A Quartet of Stooge Shorts

This includes by far the strangest short they ever made: 

Three Dark Horses: 

(Short # 142 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

The first of two Stooge reviews for today. As I’ve been planning for a few days, the second (to be posted in prime time) is WAY different from anything the Stooges did before or since-it is that strange an outlier, a lengthy review will be done.

This, on the other hand, is rather straightforward. The theme is “the Stooges are janitors who are hired as three delegates for an election for President”… yes, of the United States! You shouldn’t think too hard about the premise; after all, the candidate is named HAMMOND EGGER, a silly pun that still made me chuckle. This was released before the 1952 Presidential Election where Dwight D. Eisenhower defeated Adlai Stevenson.

This candidate is only shown on campaign posters; that’s because the photo is of Bud Jamison, who passed away 8 years prior. That was a nice tribute. There are only a few settings (including the office of Kenneth MacDonald, who is supporting Egger for nefarious reasons & a hotel room), two other characters, and aside from some new and old gags, there are two things to note:

The actor whose name I did not mention yet: Ben Welden. He was a veteran actor who constantly worked for years; 50’s TV fans may recognize him for playing several different roles in the George Reeves Superman show my dad watched as a kid.

The Stooges did not support Egger once discovering he was a crook, instead supporting Abel Lam Stewer. Insert your own comments if you wish!

Cuckoo on a Choo Choo: 

(Short # 143 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

Imagine David Lynch making a Stooges short…

Now, I realize how preposterous this phrase will sound, and even I agree that “Lynchian” is a term that can be overused. However, once I explain the bizarre plot Cuckoo has, my declaration won’t sound so deranged. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find much of a backstory as to WHY the talent involved (the Stooges themselves, their now-permanent director/producer Jules White, their typical writer Felix Adler) made something drastically different from the norm, then never became this adventurous or bold again.

This parodies two movies from the previous year that have no relation to each other: the sweaty drama A Streetcar Named Desire and the comedy Harvey, where Jimmy Stewart has a 6 foot ball humanoid rabbit as a pet only he can see. Larry and Shemp live in a stolen train car; instead of their usual characters, Larry (complete w/ white shirt) does his best Stanley Kowalski impression-that is as surreal as described; Larry apparently loved this performance-and Shemp is a drunk… who sees a humanoid bird he calls Carrie the Canary but was portrayed by a guy in a suit! I can’t explain that or why a music box is played whenever a jug of alcohol appears.

See what I mean about Lynchian? Larry wishes to marry Lenore but she refuses until Shemp marries her older sister Roberta. What amazing casting they did here: Roberta was played by Victoria Horne, who actually was IN Harvey; I haven’t seen Harvey but am under the impression she has a decent-sized supporting role. Meanwhile, Moe is an investigator who finally finds the train car. They interact on that limited set.

Personally, seeing a 50’s melodrama involving a brute, a drunk, and a pair of sisters where Moe was a former love of Roberta yet there were some absurdist moments-such as a gag of taking a phrase literally-and the drunk has mental health issues due to seeing humanoid birds (and what an outfit it is)… the late director might have been proud to see such strange subversion, such a dark look at people that may have seemed to be “normal” at first. Shemp talks to Carrie, she responds via chirps/tweets, and they dance with each other! If I’ve actually seen Twin Peaks, I’d know if such a sight would have been seen in the town.

Needless to say, many Stooge fans react to this as if a skunk just walked into the room. Note that while there are some slapstick moments, there are strange gags better seen than described, including a skunk appearing as they’re eating limburger sandwiches, and a long gag involving an electric razor. Somehow, I saw someone on a random site complain that this wasn’t avant-garde enough for them; I don’t always agree with those folks and this experience was plenty strange for my tastes. There were laughs but I’ll rate this as “fine” w/ the notation that its experimentation plays a partial role in my rating.

While in the Joe Besser era there were efforts featuring aliens & talking horses, many of the shorts from this point ‘till the bitter end are filled with stock footage and/or are remakes, not to mention the infamous Fake Shemp shorts. Those aren’t automatically bad; at the same time, don’t expect something as original as Cuckoo on a Choo Choo.

One last note: one of Curly’s daughters passed away about two months ago in her late 80’s; it was a reminder that not too many who are connected to this world when the Stooges were active are still alive. Well, Patricia Wright (the one person in the cast I did not mention yet) is alive & kickin’… she just turned 104!

Up in Daisy's Penthouse: 

(Short # 144 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges) 

This is a traditional Stooge short; I say that in contrast to the last one I reviewed… the major outlier known as Cuckoo on a Choo Choo. Unfortunately this started a trend of remakes and/or shorts that used footage from before but alas. Heck, this wasn’t the start of shorts w/ a small cast and/or limited sets & locations used. As others have noted, it seemed as if Shemp didn’t like to shoot scenes outdoors, but the studio’s budget may be more to blame for that. 

Regardless, Up in Daisy’s Penthouse remade 1937’s 3 Dumb Clucks, an effort I also only rated as “fine.” The trio are asked by their mom to stop their dad from marrying an obvious gold-digger; mom was correct as the gold-digger (named Daisy Flowers) is a confidant of two thugs who wants to engage in holy matrimony only for the sake of inheriting Shemp Howard Sr.’s dough. Like Curly did in Clucks, Shemp has a dual role where he’s “popsy-wopsy,” where in this case hair color and mutton chops is the only way to differentiate the two. Once dad shaves and dyes his hair for the wedding.

Several moments are borrowed from Clucks-so is some stock footage. Yet, there’s new routines involving such moments as the Stooges dressing for the wedding where of course mishaps occur-Penthouse is not top-tier yet isn’t one I’ll never view again. On a real-life note, Curly died on January 18, 1953; the day after his funeral was when they started filming Up in Daisy’s Penthouse. Now, perhaps they wanted to work as a distraction from that horrible moment. Yet, I’m cynical about Columbia during this era and I wouldn’t want to work the day after a sibling or a close friend was buried.

Booty and the Beast: 

(Short # 145 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

How funny the title is in modern times is the highlight of this short, honestly. “Booty” in this case is referring to the contents of a safe that Kenneth MacDonald attempts to crack... you know, booty as in the treasure that pirates have. In any case, he is attempting to break into a house but the jalopy the Stooges drive breaks down right in front of him. It doesn’t take much effort on his part to fool the trio that it’s his own house and he doesn’t have the combination to the safe he claims is his.

Once the trio realize they were duped and evade night watchman Vernon Dent, the rest is stock footage of 1947’s Hold that Lion; that’s the one on the train where MacDonald (of course portraying another character) is attempting to evade capture from the Stooges, Curly (w/ hair) has a brief cameo, and they interact w/ a lion. Still funny, although better in context back in ’47. This increase in stock footage from the past saved money for Columbia and was also nice for performers that have acted on stage & screen for decades by this point-let alone all the physical comedy they were a part of-yet for people like me going through this chronologically…

In any event, the new footage has some laughs so I’ll proclaim that Booty and the Beast was fine.

War of the Worlds

War of the Worlds (2025)

Runtime: 90 agonizing minutes

“Directed” by: Rich Lee

Starring: Ice Cube, Eva Longoria, Clark Gregg, a bunch of random actors

From: Universal!

Well, this was even worse than what I’ve been hearing for the past 36 hours!

Thursday, this suddenly popped up on Prime, free for any & all members to see. The description promised “a fresh take” on the H.G. Wells novel; note that I’ve never read the novel nor seen any of the cinematic adaptations—what a grievous error I made in making this the first! It wasn’t until Thursday night that I not only saw the bad reviews trickle in on Letterboxd, but learned more about the film.

This was a “screenlife” movie; that’s one entirely or almost entirely seen on a computer screen a la Searching, Unfriended, or 2020’s Host. The key thing to note: this was to be released by Universal (!) and was made in the late fall of 2020 (!!) but for reasons that became obvious to everyone after this suddenly appeared on Prime, this sat on the shelf and was dumped to streaming as even in the months after the theaters opened up when the pandemic was still a huge threat, this would have been lambasted and destroyed to the point of ruining Universal’s reputation.

Now, I can’t say if the CG looks so horrendous because this was a “first pass” at it and once the decision was made to keep the movie locked up for years there wasn’t any further money spent to make it look better. That’s the better scenario, although why would anyone think this was OK even on streaming, especially in 4K HDR quality. Well, after viewing all the Amazon product placement (especially during a finale that was SO bad and stupid it even staggered me at what an illogical nightmare it was) that answered my question.

The crazy MF’er named Ice Cube is an officer for a Department of Homeland Security and besides him doing everything instantaneously on his desktop no matter how illogical it is, he’s a real abusive A-hole who constantly spies on his young adult kids (to the point of peeking in his daughter’s fridge and deleting games from his son’s computer despite him being a gamer!) and I really did not like his Will Radford.

As he and some others coordinate a mission to stop hackers releasing a MacGuffin, the giant robotic aliens that have been in every adaptation since the 50’s attack. They want… data. Yes, all the data that humanity produces; it’s even more illogical than described. Even worse, despite the movie revealing that the aliens knocked out satellites to surprise humanity, “cyberattacks” and “data drains” occur, and many other examples that should have stopped the omniscient powers of Ice Cube, of course it don’t.

Honestly, despite the cyber attacks crippling the world’s military forces and electric systems collapsing, Cube can still spy on news broadcasts and any camera in the world, communicate with his family & colleagues, etc. The plot is such a disaster even before “the big twist” is revealed; I could write paragraphs on how appallingly bad the plot is but that’s more effort than this megabomb is worth. Ice Cube can’t carry the film and elevate the movie by his presence-a problem as much of the film is just him on screen. That said, Meryl Streep couldn’t elevate a catastrophe like this!

Several jaw-dropping moments notwithstanding, not even a short runtime of only 90 minutes could make me recommend this even as a bad movie experience. The idea of such a movie filmed during a pandemic was doomed from the start; the execution was so poor the filmmakers should feel blessed this was ever released… or perhaps it should be “escaped.” A ½ star rating is almost never given by me; however, it was not hyperbole for me to dish this out for War of the Worlds. The film was also garish to look at visually, the editing poor, the “political commentary” pathetic. The dumbest moment is that it appeared Cube was the only person working in that DHS building! He’s the sole person attempting to save the world via methods that truly were staggering in its illogic.

Don’t watch this, bad movie fans! It’ll be a struggle for even you folks. Even worse, this is the first War of the Worlds adaptation I’ve seen! My apologies to H.G. Wells.

Young Mr. Jazz

I viewed a 1919 silent starring Harold Lloyd: 

It’s been awhile since a silent short and due to the combination of “I want to see something from Harold Lloyd” and “I did not have the time/inclination for something longer than 10 minutes,” Young Mr. Jazz was selected.

Lloyd romances Bebe Daniels but as her father (Bud Jamison of many Three Stooges shorts during the Curly era supporting player) disapproves, after a run-in at the beach, she sneaks out of the house to The Bowery Café, a place described as so tough, “sandpaper has to wait in line.” Snub Pollard-who appeared in a few Stooge shorts himself-runs the joint. The cops show up, dad flirts with one of the “female employees,” Pollard orders others to pickpocket Harold & Bebe… plenty happens in just 10 minutes. 

It’s only at the end during a barroom brawl that Lloyd does most of his physical comedy & pratfalls. There are better Lloyd efforts, for sure; that said, it was an easy watch that still entertained me. The copy that can be streamed on the Criterion Channel (also available as an extra on the Safety Last Blu Criterion released, or so I’ve read) is of high quality and has an appropriate jazz score appropriate for 1919. I'll view at least another silent during the month of August.

Twins

Twins (1988)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Arnold, Danny De Vito, Kelly Preston, Chloe Bell, Marshall Bell

From: Universal

Yet another movie I saw as a kid but never revisited as an adult until now. It leaving Prime in a matter of hours after posting of this review is the main reason why. The memories are hazy on whether this was a theatrical experience at the age of 7 or not but I did see the movie on VHS at least once. Years ago, my parents were discussing the film and I was asked if I recalled the scene where Arnold looked at a giant advertisement for Rambo III and mocked Stallone’s physique… no I did not. Now, the feud they had at the time is silly considering they have been bosom buddies for literal decades now.

What I remembered of Twins: only a few fragments. Thus, the key subplot of Marshall Bell, Delivery Man of an expensive item in the trunk of a Cadillac which is stolen by Vincent and is to be delivered to someone named BEETROOT MCKINLEY--there was no memory of that whatsoever. After all these years… while not an 80’s classic, Twins was still a good time. Naturally, the wacky gimmick of “Arnold and Danny De Vito are twin brothers thanks to genetic engineering gone wrong” is amusing throughout; you couldn’t cast better for a genetic marvel than Schwarzenegger and of course De Vito can play “sleazy character” in his sleep.

There aren’t many surprises as Julius leaves his tropical island to finally find his twin yet I still laughed. Of course the naïve Julius changes as he finally is introduced to The Real World and of course the streetwise Vincent changes as he finally experiences brotherly love. Twins is an affable time as the main characters go on their journey which includes a road trip, romance, and some violence. I do laugh now that this was rated PG with all the shootings that occur. At times this was busy w/ subplots but I was still engaged with the film, the madcap premise, and Kelly Preston/Chloe Webb as the love interests. Given a few moments (including what I’ll describe as “a mating pose” from Preston) the movie obviously wasn’t viewed during my teen years!

I did hear years ago that Heather Graham played their mom in the opening; what did surprise me: the soundtrack was more fire than expected. Little Richard, Philip Bailey, Herbie Hancock, The Spinners, and several songs from Nicolette Larson/Jeff Beck/Tony Bozzio, who appear on camera playing music for a few minutes in a club. This was one reason why I was happy for this revisit long overdue, but it had been ages since a review of an Arnold movie also and I thankfully was entertained by something that hadn’t aged too poorly.

Mirror

Mirror (Zerkalo) (1975)

Runtime: 107 hypnotic minutes

Directed by: Andrei Tarkovsky

Starring: Margarita Terekhova, Alla Deminova, Ignat Daniltsev, Oleg Yankovsky, the voice of Arseny Tarkovsky

From: Mosfilm

After a needed day off, I was inspired to finally tackle a movie that hearsay told me was “dense” and “difficult.” Yes, this movie from Andrei Tarkovsky is nonlinear and has an ethereal quality-but the “story” was about the vibes rather than specific plot points, it was not difficult to decipher the points Tarkovsky was trying to make, and just a bit of reading made this unique experience not daunting or something that I should have put off for years. I rate Solaris and Stalker quite highly, so a chance should have been taken much sooner. Alas…

To give a few basics that will help new viewers: the life of Aleksei-a man in his 40’s who is never shown on screen as an adult until we see his right arm during the conclusion-is followed, along with some family members. Interspersed is footage of the Soviets at war; presumably this was to set the mood and establish the time period. Note that elements were taken from Tarkovsky’s life-at least a few plot points, important life events, guilt over past decisions. Furthermore, the director’s wife Larisa and mother Maria had small roles and poems from his poet father Arseny are read throughout by Arseny himself.

In addition, the same actress (Margarita Terekhova) portrayed both Aleksei’s mom and his ex-wife; the Oedipal message is obvious, although I hope that is just a character trait and not a feeling Tarkovsky dealt with personally! Armed with this knowledge, the viewer should also not go into Mirror expecting a traditional plot; instead, focus on the journey as the fragmented memories of a character are examined. Visually and aurally, Mirror was top-notch, a singular achievement.

Writing a review for Mirror, attempting to coalesce my thoughts into coherent words that accurately represent my thoughts concerning this masterpiece: a massive struggle. Instead of spending hours attempting to find the right phrases to describe the feelings, the mood that the picture gave me, I’ll say a few more things. The camera movements, the usage of water, mirrors, wind, and other motifs were all masterly. A few shots and moments will be etched into my memory for ages. What a lyrical look at a flawed character in Aleksei; whether or not this was Andrei Tarkovsky looking into a mirror and presenting a version of himself that is a 100% accurate version of himself-warts and all-is unknown.

Logically, of course a non-traditional picture like this that is lyrical and about emotion rather than a traditional plot/story won’t speak to everyone and they’ll be bumfuzzled by the presentation. Despite my logical mind, the motion picture was a stunning experience that could make you feel the same if viewed at the right time, i.e. you laser-focused and concentrating on the journey.

A Trio of Stooge Shorts

As I posted no proper review today, time to catch up with my Stooge reviews. I haven't seen any in a few days; however, two will be viewed then reviewed on Wednesday.

Corny Casanovas: 

(Short # 139 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges) 

Another minimalist Shemp effort. I say that as there are only two sets (apartment, house) and the only other person in the cast is Connie Cezan, who 50’s TV fans will know as Perry Mason’s secretary. The gimmick is that Cezan is dating all three at the same time without them knowing her ruse. To assuage any fears, she’s a heel because she wants to receive diamond rings, then she’ll skip town from all three Stooges. Don’t worry, no slut shaming to be done here! She is the victim of a pratfall, though.

The opening half is the trio cleaning their bachelor pad apartment as they talk to each other about their fiancés; eventually, they do discover that they all know Mabel… but not before the mayhem they caused to each other. They didn’t need much more than a mop, bucket, bed, davenport (which they reupholstered via sticking tacks in a rifle, which then fires like a Tommy Gun Al Capone would have used), paint, shoe polish and other items you find in a standard home, at least at the time. Some of it echoes moments from the past but I didn’t care as Casanovas was still riotous to me.

The laughs continue when Moe, Larry, & Shemp all meet Mabel, a few minutes after one another. They (the Stooges, I mean) beat the tar out of each other; I mean, more so than typical. As the denouement was quite memorable, Casanovas proved that sometimes you didn’t need a lot to earn belly-laughs for a theatrical crowd.

He Cooked His Goose: 

(Short # 140 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges) 

Deviating from the norm, this did. Only on a few occasions did we see the trio play different characters. In this case, Larry portrayed the owner of a pet shop who is also a philanderer, going out with both Moe’s wife and Shemp’s fiancé. His secretary Miss Lapdale… in fact sits on his lap. Larry in fact keeps his affairs as public as the now-former CEO of Astronomer!

I wanted to like this; however, this was more bizarre than funny. It’s set around Christmas and magically, because Shemp hides in a chimney, suddenly he materializes a Santa costume and wears it. Moe eats birdseed and suddenly starts acting like a bird. Yeah, the idea of Larry attempting to frame the other two so he can continue his cheating ways is a decent one but the execution didn’t really work for me. I also couldn’t tell you why on a few occasions, the viewer hears a musical stinger whenever Larry has an evil thought in his head.

Sure, there are some chuckles along the way; overall, though, it is lamentable that their attempt to not repeat themselves resulted in something I could not rate any higher.

Gents in a Jam: 

(Short # 141 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges) 

This was more what I wanted from the Stooges. They did not need more than an apartment set and another set consisting of two hallways to earn a number of belly-laughs. The premise is that the trio are living in an apartment but they’re in debt to their landlady, portrayed by Kitty McHugh. After mishaps attempting to paint their own apartment to earn some cash, they are still to be evicted… until Shemp’s rich uncle Phineas comes to visit. Of course he’ll pay that debt.

Complications arise when new neighbor Mrs. Duggan visits for a cup of sugar. Another mishap occurs and she loses some of her clothes! That’s a problem when her husband Rocky is “the world’s strongest man.” He was portrayed by Mickey Simpson of Giant fame; as he was 6 foot 6 (i.e. just under 2 meters) he looked like a giant compared to the diminutive Stooges. Many chuckles were had with such items as a bucket of paint, faucets that refuse to work correctly, and a radio.

That’s even before Emil Stika arrives as Phineas. Rocky and the Stooges constantly knock Phineas on his keister as the former attempts to chase down the latter. Arguably, the side players received more focus than the main trio… in this case that is OK. The pace is fast and the final two or so minutes are especially hysterical. McHugh passed away in 1954-I’ll say the circumstances are “upsetting.” On a note that may be humorous to some, even in the world of making Three Stooges shorts, there was drama behind the scenes. For reasons unknown to me, producer Hugh McCollum was dismissed; director Edward Bernds resigned from Columbia out of solidarity.

Jules White directed the rest of the almost 50 shorts left for the Stooges at the studio. He’s great himself yet Bernds deserves plenty of credit for starting out during the mediocre last few efforts from Curly then directing a number of very good or better Shemp shorts, including classics Brideless Groom and Who Done It? I’ll miss his contributions.

Stone Cold

Stone Cold (1991)

Runtime: 92 glorious minutes

Directed by: Craig R. Baxley

Starring: Brian Bosworth, Lance Henriksen, William Forsythe, Arabella Holzbog, Sam McMurray

From: Stone Group Pictures/Vision International

So, do people know that MICHAEL DOUGLAS was one of the producers of Stone Cold?!

Yesterday, discussion on a messageboard informed me that there was briefly a Starman TV show based on the film; there was no memory of that. While I was 5 and 6 when it was on, the show was one I’ve never seen discussed. I learned that Douglas was an executive producer; I went to the IMDb and discovered that he was also a producer for the Starman movie, which made me look at his other producer credits.

Of course I knew of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and how his dad wanted to make it for years. I did not know that he produced this AND Double Impact… yes, the Van Damme movie! According to the database, he was credited on Impact but not on this. Who knew? No better time to finally discuss Stone Cold, I say. I rate it highly only because it’s a hysterical movie that’s technically bad yet has legit talent involved along w/ an amazing-looking former football player who became famous in college for his great look & personality… despite flaming out in the NFL, Brian “The Boz” Bosworth and his mullet appeared in a few 90’s movies.

Stone Cold gives the impression of a parody of a loud, stupid period B-action film, except that the constantly loud, absurd, aggro nonsense was entirely sincere. The Boz played Joe Huff, a loose cannon cop who is forced by the FBI to go undercover in an Aryan Brotherhood biker gang; he has many arrests of bikers, you see. Those bikers not only work with the Mafia, they want to assassinate the judges at the Supreme Court of Mississippi to save one of their members.

Everything about the film is absurd, including our hero and his spectacular head of hair; that’s why Douglas producing something so loud & filled w/ gratuitous nudity is incredible. Those that enjoy period B-action films, however… this is a must. It delivers on the entertainment, whether due to absurdity, the oversized personalities, the macho attitude, the scenarios, the action. No wonder the film is still a cult favorite in those circles. The talents of both Lance Henriksen and William Forsythe as the biker leader and his main henchmen-what a homoerotic relationship they have!-were key assets, especially with the inexperience of Bosworth.

There were some other faces I recognized, from “that guy” actors to Tom Magee, a powerlifter/strongman who had a great look/athleticism and tried pro wrestling but didn’t have the mind for it. He’s the guy who looks like Kenny Omega!

No matter what you think of the rest, action fans need to see the climax; the conclusion delivers in spades. That is OOT in the best ways. Amazing to think that The Boz later went into the world of religious film (it’s a world I probably should avoid; it might be like kicking a hornet’s nest!) and also appearing in Dr. Pepper ads themed around college football that I think are brutally unfunny & stupid yet many seem to love.

For a film that had to replace its director Bruce Malmuth due to allegedly him “being in no condition to direct” (yet his son is still in Stone Cold) and stuntman/director Craig R. Baxley serving as the replacement, I’m glad this was finally discussed by me. I’m also glad that sometime in the future, Stone Cold will be released in 4K.