Am
I really surprised I would loathe a film which brags about having “six
acts and an epilogue”? Pretentious claptrap is one of the nice phrases I
can use to describe why this did not work for me at all. For
transparency's sake, when I first heard there was going to be a remake
of the Argento classic, I groaned... then the realization came that the
original definitely has its flaws (the focus on the visuals and music
does come at the expense of storytelling and a logical plot... and I
still give that film high marks) and with the talent involved perhaps
this would be worthwhile.
Well... this only using the basic plot synopsis of the original and doing other things with it was not something I was immediately against. What they came up with for this movie, though: ostentatious tripe. I am not quite sure what the purpose was of the added material and new characters... all the time spent on Tilda Swinton as an old man the chief example there; what was the point of that character and his backstory? Also, this movie was too obtuse and had its head up its own ass to explain why in several scenes there were radio and television broadcasts heard and seen which talked about the Red Army Faction (i.e. the Baader-Meinhof Gang) and the hijacking of Lufthansa Flight 181. Wikipedia can tell you all about that group and their actions but why was it mentioned in this film a few times? All it did was make me want to do some research about them at home and watch other films, such as The Baader-Meinhof Complex and the 1978 German film Germany in Autumn.
Then there are the gruesome moments in the film... I could write a lot about that overblown, goofy finale but I won't. Instead, I'll mention that those gruesome moments became downright laughable as they lasted WAY too long to the point I had to stifle a chuckle or two; way to ruin some scary images. Furthermore, there are a few “shock” moments of dialogue and all they served to do was take me out of the movie as they were so goofy; I presume the audience wasn't supposed to chuckle but they certainly did. No wonder some of them left before this nonsense was even halfway over with.
A rating this low is admittedly unfair when the cast did the best they could, some of the score was good (even if it didn't always seem to fit the movie... also, you want to talk about pretentious, Radiohead...) and the interpretative dancing appeared to be well-executed. I did not even decide on this scathing score until I witnessed that preposterous finale and then we got the epilogue that just kept---on---going. There were at least six times the movie appeared to be ending-and I couldn't wait for this to be put out of its misery-but it just kept on going and going, showing us crap I could not possibly care about as I was never given a reason to care about the events in the epilogue.
My opinion of this Suspiria “reimagining” will be downright blasphemous to most that have already seen this; I am willing to take the heat here and be honest in stating how this did not work for me at all.
Well... this only using the basic plot synopsis of the original and doing other things with it was not something I was immediately against. What they came up with for this movie, though: ostentatious tripe. I am not quite sure what the purpose was of the added material and new characters... all the time spent on Tilda Swinton as an old man the chief example there; what was the point of that character and his backstory? Also, this movie was too obtuse and had its head up its own ass to explain why in several scenes there were radio and television broadcasts heard and seen which talked about the Red Army Faction (i.e. the Baader-Meinhof Gang) and the hijacking of Lufthansa Flight 181. Wikipedia can tell you all about that group and their actions but why was it mentioned in this film a few times? All it did was make me want to do some research about them at home and watch other films, such as The Baader-Meinhof Complex and the 1978 German film Germany in Autumn.
Then there are the gruesome moments in the film... I could write a lot about that overblown, goofy finale but I won't. Instead, I'll mention that those gruesome moments became downright laughable as they lasted WAY too long to the point I had to stifle a chuckle or two; way to ruin some scary images. Furthermore, there are a few “shock” moments of dialogue and all they served to do was take me out of the movie as they were so goofy; I presume the audience wasn't supposed to chuckle but they certainly did. No wonder some of them left before this nonsense was even halfway over with.
A rating this low is admittedly unfair when the cast did the best they could, some of the score was good (even if it didn't always seem to fit the movie... also, you want to talk about pretentious, Radiohead...) and the interpretative dancing appeared to be well-executed. I did not even decide on this scathing score until I witnessed that preposterous finale and then we got the epilogue that just kept---on---going. There were at least six times the movie appeared to be ending-and I couldn't wait for this to be put out of its misery-but it just kept on going and going, showing us crap I could not possibly care about as I was never given a reason to care about the events in the epilogue.
My opinion of this Suspiria “reimagining” will be downright blasphemous to most that have already seen this; I am willing to take the heat here and be honest in stating how this did not work for me at all.
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