The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The 2003 Version)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Marcus Nispel

Starring: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour

From: New Line Cinema

Thank heavens for R. Lee Ermey

Despite all the love I have for the OG TCM (and the love people have for my two reviews of it) not to mention liking the first two sequels, I had never advanced past that point in the franchise—the incredibly spotty record of the subsequent entries scared me away. But, it seemed like time to finally watch another one of those; at least this immediately proclaimed its credibility to the world... after John Larroquette returning to reprise in part his narration from the original movie, the leads are shown in a sweet early 70's Dodge van and are singing Sweet Home Alabama, as they are on their way to a Skynyrd concert in Dallas. Problem is-the band's iconic song came out in '74 on their second album and this establishes itself as taking place on the same days as in the first TCM: the middle of August 1973. That attention to detail...

The general idea was the same and the cinematography-done by Daniel Pearl, who also lensed the OG movie-was similar but otherwise this is quite different. The movie has the gore that people THINK was in the original (while it was only the subsequent movies that had it) and the raw visceral feeling is not really present. There's no handicapped brother named Franklin, although it doesn't mean that there aren't some annoying characters. In essence, this is a silly slasher that isn't great, although at least has some decent atmosphere and enough scares to where it isn't awful or a struggle to get through. Of course, having the name “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” will do it no favors as the original will forever be a classic. Plus, at times you can tell the director (Marcus Nispel) was originally from the music video world.

Much to my delight, R Lee Ermey's presence was an added bonus. He delivered what you hoped he would in his role as the Sheriff: yelling at people and uttering some incredibly vulgar things which made me laugh even though I probably shouldn't. That helped make this an average horror movie; Lord, I know there's worse in the franchise and this isn't the worst genre effort I've seen the past few weeks-hence, the average rating.