Swordfish

Swordfish (2001)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Dominic Sena

Starring: John Travolta & his hair piece, Hugh Jackman, Don Cheadle, Halle Berry, Halle Berry's boobs

From: Warner Bros.

At least we got some great Paul Oakenfold music out of this mess.

Finally I get to see “that scene” w/ Halle Berry! I hate to frame it that way, but back in the day when this came out, that's what this was famous for (and probably still is), not to mention people I knew personally at the time thinking the same. What is “acceptable” back then has changed-we're all different now-and none of those personal pals are movie buffs like moi. Plus, the movie definitely objectified Berry & women in general more than my friends ever did. This played last night on the HDNet Movies channel, alongside a similar computer-themed movie from around the same time that I'll review later in February as I DVR'ed that while seeing this “live”.

In the past I've mentioned how some movies from the late 90's to early 2000's have a unique vibe, look and overall style comparable to nothing else. Not to be blasphemous, but Jesus H. Christ does that ever describe this, and it has aged SO poorly, more than any other picture of its time. The smug pretentiousness mixed in with such a ludicrous story-my God. It starts right from the opening scene, where we see John Travolta wear an astounding green/black suit w/ vertical soulpatch, silly hair piece and wacky black shades as he praises Dog Day Afternoon (I agree; that will be revisited later this month; there are a few films I know I'll see in February) while-get this-bashing bad modern Hollywood movies for among other things being unrealistic. Was it irony or by accident that this is unrealistic crap w/ bad dialogue and “short-sighted directing”? That tumble down the hill alone belies the implication that Swordfish is supposed to be taken seriously. From there we got some BAD CG which dated this even worse than the fashion and the yellow filter that is over most of the movie.

If there's credit to be given-at least to my pals-they thought this movie stunk at the time and Berry being topless was the most memorable aspect. To try and give this movie credit-at least besides the unintentional laughs-was being reminded of my life back in '01, from the fashion to the tech to the music. Actually, the highlight was the music that Paul Oakenfold provided for the soundtrack; there's a traditional score also but there's also new tunes from the legendary trance DJ. Some of them I had heard before, such as his remix of Afrikka Bambattaa & The Soulsonic Force's Planet Rock. What a shame that this wastes a talented cast but when the script is from someone who was partially or fully responsible for the likes of A Good Day to Die Hard & Sabotage... what a nonsense story that is just stump-dumb.