Runtime: 144 minutes
Directed by: Andy Muschietti
Starring: Ezra Miller (unfortunately), Michael Keaton, Sasha Calle, Ron Livingston, Michael Shannon
From: Warner Brothers/DC
Well, at least I got to see Batfleck for the first time…
To reiterate what I said in my review of Man of Steel (only watched for the first time several weeks ago) a positive spoiler-filled review for The Flash was heard by me and enough was said for me to be enticed. I have no preference between Marvel and DC but Batman and Superman was experienced by me and well, moments known by many as “member berries” would be present. Turns out (IMO) that spoiler review overhyped the movie and even his warnings that “Ezra Miller in dual roles was a little much” did not prepare me for how putrid most of the “humor” was, how DC squandered their version of the multiverse, or how my declaration that “the CG in general looked so lousy” extremely undersells how awful it looked. It is even worse in a Dolby Cinema, believe me.
Ezra Miller as Barry Allen was an awkward dork who is (gasp!) a virgin; yet, at least I did feel bad that his dad was erroneously accused of murdering his mom, and Lord knows I understand the feeling of trying to bring back your mom. Thus, when he discovers he can go back in time… yes, it goes awry. Ezra Miller as Alternate Universe Bary Allen—now there is an irritating and insufferable character. There was someone I couldn’t stand, yet most of the movie is spent with him! It was neat seeing Keaton as Old Batman and Supergirl as a character was fine—however there should have been more time spent with her. As for Zod as a villain, the movie is predicated on you having seen Man of Steel before, so thank goodness I did. Hardly any time is spent with him.
The action (even w/ the CG) usually wasn’t bad and much to my amazement, a touching moment at the end between Barry and Mom got to me, due to what happened w/ me in 2020. Having “the feels” while watching THIS was astonishing; the movie is as much of a mess as I understand most DCEU pictures are. The highest compliment I can give is that this left me disappointed instead of enraged like I was with the appallingly bad Wonder Woman 1984. But Lord I wish that some “special appearances” would have been longer or have been more important (especially one years in the making that was made public by the director to attract fanboys, presumably), as that was one of the reasons I even went to the cinema.
For a movie where I had to implicitly support both Warner Brothers Discovery (a pair of middle fingers to an individual I’ll refer to as Voldemort) AND Ezra Miller… this did not need to be a theatrical experience for me. As stated before, the state of comic book movies and how they are now in their death throes-due to their own incompetence-I don’t feel bad in skipping most of those if it meant avoiding nonsensical plotting and “humor” that offends me. My feelings of nostalgia will likely lead me down another dark path soon---around this time next week I’ll be giving my thoughts on the new Indiana Jones!
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