Runtime: 64 minutes
Directed by: Arthur Hilton
Starring: Sonny Tufts, Victor Jory, Marie Windsor, Susan Morrow, Douglas Fowley
From: Z-M Productions
Exactly as good as I suspected for a movie with that title… featuring a character named Walter Walters. Last night I consumed some alcohol so it seemed like a good idea to see a movie that someone on a messageboard mentioned after talking about how I saw Amazon Women on the Moon a few weeks ago. Tubi was the platform I used; note that I still haven’t seen their controversial Super Bowl ad thus I don’t know WHY it received such a frosty reception. I just know it is a neat service which does allow you to go down rabbit holes.
Going in I knew this would be schlock, total hokum where four male astronauts (a quartet of total dumbasses, it turns out) and cult actress Marie Windsor head to the moon & find a group of women who live subterranean under the Moon’s surface. The fact that they are all brunettes who wear black leotards seems like something from my subconscious…
There are unintended laughs to be had, sure; regrettably, the captain of the ship was a real wet blanket character… for the first half. In the Moon itself, the captain completely changes and the second in command becomes a total bummer. Whether or not that was intentional is uncertain. The plot itself sounds logical on paper-the race of women in the Moon are about to die out so they wish to hijack the rocket back to Earth to rule that world-but in execution it becomes more and more confused/illogical. Worst of all, the ending itself was a wet blanket… or perhaps a wet fart! An important moment happens off-screen and what happens is only told to you in the next scene.
Thus, I can’t give this a high grade although Cat-Women of the Moon still gave me some solid chuckles. This includes seeing that the composer was none other than Elmer Bernstein… his name was misspelled in the credits! Oh, and this movie was shot in 3D; even if somehow I ever had the chance to experience that extra dimension in the future, it won’t make up for the fun-sapping moments or the acres of blathering dialogue you hear throughout.
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