The Poseidon Adventure

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Runtime: 117 minutes

Directed by: Ronald Neame

Starring: The expected all-star cast for a disaster movie

From: 20^th Century Fox

What a shame that some ghouls have dogged Gene Hackman as of late for what he wears in 2024. He's 94 years old and doesn't deserve to be harassed like that. Thankfully most were outraged by the actions of those bastards. I'm glad he can still get out and purchase a soda alongside a slice of apple pie. It won't be a trend but after watching a disaster movie the previous night, it only made sense for me to comment on Hackman and also finally discuss one of the most famous genre examples.

It had a simple premise: because of scummy owners, the ship S.S. Poseidon flips over because of a massive tidal wave; Ol' Gene plays a reverend (!) but is a “hip” and “modern” example; he leads those few that decide to follow him rather than sit around and wait. Ernest Borgnine plays a cop who of course comes into conflict with the reverend; at times it's understandable why it may seem foolish to blindly follow him with any confidence. The other famous faces include Shelley Winters, Jack Albertson, Stella Stevens, Red Buttons, Roddy McDowall and Leslie Nielsen. There are other conflicts also but despite some cliché and dated elements, at least most of the characters (even the two children) have at least one shining moment.

As it is a genre example, that means the viewer shouldn't expect all of the name talent to survive by the end. That unpredictability does help, along with filming those scenes of peril and adventure on actual sets instead of it being phony-looking CG crap. There's plenty the small phalanx of people has to endure before climbing up to the bottom of the ship on the hope someone will rescue them. A nice John Williams score is also an asset; as for the Oscar-winning song The Morning After... 70's soft-rock cheese it was. That is a compliment, by the way.

What a formula there was for the disaster movie, from the casts to the effects and sometimes, attempting to win the Oscar for Best Song. Irwin Allen was involved w/ many of those, and if this wasn't his best then it was his most famous example.

The Cassandra Crossing

The Cassandra Crossing (1976)

Runtime: 129 minutes

Directed by: George P. Cosmatos

Starring: An all-star cast… and OJ Simpson

From: Several different European companies

No, I won’t be saying “RIP OJ Simpson.” I’ve known of George P. Cosmastos’ The Cassandra Crossing for years now (for some reason, it started receiving more attention starting in 2020…) and this gave me the push to finally check it out. The whole death of Nicole Brown & Ronald Goldman to the criminal trial of Simpson and his acquittal-which was due to the botched prosecution and not because he was innocent-was during my early teen years. Would you believe that the verdict was shown during school live? It is true and I know it happened across the country. You wouldn’t believe how big the trial was unless you were alive & remembered it; thank goodness social media wasn’t a thing back then. I don’t have sympathy for Simpson suffering from prostate cancer then passing away on Wednesday.

But back to the movies. I’ve discussed The Naked Gun movies before along with The Towering Inferno & Capricorn One so instead I went with the picture about… the Americans holding a plague at the Not World Health Organization in Geneva so three Swedes attempt to blow the building up but it is botched and one of the terrorists escapes on a train. How do they prevent the plague from leaving the train? This was a European production so no surprise the Americans were to blame. 

The movie also belongs in the disaster genre as this was hot s--- in the 70’s, so it is an all-star cast. There’s:

Sophia Loren; her husband was one of the producers
Martin Sheen, sporting a tremendous head of hair
Richard Harris
Lee Strasberg
Ava Gardner
Alida Valli
John Phillip Law
Euro genre star Ray Lovelock
Lionel Stander
Ingrid Thulin
And even Burt Lancaster

This movie made me utter some phrases I never thought would have been possible. They included “OJ Simpson shared several scenes w/ Lee Strasberg,” “Wait a minute, OJ Simpson plays a PRIEST?!” & “Ava Gardner was a rich COUGAR in her love affair with Martin Sheen”! As others have noted, the movie by design was rather low stakes in the first two acts. It is not loaded with incident as the drama revolves around who does & doesn’t exhibit signs of being infected by the plague. The final act has the stakes raised-I’d say so-but The Cassandra Crossing (named so as that’s what they call a rickety old bridge the train has to cross to reach the zone of quarantine) doesn’t rise above being just fine.

The film does have some bizarre moments when it comes to the medical field and perhaps it wasn’t in great taste to have Strasberg as a Holocaust survivor and the zone of quarantine be a… concentration camp. Admittedly, many disaster films could be nitpicked for its storytelling or logic. The film is still fine as an example in the genre. Holy cow, what a turn it takes in the final act, and I’ll say no more. As loony as this movie becomes, there’s still the nice cast, the drama, the Jerry Goldsmith score that as sometimes happened, at times really carried the film.

The movie is not in the upper echelon of disaster pictures but was still fine as a 2 hour curio.

Four Men and a Prayer

Four Men and a Prayer (1938)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: John Ford

Starring: Many famous faces, as described below

From: 20th Century Fox

Minor John Ford, but still intriguing. After all, I know some mutuals on Letterboxd will have their ears perk up when they hear that the plot is that British Army officer C. Aubrey Smith is dishonorably discharged from service in India, his sons George Sanders, David Niven, Richard Greene & William Henry come together to investigate their father being railroaded in a tale also involving Loretta Young, Alan Hale, John Carradine, Barry Fitzgerald and Reginald Denny: they will want to hear my opinion. The movie can be found on YouTube but it was easier to DVR a showing on the Fox Movie Channel a few weeks ago.

The cast is swell and as a LOT happens in 85 minutes (it was based on a novel, according to the opening credits) it is never dull. Yet, it does seem overstuffed at the same time as the characters split up to investigate, thus several exotic locations are visited… or recreated on a soundstage, to be exact. You probably wouldn’t think that a Ford trademark-a bar fight-would appear here, but you’d be mistaken. An actual massacre was for certain NOT on my BINGO card yet this happened in a film that also included a romance, Fitzgerald acting wacky and time spent in a banana republic in what was nominally a mystery/adventure picture.

In fact, at times the movie was bewildering and I did not love the story as presented. Those points noted, I can still say this was fine due to Ford’s direction, the famous faces, and some wild moments. Young seems shoehorned in and the movie is not one I ever need to see again. It’s best for completionists of the director and/or one of the main stars. That’s unless you want to hear Niven speak like Donald Duck (not only do I have no idea, no one else does either) or see him taking a bath.

The First Omen

The First Omen (2024)

79% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 139 reviews)

Runtime: 121 minutes

Directed by: Arkasha Stevenson

Starring: Nell Tiger Free (what a name), Ralph Ineson, Sonia Braga, Tawfeek Barhom, Maria Caballero

From: 20^th Century Studios

I had to go through Hell to see this movie.

I first saw the movie at AMC at Disney Springs… but had to leave before the first act even concluded due to how bad the crowd was (this is NOT the movie you want to view with a Troglodyte audience) and left so I could attend the late showing of this at my town’s local cinema instead. Yet another time having the AMC A-List app is nice; the cost wasn’t as high as it could have been, although the inconvenience…

It’s just a shame that hardcore horror fans tend to be awesome people, yet the genre seems to attract some of the biggest jackasses to theatrical screenings. Theater etiquette hasn’t always been great this year; too many mouthbreathers either flapping their jowls or dead-eye looking at their phones constantly. I thought about making a scene before leaving but in hindsight, discretion & my storming off without a word was the right move.

To answer two questions right away:

* I only saw parts of the made for cable Omen movie; otherwise, I can comment on the entire movie franchise. The OG is very good, the second is fine while The Final Conflict is only OK, despite the best efforts of Sam Neill. The 2006 remake is also only OK; in many regards it was a Xerox copy of the original film, just not done as well and featuring some rather poor CG.
* I’ve not tackled Immaculate, despite Syd… I mean, despite the similarities to this movie. At home one day I’ll create the obvious double-feature.

Not every narrative decision in The First Omen sat well w/ me; at least one point had to come via the dreaded “studio notes” rather than the intentions of director Arkasha Stevenson; this being a feature film debut was surprising given how assured most of it was. Be that as it may, I still found this prequel to be pretty good-chronicling young Margaret as she moves to a Rome orphanage in 1971 for training to become a nun. She bonds w/ a troubled young girl, and I won’t go more in-depth than that.

One key aspect: there are some legitimate scares. Sure, there’s more than one of the jump-scare variety. That said, there’s also some horrifying imagery and (admitted by the filmmakers) a homage to a legendary scene in 80’s Euro-horror. Another aspect is the turmoil in the country at the time. That was accurate (it’s known as the Time of Lead) & was a major reason why the genre fare was not only so wild, it was pessimistic.

The message of “a woman having autonomy over her body” is presented in a way that wasn’t… preachy (pun intended); in a refreshing break from too many Hollywood movies these days, there isn’t any lecturing over controversial topics that are bound to enrage a large section of the demographic. The setting was decently presented although some of the period clothing may have been a few years anachronistic and one song heard certainly was, as I’ll mention in a minute. Speaking of music, the score wasn’t epic and bombastic like Jerry Goldsmith’s contributions to the original trilogy yet Mark Korven’s score was satisfactory to the film’s subject matter… which was presented in a deliberate yet never dull manner until it goes into overdrive.

Nell Tiger Free… now, I have rather high skepticism that was the name on her birth certificate. Bizarre monikers aside, I’d never seen her act before (avoiding Game of Thornes proved to be a wise move given its wet fart final season!) but she was great leading The First Omen. It was a large reason why I kept engaged with the movie despite my misgivings of more than one plot point. At least in 1971 Italy, I have to presume that nuns in training aren’t cloistered anywhere & they can go out in sexy clothing to the discotheques. Then again, those few minutes tickled me pink due to the hilarious 70’s Euro-pop that was played, only one of which I knew: Boney M.’s Daddy Cool! Of course, that song came out in ’76, but…

The First Omen was not the pretentious crap “elevated horror” that does nothing to thrill me nor lame Blumhouse crap (where from reviews I understand they are now ripping off their own movies), thus I was pleasantly surprised it was an entertaining horror prequel.

Zulu

Zulu (1964)

Runtime: 138 minutes

Directed by: Cy Enfield

Starring: Stanley Baker, Michael Caine, James Booth, Nigel Green, Paul Daneman

From: Paramount

Yet another good recommendation from a Letterboxd mutual. A comment on my review for The Guns of Navarone suggested that I check this out; as it’s free for me on YouTube (as a Premium member. I use that platform so often to view various channels that aren’t movies, not seeing any ad is worth it) I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to see The Battle of Rorke’s Drift on film.

This war film is based on an actual incident in 1879 South Africa, where around 150 British troops defended an encampment against several thousand Zulu warriors. The whole “colonialism in Africa” thing won’t be addressed by me. While the perspective was from the British, they sometimes were presented in a negative light and the Zulu warriors were put over for being such badasses that can run 50 miles to a battle then win it. Because the movie slows down at key points to have the warriors stand there and be intimidating or stand there and sing, they were made to be strong opposition. The first hour introduced the main players as the viewers got to know them. The rest was the siege and the soldiers’ attempt to defy the odds.

The storytelling is about what you’d expect… the commanding officers sometimes bicker w/ each other, a cowardly character who feigns injury later does heroic acts, etc. Notwithstanding, it was all done quite well. The direction, the way the rural South African countryside was filmed, all the combat that never felt repetitive, the staging, the rousing John Barry score, etc. Arguably the most important detail: this was the first big movie role for none other than Michael Caine… and was the second-most important character. He hit a bullseye so no wonder he had a successful career that literally just ended recently.

The film is 138 minutes but I never lost interest in this war picture. As I’ve known of The Battle of Rorke’s Drift from reading about it years ago, this viewing was long overdue.

 

The Player... No, Not That One

The Player (1971)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Thomas DeMartini

Starring: Jerry Como, Rae Phillips, Carey Wilmot, Minnesota Fats, Jack Colavita

From: International Cinema, Inc.

So, this is a lost movie featuring Minnesota Fats that was rediscovered & uploaded to YouTube last week.

An explanation is needed. In Baton Rouge, Louisiana a fictional drama was filmed featuring the legendary billiards player/pool hustler Minnesota Fats as himself. He changed his moniker from New York Fats to Jackie Gleason’s character Minnesota in The Hustler because allegedly he was the real-life inspiration for the character. The movie was always a small-time deal that apparently only played for a week on a limited amount of screens. This specific print was left in a theater then closed, before then taken to a drive-in where it then was left abandoned, literally out in the elements for years. The print is understandably not perfect but does sound acceptable & looks tremendous given the restoration of a rotting print wasn’t done by a Scorsese who has unlimited funds for such tasks.

On Twitter, Jon W. (rarefilmm, as he runs that website devoted to streaming links of obscurities from around the world) was the account which informed me & everyone else that the YouTube account FT Depot-they usually restore random trailers and ephemera related to motion pictures-was the source who found then restored it for free streaming... at 4K, believe it or not. I don’t play billiards and don’t usually watch it at all but the backstory was far too fascinating for me to ignore.

Going in, the idea that the backstory would be far more interesting than the movie itself was not in the back of my mind, but the front; that was indeed the case. It was an average drama involving novice actors/crew where all the pool played was impressive (not just the trick/difficult shots) but not shot in a dynamic manner and the conflict is the goof lead character-Lou-& relationship problems w/ his girlfriend; the girlfriend introduces her old friend to him—so she gets dumped for the old friend, who doesn’t really care about his hobby. Yeah, the billiards scenes are more intriguing than the turgid dramatics. Lou’s a pretty good player but nothing more; he’s no Fats, who only shows up sparingly after the opening.

The music (from a guy named Shorty Rogers; was he a hustler himself?) was acceptable; the highlight there was one scene featured a drummer dropping some SICK BEATS for several minutes, which I appreciated. The story behind this movie (which some people out there had been seeking out for years) and its discovery is a happy one. As lousy as it is, it does have some merits outside of Minnesota Fats and other pool pros showing their craft on screen. Of course several different poolhalls are shown; there’s always nostalgia for how such establishments looked half a century ago. So is some of the amusing clothing of the period on display. Not too much of early 70’s Baton Rouge is seen.

Media feared to be lost is rediscovered on a constant basis whether it be film or something else. Let us hope for more movies to randomly be found again, no matter their quality. There aren’t too many billiards motion pictures out there; it’s better to stick with The Hustler or The Color of Money, especially if you haven’t viewed those before.

 

Monkey Man

Monkey Man (2024)

Somehow, 87% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 195 reviews)

Runtime: 121 LONG minutes

Directed by: Dev Patel

Starring: Patel, Pitobash, Vipin Sharma, Sikander Kher, Sharlto Copley

From: Universal/BRON/Some others

It pains me to say this, but Monkey Man was just a bad movie.

After going out Friday night, consuming some drinks there then later at home… no films were watched then or Saturday until the evening as resting & catching up on podcasts was done instead. Last night was more normal for me as I went to the cinema for the film marketed as Indian John Wick but Lord was that not true. I’ve always been wary of it despite the praise as the trailers did not blow me away; beforehand I worried the well may have been poisoned as elsewhere I heard criticisms of “lack of establishing shots” and “shot too close.” Both are sadly true; the latter is for certain a modern Hollywood problem and the former probably is also. However, the main issues I had were not those criticisms.

Rather, what should have been either a fun or moody revenge thriller (HA at the idea of this being like Rolling Thunder or other similar pictures from the 70’s) dealing with a protagonist finally going after those who harmed a love one… this was neither. Instead, it was a laborious, ponderous slog where due to the fractured storytelling it was far too late before the audience was given a full reason to care about the hero’s struggles. Plus, it belabored the point of how it allegedly is miserable to live in India due to corruption and class struggles; expect a LOT of misery and miserable characters, only (for me) not to feel as much catharsis as should have been present for those awful s***bags to finally get their comeuppance.

It’s just misery mixed in with constant fumbled allusions to Gods and folk legends and other ideas that just came off as pretentious—not to mention one of the reasons why this two hour movie felt like it went at least five or so hours at the cinema. I was about in the middle of the auditorium—I can’t speak for behind me but in front of me several people checked their watches at least once, solidifying that others lost patience with this. Worst of all, when there was action (not as much as the trailers implied), it sometimes was cool but other times it was too shaky-cam and yes, too close to be all that enjoyable.

As the point has been addressed in some past reviews of modern films, in fact the decision for multiple characters to drop WAY too many F-bombs was a major negative. I especially “loved” it when a supporting character (who thankfully is in only a few scenes) used it with every third word out of his sewer-hole of a mouth! Just recently I finally started reading Tarantino’s Cinema Speculation. Perhaps in the future in some other review my full thoughts will be given--of course the F bomb is used too often in that too, which wasn’t unexpected but still… a word that has lost all its meaning due to constant overuse everywhere? Yes.

The basis of the plot should have been sound, there’s some decent aesthetic moments and the score wasn’t bad. In totality, the movie was bad; it wasn’t as dire as suggested by the random person who told me after the screening (only because I happened to be by him disposing my trash & no one else was) “Never have I been happier for a movie to end!” I said I agreed, which wasn’t true. I’ve seen worse theatrically; after all, the absolute horrible Suspiria remake became a Chinese Water Torture test as it just refused to end, the last half hour seeming like 30 days. Sadly, the conversation did not go past us telling each other how disappointing this was; he was one of those I mentioned earlier that looked at his watch on several occasions. I’m glad he could vent to me, although more dialogue from him would have been fine also.

Until just moments ago, I completely forgot I had seen Dev Patel in one other movie. As it was Chappie, no wonder that CRAPPIE movie has been mostly forgotten by me aside from how repulsed I was by everything surrounding Die Antwoord. I take no joy in bashing a passion project for Mr. Patel. That said, this was his debut in acting/producing/writing/directing at the same time; it showed. That doesn’t mean possible future movies he directs won’t be better-in my eyes-but something less pretentious (no kidding, the protagonist in the film is never given a name so he’s only known as KID despite only being shown as a kid in some flashbacks. Then again, the Indian city this is set in is never named--apparently it’s some fictitious city but it’s never clearly named either!) would be nice for starters.

I’m glad the movie worked for many; if only that opinion could have been shared by me…