Cold Storage

Cold Storage (2026)

76% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 68 reviews)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Jonny Campbell

Starring: Joe Keery, Georgina Campbell, Liam Neeson, several names I wasn't expecting to see

From: Several different European companies, plus one from Morocco

This was the first of two theatrical movies I saw on Thursday; the second review will be posted Saturday afternoon. Praise I heard elsewhere + the premise of “killer fungus causing people to explode” was intriguing. Both movies I saw were R-rated original ideas, which I of course in theory prefer to all the gruel that’s clogged multiplexes for years now.

I never saw a trailer for Cold Storage and only knew the premise. The germ of the idea being that a piece of Skylab falling from space in ’79 fell in the outback of Australia but it contained the fungus, and it was captured and stored in Kansas but it was decommissioned & now resides a storage facility… that was unknown to me, as was the cast including Sosie Bacon, Lesley Manville, Richard Brake, & even Vanessa Redgrave.

Yeah, you don’t want to scrutinize the plot too hard, the CG usually
didn’t look great, and to use a word from the movie, the characters were too loquacious in general… meaning everyone was real talkative, especially Joe Keery’s lead character. My criticisms aside, the movie was still a fun time. The fast pace never lagged, the gross-out moments entertained me, and there were some laughs. While not a classic and not the sort of 80’s splatter horror-comedy I’d most likely prefer, Cold Storage provided enough entertainment to satisfy me. Much of the film is in one large setting, used decently well.

There are enough bad things happening to reprehensible characters and the team of Keery/Georgina Campbell was quaint-enough for my tastes. Plus, Liam Neeson (who portrayed a realistic old man w/ back issues instead of an old badass that was his motif for years after Taken) got to talk on the phone in a menacing fashion as if he was Bryan Mills again for a scene.

The Strange Woman

The Strange Woman (1946)

Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Except for the opening, Edgar G. Ulmer

Starring: Hedy Lamarr, George Sanders, Louis Hayward, Gene Lockhart, Hillary Brooke

From: This was an independent production, but it was picked up by United Artists

It was time again to watch a movie that’s been sitting on the DVR for months, along with it being a nice change of pace. I still haven’t seen enough Hedy Lamarr so that is another good reason to make this selection.

Lamarr is a wild, bold woman (especially for 19th century New England) who is wanton, a maneater, and calculating, even as a child in a scene shot by Douglas Sirk-who was obviously damaged as a kid by her misfortune of having an alcoholic father. As a dumb man like myself, I was amused by her scheming, how she romanced both an old man-the richest dude in town, a timber baron-and his son, by her bold manner. This occurs as in the background, there’s increasing chaos in the town of Bangor, Maine; a police force is needed to quell the drunken revelry and buffoon behavior of the area’s lumberjacks.

Lamarr famously left MGM and formed her own production company, this being the first film that was made. It performed alright at the box office although went over budget. The cast was fine and featured some names I’ve seen in other movies (like Gene Lockhart and Louis Hayward) but of course Hedy was the highlight as the titular strange woman. She was a devilish delight as Jenny. Some may think “good for her” or “YYYAAASSSS Queen!” at her duping multiple stupid men, including George Sanders.

The Hays Code made the conclusion obvious; that didn’t dampen my enthusiasm. This 40’s version of a tawdry melodrama was enjoyable, well-directed by Edgar G. Ulmer… the explanation for Sirk directing the opening: evidently, the original opening involving Ulmer’s own daughter was seen as “unsatisfactory.” The Strange Woman: more than satisfactory, at least in my eyes.

Der Fan

Der Fan (i.e. The Fan) (1982)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Eckhart Schmidt

Starring: Desiree Nosbusch, Bodo Staiger, Simone Brahmann, Jonas Vischer, Helga Tolle

From: Barbara Moorse Workshop

This was quite the West German movie, even more so than expected: 

Well, this took a turn…

How I first heard of the West German horror film I’ll always know by its original title (Der Fan) is lost to the sands of time, except that it was years ago. The lack of availability when it came to (legal) streaming was why it was just now that this viewing occurred. Oh, I’ve had a copy “in my collection” for awhile but now was finally the inclination to check it out. Beforehand, of course I’ve heard those awful stories of celebrity stalkers and how some actresses in the 80’s were murdered by “fans” who killed them because if they can’t have her… how much was that an aspect in this movie? I dare not say.

I thankfully went into the movie rather blind. I knew the premise: a teen girl named Simone had a dangerous obsession with a New Wave dude known only as R. It’s more than a teenage crush, despite the naïve and silly beliefs she has that they’ll fall in love if only they ever met. She is never without her SWEET Sony Walkman and headphones. As I thankfully never had the second half spoiled and did not know what would occur-the references I saw to a movie by another director made years later meant nothing, as I’ve never seen that movie-I went “WTF?” on a few occasions as the film consumed me.

The key component that made Der Fan compelling: the performance from teen Desiree Nosbusch as Simone. It was a brave role, due to part for appearing more than 20 minutes in a row without any clothing on.

As Wikipedia and IMDb indicate she was born in 1965… the math tells me this may be a reason why American streaming isn’t a thing for the movie. So are some overtones for certain German things of the past… Bodo Staiger was amusing as the block of wood (intentional) that was the dolt known as R. Now, realize that the pacing is rather methodical and that won’t be for all tastes; however, I was mostly fine w/ the measured pacing.

Another key component along with the performances and the dreary (again, compliment) cinematography was the krautrock score from Rheingold, a New Wave band led by—Bodo Staiger. The unique tones inherent to those genres was perfect as a sonic soundscape that matched the tone of Der Fan. I found the score rather delicious, myself.

The movie won’t be for everyone and you have to know that Nosbusch’s later anger over that long nude stretch was something she was upset about—if that is not a deal-breaker, then Der Fan is perhaps something you’ll want to track down.

The Outfit

The Outfit (1973)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: John Flynn

Starring: Robert Duvall (RIP), Joe Don Baker, Karen Black, Robert Ryan, & many other familiar faces

From: MGM

RIP Robert Duvall

In the preceding year or so, I’ve thought it a positive that Duvall was still alive in his 90’s; while I’m not surprised someone that age passed away, that doesn’t mean I am not bummed that such a great actor has died. He delivered classic scenes in several all-timers and was always a delight in a wide variety of movies-even ones I thought were mediocre like 1975’s The Killer Elite.

Yes, there are films I’ve seen w/ him in the past not reviewed on Letterboxd yet but as someone elsewhere asked about The Outfit and like typical with me, it’s one I’ve thought about watching for years… “a gritty 70’s movie” is naturally appealing. Note that I’ve never read any of Donald Westlake’s Parker novels so I can’t compare this iteration of the character to the page. As others have stated, how peculiar that the one film which didn’t change the surname from “Parker” to something else was when Jason Statham portrayed him.

Instead of Parker, Duvall was Earl Macklin; he is sent to prison for a concealed weapon charge. Once released, Earl discovers the death of his brother-yep, this is a revenge picture. The titular Outfit is in fact a reference to The Mob; Earl & his brother stole money from a Mob bank, you see. Getting retribution against them seems like an insurmountable task—but he has the advantage of having Joe Don Baker as a buddy in the raids against Mob fronts.

The cast was a highlight; what talent involved: there’s also Karen Black, Robert Ryan, Timothy Carey, Richard Jaeckel, Sheree North, Marie Windsor, Henry Jones, Joanna Cassidy, Elisha Cook, Jr., Bill McKinney… many familiar faces, all quality talent. In addition, the presence of a few veterans of film noirs of the past couldn’t have been a coincidence. Many of them only appear in a scene or two but were still nice to see.

What anchors the film is the great trio of Duvall, Baker, & Black. As typical, even as a “tough guy”, Duvall brought moments of vulnerability to Earl Macklin; right after he and Black physically fought each other, they shared a tender moment w/ each other. I have an affinity for 70’s movies anyhow but in The Outfit, the decade’s palette was on display. The film’s not full of violence but when those violent outbursts occur, they are of the staccato variety: short yet packing a punch.

Include a crackin’ Jerry Fielder score and this was a fine way for me to see something new last night that paid tribute to a great actor. Later in ’26 I’m certain to see more from the late Robert Duvall.

The Executioner

The Executioner (Chougeki! Jigoku Ken) (1974)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Teruo Ishii

Starring: Sonny Chiba, Makoto Sato, Eiji Go, Masahiko Tsugawa, Shozo Saijo

From: Toei

I was happy to see more Sonny Chiba & help whittle down the queue I have on Arrow’s streaming site. Honestly, it’s the task of Sisyphus to whittle down all the queues I have on streaming sites, my physical media or the movies I have in “files” but I’m glad to have seen a movie I’ve seen praised elsewhere, and according to one person on a messageboard, this is notably better than its much goofier sequel.

The plot is deceptively simple: Chiba is a badass ninja (but of course; actually, his grandfather is much more powerful than him); he is recruited alongside a former police detective turned assassin and an immoral former Aikido instructor-no, not Steven Seagal!-turned criminal to take out a drug dealer. There’s plenty of karate, sleaze (director Teruo Ishii made more than a few films involving women being tied up), goofy comedy-not just from the Aikido instructor-and nudity from several different women, including from a diplomat’s daughter from a Latin American country I’ll describe as Not Mia Goth.

I do have to give a shoutout to the vibrant score from Hajime Kaburagi. The movie is a mixed bag and uneven; one consistent was a score that had everything from electric guitar, organ, & timpani to a slide whistle, a vibraphone, and a jaw harp. Not to sound like a “get off my lawn!” guy but scores these days just aren’t as imagintative and bold like the one for even a random silly movie from Toei that has a plot all over the map.

For a script that’s a little perplexing at times, the action did deliver and at times was rather creative. At one point, paint is used in a martial arts ass-beating; the colors happened to be those of the Ukrainian flag. As this movie featured a scene where the goofball character had a massive erection obvious in his blue jeans, don’t expect me to check out a sequel that presumably is full of such ribald humor. The original-on the other hand-was fun and delivered what I wanted, which was “Sonna Chiba as a badass.”

The Lazarus Effect

The Lazarus Effect (2015)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: David Gelb

Starring: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Evan Peters, Sarah Bolger, Donald Glover

From: Several different companies, including (unfortunately) Blumhouse

This sure was a Blumhouse movie. Even back then they would make… “slop” is a WAY overused word so “gruel” will be substituted instead. Why in the world would I give this a shot despite its poor reputation? I was always curious/puzzled that this gruel had an overqualified cast: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Sarah Bolger, Donald Glover, Evan Peters, and (for a minute) Ray Wise. After viewing, I’m still puzzled as to how this attracted such a cast, unless the putrid script went through a massive metamorphosis between casting and filming.

The plot: naïve goofballs working at a university create a Lazarus serum to revive animals. Of course Big Pharma becomes involved… for a minute, which was the extent of time that Ray Wise appears in the film. The film was actually OK in the beginning; however, when a human dies, someone else decides the worst and uses that serum to resurrect her, to predictable results… actually, I didn’t predict what happened afterwards.

Beforehand, I presumed this would be “inspired” by Flatliners; perhaps it was, as neither version of Flatliners has ever been tackled by me. However, I noticed a major inspiration was another film-one that came out not too long before The Lazarus Effect. That “another film” has never been seen by me either… but my late mother did one night on TV. That redacted movie I know becomes bizarre by the end-my mother was bamboozled. She might as well have seen Funky Forest, she was so baffled!

Me, I was baffled that Lazarus went in this direction; it was the wrong direction and that’s not even factoring in the illogic of the plot, how dopey all the characters became, the lack of any scares (even the plentiful jump scares didn’t make me jump nor scare me), the squandering of the premise-a true Blumhouse trademark-and how the 83-minute runtime was a hindrance as I barely knew the characters so when chaos happened, I didn’t really care.

There’s a decent idea or two but despite that, how bad the movie became after an OK start especially was an irritant. Even a fine score from Sarah Schachner (yes, of Prey and Predator Badlands fame) couldn’t elevate the What a waste of the cast; I hope THIS wasn’t what they signed up for and the story made unfortunate changes by the time filming began. But I’ve said too much about this disappointment, so best to forget the effect this gruel had on me.

The Rules of Attraction

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Roger Avary

Starring: James Van Der Beek (RIP), Shannyn Sossamon, Ian Sommerhalder, Jessica Biel, and many other famous faces

From: Lions Gate 

RIP James Van Der Beek

People my age will be AGHAST to hear that I barely watched Dawson’s Creek and never saw Varsity Blues. This doesn’t mean I did not find it sad that Van Der Beek had cancer or that he passed away at an age only a few years higher than mine. I won’t address the controversies over how much his healthcare cost, how he allegedly treated his cancer, or his family’s GoFundMe.

Rather, I can finally revisit a movie that was watched during my college days; naturally, me and a pal-young and dumb-guffawed at the debauchery in this film devoted to a gaggle of sleazy, reprehensible characters, mostly college students themselves. Their version of university life wasn’t like ours… except for the barfing and promiscuous sex! There were no nude parties nor outdoor bashes where Wicker Man-esque effigies were burned, regrettably.

The film is full of sleazy, unlikable college students who engage in bad behavior. While naive, the one clearly designated as the most charming was Lauren, as portrayed by Shannyn Sossomon. There’s someone I should have better appreciated at the time. The main plot thread is a messed-up love triangle involving a guy, a girl, and a bisexual guy. Of course, I’ve never read the book so a comparison can’t be made there; however, the obvious comparison to American Psycho can be made-despite the change of setting from “late 80’s” to “early 2000’s” Van Der Beek’s character is still Sean Bateman, and still the brother of Patrick.

Of course, American Psycho eclipses Attraction and Christian Bale as Patrick is impossible to equal… although Van Der Beek still does a pretty good job of playing a deranged person as pathetic as his brother. Psycho is more darkly amusing and slicker... in fact, that had a clear, crisp sound and a sheen of consummate professionalism that gave it a big boost! This doesn’t seem like the right time for me to discuss why I don’t love everything about Roger Avary; he should just not have a Twitter account, and I’m not just referring to his embarrassing attempts to defend his friend Tarantino…

This was an independent production & I did not love everything Avary did as director-there’s a surprising amount of footage ran backwards and even running the end credits backwards was not a decision I agreed with. On the other side of the coin, there were things I did appreciate. There’s an eclectic soundtrack that sounds even more fresh in 2026 than it did at the time. There were several split-screen moments that were well-done, especially one involving a Saturday morning class. In addition, the cast is full of recognizable faces, including some that would find more fame in later years.

I do understand why many rate this film higher than I, regardless if they’ve read the novel or not. Me, I was not surprised that before last night, only a few moments that were retained through all these years: a scene shot guerilla-style in Europe that was a great soliloquy from a character named Victor (still the highlight), some vulgar dialogue involving underaged women, a suicide-there’s a trigger warning for anyone that needed it-and a minor character known as Richard but wants to be known as Dick.

While I wish it wouldn’t have taken the death of someone far too young for a revisit years in the making, The Rules of Attraction still brought back memories of a time I can’t accept as true was literally half a lifetime ago for me. It also reminded me what a buffoon I was for not checking out American Psycho during those halcyon college days.