s not like it was unintended homoeroticism or whatever. So you have to assume that the character of Bobby was a homosexual and it was totally random and didn’t mean anything to the movie. At least there was no stereotyping and he had to swish around or whatever. He managed to deliver a fine performance; I was just surprised when I first heard him speak, that’s all…
Plus, he gets cool points in my book for being a big part in putting together the movie Shogun Assassin, which Americanizes and combines the first two movies in the Lone Wolf & Cub series, which is a Japanese magna that was adapted into a set of six movies in the 70’s. I’ve only seen Shogun and the first movie in the Lone Wolf series, but it’s awesome sword-wielding bloody greatness. Plus, the theme to Shogun Assassin is tremendous.
I’ll be back Friday night with a new review.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Runtime: 83 minutes
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Starring: Marilyn Burns, Allen Danzinger, Paul A. Partain, Gunnar Hansen
From: Vortex
I know, another famous horror movie that I’m talking about here, and it’s pretty difficult to think of anything new and fresh to say about this film (recently voted by a British magazine as the best movie ever in the genre), but I picked this for a few reasons. It wasn’t too long ago that I saw this again. Someday I’ll talk about some of its sequels-or maybe I’ll even see one of the two remake movies… but I do realize they don’t have the best reputation. I was going to watch something today online (not technically legal, but hey, who cares?) but plans changed. I do promise that the rest of the month I’ll try to be more obscure/interesting with my horror movie reviews.
Now, I have seen the second and third movie in this series; I say that the second one is wildly overrated in some circles. It’s actually a horror/comedy (!) and much of the comedy didn’t work for me. Meanwhile, the more serious third one-at least in unrated form-is wildly underrated. One of these days I’ll explain why in further detail.
As for this movie, it is low-budget greatness. Indeed, a lot of its effectiveness is that not only was it unnerving the entire time, but it looking like a low-rent print no matter which format its in makes things very creepy. It’s not slick, in other words. It’s brutally simple in various ways. Five young people (including a physically handicapped person in a wheelchair) visit a old homestead in the middle of nowhere Texas that belonged to the relatives of two of the five. They run into a wacked-out hitchhiker who gets thrown out after a straight razor attack. They find the homestead but stuff happens and a nearby house is actually the lair of Leatherface (Hansen) and family. Once they meet…
The movie has a reputation for being excessively violent or what have you, but actually there’s hardly any gore at all. It’s just so intense and brutal it *seems* like it is a gorefest a la a Jason Voorhees motion picture.
From the beginning to the very end it’s so unnerving, from the narration (by John Larroquette! So the story goes, his payment for the narration… a joint! Swear to God that’s the story) to the opening shots of a rotting corpse. It doesn’t let up from there. If you haven’t seen this, it’s a must-see as it’s well-deserving of its reputation and its huge influence on the horror genre.
I'll be back Wednesday night; like I said, something more interesting will be reviewed that time.
Runtime: 83 minutes
Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Starring: Marilyn Burns, Allen Danzinger, Paul A. Partain, Gunnar Hansen
From: Vortex
I know, another famous horror movie that I’m talking about here, and it’s pretty difficult to think of anything new and fresh to say about this film (recently voted by a British magazine as the best movie ever in the genre), but I picked this for a few reasons. It wasn’t too long ago that I saw this again. Someday I’ll talk about some of its sequels-or maybe I’ll even see one of the two remake movies… but I do realize they don’t have the best reputation. I was going to watch something today online (not technically legal, but hey, who cares?) but plans changed. I do promise that the rest of the month I’ll try to be more obscure/interesting with my horror movie reviews.
Now, I have seen the second and third movie in this series; I say that the second one is wildly overrated in some circles. It’s actually a horror/comedy (!) and much of the comedy didn’t work for me. Meanwhile, the more serious third one-at least in unrated form-is wildly underrated. One of these days I’ll explain why in further detail.
As for this movie, it is low-budget greatness. Indeed, a lot of its effectiveness is that not only was it unnerving the entire time, but it looking like a low-rent print no matter which format its in makes things very creepy. It’s not slick, in other words. It’s brutally simple in various ways. Five young people (including a physically handicapped person in a wheelchair) visit a old homestead in the middle of nowhere Texas that belonged to the relatives of two of the five. They run into a wacked-out hitchhiker who gets thrown out after a straight razor attack. They find the homestead but stuff happens and a nearby house is actually the lair of Leatherface (Hansen) and family. Once they meet…
The movie has a reputation for being excessively violent or what have you, but actually there’s hardly any gore at all. It’s just so intense and brutal it *seems* like it is a gorefest a la a Jason Voorhees motion picture.
From the beginning to the very end it’s so unnerving, from the narration (by John Larroquette! So the story goes, his payment for the narration… a joint! Swear to God that’s the story) to the opening shots of a rotting corpse. It doesn’t let up from there. If you haven’t seen this, it’s a must-see as it’s well-deserving of its reputation and its huge influence on the horror genre.
I'll be back Wednesday night; like I said, something more interesting will be reviewed that time.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Evil Dead
The Evil Dead (1981)
Runtime: 85 minutes
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Hal Delrich, Betsy Baker, Sarah York
From: Renaissance Pictures
Before I get to talking about this classic movie, I do have to mention the unfortunate thing that Hatchet II first got pulled from theatres in Canada and then the United States. No one really knows for certain why it got pulled. I find that to be a little odd. I don’t know if the MPAA got mad, or if AMC got scared, or they weren’t happy with how lackluster it performed in the few days it was out, or what the deal is. No matter what the movie can later brag about it being “too intense for theatres!” or whatever. I don’t think it’s worth all that hype, but that is just me.
Now, here’s another horror movie famed for how intense it is and all the gross-out stuff it has; this time, though, the film deserves the hype. This real low-budget horror movie filmed in Tennessee for only a few hundred thousand dollars back in ’79 more than holds up today and that’s why it has a big cult of fans and that’s why Campbell is a cult icon and that’s why Raimi managed to go from this to directing huge movies like the Spiderman series. Believe it or not, last night was only the second time I’ve seen this. The first time was back in my college days in Illinois. I enjoyed it then as much as I do now. As for the other two movies in the series, I got pissed off with the sequel right away when for no reason they decided to briefly retell the first movie in the span of a few minutes AND totally change it around. Then, there was way too much comedy for me and I think the first one is much better. I never bothered with Army of Darkness as it just doesn’t look interesting to me. I’ll prefer this, thank you very much.
The story is simple; 5 Michigan State students spend some time in a remote cabin in Tennessee; things are spooky right away but things go to hell in a handbasket when they find an audiotape of a professor who used to live there. They play back part of the tape and it’s of chanting from an ancient book, the Necronomicon, i.e. The Book of the Dead. One by one the poor students start to get possessed and that’s when things get insane… and rather messy and filled with goo also. I won’t say much more than that as I don’t want to give any spoilers here. It’s that the movie is very well done and is intense and filled with dread throughout, not to mention the fancy camerawork that helps make the movie so good. There is also some very dark humor, but it’s funny and not a detriment or ruins the mood. Sure, this motion picture is so graphic that some parts would have to be cut out to get an R rating, but if you can tolerate that sort of thing, this is a must if you haven’t checked it out yet. It deserves the cult status it has.
I’ll be back Monday night with a new horror review.
Runtime: 85 minutes
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Hal Delrich, Betsy Baker, Sarah York
From: Renaissance Pictures
Before I get to talking about this classic movie, I do have to mention the unfortunate thing that Hatchet II first got pulled from theatres in Canada and then the United States. No one really knows for certain why it got pulled. I find that to be a little odd. I don’t know if the MPAA got mad, or if AMC got scared, or they weren’t happy with how lackluster it performed in the few days it was out, or what the deal is. No matter what the movie can later brag about it being “too intense for theatres!” or whatever. I don’t think it’s worth all that hype, but that is just me.
Now, here’s another horror movie famed for how intense it is and all the gross-out stuff it has; this time, though, the film deserves the hype. This real low-budget horror movie filmed in Tennessee for only a few hundred thousand dollars back in ’79 more than holds up today and that’s why it has a big cult of fans and that’s why Campbell is a cult icon and that’s why Raimi managed to go from this to directing huge movies like the Spiderman series. Believe it or not, last night was only the second time I’ve seen this. The first time was back in my college days in Illinois. I enjoyed it then as much as I do now. As for the other two movies in the series, I got pissed off with the sequel right away when for no reason they decided to briefly retell the first movie in the span of a few minutes AND totally change it around. Then, there was way too much comedy for me and I think the first one is much better. I never bothered with Army of Darkness as it just doesn’t look interesting to me. I’ll prefer this, thank you very much.
The story is simple; 5 Michigan State students spend some time in a remote cabin in Tennessee; things are spooky right away but things go to hell in a handbasket when they find an audiotape of a professor who used to live there. They play back part of the tape and it’s of chanting from an ancient book, the Necronomicon, i.e. The Book of the Dead. One by one the poor students start to get possessed and that’s when things get insane… and rather messy and filled with goo also. I won’t say much more than that as I don’t want to give any spoilers here. It’s that the movie is very well done and is intense and filled with dread throughout, not to mention the fancy camerawork that helps make the movie so good. There is also some very dark humor, but it’s funny and not a detriment or ruins the mood. Sure, this motion picture is so graphic that some parts would have to be cut out to get an R rating, but if you can tolerate that sort of thing, this is a must if you haven’t checked it out yet. It deserves the cult status it has.
I’ll be back Monday night with a new horror review.
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