Killer of Sheep

Killer of Sheep (1978)

Runtime: 80 minutes

Directed by: Charles Burnett

Starring: Henry G. Sanders, Kaycee Moore, Charles Bracy, Angela Burnett, Eugene Cherry

From: Milestone Films 

I mentioned not that long ago that cinema verite and slice-of-life movies aren’t always for me. However, I was glad to finally check out this film that there’s been an interest in checking out for years yet the trigger wasn’t pulled even when it was added to the Criterion Channel a few months ago. The platform’s 24/7 service playing the film finally gave me the impetus to cross this off of my figurative queue, it of what has to be thousands of movies still. There were times when this movie was impossible to track down (legally); the soundtrack was unauthorized and as this is full of mostly Black music… but all that’s settled for the time being.

Ostensibly this is about a random Black man dealing with insomnia and malaise as he has a slaughterhouse job in the Watts neighborhood of Los Angeles and he struggles with being the head of a family w/ young children… in actuality, this is a slice-of-life where a wide variety of characters (including more than a few kids) are shown living in Watts and their experiences living in a poor area, whether good or-typically-bad. The cast is mainly non-actors this was mostly filmed between ’72 and ’73. Best of all, director Charles Burnett presented this movie as his Master of Fine Art thesis for the School of Film at UCLA in 1977. It is wild that Burnett made the bold choice to adopt this style for a student film involving Black talent in the early 70’s.

For a dumb white guy like me who wasn’t even alive in the 1970’s, this black-and-white film (which yes, does evoke feelings of Italian neo-realism) was quite illuminating. There isn’t too much else that I’d wish to reveal-people should experience this journey themselves if the premise sounds intriguing. For a movie filled with amateurs and helmed by a neophyte filmmaker, it has some great cinematography; the hip-hop community noticed it, given that Mos Def took an image from the film & gave it a red tint for his The Ecstatic album, along with The Roots using an aesthetic from the film for their Undun album.

The new 4K restoration made this 16mm movie look outstanding-for that reason alone, I can’t be too upset it took this long to finally tackle Killer of Sheep.

Girl with Hyacinths

Girl with Hyacinths (Flicka Och Hyacinter) (1950)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Hasse Ekman

Starring: Eva Henning, Ulf Palme, Birgit Tengroth, Anders Ek, Gosta Cederlund

From: Terrafilm

This film is part of the Criterion Channel’s new Nordic Noir section, and as according to the channel this movie is an unexpected popular watch, why not tackle it for myself? Whether or not you consider this noir or not is debatable; I have a list devoted to the genre but as I only add American films to it anyhow… a young lady named Dagmar who’s a loner took her own life via hanging.

That happens a few minutes in and that should be mentioned for those that don’t want to view such things for whatever personal reasons. Dagmar’s apartment neighbor is a writer and he investigates why she made this decision. The blurb on the channel in fact invoked the name Citizen Kane; that’s a tall order but the movie is very good. The viewer sees flashbacks which shone a light on Dagmar’s life and why she committed suicide.

The description on the Criterion Channel reveals a key detail which perhaps shouldn’t have been revealed beforehand; even if you don’t know, people today might have an easier time guessing the big surprise at the conclusion. A segment of the audience reading this probably would be interested in Dagmar as a character due to her preferences. Hyacinths was an easy 90-minute watch; the runtime flew by as the author Anders investigates, we see many flashbacks, and he has frequent discussions w/ his wife Britt concerning the case.

Whether behind or in front of the camera, I wasn’t familiar w/ most of the cast and crew, aside from Anders Ek. There’s strong filmmaking craft involved and the cast as a whole was swell. That said, Ulf Palme as Anders and Eva Henning as Dagmar were the highlights; the latter was incredibly sympathetic as a nice lady who is treated horribly by seemingly every man in her life, then she took her own life.

The movie is of the downbeat variety yet I was still glad to have gone on this journey. None other than Ingmar Bergman was a fan. In the future I’ll view at least one more from the Nordic Noir collection.

Nightmare Beach

Nightmare Beach (1989)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Harry Kirkpatrick, mostly, although Umberto Lenzi was on set

Starring: Nicolas de Toth, Sarah Buxton, John Saxon, Michael Parks, Lance LeGault

From: Overseas Filmgroup

A relevant movie for me to discuss today, it was. I mention that as a key plot point to this nonsense set at Spring Break in Florida was that the lead male is a college football quarterback who blew it in the national championship game in Miami by throwing 5 interceptions. Well, tonight is the college football national championship… the game will be held in a Miami suburb. Hopefully either Fernando Mendoza or Carson Beck don’t throw 5 INT’s in the game; they’ll be a total wet blanket during Spring Break and be a drag for their horndog wide receiver friend that is ready, willing & able to engage in the bacchanal that is Spring Break on a beach.

When I was in college way back when, I never went to Spring Break in Florida, thus I did not witness or even participate in the binge drinking, unprotected sex, wet t-shirt contests, and other debauchery all day & night. On the other hand, I also did not have to worry about the scenario presented in this Italian horror movie… a biker who was executed but is hinted at being resurrected as a killer in black biker leathers and a helmet who is indiscriminately killing people during the college rite of passage in Florida. At least for these people, they have John Saxon as a loose cannon aviator shades-wearing badass cop named… STRYCHER. Of course, the movie is easy to criticize or even scoff at if you aren’t entertained by incredibly silly genre movies and goofball young adults. 

The acting aside from old pros like Saxon and Lance LeGault is spotty at best, terrible at worst. The logic of the plot shouldn’t be scrutinized too hard. Yet, I was entertained by this trash. The 80’s clothing, hair, and music throughout always made me chuckle. There are some absurd deaths-thankfully, the effects were decent-red herring characters that include a weird-looking creep that’s a Peeping Tom, and side plots that entertained me… both men and women, solo and in groups, people steal the money of the poor saps that are visiting for Spring Break. Another good reason for me not regretting going there!

Like with many Italian genre pictures for at least a 10 year period, they filmed in the Miami region of Florida; nice scenery was presented, and I’m not referring to the pretty ladies in the cast… or handsome men, if that’s your bag instead. The film was a good time. Note that Umberto Lenzi (someone I am a fan of) was the original director but he abdicated that position because he found the plot too similar to an earlier film he did… I won’t reveal which one as it could be deemed a spoiler. Instead, he stayed on in an advisory role and screenwriter Harry Kirkpatrick directed instead. From a mutual’s review, when he met Saxon at a comic con, he confirmed this to be the case.

Nightmare Beach was fun, especially as something different from the typical 80’s slasher.

Best in Show

Best in Show (2000)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Christopher Guest

Starring: A great cast. What a deep bench it has.

From: Warner Brothers/Castle Rock Entertainment

Me giving up on a new streaming release 10 minutes in because it was a nonstop torrent of F-bombs shouldn’t be too surprising to longtime readers-the fact that the film also had a flagrant logical fallacy made it all the easier to hit “stop”, never to return. What may be surprising or perhaps even a little galling to some: I’d never seen any of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries he’s directed despite the lavish praise they’ve received all these years… well, except the one that was released on Netflix, but that’s the “magic” of Netflix, I suppose—and that was long before their mandate of “verbally explaining the plot on multiple occasions because many of our viewers are on phones while watching.” Sigh…

Back on topic, I was happy that while droll humor isn’t always my thing (the same goes for improv humor), this was quite funny. I’ve never watched any dog shows-even the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show-yet that was irrelevant in this case. Wacky characters of wildly different personalities bring their pooches to a major dog show in Philadelphia. It’s everyone from a campy homosexual male couple and a North Carolina fisherman to an amazingly stressed couple and an amazingly dorky Eugene Levy who has a wife… well, I don’t want to shame Catherine O’Hara’s character as I could get canceled for such things now!

The characters are all peculiar and are poked fun at without being cruelly mocked too harshly. Arguably, Fred Willard was the highlight as the color commentator of the dog show due to his constant remarks that were either cheesy cliches or bizarre off the wall statements. That said, I was entertained by all the main players; I wasn’t let down by a film that had Levy & his fake teeth, O’Hara, Michael McKean, Jennifer Coolidge, Jane Lynch, Parker Posey, Larry Miller, and Guest himself in a key role, among others. There’s also a small part for That Guy actor Don S. Davis, a distinctive-looking older bald man who I’m sure many will recognize for his recurring role on Twin Peaks but as that’s still a show I’ve never tackled (I know, I know) he’s best known to me for small roles in a few random 80’s and 90’s pictures.

Comedy with awkward characters and humor as dry as a biscuit is not something I desire to view constantly so it is probable that months will pass by before I give something like Waiting for Guffman or A Mighty Wind a shot. Be that as it may, Best in Show thankfully wasn’t a disappointment. It spoofed the inherent absurdities of dog shows in a playful way-personally, I was happy to view many different varieties of dogs throughout. As modern “comedies” leave me cold, I’m glad to find one from the past worth seeing-and the runtime of 90 minutes is a bonus.

 

Only Angels Have Wings

Only Angels Have Wings (1939)

Runtime: 121 minutes

Directed by: Howard Hawks

Starring: Cary Grant, Jean Arthur, Richard Barthelmess, Thomas Mitchell, Rita Hayworth

From: Columbia

Another review done via request. Earlier in the month, I gave a positive review to the 1952 movie Mogambo; this was mentioned on a messageboard. Another regular on the board mentioned this film as one he was a fan of. Of course I’ve known of Only Angels Have Wings for years. A highly-regarded Howard Hawks film starring Cary Grant, Jean Arthur, and Rita Hayworth… shame on me for never giving it a shot sooner.

The setting of “South American Port Town” was a great one; Grant’s Geoff Carter was the stern, standoffish leader of a small airline who has the unenviable task of flying 1930’s aircraft through dangerous, high passes in the Andes Mountains. However, he does have the enviable task of expressing interest in both Arthur and Hayworth… but seriously, the film opens with a light tone before revealing the dark undercurrent that resides in this fatalistic, insular world where every pilot’s flight could be their last & Carter himself flew the riskiest flights. Arthur was the fish out of water character who was also the voice of reason.

This is another example of an enthralling journey where I’d rather not reveal too much. I will note that the film has a panoply of colorful, unforgettable characters. The airplane footage is still impressive today but the crux of the focus is on the players and their drama while on the ground. The two-hour runtime… flew by. Of course, Grant and Arthur were solid but it was Rita with a minimal amount of screentime which made me understood why after this film, she skyrocketed in popularity. Silent star Richard Barthelmess was appropriately weathered-looking for his role. In addition, I was personally happy to see Three Stooges regular Vernon Dent in a bit part.

Wings has action, melodrama, heartbreak, romance, and some laughs in an enticing package. 1939 is generally regarded as the best year in the history of cinema (and to think, Thomas Mitchell was in this and several other classics released that year)-there’s no shortage of movies from this year worth seeing—Only Angels Have Wings is another worth seeing without a doubt. The stunning nature of the conclusion alone is motivation should be motivation for those fools like me that took a random Internet poster’s praise to finally DVR the movie when it played on cable.

The Anthrax Attacks: In the Shadow of 9/11

This is another Netflix documentary: 

Why do modern documentaries deem it “cool” to show themselves set up a shot (including a clapper board) before then running the shot? I know it’s been a trope for years but the example here was way too elaborate and was just a sign that this BBC/Netflix effort was overproduced.

I realize at least some reading this weren’t alive in late 2001 (which makes me feel ancient); in the weeks after 9/11, letters filled with anthrax were sent to various entities. What was implied in the documentary but not explicitly stated was that the FBI bungled the investigation from the beginning… it took way too long to realize this was a coordinated attack. What a scary time it was for all Americans at the time; I remember that fear & confusion distinctly despite it happening a quarter-century ago.

The FBI focused on one suspect-only for another suspect right under their noses appear and that guy was a better candidate. Because reasons, this person was never convicted in a court of law for these attacks… and part of this documentary featured reenactments of this person as if this was a show on Investigation Discovery. A curious decision was that these moments featured known actors… Clark Gregg of War of the Worlds fame (well, that’s how I’ll know him for the rest of time!) and Peri Gilpin.

My criticisms aside, it was still nice to see people involved in this case interviewed. I remember some of those events when they happened + I’ve read some articles after the fact. For those not as familiar, this was a nice cursory glance at the event and the subsequent investigation. Of most interest to me: the moments devoted to following those affected by the anthrax exposure at the Brentwood post office in Washington, D.C. Then and now, the government also botched how that was handled, especially considering that two of the five victims (Thomas Morris, Jr. and Joseph Curseen) were employees of that office.

I haven’t read any books solely devoted to the case; as flawed as Wikipedia can be, their article “2001 anthrax attacks” is worthy of reading for those on a quest for more knowledge, re: what occurred starting in late 2001.

Primate

Primate (2025)

79% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 131 reviews)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Johannes Roberts

Starring: Johnny Sequoyah, Jess Alexander, Troy Kotsur, Victoria Wyant, Gia Hunter

From: Paramount

I… went ape for Primate.

Truth be told, the effective advertisements (where they stressed that test screenings made everyone in the audience jump in shock) plus learning that the film had a Carpenter-esque synth score from Adrian Johnston… that was enough to persuade me. Indeed, the score typically reminded me of old-school John Carpenter, which is a compliment.

The film is unapologetically a B-movie; of course that won’t be for all tastes. College girl Lucy (a great name if you get the reference) returns home to Hawaii for summer break-she’s been away due to her mom’s passing from cancer. The family has a chimpanzee named Ben who was taught sign language. Middle-aged me was reminded of Koko the Gorilla, who was taught sign language. A rabbit hole is reading the dirty details of how she was evidently cared for and other unfortunate controversies. Ben is bitten by a mongoose that has rabies-perhaps a few liberties were taken in how quickly Ben turns evil.

I probably shouldn’t question how quickly Ben turned into an evil chimp that inflicted gory carnage as if he’s watched the Terrifier films. That plus that monkey subplot in Nope (you know, people still debate now how that subplot tied into the main plot! I’d almost want to watch that disappointing movie again to discuss that…) reminded me of poor Charla Nash. She was a lady whose friend’s chimp snapped one day and mauled her. Her aftermath/the damage to her face would cause even the toughest and most extreme film-watchers to genuflect.

Primate can be nitpicked to death if you’re the insufferable CinemaSins type. This won’t be me; instead, I’ll shower praise and note why I was glad this wasn’t one of those “elevated horror” movies that almost always leave me cold or those PG-13 Blumhouse flicks that are lame and squander potential good premises. This is an R-rated film that features several gore-heavy moments, all done practically. Including end credits, the movie is an hour and a half long, never overstaying its welcome-perhaps at the expense of seeing Ben as a kind animal before his turn.

Unlike w/ too many modern films, I wasn’t aggravated w/ any of the main characters I was supposed to like. Plot armor isn’t a huge deal like you also get w/ too many modern films, not to mention certain popular streaming shows… I’ve seen a few Johannes Roberts films before and those were only mediocre at best but this contained several tense suspense scenes and used mainly one location decently well. This was also the first film I saw Troy Kotsur in-he was the one credited name in the cast I knew and his performance was good. Thankfully, there wasn’t a dreadful performance in the cast.

I’m evidently a simple man; still, there’s no shame in enjoying a silly yet unpretentious B-movie that delivered on its premise. I wish that there wouldn’t have been too many knuckleheads in the auditorium audience, but alas… I’m also reminded that one day I should check out the similar Link and Shakma.

 

Just Imagine

Just Imagine (1930)

Runtime:  109 minutes

Directed by: David Butler

Starring: El Brendel, Maureen O'Sullivan, John Garrick, Marjorie White, Frank Albertson

From: Fox 

For those that enjoy me watching/discussing old cinema, what a relatively obscure curio this is. How I first learned of this sci-fi musical comedy from Fox is lost to time. I’d love to see a restored version of the film… it’s just now in the public domain so I’ll presume that it won’t be any physical release plus it’s Fox so yeah… that’s regrettable as the production design and effects are the clear highlight. Metropolis this isn’t; instead, expect plenty of melodrama.

This world’s 1980 has flying vehicles, people only have names like J-18, food & drink is in pill form and marriages are arranged by the government. We follow J-18, who is miffed that he can’t marry LN-18-understandable as it’s the most famous name in the cast today, Maureen O’Sullivan. J has RT-42 as his roommate; sadly, even in this world there’s odious comic relief and his name was RT-42. They befriend a dude revived from being deceased 50 years after being struck by lightning. The former Peterson calls himself Single O. Single O was portrayed by a long-forgotten vaudeville comedian whom called himself El Brendel and you might remember from 1927’s Wings. His gimmick was being a Swedish immigrant; that was a negative stereotype of the time.

O served as the fish out of water character that learned about this bizarre 1980 world where the worst aspect is that sex isn’t a thing-babies are created artificially! I won’t reveal much more of the plot—except that out of nowhere, J-18 (a great pilot) is guided to fly a ship to Mars for the first time. In fact, he did get his ass to Mars. The movie is rather creaky at times, as static and flat as you’d expect for something in the first few years of the talkie era. The “musical numbers” typically are just one or two people singing to the camera while it is stationary; those songs are best described as “inoffensive.”

All that noted, I was still charmed by this oddity. It was strange, full of imagination, and great sets/backdrops throughout. There is one instrumental musical number that is buckwild; it involves at least 50 people doing a routine with an amazing backdrop. As O also provided some laughs and there was never boredom while viewing this colorful creation, this is why Just Imagine was something I liked despite its flaws. Its predictions of the future that were accurate weren’t that bold… others predicted the likes of the 1930 idea of the Ring doorbell camera and Skype. Yet, I was entertained by this quaint picture.

Chariots of the Gods?

This is a 1970 documentary which wasn't poorly made yet its content is full of falsehoods and flim-flam: 

Erich von Daniken is probably another person I shouldn’t say “RIP” to. For those unaware, on Saturday this Swiss author passed away at the age of 90. He is renowned for the 1968 book Chariots of the Gods? I’ve never read the book; as the YouTube account that uploaded this proclaimed, the “documentary” based on the “nonfiction” book is the original Ancient Aliens. That’s a show I’ve never watched either and only know it for the meme of that weirdo guy. The book was such a massive success, this German documentary was created, which was also successful.

The book purportedly offers evidence of not only aliens, but that they visited the humans of the ancient past and assisted them with technology they gave early man. Via both the writings of legendary skeptic James Randi and the book’s Wiki page, this evidence is nothing but half-truths at best, if not outright hogwash & poppycock. The proof offered here was also rather flimsy. An early example was how those on remote South Pacific islands thought that Americans in World War II were Gods when they created landings strips to land their airplanes on. The scene showed Black people (instead of Polynesians) praying to an effigy of an airplane… and this is one of the “better” examples of the film “proving” the pseudoscience in the documentary.

My low rating is not due to the filmmaking craft on display. The Peter Thomas score is fine, as is the direction from Harald Reinl. The former created some scores for krimi movies I liked and the latter directed both fun krimi and German Westerns I was a fan of. Furthermore, there’s nice footage of various ancient ruins from across the world.
It’s rather the content that was a turn-off. No offense to those that do believe in ancient aliens but just on the “evidence” provided in the film, nothing was done to prove that thesis to me.

What’s presented omits or ignores already-learned science, examples are cherry-picked, or is just piffle. The most infamous example is of an image on a Mayan sarcophagus is of “an ancient astronaut”… that is baloney! Rather, those ornate details are found on other Mayan art and historians have deciphered what they mean. Examples can be found via a simple online search.

There are reasons to be offended by such conspiracy theories. One is that apparently in the book, von Daniken did not question how such structures as the Parthenon or Stonehenge were created, monuments created by white people; rather, it’s those ancient monuments created by those with more melanin in their skin… yeah, that’s ugly. The movie at least did mention what the Greeks and Romans created. More debatable but still possible is that belief in rather “minor” conspiracy theories like UFO’s begat the horrible theories popular with some about vaccines, COVID, etc. which have harmed plenty of people.

It's a shame that such misinformation is now popular; in comparison, the History Channel devolving into a useless platform full of terrible “reality” shows and programs devoted to pseudoscience is something I can’t object to too strongly. Unless you are a fan of the author and/or programs like Ancient Aliens, no way could I recommend this to anyone.

 

Titan: The OceanGate Submersible Disaster

This is a Netflix documentary released last year: 

Hopefully the viewer remembered the Titan submersible imploded due to extreme pressure on the carbon fiber vessel. Aside from the opening that features news footage of the crazy week back in June 2023 (can you believe it’s been 2 ½ years already?), the actual day of the implosion isn’t extensively covered in this documentary by any means. That won’t exactly make it evergreen for any theoretical viewers streaming the film-or downloading it straight to their cerebral cortex or whatever technology we have decades from now-but I was someone who viewed some YouTube videos in the months after the tragedy, that detail wasn’t a big deal to me last night.

As we soon learned after the implosion, OceanGate owner/CEO/Grand Poobah Stockton Rush is solely responsible for what occurred. He was a fool from old money who wanted to make deep sea exploration more accessible by creating submersibles that were much lighter than the ones made of steel/titanium. Admirable, except that the vehicle was unsuited for diving 4 thousand meters down to visit the wreck of the Titanic. Besides the talking head interviews (which included several key employees who left OceanGate before the tragedy), plenty of footage filmed of Rush and OceanGate demonstrated that Rush was not only a stubborn fool who refused to admit defeat and refused to certify Titan, he was a narcissist and as a former employee referred to him as, “borderline sociopathic.” He threatened to ruin people’s lives just because they strongly disagreed with his refusal to change his doomed plans.

Some criticisms are worthwhile… we didn’t really need some YouTuber I’d never heard of (no matter how many millions subscribe to him) for a few minutes only because he was on a failed dive soon before that tragic day… be that as it may, I was still a fan of this documentary. Hearing from the ex-employees, the whistleblowers, the lead investigator from the Coast Guard, etc., the footage of Rush’s abhorrent behavior, clips from the government hearing of the accident-that was all interesting to see and helped me better understand the events of that day.

My non-fiction/documentary bias may be showing here but I should see more of Netflix’s offerings in the genre in the future. Perhaps not all their true crime efforts (I know more than one is rather controversial) but otherwise…

Conan the Destroyer

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Richard Fleischer

Starring: The returning Arnold & Mako, along with the likes of Wilt Chamberlain, Olivia D’Abo, Tracey Walter, and Grace Jones

From: Universal

This is no Conan the Barbarian… but as silly as the film is, I can still say that Destroyer was fine.

The movie is to its credit not a carbon copy of Barbarian. Sure, the tone is notably lighter, Conan is made to look a fool while drunk, and there’s odious comic relief in Tracey Walter (he at least can fight and kill people so I can’t get too mad) but despite toning down the violence in an attempt to garner a larger audience, the movie is still fine even if it feels generic in comparison.

The main plot of a film is a quest; Sarah Douglas is a queen who asks Conan and another wacky group of characters to bring virginal Olivia D’Abo along to retrieve an item… but it’s to resurrect a horrible entity portrayed by an uncredited Andre the Giant in a great Carlo Rambaldi costume. Conan’s crew was larger than in Barbarian. Besides Conan and D’Abo, there’s the queen’s bodyguard Wilt Chamberlin-the only acting role for the extremely tall basketball legend-Walter, the returning Mako, and soon joining them is Grace Jones. As always, she’s a striking presence and believable as a female warrior. They all contributed along the way during the journey.

I was still entertained nevermind the potential for something more akin to the first film or the original novels. Perhaps I’m a simple man but at least in 2026, I can greatly appreciate practical effects, scenic locations (the rural Mexican locations were scenic), and violence that proved the movie’s PG rating was right before PG-13 was created… one dude has arterial blood spraying from him and someone else was beheaded. Some nice sets were built and while not legendary, Basil Poledouris’s score was still good.

Of course, the movie is not as raw & visceral as Barbarian; the negative reception is understandable. I’ll make the blind assumption that the film is more to my tastes than the 2011 Conan the Barbarian remake. I’ll mention two random details that might only amuse me:

1. If you know what Wilt Chamberlain is most famous for aside from his basketball accomplishments, the casting of him as a bodyguard who needs D’Abo to stay virginal for the sake of her sacrifice… it’s hysterical.

2. I’m glad an old YouTube video is still available online after all these years. If you search for “Dead or Alive ~ You Spin Me Round (Conan the Destroyer)”, someone place that 80’s classic tune over footage of Conan fighting in a hall of mirrors against a man-creature who literally spins Conan around at one point. That was the only thing on my line when viewing that scene in the film.

Kaleidoscope

This is a 2023 Netflix limited series of 8 episodes devoted to a heist & its aftermath which has quite the gimmick: 

This is the order I chose to watch the episodes in: 

Green
Blue
Orange
White
Yellow
Red
Violet
Pink

For those unaware, I mention that for a specific reason. I’ll explain at the end how I discovered the 8 episode show on Netflix from a full three years ago that I somehow never heard a thing about until a few months ago… what intrigued me was the show’s gimmick. This surrounds a heist done by Giancarlo Esposito, who recruits some wacky goofballs to steal non-negotiable bearer bonds (yes, Die Hard is specifically mentioned) being held by Rufus Sewell, who is a CEO of a corporate security firm but is a rat bastard who turned against Esposito many years ago.

The gimmick is that the episodes are titled after different colors, and the viewer is given free will to watch the episodes in any order they desire. Judging by older reviews, it appeared that Netflix originally didn’t give you as much free will and apparently forced you to view the heist episode last-I’m a little confused about that as there’s no restrictions regarding that now but regardless, I was glad to pick my own order. 

Perhaps I could have been more adventurous and started with White (the heist itself) first then gone in a random order, or even watch it in reverse chronological order as if it was Memento; instead, what I chose wasn’t that bold yet still wasn’t in chronological order so I shouldn’t second-guess myself. Of course I have nitpicks; the dialogue wasn’t always great and I’m not just talking about all the foul language although yes that was a problem also. Modern “humor” was sometimes present-naturally that didn’t make me laugh all that often.

Be that as it may, even with the nonsensical/baffling moments and a logic flaw or two, my opinion of the enterprise was still positive. While I’m not sure the gimmick was best for this heist story, I still enjoyed the gimmick and the option of choice. People don’t have to follow the order I selected—except that Pink (the last chronologically) is likely better seen last. I was still interested in the heist and its aftermath-it isn’t a spoiler to mention that things don’t go as planned.

At least some will appreciate the diversity in the cast; there’s an important character that’s bi and her wife is either bi or a lesbian, along with several different ethnicities on display. I was entertained by Kaleidoscope, the dark tone, and (in general) the twists throughout. It was preferable to many of the original movies released by Netflix. People may still look down on Jai Courtney due to how Hollywood used him. Between this and Dangerous Animals, he should have played similar villain parts while in America. 

Of most interest to me was the choice old soul songs that played throughout the series; other genres are also heard but it’s mainly old soul music, most of which I knew the artists but not the deep cuts that were chosen. Props to whoever was responsible for suggesting the usage of Melting Pot by Booker T & The MG’s along with tunes from Solomon Burke, OV Wright, Irma Thomas, Esther Phillips, etc. It certainly beat most of the lazy needle-drops we get in modern cinema. I get why Kaleidoscope did not work for everyone but I liked the show, and more than just for the gimmick or its soundtrack.

As for how I discovered this show just a few months ago: discussion on a messageboard surrounded the career of Robert Townsend after I saw I’m Gonna Get You Sucka. Him directing two episodes of this show was brought up; ever since, I’ve had the idea to give Kaleidoscope a shot… I’m glad that happened.

Conan the Barbarian, Revisited

Of course I'm referring to the 1982 movie: 

Getting to see Conan the Barbarian theatrically last night was a grand old time. I’ve watched it on previous occasions and even wrote a review for the film a few years ago; however, this was the first time on the big screen. Regal Cinemas has continued the practice of showing one older movie a night most nights; for my wallet’s sake I wish AMC would have done that instead so my A-List app could be used but alas.

The movie is still an epic adventure which is more than just Arnold Schwarzenegger getting revenge on the SOB’s that murdered his parents & his village, then was sold into slavery. It’s a tale where a hulking mass of humanity becomes a badass but he isn’t infallible-he has assistance from a wacky group of people he meets along the way. There are still struggles as his foe (Thulsa Doom) and his minions aren’t pathetic simpering laughable weaklings-instead they are formidable foes yet his bloodlust for revenge allows for a rampage in a variety of exotic locations in an alien world where “giant snakes” are one of the enemies-as many films have done through history, the natural scenery of Spain allowed for a cornucopia of different genres to be filmed in the country.

While not exactly what Robert E. Howard brought to the page when he created the pulp novel character Conan the Barbarian, writer/director/madman John Milius brought to life one hell of a pulp hero for the silver screen. Conan was a man of few words-his presence and how he was presented spoke volumes… it was a great physical performance-but was still a sword-wielding badass who was easy to root for as he engaged in a series of adventures with or without his companions. Doom was a great villain, and James Earl Jones naturally added plenty of gravitas to the role as the evil leader with cult leader overtones. It was also nice seeing Max von Sydow for a few minutes; he asked our gang to retrieve his manipulated daughter from Doom; the quest aspect of course is another common trope in this genre.

Milius and Oliver Stone (but apparently it was mostly the former’s script that appeared on screen) used a mix of many different sources-the novels, the operas of Richard Wagner, a ghost story that was used in the film Kwaidan, etc.-to create an unforgettable, distinctive world that was brought to live via great practical sets and great practical effects in a well-directed film. Even better than getting to experience a mature, masculine story (there’s no shortage of women sans clothing seen throughout) on the big screen with the impressive visuals: hearing the rousing, heroic, bold score from Basil Poledouris. That’s an all-timer of a score-it was a key component in making the film a compelling journey.

As I mention that it won’t be too long before I finally discuss Conan the Destroyer on Letterboxd, I’ll mention a few last details:

* A belated RIP to Renato Casaro, a famed Italian artist who created a number of legendary posters for films (including Conan the Barbarian). He deserves credit for helping sell a movie to the general public. I should also give a belated RIP to Drew Struzan, another artist who created legendary film posters. Imagine being a legend who gave us the posters to Star Wars, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Back to the Future, AND E.T.

* The auditorium was ice-cold for the screening. Not ideal, although it made the opening minutes in that snowy landscape a 4D experience!

* I was not expecting COSPLAY at this showing yet it happened. Note that it wasn’t an elaborate get-up you’d expect at a comic-con. Rather, a dude wore his version of tunics, faux wrist-guards and a cheap horned Viking helmet. While no one in the film looked like that costume, I was still charmed. Hopefully he and his girl had as much fun seeing Conan the Barbarian on the big screen as I did.

 

Avatar: Fire & Ash

Avatar: Fire & Ash (2025)

66% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 337 reviews)

Runtime: A LONG 197 minutes

Directed by: James Cameron

Starring: The usual faces, plus the true highlight in an underutilized Oona Chaplin

From: 20^th Century Studios

No one's more surprised than me that I was finally let down by a James Cameron film.

Prefacing needs to occur first. This would have been watched sooner after release like I did with the first two-my schedule prevented that for a variety of reasons. It wasn't a lack of interest-simplistic plots aside, the first two Avatar movies were enjoyable. The audio and especially the visuals were naturally the standouts but I didn't mind the plots. Regrettably, that changed this time. The audience experience at the IMAX 3D screening wasn't the greatest-however, even if I was alone viewing the film on the world's largest IMAX screen, my opinion likely would be the same.

A huge problem: while I still enjoy the kids (including Spider)-constant usage of “bro” aside-this time around, I shouldn't be hating both Jake Sully and his old lady, yet that's what occurred here. Both were idiotic, insufferable fools who made moronic choice after moronic choice. So was the tribe from the second film, whose domicile they were still residing at. Before anyone retorts, yes I realize that they (along with the Ash tribe introduced in this movie) were the most blatant examples of the Native American allegory Cameron has always pushed. That did not make for an entertaining movie, IMO.

That Ash tribe-especially their badass lady leader Varang-were captivating. I understood their motivations and she was a dominant badass. Unfortunately, they then suddenly weren't so captivating and that was a major letdown. Many bad, baffling choices were made throughout, the number of convenient moments utterly staggering. In addition, even by Cameron standards, some of the dialogue and one-liners were rather putrid, especially for the scenarios where those lines were uttered. The fact that it seemed like little had changed from The Way of Water and the movie too often felt like a rehash of The Way of Water: that was also a huge issue.

This time around, the audio/visual component and some entertaining action did not make up for the plot (which constantly spun its wheels and felt totally stale compared to the grandeur of the first two pictures) and characters. Furthermore, for a movie 197 minutes in length, I shouldn't have felt like scenes were missing, so jagged was the story at times. I shouldn't have been confused so often at how we got from one scene to the next. An additional issue was how the movie felt longer than Satantango-RIP Bela Tarr.

All that plus an utterly preposterous final 15 to 20 minutes before the end credits finally hit-there's no need for me to ever watch the film in full again. Of course, I left as soon as those end credits rolled; to make another unpopular comment, I wanted to avoid the “song” from the utterly loathsome Miley Cyrus, the former Blackface artist and perpetually disgusting, vile creature. At least I can laugh that she looks like a 50-year old woman now!

But back on topic... Oona Chaplin and Stephen Lang are innocent of all charges. They share none of the blame for the failings of the film. As I've said too often in recent years, I'm glad that most others love the film but sadly, that love can't be shared by me. Aside from nice visuals and characters that were interesting at first, I'm happy to forget most of Fire & Ash.

 

Mogambo

Mogambo (1953)

Runtime: 116 minutes

Directed by: John Ford

Starring: Clark Gable, Ava Gardner, Grace Kelly, Donald Sinden, Philip Stainton

From: MGM

It was time for me to clear some space on the DVR, to see more John Ford, and to talk about an older film for the Letterboxd mutuals that mainly watch older films. I had this on the DVR since August so it was time. I have seen Red Dust, the 1932 film that was the first time the story was brought to the silver screen, and Clark Gable reprised his lead role.

Like in Red Dust, he was of the grouchy sort. Unlike the Indochina setting of Red Dust, Mogambo was set and filmed in Africa. Gable was a big game hunter-I know, that’ll be a deal-breaker for some even if he captures animals to sell to zoos rather than killing them for sport. Via circumstances, Ava Gardner, a nightclub singer nicknamed HONEY BEAR is stranded in that remote area. Understandably, our lead male falls for her, but then Grace Kelly appears; if only I could be able to romance either Gardner or Kelly, let alone both the same time. I certainly don’t look nor act like Gable, which is unfortunate.

Yeah, Red Dust is better, yeah, both leading ladies are stereotypical in not the most progressive ways-especially Kelly’s character-and yes the movie is overall a product of its time, for better or for worse. Be that as it may, I was entertained by this piffle which had some wacky characters, funny sniping between feuding characters, and some adventure amongst the romance in a lovely exotic setting, where a zoo’s worth of animals are seen throughout. Ford as a director of course is always a nice asset along with the leads. For my tastes, the bold, saucy Gardner character was the more appealing of the two love interests.

Perhaps I’m being a tad kind to Mogambo; nevertheless, while this is not top-tier Ford by any means, enough likable qualities are present (including a score done via African instruments) that were able to charm my pants off even if I typically prefer my John Ford to not be romance-heavy.

Anaconda (The "Meta Reboot")

Anaconda (2025)

51% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 138 reviews)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Tom Gormican

Starring: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Steve Zahn, Thandiwe Newton, Daniela Melchoir

From: Columbia

There are reasons why you rarely see me review modern comedies. 

Longtime readers will likely know that modern films in general are rated lower by me than typical-ones made before 2010 or so seem to be preferable, for a litany of reasons. Comedies especially made in modern times rarely even look appealing to me and aren’t worth the bother. Those pondering why in the world I would choose to see this on the big screen, it’s for a few reasons: 

* I saw the original Anaconda theatrically 29 (!) years ago. Then and now, I don’t have a particular affinity for it, although that film is still amusing crap.

* No, I didn’t attend to ogle Thandiwe Newton or Daniela Melchoir, although both of course are attractive women.

* This fit my schedule for last night better and I had hardly been to the cinema at all the past two months.

* For all my griping about modern comedies, fresh ammunition as to my gripes were probably necessary.

The realization is that this review of Anaconda likely won’t receive too much blowback-the reception to the film so far has been rather mixed. My main reasons for not liking too much of the movie: the story is absolute nonsense how Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Newton, and Steve Zahn went to the Amazon to remake Anaconda. It’s stupid, no matter how they explained the scenario at various point. Even worse: this goof troop acted like absolute blathering idiots. Was I suppose to be charmed by stupid people acting stupidly just because it was done by famous faces? Tropic Thunder, this is not.

As an aside, I’ve never understood the popularity of Jack Black. Heck, I’ve never understood the popularity of Tenacious D either! That doesn’t mean I thought highly of Black throwing his buddy under the bus when controversy arose. However, that of course doesn’t impact my low rating of Anaconda.

I can’t call the movie an abomination or totally devoid of merit. It looked fine in terms of cinematography, there were some amusing moments and I wasn’t made that angry about the experience as a whole, the preposterous nature of the story and other issues related to the plot aside, such as how often the snake appears (or doesn’t) & how superfluous Melchoir’s subplot was aside. The fact that I saw a trailer for a “comedy” that looked totally abominable before Anaconda made this look not so wretched in comparison.

Last week, some people on Twitter roasted how bad The Breadwinner looked judging by its just-released trailer. I finally saw that trailer, and it was wretched. Imagine Mr. Mom (gasp, a father has to raise his daughters on his own for some time as their mother is out of town for work) except much worse and much more preposterous as it’s 2026. Breadwinner appears to be slapstick buffoonery of the worst kind. It doesn’t make me want to change my stance on avoiding anything Nate Bargatze, that’s for sure. That said, on Twitter now there are many people-me included-appalled that some journalist goof (and probable troll, judging by recently-unearthed tweets) tried to make himself look like a babyface as he moans over not liking his role as a parent and only wants to spend TEN MINUTES A DAY w/ his toddler son. Not everyone should have children…

Back on topic, there are comedies from the past 15 or so years that offended me or irritated me more; I can’t go Scorched Earth on this new Anaconda even if the OG Anaconda from ’97 was accidentally funnier and more entertaining.

Dazed & Confused

Dazed & Confused (1993)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Richard Linklater

Starring: A great cast

From: Gramercy Pictures

NOW I remembered why I don’t love this movie like everyone else.

For those who haven’t followed me on Letterboxd for that long, note that once in awhile I’ll have a hot take. This includes me not liking ANY movie from Park Chan-Wook, hating One Battle After Another, thinking that the atrocious Suspiria remake was a miserable, interminable 2 ½ hours at the cinema, and the ultimate: loathing Everything Everywhere All at Once. Me mainly liking Dazed and Confused for its all-timer soundtrack and an all-timer performance from Matthew M is mild in comparison. 

Note that I did see this movie once in high school and the other time was as a freshman in college; it probably was the fall of 2000 when I was at a party pal’s apartment with some others. Drinks were had as this was one of the films seen; I didn’t leave that place and head back to my dorm until after 5 AM! I was just like one of the characters in the film, chastising mother aside.

I’ve stated before that slice-of-life movies usually aren’t for me. That’s what I remembered most from those viewings literally decades ago, along with the soundtrack and the Wooderson character. In 2026, I still don’t typically love slice-of-life movies, even if it was about the last day of high school and I was reminded in part of various experiences I had in high school. Unfortunately, I was reminded that someone I once knew said that “all women are either prudes or sluts” as I heard similar comments made by one character in the backseat of an automobile. The 70’s setting was of course of interest to me, along with all the excellent rock/pop songs that you’d hear in late May of 1976 playing throughout. 

The biggest gripe I had then and still have now: why IS that horrible subplot concerning the town tradition of all high school seniors hazing 8th graders the summer before they enter high school? Did this EVER happen, anywhere? It was totally unpleasant, first off, and I have a hard time believing this was a thing no matter what I hear otherwise. This certainly did not happen in my Illinois hometown. The fact that this was a theme that ran throughout the movie was a massive turn-off. Preposterous to me was that a star quarterback was thinking of quitting the football team because… the coaches want the squad to sign a meaningless pledge about not drinking alcohol or smoking weed?! Huh?

I know it’d be a lot cooler if I did love the movie… I was happy when Matthew McConaugahey entered the picture-if only it’d been sooner than 40 minutes in. It wasn’t just that his character had the best dialogue and was the most memorable, overall gross nature aside; it was his performance that launched his career. I can’t explain the bad commercials he’s been in the past few years, but… 

As unpopular as this statement will be, despite a quality cast (including Ben Affleck and his tremendous head of hair) along w/ the other positives, I’ll be happy to never see the film again. It also doesn’t make me want to do a deeper dive on the filmography of Richard Linklater. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are legendary; Before Midnight, on the other hand… now there’s another take even spicier than my ambivalence towards Dazed & Confused.