Runtime: 100 mystifying minutes
Directed by: Neil Breen
Starring:
Breen and a bunch of other obvious non-actors... most of them, at least
From: Neil Breen himself
On a busy day where this has to be posted early, what a 2,500th entry on Letterboxd for me to talk about!
That's right, I've reviewed 2,500 mostly movies here, but that also includes some shorts and cartoons. For having known of the madman known as Neil Breen, last night was the first time I had seen anything from this architect slash amateur filmmaker. It seems that for as long as there's been motion pictures there have been DIY productions, filmmakers who are off the grid and try their hardest to present legitimate productions and once in awhile the results are OK but it seems that usually the end product is something like The Room or Birdemic. He's made five motion pictures so far and from hearsay I know that like Fateful Findings, they are all comparable to something like The Room or Birdemic.
Breen certainly tries yet the entire experience was rather mystifying. Not only is the acting, editing, dialogue and plot progression all questionable if I am being at my most charitable, but I know that this is all like his other films in wish fulfillment; Old Neil just loves to play someone w/ superhuman powers who fights against corruption. In Fateful Findings, Dylan is your everyday computer scientist/novelist (or as he likes to say, “novel writer”) who has powers due to an odd experience as a child w/ a gal named Leah who soon then moved away... only she has returned and he swoons, despite already having a wife-with a rather unintelligible accent-who happens to have a problem w/ painkillers. Ostensibly this is about him “hacking” the government and corporations as he wants to expose those secrets. Actually, that's really only a plot point in the finale, which is so low-rent it is absurdly hilarious.
This is more about relationships and how a guy in his early 50's is playing much younger than his actual age as he gets to hook up with two attractive ladies. In addition, Dylan and Leah are buddies with another couple who themselves have a broken relationship... this leads to a moment that many won't care for. That couple have a stepdaughter who looks like she's 18 or 19... OF COURSE she has the hots for Dylan! Regrettably, I have to note that this is “typical guy behavior”. At first the story isn't so bad, although the acting and editing are. Then the further this progresses, the further it delves into lunacy and randomness the viewer attempts to piece together but typically we as the viewer are left out in the weeds. There is no shortage of inexplicable moments, the keystone highlight there being a scene involving salad-even if I tried to explain it, I couldn't.
Many directors have their motifs; this ranges from Tarantino and Hitchcock to Doris Wishman and probably even Coleman Francis. It appears as if Breen falls in the same category. Hopefully his other four pictures include the following:
* Abuse of books
* Abuse of laptops
* Bewildering salad scenes
* Shots of feet... specifically shoes. He's not QT
* Showing off the wealth you have, like your mansion or your old Ferrari
*
Most prominently, lines of dialogue that are either repeated a few
seconds later or is repeated with a synonym changing one word. It
happens a LOT
Like with the legendary DIY bad 21st century films I've already mentioned, Fateful Findings is something better seen than described. If you love such things then it is well worth a watch... one day far in the future his other work will be seen by me. Thankfully this is a half star motion picture like Birdemic or The Room in that it provides entertainment value, rather than bottom of the barrel travesties like Hatchet III or Loqueesha that is an agonizing experience I struggled to finish.
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