Arena

Arena (1989)

Runtime: 97 minutes

Directed by: Peter Manoogian

Starring: Paul Satterfield, Hamilton Camp, Claudia Christian, Shari Shattuck

From: Empire Pictures

Here is a movie whose cover I remember seeing as a young kid at the videostore way back when. I was inspired to watch the movie from listening to a review of it on the Bad Movie Fiends podcast. That particular episode is here if you want to hear a detailed spoiler-filled recap of that movie. I found the movie and watched it on YouTube, but “shhh” on that.

Basically, this low-budget faire is the Rocky sort of boxing story but it’s set in the future in space, and it’s more like kickboxing or even what would now be called MMA. It’s a standard sort of thing: there’s a dominant champion who can’t be beaten, and he’s controlled by an evil dude. Steve Armstrong (Satterfield, who looks a LOT like Christopher Reeve, but with blonde hair) is a short-order cook on the space station where the fights take place. Steve gets into a fight himself at the diner, so he gets fired and doesn’t even have enough money to go back to Earth. He gets convinced by four-armed Shorty (Camp) and manager Quinn (Christian) that he should become a fighter. He does, and as he becomes more successful, he gets more attention, both good and bad.

As you can see, the plot itself is rather standard. Yet, it’s still entertaining to watch. There’s comedy, both intentional and unintentional. There are some interesting touches which makes things entertaining despite the fact that you can really tell at some points it’s low-budget. You get to see a hologram of a girl who sings songs, a la The Star Wars Holiday Special, something which I may very well review for the holiday season this year. That was more weird than anything else but at least they were trying here.

At least the creatures for the most part look fine. My favorite was Stitches, a creature the same color at Thing from The Fantastic Four and looking like a cross between an armadillo and alligator, and also with crab claws. And he’s the training partner of Steve! Not to mention, he speaks English. It’s only a small role for that creature; as mentioned by the BMF guys, it’d be great if Stitches would have had a bigger role, and if he would have been buddy-buddy with Steve, the two “cruising for chicks” or what have you.

It’d be pretty rad if there was a modern remake of this where it’d be straight-up MMA action you get to see with various creatures fighting against each other. That could be money if done right. For now, though, if you like goofily entertaining low-budget action, check it out. What goes on in the ring isn’t the only fighting/action you get to see.

I’ll be back Monday night with a new review.