Monday, January 2, 2017

Manos: The Hand Of Fate

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Runtime: A long agonizing 70 minutes

Directed by: Harold P. Warren

Starring: Harold P. Warren, Tom Neyman (RIP), John Reynolds, Diane Adelson, Jacky Neyman Jones

From: Sun City Films

This is in fact something I've seen before, both MST3K and in its original form; what a horrible movie this is. I talk all about it below: 

Lord, what a “the first movie of 2017” this is for me.

Of course I have seen the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode which lifted this from the pits of hell that rest all the low-fi movies from the past that are probably comparable in quality to this and made it one of the worst movies ever made that has some renown and has been seen by enough people. Hell, this is not the first time I had seen the original movie without Joel and the Bots. But I imagine it will be the last time.

I imagine many are familiar with how the movie came about: Harold P. Warren was an insurance salesman in El Paso, Texas and also sold fertilizer. He was a bit player on the TV show Route 66, where he met famed screenwriter Sterling Silliphant. Warren thought that movie-making was easy and he could do it himself. He made a bet with Sterling and while he technically won because he made something that got released, he discovered how difficult is is to make any sort of motion picture.

The plot revolves around a couple, a little girl and their small dog who are on vacation and they end up stuck at a weird lodge which is populated by some very weird people; turns out, it's a cult led by The Master (Tom Neyman, who just passed away less than 2 months ago) who has multiple wives... I imagine many have seen the MST3K episode-which is the ideal way to see this, really-and know how putrid it is between the performances, the editing, and overall filmmaking; all the sound was done in post-production and “continuity” is a foreign term. I know all these people tried their hardest with what little they had but that said, this is still horrendously bad and a long 70 minutes filled with random non sequitur moments, long scenes of driving, and overall ineptitude.

In recent years various people have tried to make sequels and even a prequel to this but it hasn't happened. I wouldn't mind a remake myself; maybe if done competently the general story could make for an alright watch. It may be nice for the Warren family as well. As is, at least this isn't the most excruciating movie I have ever seen or one that inspired the most anger; yet, because of sheer incompetency I still have to give it the lowest possible rating.

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