Thursday, May 6, 2021

The Emoji Movie!

The Emoji Movie (2017)

Runtime: 86 long, long minutes

Honestly, everyone involved with this should be ashamed of themselves

The first film I've ever DVR'ed; I swear this is true. I realize how preposterous it will sound when I say that until Tuesday I've never had a DVR in my entire life, but that is exactly the case. Who knows how often it will even be used, but of course I have seen others use one so I was interested to try it out. This “wonderful” motion picture was on the FXX Channel yesterday so that was programmed, and it played without a hitch. Of course, some would say I would have been better off had it not recorded...

Going in I expected this to be like the poop emoji, and that indeed it was. To be honest, it just seemed like a bad idea from the very concept... life in the smartphone of a dopey 14 year old boy and emoji being living things which can only express one emotion in their entire lives & Gene Meh (unfortunately voiced by T.J. Miller) is “broken” as he has multiple emotions. He has to go on the run to fix himself and while I am one of the few on the planet that doesn't love The Lego Movie, that did a similar concept better than this lame, vapid, dopey film where I only chuckled a few time and I usually groaned or rolled my eyes at this “entertainment”.

I get that smartphones have become popular for little kids in recent years-I have four little nephews, after all. However, I don't even know if the children will enjoy this crap. At least now I fully understand why many people have a strong dislike of James Corden between his character here and whatever the heck he was doing in Cats. As many have noted already, it is not in good taste to see a motion picture for the young ones heavily plug certain phone apps to the point that instructions are given on how to play Candy Crush & Just Dance... which of course is a console-only game.

I can only hope that none of my nephews have ever seen this dreck; at least I know there is plenty of worthwhile family entertainment just in these modern times... among other options, the majority of what Disney and Pixar have released in recent times. Don't be a fool like me and even give a shot to The Emoji Movie for ironic laughs; at least personally, there has to be literally thousands of films that range from stone cold classics to simply interesting that are far more worthy of my time rather than an infamous animated flick that people hated simply for its very conceptualization... and turned out to be something that needed to be far better just to be meh.

The biggest laugh I got: the movie having a “dungeon” where never-used emojis are stuck in. One of them was... an eggplant. Now, I know it is poppycock that a 14 year old boy won't use that emoji often in messages to a significant other or a potential significant other!

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