Tintorera: Killer Shark

Tintorera: Killer Shark (1977) 

Runtime: I saw the 85 minute version rather than the 126 (!) minute one

Directed by: Rene Cardona, Jr.

Starring: Hugo Stiglitz, Andres Garcia, Susan George, Fiona Lewis, Eleazar Gonzalez

From: Concacite Uno/Productora Filmica Real

A film about two cads cavorting around a seaside Mexican town... where a Tiger Shark shows up once in a blue moon.

For years I have known of this movie; the fact that there are different cuts of it all there (some over 2 hours long!) and most of the ones on YouTube looked poor and/or were in the wrong aspect ratio. Eventually I figured this would be given a shot; after all, Scorpion Releasing put it on Blu. Well, last night on MGMHD they showed the 85 minute cut so this was the opportune time, and... if only the titular killer shark would have been present more often. The director was Rene Cardona, Jr. so of course the star was obvious; those two have made more movies together than Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

Much of this is Hugo Stiglitz (a Mexican playing an American) and Andres Garcia (a Mexican playing a Mexican) feuding then suddenly starting a bromance in what seemed like a few days as they both sleep around and bed several women-at times even developing a polyamorous relationship-including Susan George. There is plenty of nudity, male and female; it was not the plan to see two motion pictures in a row that had a copious amount of this, but it happened. There's also disco music, Stiglitz cooking eggs in the morning while being buck naked except for an apron... and once in a long while a shark shows up. There is much more of those two cads than the aquatic horrors; that's the case until this nears the end. At least the shark footage doesn't look bad-and the same goes for the underwater footage-yet the finale comes across as... limp & out to sea... to its credit, one of the attacks was done quite well.

It did start to drag in the back half so this only gets a “meh” rating from me. That said, there are no regrets finally giving this a shot; besides there being plenty of worse shark films out there, I could laugh about the disco music or all the debauchery the two lead men engaged in or how many scenes had one or both in Speedos. All the moments where aquatic life is either shot with a spear gun or clubbed... I could have done without that and you have been warned.

Paranoia

Paranoia (1969)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Carroll Baker, Lou Castel, Colette Descombes, Tino Carraro, Lilla Brignone

From: Several Italian and French companies

Recently I heard praise for a release from Severin last year: The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection, which is the four movies that director Umberto Lenzi-an admitted guilty pleasure-did with Carroll Baker. Spotting that all four are on Prime, it seemed like a swell idea to try out their first collaboration. Note that not only is this a giallo in the basic sense that it is a sleazy Italian crime thriller, but that in some places it is known as... ORGASMO. Personally, I am glad it is listed as Paranoia here; among other things, its other title would be awkward to post on Twitter! What I mean is that my reviews are always linked in a Twitter post; my followers there may look at me funny after discovering I saw something called Orgasmo.

The plot: Baker plays Kathryn, the rich widow of an older husband who just died. She now lives in an Italian villa; soon she meets up with a young man who has an equally mod sister. Things seem groovy at first with them partying, listening to period rock tunes where you expect to hear the Strawberry Alarm Clock next, and there's even a scene at a club where I half-expected Austin Powers to show up. However, those siblings are actually awful human beings, so Kathryn has many terrible things happen to her, including good old fashioned gaslighting. Between that and this being the most sleazy of the film's various cuts out there-meaning this has copious amounts of nudity and what I call “lesbian moments”-this was quite the wild hour and a half.

While this was trash, at least I was entertained by those loathsome villains and all the twists & turns this had, especially in the final act. There is no shortage of zoom-ins and zoom-outs, either; Baker was the true highlight with her performance. Kathryn is put through the wringer and she did deliver. This is not a must-see in the genre by any means yet if you enjoy the sleazy Euro movies of this vintage, this will probably delight you... just don't tell me how it personally delights you! Judging by this, Severin did a swell job in restoring some movies I understood were impossible to find in even decent quality beforehand.

They Live

They Live (1988)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: John Carpenter

Starring: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster, George “Buck” Flower, Peter Jason

From: Universal

You know, you look like your head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957.

Last night was the time to FINALLY revisit one of John Carpenter's more famous films, and one that many have said seems more relevant than ever... not to bring politics into this review but Carpenter did say the idea for this (based loosely on a short story) was his disgust of “Reaganomics” and how it created an increase of the income gap mixed in with his loathing of increased commercialization. It's up to the reader if United States politics in recent years can be applied to They Live-for certain commercialization has become even worse in the past 30 plus years. Subliminal messages of “obey”, “consume” and “no thought” definitely have rang true to me at times in the recent past. In addition, this has moments where there is both police brutality and the homeless are treated rather poorly; heck, global warming is even mentioned long before that became a huge concern w/ the general public.

John Nada (the surname is from the short story; not very subtle to say that the protagonist is a nobody but at least that point is driven home) is a down on his luck person who walks to Los Angeles and ends up on a construction site as that's all the work he can find. While living in a shantytown, he stumbles upon what seems like a loony conspiracy thought up by some peculiar people; unlike QAnon, this one is true... at least I hope no one reading this believes in QAnon. Anyhow, via special sunglasses, subliminal messages are now visible and many people are actually aliens in disguise. Nada ropes in his buddy Frank to try and destroy the satellite signal that is allowing both to occur.

They Live takes its time to let the story slowly unfurl and allows the lead to try and piece it all together. There is basic information presented throughout as to the endgame from the aliens but thankfully there's no contrived info dumps which spell it all out as the viewer only needs the basics. It is easy to root for both John and Frank; Keith David is great as always and in a career where he ended up doing quite a few low-budget pictures, the late Rowdy Roddy Piper was probably at his best here, at least outside of professional wrestling. Their infamous epic brawl is unforgettable, due to length, brutality... and them fighting over Frank being asked to wear those special glasses. Also, I was personally glad George “Buck” Flower had a prominent supporting role.

Even if you divorce this from the real life inspirations that made John Carpenter angry & want to tell this story, it is like one of those paranoid conspiracy thrillers of old where innocent people discover the truth concerning horrible activities & they discover that some are happy to “sell out” for money. It is a fun yarn (with memorable one-liners throughout; it's not just the famed bubblegum zinger) where the message is not suffocating or sucks the fun out of seeing the heroes attempt to reveal the nefarious deeds. As typical for the director, the film found more success in the years after it was first released; OBEY and some other ideas are popular among certain segments. In other words, this does not feel dated at all.

High And Low

High and Low (Tengoku To Jigoku) (1963)

Runtime: 143 minutes

Directed by: Akira Kurosawa

Starring: Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Nakadai, Tatsuya Mihashi, Isao Kimura, Kyoko Kagawa

From: Toho

Last night I figured it was time to check out something on the Criterion Channel, a movie likely to earn a very high rating from me. High and Low (loosely adapted from an Ed McBain novel) does indeed deserve to be in the highest echelon as one of Kurosawa's best films.

The plot sounded simple enough: a rich businessman who is in the field of making womens' shoes has his chauffeur's son kidnapped by accident instead of his own but he still has to pay a huge ransom... which he is reluctant to do as he already has planned to use a large sum of cash to take over the company he's in. But in execution, the movie is excellent. What seems like the first 50 minutes is all but for one exception set in a house, mostly in one large room. That is never dull due to the story, blocking, performances, and more.

After that is the police procedural and I never lost interest there either. The kidnapper is rather intelligent with his plan but the cops are smart themselves and they do a lot of groundwork & examining clues to crack the case-this includes the early 60's version of forensics. There's a scene more than 10 minutes long where all the officers on the case are presenting the preliminary results of their own investigations to each other and it's all fascinating due to how this information is shown and how it all comes together; it was never dull for even a second. I was also happy to see that frequent Kurosawa actor Takashi Shimura had a small supporting role. Personally, the second half was as engrossing as the first; also, what an incredible final scene. More than one character changes on this almost 2 ½ hour journey that always had my attention. This even has a sort of horror sequence involving dead-eyed addicts in the slums of Yokohama which should be shown as an anti-drug advert.

Of course, what's in front of the camera is as impressive as what was behind the camera (the score, cinematography, framing, etc.) There are quality performances across the board; Toshiro Mifune is seemingly always the standout when he's the lead but I also have to give credit to Tatsuya Nakadai as the leader of the investigation. If you love Kurosawa but somehow haven't seen this... you need to rectify this problem.

The Jewel Of The Nile

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Lewis Teague

Starring: Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, Spyros Fokas, Avner Eisenberg

From: 20th Century Fox

Featuring the most unexpected usage of Freaks Come Out at Night.

A few years ago I saw and reviewed Romancing the Stone. That was a first time watch (in full; I had seen parts of that and this as a kid as my mom liked both) and it was good for what it was... an amusing and light adventure w/ plenty of laughs and some nice scenery. As Jewel is going to leave Prime next week it was time to finally give this a shot. Now, I heard this had production issues, but it wasn't until afterwards I discovered what they were: this was in fact rushed into production, Kathleen Turner did not like the story at all but was forced to stay under penalty of being sued for many millions of dollars, filming in Morocco was not smooth due to errors & the locals being corrupt, several crew members died in a plane crash, others had near-miss wrecks, and most tragically, Diane Thomas-who wrote the script to Romancing the Stone and the story of how she pitched this to Michael Douglas at the coffee shop she worked at is great-died in a car crash shortly before this came out. Apparently she did uncredited work on Nile but for certain the story here is not as strong as in Stone.

There are contrivances which drive the lead duo apart; Turner ends up in “Northern Africa” where an Arab ruler is about to take over a country and he's actually a corrupt A-hole who wants to control the titular jewel. He wants her to write a puff piece autobiography, which does not turn out well and it's both Douglas & DeVito who have to try and save her. Much wackiness ensues, including a “Nubian” tribe & Arab tribespeople who carry around giant boomboxes that blast Whodini's Freaks Come Out at Night... really. While there are stereotypes, for me it has not aged so badly that the movie is full of cringe; some of DeVito's one-liners are questionable now but otherwise I did not shake my head at those elements. Some of the effects, however...

I'll be kind and give this a “fine” rating. While the original is better overall, the fact that the finished product did not turn out to be a disaster deserves some sort of credit. The star power of the three leads definitely helps, as does the interesting action scenes & rather peculiar score from Jack Nitszchke; a quality end credits song from Billy Ocean was nice too. A few things did tickle me pink and perhaps only I would feel this way. After the fantasy opening, I need not ever wonder anymore what Douglas in Cutthroat Island would have been like; the same goes for him drinking a Budweiser... for some reason I am not sure if he's actually had a can of Bud in his life. The 80's-ness of this was confirmed when the comedy troupe The Flying Karamazov Brothers have prominent roles and moments were shoehorned in for the purpose of showing off their talents.

It was still light entertainment which had laughs, so this was not a decision I later regretted.

Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown

Race for Your Life,Charlie Brown (1977)

Runtime: 76 minutes

Directed by: Bill Melendez/Phil Roman

Starring: The usual Peanuts crew

From: Paramount

Something I saw only due to its good nature and short 76 minutes runtime.

I won't go into the circumstances but there was only enough time to see something relatively short and as this was a nice respite from all the depressing/sad material I've watched in the past week or so, this is where I ended up. The plot is not what you'd call complex: the usual Peanuts gang is at a summer camp & they have to deal with a group of bullies-one of whom was of course given buck teeth. Much of this is devoted to a big raft race; as it takes several days and the gang use an outboard motor among other things to cheat, you don't want to scrutinize this plot as an adult. After all, Snoopy & Woodstock also participate in this rafting race.

That said, this was a genial good time. The crew is segregated into boys and girls which leads to the expected conflict; also providing laughs was Peppermint Patty often asking her ladies for a vote (no matter how absurd the situation) and always proclaiming she wants democracy; at least here there was no cries of stolen elections or fraudulent votes... and of course Charlie Brown-known as Chuck to some-gets called a blockhead and is yelled at when he was installed as the leader, usually unfairly.

As an adult and seeing this for likely the first time in more than 3 decades, several things do stand out which I had zero memory of. Sally threatening to kick someone's ass more than once through colorful dialogue was unexpected; so was the at times funky score. But the most surprising moment came in the beginning, when they are traveling to the camp and Snoopy & Woodstock aren't on the bus w/ everyone else. Rather, they are on a motorcycle in an obvious homage to... EASY RIDER. Needless to say, I had no knowledge of that as a little kid; that was a nice gag for the parents seeing this w/ their tykes. That returns at the end, which results in psychedelic end credits. I figured ol' Snoopy & Woodstock were born to be wild.

Blow The Man Down

Blow the Man Down (2019)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Bridget Savage Cole/Danielle Krudy

Starring: Sophie Lowe, Morgan Saylor, June Squibb, Annette O'Toole, Margo Martindale

From: Amazon

Those that are loving Sea Shanty Tik Tok, this is a motion picture for you.

Perhaps this should have been seen earlier in the month, when that trend was red-hot and I had heard Blow the Man Down featured a few of those. However, I'll presume it's still popular so it was timely to check this out. Before this past week started, it was NOT the plan by myself to see a bunch of movies that have depressing content, sad moments, death, or someone's mom passing away; that's just how it turned out. It won't be a trend that will be continuing for weeks to come. As for the sea shanties you sometimes hear here, of course none of them are Wellerman (which is about whaling anyhow) but the ones featured here are quite catchy, and it was quite the inspired idea to use them as a sort of Greek chorus.

I've heard comparisons to The Coen Brothers and I suppose it's understandable. The fact that it was written/directed by a pair of women and stars another pair of women as sisters who work in the fishing industry in a coastal Maine fishing town... that did intrigue. It starts off with their mom's funeral and due to her illness they are in dire financial straits despite the fact mom & the two daughters owned a store in that bucolic village. The sisters argued w/ each other so one of them left and this resulted in a crime that both have to cover up. Then it's revealed that the town has its dark side where various crimes occur.

This had potential and to be honest, not all of it was realized. Be that as it may, I can still rate it as good and there are no regrets giving this a shot. It was nice to see some familiar faces, like Annette O'Toole, June Squibb and Margo Martindale-who was the true highlight; however, special credit will be given to both Morgan Saylor and Sophie Lowe as the sisters. They had nice chemistry with each other & delivered w/ their performances where they had to display a range of emotions. There was also an interesting score from John Dykstra & Brian McOmber which fit the setting... and personally I was amused that in a soundtrack which otherwise was sea shanties or random modern rock tunes, TWO songs from The Greg Kihn Band show up, one you'll know and the other has languished in obscurity for almost the past 40 years now. This was something I was happy about; as I've alluded to before, I prefer tunes of an older vintage as they don't write 'em like that anymore...

Directors Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy may go on to bigger & better things in the future. As is, this was still a fine way to spend an hour and a half. I wouldn't mind visiting Harpswell, Maine (where much of this was filmed), as long as it doesn't feature murder or drug use.