Thursday, September 13, 2018

Slice

Slice (2018)

Runtime: 83 long minutes

Directed by: Austin Vesely

Starring: Chance the Rapper, Zazie Beets, Rae Gray, Chris Parnell, Katherine Cunningham

From: A24

You know, it did not take me too long to realize why A24 washed their hands of this and returned the delivery to sender. Slice was unceremoniously dumped on VOD after it played for only one night in several cities. I have only seen a small amount of what A24 has put out... but this has to be the worst movie they've ever released; I hated this undercooked piece of pie. This is not a case of pizza being like sex where even bad ones are still good because it's pizza or sex.

I know this has its fans... I just wish I understood why. Even the general conceit was lost on me; the city of Kingfisher designates an area called Ghost Town where various spooky things live... yet the “ghosts” we see look more like zombies and they randomly roam around the “normal” parts of town and some even have jobs... none of this crap is explained, by the way, so I quickly stopped caring. There is also Hannibal Buress as “The Big Cheese” who deals in... pieces of paper with cheese drawn on it? Of course that is not explained either. The drivers at a pizza place are being murdered, and it appears to be connected with a similar series of murders from a few years ago, allegedly done by a werewolf. That is about as coherent as this gigantic mess gets, which is not only poorly made, but both storylines and characters are picked up and dropped as if you tried to get a pizza out of the oven with your bare hands.

In case it was not obvious from what I said about drugs as piece of paper, the “humor” in this was AWFUL. The “laughs” I got were a stray chuckle or two, and that was it. Not even people like Paul Scheer offered any amusement. This was a painful 82 minute film where most of the characters were incredibly grating and one-note, the story was both confused and bland, & the horror elements are so incredibly weak. As for Chance the Rapper and his acting, he's a good rapper... or so I have heard. I couldn't name you one of his songs but I am sure his tunes are better than his performance here.

Sure, the animated opening credits are cute and the synth score was neat and all... more importantly, why is this modern world (modern computers are used) filled with retro vehicles, televisions, etc. It was like I was watching It Follows again, which I did not love yet was far better than this. And why was Joe Keery in such a nothing of a role? Also, why was he dressed as if he was still playing Steve Harrington... all it made me do was wish I could be watching Stranger Things again. Perhaps you'll get more out of this than I did; me, chowing down on some slices and watching many other things would be much preferable to this misfire.

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